--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: You have to be able to spend time alone…" description: "\"“You have to be able to spend time alone, to be able to not be defined by another person, but to define yourself. Yet, at the same time, don't shut out..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba1/tabatha-beshears-19610_define-yourself_you-have-to-be-able-to-spend-time-alone_468291.jpg" --- # You have to be able to spend time alone, to be able to not… ![“You have to be able to spend time alone, to be able to not be defined by another person, but to define yourself. Yet, at the same time, don't shut out people or experiences, let them in, and swallow them whole.” quote by Tabatha Beshears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba1/tabatha-beshears-19610_define-yourself_you-have-to-be-able-to-spend-time-alone_468291.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba1/tabatha-beshears-19610_define-yourself_you-have-to-be-able-to-spend-time-alone_468291.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba1/tabatha-beshears-19610_define-yourself_you-have-to-be-able-to-spend-time-alone_468291.jpg) > ““You have to be able to spend time alone, to be able to not be defined by another person, but to define yourself. Yet, at the same time, don't shut out people or experiences, let them in, and swallow them whole.”” [Tabatha Beshears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabatha-beshears/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Self‑definition requires solitary reflection yet openness to others; balance independence with connection. **In simple terms:** Know yourself but stay open. Key Takeaway Cultivate inner identity while embracing relationships. Themes self‑awareness relationships balance Mood reflective balanced Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - personal growth - teamwork - networking - mental health Key Concepts identity formation social integration Questions to Reflect On - How do you protect your core self while inviting others in? - What boundaries keep you healthy? A Different Perspective Too much isolation can lead to loneliness; too much openness may dilute self. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Define yourself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/define-yourself/) [Spend Time Alone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spend-time-alone/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Time alone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time-alone/) ## Related quotes > [“when you judge another person, you do not define them. You define yourself as someone who needs to judge others.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wayne-w-dyer/when-you-judge-another-person-you-do-not-define-them-you-define/) [Wayne W. Dyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wayne-w-dyer/) > [When you judge another person you do not define them. You merely define yourself as someone who needs to judge.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wayne-dyer/when-you-judge-another-person-you-do-not-define-them-you-merely/) [Wayne Dyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wayne-dyer/) > [“When I wasn’t in the barn garden, helping out, sorting seeds or checking hoses I’d spend time alone, usually in the bathroom adjacent to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-poeltl/when-i-wasn-t-in-the-barn-garden-helping-out-sorting-seeds-or/) [Michael Poeltl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-poeltl/) > [“Claire, I can’t spend time alone with Nikolai.  I’m so susceptible to him.  I want to jump him constantly.  Even stranger, I want piggyback…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shayne-mcclendon/claire-i-can-t-spend-time-alone-with-nikolai-i-m-so-susceptible-to/) [Shayne McClendon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shayne-mcclendon/) > [“Dear whoever is reading this, I wish I could find a way to take all of your sadness away and replace it with happiness.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-trunko/dear-whoever-is-reading-this-i-wish-i-could-find-a-way-to-take-all-of/) [Emily Trunko](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-trunko/) > [I think it's very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-think-it-s-very-healthy-to-spend-time-alone-you-need-to-know-how-to/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [ We \[with husband\] try and spend time alone, which is really hard to do. Of course, when you have kids they're like: "Why are… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julianne-moore/we-with-husband-try-and-spend-time-alone-which-is-really-hard-to-do/) [Julianne Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julianne-moore/) > [There is music in silence, and in silence one finds the truth. So if you seek the truth, spend time alone with God, in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-lars-zwerenz/there-is-music-in-silence-and-in-silence-one-finds-the-truth-so-if/) [John Lars Zwerenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-lars-zwerenz/) > [If you spend time alone in the wilderness, you get very attuned to living things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-dyson/if-you-spend-time-alone-in-the-wilderness-you-get-very-attuned-to/) [George Dyson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-dyson/) > [Sometimes you need to take a break from everyone and spend time alone, to experience, appreciate and love yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-tew/sometimes-you-need-to-take-a-break-from-everyone-and-spend-time-alone/) [Robert Tew](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-tew/) > [Spend time alone in areas of low population density, where you can feel the stillness. Go out into the desert or up into the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/spend-time-alone-in-areas-of-low-population-density-where-you-can/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [We can't underestimate the value of silence. We need to create ourselves, need to spend time alone. If you don't, you risk not knowing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jewel/we-can-t-underestimate-the-value-of-silence-we-need-to-create/) [Jewel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jewel/) > [“Yes, but Father," he wanted to say from the back seat of a rapidly filling bus, "you never told us how to spend time…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tomson-highway/yes-but-father-he-wanted-to-say-from-the-back-seat-of-a-rapidly/) [Tomson Highway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tomson-highway/) > [“Spend time alone and often, touch base with your soul.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikki-rowe/spend-time-alone-and-often-touch-base-with-your-soul/) [Nikki Rowe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikki-rowe/) > [Being close to my friends. I like to spend time alone as well, but the best time is with friends around when you can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chace-crawford/being-close-to-my-friends-i-like-to-spend-time-alone-as-well-but-the/) [Chace Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chace-crawford/) ## More by Tabatha Beshears > [“There were exceptions though. There are always exceptions.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabatha-beshears/there-were-exceptions-though-there-are-always-exceptions/) [Tabatha Beshears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabatha-beshears/) > [“I began the process of putting myself back together again.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabatha-beshears/i-began-the-process-of-putting-myself-back-together-again/) [Tabatha Beshears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabatha-beshears/) > [“I didn't want it to be something weird, but of course, with most things in my life, it became something weird.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabatha-beshears/i-didn-t-want-it-to-be-something-weird-but-of-course-with-most-things/) [Tabatha Beshears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabatha-beshears/) > [“There is something empowering about being gutted out with an ice pick until there is nothing but skin and bones left of your being.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabatha-beshears/there-is-something-empowering-about-being-gutted-out-with-an-ice-pick/) [Tabatha Beshears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabatha-beshears/) > [“Sometimes you just had to trust your instincts.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabatha-beshears/sometimes-you-just-had-to-trust-your-instincts/) [Tabatha Beshears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabatha-beshears/) > [“I found what I love to do. I found myself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabatha-beshears/i-found-what-i-love-to-do-i-found-myself/) [Tabatha Beshears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabatha-beshears/) > [“Like, I don't know, being in here, it's like a wake-up call. It's like, this could be you. You could be dead. But, you're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabatha-beshears/like-i-don-t-know-being-in-here-it-s-like-a-wake-up-call-it-s-like/) [Tabatha Beshears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabatha-beshears/) > [“People tended to drain me, and I needed my alone time to fill myself back up.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabatha-beshears/people-tended-to-drain-me-and-i-needed-my-alone-time-to-fill-myself/) [Tabatha Beshears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabatha-beshears/) > [“Try it. Try not talking bad about someone. Try only talking about the positive. Try only talking about things you love instead of things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabatha-beshears/try-it-try-not-talking-bad-about-someone-try-only-talking-about-the/) [Tabatha Beshears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabatha-beshears/) > [“You quit, I quit, right?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabatha-beshears/you-quit-i-quit-right/) [Tabatha Beshears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabatha-beshears/) > [“Even the strongest people break sometimes though. There are only so many times you can smash a bat into bone before the bone breaks.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabatha-beshears/even-the-strongest-people-break-sometimes-though-there-are-only-so/) [Tabatha Beshears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabatha-beshears/) > [“No matter how much you give up for someone, how much you sacrifice for someone, how much you give to someone, it will never…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabatha-beshears/no-matter-how-much-you-give-up-for-someone-how-much-you-sacrifice-for/) [Tabatha Beshears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabatha-beshears/) > [“I'm always missing something. I'm missing something, or someplace, or someone. Life was this constant string of missing.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabatha-beshears/i-m-always-missing-something-i-m-missing-something-or-someplace-or/) [Tabatha Beshears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabatha-beshears/) > [“I'll see you when I see you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabatha-beshears/i-ll-see-you-when-i-see-you/) [Tabatha Beshears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabatha-beshears/) > [“But, there are some people, no matter how much you never would want to be with them again, that will always hold a place…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabatha-beshears/but-there-are-some-people-no-matter-how-much-you-never-would-want-to/) [Tabatha Beshears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabatha-beshears/) [Explore all 32 Tabatha Beshears quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabatha-beshears/) ## More Define yourself quotes > [Be willing to redefine yourself every day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/be-willing-to-redefine-yourself-every-day/) [Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/) > [When we're growing up and being teenagers, oftentimes you try so hard to define yourself. You try to create an image of yourself because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amandla-stenberg/when-we-re-growing-up-and-being-teenagers-oftentimes-you-try-so-hard/) [Amandla Stenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amandla-stenberg/) > [Your relationship with your husband should be an important part of your private life, but publicly you should be able to define yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/natalie-portman/your-relationship-with-your-husband-should-be-an-important-part-of/) [Natalie Portman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/natalie-portman/) > [Whenever you interact with people,don't be there primarily as a function or a role,But as a Field of conscious Presence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eckhart-tolle/whenever-you-interact-with-people-don-t-be-there-primarily-as-a/) [Eckhart Tolle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eckhart-tolle/) > [Define yourself. Never give anyone any chance to define you by their definitions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-parsai/define-yourself-never-give-anyone-any-chance-to-define-you-by-their/) [Vikrant Parsai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-parsai/) > [“you were whole before him, you are still whole without him, do not define yourself by him, define yourself by yourself”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adeline-whitmore/you-were-whole-before-him-you-are-still-whole-without-him-do-not/) Adeline Whitmore > [Others do not define you - you define yourself through your words and actions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-handel/others-do-not-define-you-you-define-yourself-through-your-words-and/) [Karen Handel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-handel/) > [“My recommendation: don’t be special; don’t be unique. Redefine your metrics in mundane and broad ways. Choose to measure yourself not as a rising…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-manson/my-recommendation-don-t-be-special-don-t-be-unique-redefine-your/) [Mark Manson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-manson/) > [More Than' means refusing to define yourself according to what society dictates, or everyone around you thinks you should do or be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maverick-carter/more-than-means-refusing-to-define-yourself-according-to-what-society/) [Maverick Carter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maverick-carter/) > [“Never be bullied into silence, never be allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/never-be-bullied-into-silence-never-be-allow-yourself-to-be-made-a/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [It's how you define yourself. It's not Nirvana or Pearl Jam: it's, 'Do you watch 'Portlandia' or 'Amy Schumer'?' It relates to a specific…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-krisel/it-s-how-you-define-yourself-it-s-not-nirvana-or-pearl-jam-it-s-do/) [Jonathan Krisel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-krisel/) > [“Dress yourself to define yourself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debasish-mridha/dress-yourself-to-define-yourself/) [Debasish Mridha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debasish-mridha/) > [Dont let others define you as who you are, you define yourself instead.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/unkown/dont-let-others-define-you-as-who-you-are-you-define-yourself-instead/) Unkown > [Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-watts/trying-to-define-yourself-is-like-trying-to-bite-your-own-teeth/) [Alan Watts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-watts/) > [For somebody who's never run for office before, Donald Trump understands that old axiom, "Define yourself before you're defined."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kellyanne-conway/for-somebody-who-s-never-run-for-office-before-donald-trump/) [Kellyanne Conway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kellyanne-conway/) [Browse all 185 Define yourself quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/define-yourself/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“You have to be able to spend time alone, to be able to not be defined by another person, but to define yourself. 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