--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If she had hurt me, I could have forgiven…" description: "\"“If she had hurt me, I could have forgiven her without even having to think about it; but I couldn't forgive her for being hurt.”\" — Tana French" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1a/tana-french-1016_emotion_if-she-had-hurt-me-i-could-have-forgiven_1381703.png" --- # If she had hurt me, I could have forgiven her without even… ![“If she had hurt me, I could have forgiven her without even having to think about it; but I couldn't forgive her for being hurt.” quote by Tana French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1a/tana-french-1016_emotion_if-she-had-hurt-me-i-could-have-forgiven_1381703.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1a/tana-french-1016_emotion_if-she-had-hurt-me-i-could-have-forgiven_1381703.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1a/tana-french-1016_emotion_if-she-had-hurt-me-i-could-have-forgiven_1381703.png) > ““If she had hurt me, I could have forgiven her without even having to think about it; but I couldn't forgive her for being hurt.”” [Tana French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Forgiveness can be complex; we may forgive actions but not the suffering behind them. **In simple terms:** We often separate the act from the pain. Key Takeaway Recognize empathy when judging forgiveness. Themes forgiveness empathy pain Mood reflective somber Type philosophical literary When to use this quote - personal relationships - conflict resolution - therapy sessions Key Concepts psychology morality relationships Questions to Reflect On - Why is it harder to forgive the cause of pain? - Can empathy change our forgiveness? A Different Perspective Forgiveness may be hindered by unresolved trauma. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Couldn Forgive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/couldn-forgive-923397/) [Emotion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotion/) [Forgive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgive/) [Forgive Hurt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgive-hurt/) [Forgiven Having](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiven-having-4788213/) [Forgiveness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiveness/) [Hurt Forgiven](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hurt-forgiven-948171/) ## Related quotes > [“But did he know that I'd already forgiven him for having rejected me?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maryam-schonbeck/but-did-he-know-that-i-d-already-forgiven-him-for-having-rejected-me/) [Maryam Schonbeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maryam-schonbeck/) > [I couldn't forgive him or like him, but I saw that what he had done was, to him, entirely justified.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/i-couldn-t-forgive-him-or-like-him-but-i-saw-that-what-he-had-done/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [“Each memory, good and bad, was another invisible thread that bound them together...It was as simple and complicated as that. Love after children, after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/liane-moriarty/each-memory-good-and-bad-was-another-invisible-thread-that-bound-them-2/) [Liane Moriarty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/liane-moriarty/) > [SAYING SORRY WON'T ALWAYS MEAN, YOUR FAULT. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO SAY SORRY OR APOLOGIZE TO SOMEONE YOU HURT, BECAUSE EVEN IF YOU'RE FORGIVEN…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ying/saying-sorry-won-t-always-mean-your-fault-sometimes-you-have-to-say/) [Ying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ying/) > [I have come to realize how blessed I am. I cant believe I have made it this far in life. after all that I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nayely-saldana/i-have-come-to-realize-how-blessed-i-am-i-cant-believe-i-have-made-it/) [Nayely Saldana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nayely-saldana/) > [I have this theory: If you forgive someone, they can't hurt you anymore.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-have-this-theory-if-you-forgive-someone-they-can-t-hurt-you-anymore/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [God give me the strength to face this day, bless those that help and love me, help me to forgive those that hurt me,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nishan-panwar/god-give-me-the-strength-to-face-this-day-bless-those-that-help-and/) [Nishan Panwar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nishan-panwar/) > [When we freely forgive others who have hurt us, our angel brings us a special blessing of love from God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatoufey/when-we-freely-forgive-others-who-have-hurt-us-our-angel-brings-us-a/) [Ritu Ghatoufey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatoufey/) > [Don't make someone feeling as your toy, you'll regret for it, because its not easy to forgive someone who hurt their feeling.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/don-t-make-someone-feeling-as-your-toy-you-ll-regret-for-it-because/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“If you cannot forgive because of hurt inflicted by others, you will be unwilling to be vulnerable for fear of being hurt again. Because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walter-a-henrichsen/if-you-cannot-forgive-because-of-hurt-inflicted-by-others-you-will-be/) [Walter A. Henrichsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walter-a-henrichsen/) > [When you choose to forgive those who have hurt you, you take away their power.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brittany/when-you-choose-to-forgive-those-who-have-hurt-you-you-take-away/) [Brittany](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brittany/) > [It was a strange thing, to still be in love with your wife and to not know if you liked her. What would happen…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jodi-picoult/it-was-a-strange-thing-to-still-be-in-love-with-your-wife-and-to-not/) [Jodi Picoult](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jodi-picoult/) > [“I was infected head to toe. Resistant to any medicine, immune to anything he might do. In fact, I knew that even if the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-j-shen/i-was-infected-head-to-toe-resistant-to-any-medicine-immune-to/) [L.J. Shen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-j-shen/) > [I couldn’t forgive him or like him, but I saw that what he had done was, to him, entirely justified. It was all very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/i-couldn-t-forgive-him-or-like-him-but-i-saw-that-what-he-had-done-2/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [This time I wouldn't forget him, because I couldn't ever forgive him - for breaking my heart twice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/this-time-i-wouldn-t-forget-him-because-i-couldn-t-ever-forgive-him/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Tana French > [“...the solitude was intoxicating. On my first night there I lay on my back on the sticky carpet for hours, in the murky orange…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/the-solitude-was-intoxicating-on-my-first-night-there-i-lay-on-my/) [Tana French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/) > [“I remember this country back when I was growing up. We went to church, we ate family suppers around the table, and it would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/i-remember-this-country-back-when-i-was-growing-up-we-went-to-church/) [Tana French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/) > [“That house shimmered in my mind like some fairy fort that appeared for one day in a lifetime, tantalizing and charged, with those four…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/that-house-shimmered-in-my-mind-like-some-fairy-fort-that-appeared/) [Tana French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/) > [“It would take a while to occur to him that my rules had sweet fuck-all in common with his.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/it-would-take-a-while-to-occur-to-him-that-my-rules-had-sweet-fuck/) [Tana French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/) > [I love writing. I feel ridiculously lucky that this is what I get to do all day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/i-love-writing-i-feel-ridiculously-lucky-that-this-is-what-i-get-to/) [Tana French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/) > [“…out here in the real world, my man, you would be amazed how seldom murder has to break into people’s lives. Ninety-nine times out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/out-here-in-the-real-world-my-man-you-would-be-amazed-how-seldom/) [Tana French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/) > [“Before I could get my bearings he was on top of me and shoving my face down into the dirt. He was bigger and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/before-i-could-get-my-bearings-he-was-on-top-of-me-and-shoving-my/) [Tana French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/) > [We think of mortality so little these days... I thought of the stern Victorian determination to keep death in mind, the uncompromising tombstones. Remember,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/we-think-of-mortality-so-little-these-days-i-thought-of-the-stern/) [Tana French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/) > [I read a lot. I always have, but in those two years I gorged myself on books with a voluptuous, almost erotic gluttony. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/i-read-a-lot-i-always-have-but-in-those-two-years-i-gorged-myself-on/) [Tana French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/) > [“For ten years Dublin’s been changing faster than our minds can handle. The economic boom has given us too many people with helicopters and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/for-ten-years-dublin-s-been-changing-faster-than-our-minds-can-handle/) [Tana French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/) > [When we can't see a pattern, we fit pieces together until one takes shape, because we have to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/when-we-can-t-see-a-pattern-we-fit-pieces-together-until-one-takes/) [Tana French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/) > [“Stephen shrugged. “Yeah. Well. I said I would.” “Ah. Are we having issues?” “This feels sleazy.” “I promise I’ll respect you in the morning.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/stephen-shrugged-yeah-well-i-said-i-would-ah-are-we-having-issues/) [Tana French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/) > [“She hears all the voices from when she was little, soothing, strengthening: Don’t be scared, not of monsters, not of witches, not of big…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/she-hears-all-the-voices-from-when-she-was-little-soothing/) [Tana French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/) > [“Our relationship with truth is fundamental but cracked, refracting confusingly like fragmented glass.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/our-relationship-with-truth-is-fundamental-but-cracked-refracting/) [Tana French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/) > [My night stand is permanently jammed with books I want to read.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/my-night-stand-is-permanently-jammed-with-books-i-want-to-read/) [Tana French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/) [Explore all 303 Tana French quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/) ## More Emotion quotes > [It can sometimes make people fold into themselves and kind of run away, but I think in this case these characters are being forced…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-deschanel/it-can-sometimes-make-people-fold-into-themselves-and-kind-of-run/) [Emily Deschanel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-deschanel/) > [Every action that helps us manifest our divine nature more and more is good; every action that retards it is evil.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/swami-vivekananda/every-action-that-helps-us-manifest-our-divine-nature-more-and-more/) [Swami Vivekananda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/swami-vivekananda/) > [Of course I like you. It's because I like you I don't wanna be with you. It's a complicated emotion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marlin/of-course-i-like-you-it-s-because-i-like-you-i-don-t-wanna-be-with/) [Marlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marlin/) > [In discovering books, you became free to explore the full range of human motives, desires, secrets, and lies. All my life, people have scolded…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betsy-lerner/in-discovering-books-you-became-free-to-explore-the-full-range-of/) [Betsy Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betsy-lerner/) > [“Emotion as well as reason belongs to the very stuff of history.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beryl-smalley/emotion-as-well-as-reason-belongs-to-the-very-stuff-of-history/) [Beryl Smalley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beryl-smalley/) > [It definitely helps to have the acting experience going into singing, because when you're singing, you have to portray the emotion you were feeling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryan-newman/it-definitely-helps-to-have-the-acting-experience-going-into-singing/) [Ryan Newman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryan-newman/) > [It is not my intention to explain Turkey, its culture and its problems. My literature has a universal concern: I want to bring people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/orhan-pamuk/it-is-not-my-intention-to-explain-turkey-its-culture-and-its-problems/) [Orhan Pamuk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/orhan-pamuk/) > [For me, the term "psychotherapy" is limiting. It implies that we work with mind and emotions, but excludes the body and pays scant attention…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jed-diamond/for-me-the-term-psychotherapy-is-limiting-it-implies-that-we-work/) [Jed Diamond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jed-diamond/) > [People are disturbed not by things but by the view they take of them. They may forget what you said, but they will never…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-buechner/people-are-disturbed-not-by-things-but-by-the-view-they-take-of-them/) [Frederick Buechner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-buechner/) > [There cannot be any communication except through form. If there is no form, you cannot create emotion in the spectator.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-resnais/there-cannot-be-any-communication-except-through-form-if-there-is-no/) [Alain Resnais](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-resnais/) > [A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty - it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-einstein/a-knowledge-of-the-existence-of-something-we-cannot-penetrate-of-the/) [Albert Einstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-einstein/) > [ Music \[is\] the third rail of life. You grabbed it to shock yourself out of the dull drag of hours. To feel something. To… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-hill/music-is-the-third-rail-of-life-you-grabbed-it-to-shock-yourself-out/) [Joe Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-hill/) > [“What if each time you experienced an emotion, you acknowledged it, accepted it, and became curious about its message for you (instead of trying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/what-if-each-time-you-experienced-an-emotion-you-acknowledged-it/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [For war to man, like childbirth to women, is simplifying in its emotions and activities. All the real problems of life can be put…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pearl-s-buck/for-war-to-man-like-childbirth-to-women-is-simplifying-in-its/) [Pearl S. Buck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pearl-s-buck/) > [Many humanists have argued that happiness involves a combination of hedonism and creative moral development; that an exuberant life fuses excellence and enjoyment, meaning…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-kurtz/many-humanists-have-argued-that-happiness-involves-a-combination-of/) [Paul Kurtz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-kurtz/) [Browse all 7,204 Emotion quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotion/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“If she had hurt me, I could have forgiven her without even having to think about it; but I couldn't forgive her for being hurt.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tana French" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/if-she-had-hurt-me-i-could-have-forgiven-her-without-even-having-to/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Emotion" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/if-she-had-hurt-me-i-could-have-forgiven-her-without-even-having-to/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1a/tana-french-1016_emotion_if-she-had-hurt-me-i-could-have-forgiven_1381703.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1a/tana-french-1016_emotion_if-she-had-hurt-me-i-could-have-forgiven_1381703.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1a/tana-french-1016_emotion_if-she-had-hurt-me-i-could-have-forgiven_1381703.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If she had hurt me, I could have forgiven her without even having to think about it; but I couldn't forgive…” — Tana French", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Tana French", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tana-french/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“If she had hurt me, I...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/if-she-had-hurt-me-i-could-have-forgiven-her-without-even-having-to/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tana-french/if-she-had-hurt-me-i-could-have-forgiven-her-without-even-having-to/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```