---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If there's a demand of being together in…"
description: "\"If there's a demand of being together in a certain way, those expectations and judgements take away from that space and create an edginess and a crampe..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/281/tara-brach-1898_being-together_if-there-s-a-demand-of-being-together-in_471197.png"
---

#  If there's a demand of being together in a certain way…

![“If there's a demand of being together in a certain way, those expectations and judgements take away from that space and create an edginess and a cramped-ness to the relationship.” quote by Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/281/tara-brach-1898_being-together_if-there-s-a-demand-of-being-together-in_471197.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/281/tara-brach-1898_being-together_if-there-s-a-demand-of-being-together-in_471197.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/281/tara-brach-1898_being-together_if-there-s-a-demand-of-being-together-in_471197.png)

> “If there's a demand of being together in a certain way, those expectations and judgements take away from that space and create an edginess and a cramped-ness to the relationship.”

[Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

She notes that rigid expectations and judgments shrink relational space, creating tension and confinement.

**In simple terms:** Expectations limit relationship freedom.

Key Takeaway

Release judgments for healthier connections.

Themes

relationships expectations mindfulness psychological space

Mood

calm reflective

Type

psychological practical

When to use this quote

- couples therapy
- personal growth
- conflict resolution

Key Concepts

attachment theory communication

Questions to Reflect On

- How can you loosen expectations?
- What space does judgment take away?

A Different Perspective

Flexibility may be challenging to practice.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Being together](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-together/) [Demand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/demand/) [Edginess](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/edginess/) [Expectations](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/expectations/) [Judgement](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/judgement/) [Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship/) [Relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationships/) [Space](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/space/)

## Related quotes

> [Writing a novel is one of those modern rites of passage, I think, that lead us from an innocent world of contentment, drunkenness, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-g-ballard/writing-a-novel-is-one-of-those-modern-rites-of-passage-i-think-that/)

[J. G. Ballard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-g-ballard/)

> [Most people don't see the edginess in my work. They think it's all fantasy and whimsy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/niki-de-st-phalle/most-people-don-t-see-the-edginess-in-my-work-they-think-it-s-all/)

[Niki de St. Phalle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/niki-de-st-phalle/)

> [There is an edginess in my work that people don't always recognize.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-newhart/there-is-an-edginess-in-my-work-that-people-don-t-always-recognize/)

[Bob Newhart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-newhart/)

> [“I am not sure if we are numbed to the reality of rape, but here's the sad irony. While the word rape can add…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christine-stockton/i-am-not-sure-if-we-are-numbed-to-the-reality-of-rape-but-here-s-the/)

Christine Stockton

> [I think you can get a sort of intensity and an edginess offering nine stories in a book. Competing versions of things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colm-toibin/i-think-you-can-get-a-sort-of-intensity-and-an-edginess-offering-nine/)

[Colm Toibin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colm-toibin/)

> [Fighting positions, please, ladies...' 'That's debatable,' Halt said in an undertone to Will as they stood watching... 'The 'fighting' part or the 'ladies' part?'…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-flanagan/fighting-positions-please-ladies-that-s-debatable-halt-said-in-an/)

[John Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-flanagan/)

> [“At the edge you will always remember me, at the edge you will last be remembered, where sanity and insanity come together, for the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-liccione/at-the-edge-you-will-always-remember-me-at-the-edge-you-will-last-be/)

[Anthony Liccione](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-liccione/)

> [ He \[Daniel Craig\] is mysterious, and I think that that's the thing Bond has to exude, that kind of mysterious edge. He draws you… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gemma-arterton/he-daniel-craig-is-mysterious-and-i-think-that-that-s-the-thing-bond/)

[Gemma Arterton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gemma-arterton/)

> [What happened to fantasy for me is what also happened to rock and roll. It found a common denominator for making maximum money. As…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-moorcock/what-happened-to-fantasy-for-me-is-what-also-happened-to-rock-and/)

[Michael Moorcock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-moorcock/)

> [Coming off the back of the live album, there was a certain edginess and an almost punk energy that I've missed for a while.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-waite/coming-off-the-back-of-the-live-album-there-was-a-certain-edginess/)

[John Waite](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-waite/)

> [I'm a big fan of Lady Gaga. I think she's kinda what modeling is about in a way: Unique-ness, different-ness, edginess, quirkiness is actually…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tyra-banks/i-m-a-big-fan-of-lady-gaga-i-think-she-s-kinda-what-modeling-is-about/)

[Tyra Banks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tyra-banks/)

> [I don't want to do an edgy show, I didn't want bad language. I think edginess is the new hackiness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-galifianakis/i-don-t-want-to-do-an-edgy-show-i-didn-t-want-bad-language-i-think/)

[Zach Galifianakis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-galifianakis/)

> [Myspace was always a bit edgy. People identified it with edginess and music.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-birch/myspace-was-always-a-bit-edgy-people-identified-it-with-edginess-and/)

[Michael Birch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-birch/)

> [Underneath our ordinary lives, underneath all the talking we do, all the moving we do, all the thoughts in our minds, there's a fundamental…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/underneath-our-ordinary-lives-underneath-all-the-talking-we-do-all/)

[Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [Shutting people away, cooped up in cramped accommodation, is a recipe for frustration and despair. It is impossible for families in one-bedroom flats to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susanna-reid/shutting-people-away-cooped-up-in-cramped-accommodation-is-a-recipe/)

[Susanna Reid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susanna-reid/)

## More by Tara Brach

> [It is natural that our minds replay old stories, because that is our own mechanism for trying to work out unresolved problems. Yet rerunning…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/it-is-natural-that-our-minds-replay-old-stories-because-that-is-our/)

[Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/)

> [The great gift of a spiritual path is coming to trust that you can find a way to true refuge. You realize that you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/the-great-gift-of-a-spiritual-path-is-coming-to-trust-that-you-can/)

[Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/)

> [Sometimes the easiest way to appreciate ourselves is by looking through the eyes of someone who loves us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/sometimes-the-easiest-way-to-appreciate-ourselves-is-by-looking/)

[Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/)

> [By taking the time to explore charged memories in therapy we might uncover feelings that have been buried for decades.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/by-taking-the-time-to-explore-charged-memories-in-therapy-we-might/)

[Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/)

> [To me, bringing mindfulness-bas ed practices to students, teachers and parents is some of the most important work we can be doing. If we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/to-me-bringing-mindfulness-bas-ed-practices-to-students-teachers-and/)

[Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/)

> [The mistake we make is that when we're feeling another person is not treating us in the way that makes us feel secure and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/the-mistake-we-make-is-that-when-we-re-feeling-another-person-is-not/)

[Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/)

> [Emotions are the interaction of thoughts and of sensations in the body.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/emotions-are-the-interaction-of-thoughts-and-of-sensations-in-the-body/)

[Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/)

> [Our attitude in the face of life's challenges determines our suffering or our freedom.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/our-attitude-in-the-face-of-life-s-challenges-determines-our/)

[Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/)

> [Become a witness to your thoughts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/become-a-witness-to-your-thoughts/)

[Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/)

> [My prayer became 'May I find peace... May I love this life no matter what.' I was seeking an inner refuge, an experience of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/my-prayer-became-may-i-find-peace-may-i-love-this-life-no-matter-what/)

[Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/)

> [When we see the secret beauty of anyone, including ourselves, we see past our judgment and fear into the core of who we truly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/when-we-see-the-secret-beauty-of-anyone-including-ourselves-we-see/)

[Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/)

> [I think it's possible to have experiences of love without attachment, but I think part of our conditioning is to grasp at times, especially…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/i-think-it-s-possible-to-have-experiences-of-love-without-attachment/)

[Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/)

> [But this revolutionary act of treating ourselves tenderly can begin to undo the aversive messages of a lifetime.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/but-this-revolutionary-act-of-treating-ourselves-tenderly-can-begin/)

[Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/)

> [Stories about ourselves and about the world continually arise in our minds and shape our beliefs about reality.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/stories-about-ourselves-and-about-the-world-continually-arise-in-our/)

[Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/)

> [Discovering a richer quality of being-ness means to keep surrendering and letting go of resistance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/discovering-a-richer-quality-of-being-ness-means-to-keep-surrendering/)

[Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/)

[Explore all 200 Tara Brach quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/)

## More Being together quotes

> [The right to free speech is important but it isn't as important as 'we're all human beings together, let's find solutions together.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-brand/the-right-to-free-speech-is-important-but-it-isn-t-as-important-as-we/)

[Russell Brand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-brand/)

> [What I recognized is that you can't put it together. It's already together, and what you have to do is experience it being together.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/werner-erhard/what-i-recognized-is-that-you-can-t-put-it-together-it-s-already/)

[Werner Erhard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/werner-erhard/)

> [I have many friends that don't claim to be followers of Christ. As far as day-to-day friendship and being together at various functions, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/billy-graham/i-have-many-friends-that-don-t-claim-to-be-followers-of-christ-as-far/)

[Billy Graham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/billy-graham/)

> [Teaching, like any truly human activity, emerges from one's inwardness, for better or worse. As I teach I project the condition of my soul…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/parker-j-palmer/teaching-like-any-truly-human-activity-emerges-from-one-s-inwardness/)

[Parker J. Palmer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/parker-j-palmer/)

> [The highest use of the Web is getting the information and identifying the places and the possibility of being together physically.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/the-highest-use-of-the-web-is-getting-the-information-and-identifying/)

[Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/)

> [Being together, we harm nobody; being apart, we extinguish ourselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabitha-suzuma/being-together-we-harm-nobody-being-apart-we-extinguish-ourselves/)

[Tabitha Suzuma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabitha-suzuma/)

> [It is a catastrophe, all of this virtual being together. I think there are people who get hooked on the internet. If they need…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruth-westheimer/it-is-a-catastrophe-all-of-this-virtual-being-together-i-think-there/)

[Ruth Westheimer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruth-westheimer/)

> [At the end of the day it's about how much you can bear, how much you can endure. Being together, we harm nobody; being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabitha-suzuma/at-the-end-of-the-day-it-s-about-how-much-you-can-bear-how-much-you/)

[Tabitha Suzuma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabitha-suzuma/)

> [Over the years of courtship and being together, we realized that there was no value left for anything. People just want to know what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kareena-kapoor/over-the-years-of-courtship-and-being-together-we-realized-that-there/)

[Kareena Kapoor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kareena-kapoor/)

> [ With all the conceptual truths in the universe at His disposal \[Jesus\] did not give them something to think about together when He was… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-brown-taylor/with-all-the-conceptual-truths-in-the-universe-at-his-disposal-jesus/)

[Barbara Brown Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-brown-taylor/)

> [It's sad. There's a lot about this industry that a lot of people don't know about and don't find out about. There are a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trevor-mcnevan/it-s-sad-there-s-a-lot-about-this-industry-that-a-lot-of-people-don-t/)

[Trevor McNevan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/trevor-mcnevan/)

> [Only he who loves and is loved for his own sake can be happy, and what produces that happiness is not so much the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elfriede-jelinek/only-he-who-loves-and-is-loved-for-his-own-sake-can-be-happy-and-what/)

[Elfriede Jelinek](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elfriede-jelinek/)

> [When we contemplate the whole globe as one great dewdrop, striped and dotted with continents and islands, flying through space with other stars all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-muir/when-we-contemplate-the-whole-globe-as-one-great-dewdrop-striped-and/)

[John Muir](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-muir/)

> [My parents were divorced by the time I was even conscious - like, I don't remember them ever being together.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-cole-2/my-parents-were-divorced-by-the-time-i-was-even-conscious-like-i-don/)

[J. Cole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-cole-2/)

> [You're my best friend in the scene and together we can make sense of what's going on by being Together.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-de-maat/you-re-my-best-friend-in-the-scene-and-together-we-can-make-sense-of/)

[Martin de Maat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-de-maat/)

[Browse all 84 Being together quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-together/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "If there's a demand of being together in a certain way, those expectations and judgements take away from that space and create an edginess and a cramped-ness to the relationship.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Tara Brach"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/if-there-s-a-demand-of-being-together-in-a-certain-way-those/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Being together"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/if-there-s-a-demand-of-being-together-in-a-certain-way-those/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/281/tara-brach-1898_being-together_if-there-s-a-demand-of-being-together-in_471197.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/281/tara-brach-1898_being-together_if-there-s-a-demand-of-being-together-in_471197.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/281/tara-brach-1898_being-together_if-there-s-a-demand-of-being-together-in_471197.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“If there's a demand of being together in a certain way, those expectations and judgements take away from…” — Tara Brach",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Tara Brach",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "If there's a demand of being...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/if-there-s-a-demand-of-being-together-in-a-certain-way-those/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/if-there-s-a-demand-of-being-together-in-a-certain-way-those/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
