--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: That’s the paradox: the only time most…" description: "\"“That’s the paradox: the only time most people feel alive is when they’re suffering, when something overwhelms their ordinary, careful armour, and the ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/998/ted-hughes-8662_bravery_that-s-the-paradox-the-only-time-most-pe_2829822.png" --- # That’s the paradox: the only time most people feel alive… ![“That’s the paradox: the only time most people feel alive is when they’re suffering, when something overwhelms their ordinary, careful armour, and the naked child is flung out onto the world. That’s why the things that are worst to undergo are best to remember. But when that child gets buried away…” quote by Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/998/ted-hughes-8662_bravery_that-s-the-paradox-the-only-time-most-pe_2829822.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/998/ted-hughes-8662_bravery_that-s-the-paradox-the-only-time-most-pe_2829822.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/998/ted-hughes-8662_bravery_that-s-the-paradox-the-only-time-most-pe_2829822.png) > ““That’s the paradox: the only time most people feel alive is when they’re suffering, when something overwhelms their ordinary, careful armour, and the naked child is flung out onto the world. That’s why the things that are worst to undergo are best to remember. But when that child gets buried away under their adaptive and protective shells—he becomes one of the walking dead, a monster. So when you realise you’ve gone a few weeks and haven’t felt that awful struggle of your childish self — struggling to lift itself out of its inadequacy and incompetence — you’ll know you’ve gone some weeks without meeting new challenge, and without growing, and that you’ve gone some weeks towards losing touch with yourself. The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn’t live boldly enough, that they didn’t invest enough heart, didn’t love enough. Nothing else really counts at all.”” [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People feel most alive during suffering because it strips away defenses, revealing raw humanity; avoiding challenge leads to stagnation. **In simple terms:** Struggle reveals true self; avoiding it dulls life. Key Takeaway Seek challenges to stay alive. Themes suffering authenticity growth Mood introspective motivational Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - personal crises - creative work - overcoming adversity Key Concepts existentialism psychology resilience Questions to Reflect On - What challenge can you face now? - How do you balance safety and growth? A Different Perspective Too much focus on pain can cause despair. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Bravery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bravery/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Paradox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/paradox/) [Regret](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/regret/) [Suffering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suffering/) [Walking dead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/walking-dead/) ## Related quotes > [That's the paradox: the only time most people feel alive is when they're suffering, when something overwhelms their ordinary, careful armour, and the naked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-hughes/that-s-the-paradox-the-only-time-most-people-feel-alive-is-when-they-2/) [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) > [“Everybody tries to protect this vulnerable two three four five six seven eight year old inside, and to acquire skills and aptitudes for dealing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-hughes/everybody-tries-to-protect-this-vulnerable-two-three-four-five-six/) [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) > [“When people grow old and look back on their lives, they don't regret what they did, they regret what they didn't do.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-caraganis-jakobson/when-people-grow-old-and-look-back-on-their-lives-they-don-t-regret/) Joan Caraganis Jakobson > [“Looking back, my greatest regret is not that I didn't love them enough (to the brink of insanity and back again), but that I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bailey-vincent/looking-back-my-greatest-regret-is-not-that-i-didn-t-love-them-enough/) Bailey Vincent > [Mom never quit on me. My only regret is that she didn't live long enough to share some of the money and comforts my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ethel-waters/mom-never-quit-on-me-my-only-regret-is-that-she-didn-t-live-long/) [Ethel Waters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ethel-waters/) > [My one big regret is that I didn’t play on for 10 more years.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-best/my-one-big-regret-is-that-i-didn-t-play-on-for-10-more-years/) [George Best](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-best/) > [“My biggest regret is what I didn’t say… (Jake)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/keary-taylor/my-biggest-regret-is-what-i-didn-t-say-jake/) [Keary Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/keary-taylor/) > [It took me so many years to find you,and now the only regret that I have is we didn't find each other sooner baby…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nishan-panwar/it-took-me-so-many-years-to-find-you-and-now-the-only-regret-that-i/) [Nishan Panwar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nishan-panwar/) > [My biggest regret is that I didn't listen to my intuition as it was yelling at me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aras-baskauskas/my-biggest-regret-is-that-i-didn-t-listen-to-my-intuition-as-it-was/) Aras Baskauskas > [It's better to regret that it didn't work out, than to not have gave it a shot at all..Life is full of surprises.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/it-s-better-to-regret-that-it-didn-t-work-out-than-to-not-have-gave/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [When something goes wrong in your life, it doesn't finish you, and you should become braver, knowing that you've got to go for things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gareth-southgate/when-something-goes-wrong-in-your-life-it-doesn-t-finish-you-and-you/) [Gareth Southgate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gareth-southgate/) > [Regrets are for the weak. Don't regret for something you did, regret for something you didn't.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessel-jane-zozobrado/regrets-are-for-the-weak-don-t-regret-for-something-you-did-regret/) [Jessel Jane Zozobrado](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessel-jane-zozobrado/) > [“Regret was an emotional cancer, destroying you from the inside out. Eating at your most vital parts until there was nothing left but scar…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-johnson/regret-was-an-emotional-cancer-destroying-you-from-the-inside-out/) [Julie Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-johnson/) > [At the end, regret only what you didn't do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlie-rose/at-the-end-regret-only-what-you-didn-t-do/) [Charlie Rose](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlie-rose/) > [I always had a sort of niggling regret that we didn't come do stuff in America.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noel-fielding/i-always-had-a-sort-of-niggling-regret-that-we-didn-t-come-do-stuff/) [Noel Fielding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noel-fielding/) ## More by Ted Hughes > [The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-hughes/the-only-calibration-that-counts-is-how-much-heart-people-invest-how/) [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) > [The inmost spirit of poetry, in other words, is at bottom, in every recorded case, the voice of pain – and the physical body,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-hughes/the-inmost-spirit-of-poetry-in-other-words-is-at-bottom-in-every/) [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) > [“I sit in the top of the wood, my eyes closed. Inaction, no falsifying dream Between my hooked head and hooked feet: Or in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-hughes/i-sit-in-the-top-of-the-wood-my-eyes-closed-inaction-no-falsifying/) [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) > [The world rolls under the long thrust of his heel. Over the cage floor the horizons come.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-hughes/the-world-rolls-under-the-long-thrust-of-his-heel-over-the-cage-floor/) [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) > [But who is stronger than death? Me , evidently .](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-hughes/but-who-is-stronger-than-death-me-evidently/) [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) > [You are who you choose to be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-hughes/you-are-who-you-choose-to-be/) [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) > [Applause is the beginning of abuse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-hughes/applause-is-the-beginning-of-abuse/) [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) > [Stilled legendary depth: It was as deep as England. It held Pike too immense to stir, so immense and old That past nightfall I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-hughes/stilled-legendary-depth-it-was-as-deep-as-england-it-held-pike-too/) [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) > [As Popa penetrates deeper into his life, with book after book, it begins to look like a Universe passing through a Universe. It is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-hughes/as-popa-penetrates-deeper-into-his-life-with-book-after-book-it/) [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) > [“I had let it all grow. I had supposed It was all OK. Your life Was a liner I voyaged in. Costly education had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-hughes/i-had-let-it-all-grow-i-had-supposed-it-was-all-ok-your-life-was-a/) [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) > [He could not stand. It was not That he could not thrive, he was born With everything but the will – That can be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-hughes/he-could-not-stand-it-was-not-that-he-could-not-thrive-he-was-born/) [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) > [“If you're all so peaceful up there, how did you get such greedy and cruel ideas?" The dragon was silent for a long time…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-hughes/if-you-re-all-so-peaceful-up-there-how-did-you-get-such-greedy-and/) [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) > [Do as you like with me. I'm your parcel. I have only our address on me. Open me, or readdress me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-hughes/do-as-you-like-with-me-i-m-your-parcel-i-have-only-our-address-on-me/) [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) > [The real mystery is this strange need. Why can't we just hide it and shut up? Why do we have to blab? Why do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-hughes/the-real-mystery-is-this-strange-need-why-can-t-we-just-hide-it-and/) [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) > [With a sudden sharp hot stink of fox, It enters the dark hole of the head. The window is starless still; the clock ticks,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-hughes/with-a-sudden-sharp-hot-stink-of-fox-it-enters-the-dark-hole-of-the/) [Ted Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) [Explore all 79 Ted Hughes quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-hughes/) ## More Bravery quotes > [Not everyone is capable of madness; and of those lucky enough to be capable, not many have the courage for it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/august-strindberg/not-everyone-is-capable-of-madness-and-of-those-lucky-enough-to-be/) [August Strindberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/august-strindberg/) > [“How could we explain that standing on a stage and speaking someone else's words as if they are your own is less an act…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-l-rio/how-could-we-explain-that-standing-on-a-stage-and-speaking-someone/) [M.L. Rio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-l-rio/) > [There are those that say, if you do the uncomfortable thing long enough, it will become comfortable. But we are really not encouragers of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-hicks/there-are-those-that-say-if-you-do-the-uncomfortable-thing-long/) [Esther Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-hicks/) > [Courage is the skill of being the only one who knows your scared to death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/courage-is-the-skill-of-being-the-only-one-who-knows-your-scared-to/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Fearing our confrontations is one thing... facing them unarmed is a completely different matter.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-w-boyer-2/fearing-our-confrontations-is-one-thing-facing-them-unarmed-is-a/) [Mark W. Boyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-w-boyer-2/) > [Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/bravery-is-the-capacity-to-perform-properly-even-when-scared-half-to/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [To be able to live and train in Iraq under these circumstances you need to be brave.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-be-able-to-live-and-train-in-iraq-under-these-circumstances-you/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Every person has the power to change their fate if they are brave enough to fight for what they desire more than anything.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-garber/every-person-has-the-power-to-change-their-fate-if-they-are-brave/) [Stephanie Garber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-garber/) > [The terrorists-those nineteen people, with hundreds or maybe thousands behind them-did the worst thing you can possibly imagine. But tens of millions people did…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/the-terrorists-those-nineteen-people-with-hundreds-or-maybe-thousands/) [David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/) > [All the world's bravery that delights our eyes is but thy several liveries.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abraham-cowley/all-the-world-s-bravery-that-delights-our-eyes-is-but-thy-several/) [Abraham Cowley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abraham-cowley/) > [“We were taught to be good, and we were taught to be careful. But in this world, sometimes, I do not think we can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marguerite-bennett/we-were-taught-to-be-good-and-we-were-taught-to-be-careful-but-in/) Marguerite Bennett > [Fortune helps the brave.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terence/fortune-helps-the-brave/) [Terence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terence/) > [“A ‘good’ father will tenderly cultivate his children. But a ‘good’ father who is also a ‘brave’ father will let the children without cultivate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-d-lounsbrough/a-good-father-will-tenderly-cultivate-his-children-but-a-good-father/) [Craig D. Lounsbrough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-d-lounsbrough/) > [These are the men who, without virtue, labour, or hazard, are growing rich, as their country is impoverished; they rejoice, when obstinacy or ambition…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-johnson/these-are-the-men-who-without-virtue-labour-or-hazard-are-growing/) [Samuel Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-johnson/) > [Now I have the bravery to do fine things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabriela-sabatini/now-i-have-the-bravery-to-do-fine-things/) [Gabriela Sabatini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabriela-sabatini/) [Browse all 1,663 Bravery quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bravery/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“That’s the paradox: the only time most people feel alive is when they’re suffering, when something overwhelms their ordinary, careful armour, and the naked child is flung out onto the world. 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