--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Usually, if we hate, it is the shadow of…" description: "\"Usually, if we hate, it is the shadow of the person that we hate, rather than the substance. We may hate a person because he reminds us of someone we f..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/sydney-j-harris-1578_attitude_usually-if-we-hate-it-is-the-shadow-of-t_1172460.png" --- # Usually, if we hate, it is the shadow of the person that… ![“Usually, if we hate, it is the shadow of the person that we hate, rather than the substance. We may hate a person because he reminds us of someone we feared and disliked when younger; or because we see in him some gross caricature of what we find repugnant in ourself; or because he symbolizes an…” quote by Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/sydney-j-harris-1578_attitude_usually-if-we-hate-it-is-the-shadow-of-t_1172460.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/sydney-j-harris-1578_attitude_usually-if-we-hate-it-is-the-shadow-of-t_1172460.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/sydney-j-harris-1578_attitude_usually-if-we-hate-it-is-the-shadow-of-t_1172460.png) > “Usually, if we hate, it is the shadow of the person that we hate, rather than the substance. We may hate a person because he reminds us of someone we feared and disliked when younger; or because we see in him some gross caricature of what we find repugnant in ourself; or because he symbolizes an attitude that seems to threaten us.” [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Hate often reflects our own fears and self‑disgust projected onto others, not the person’s true nature. **In simple terms:** We hate what we see in ourselves. Key Takeaway Recognize self‑reflection in feelings of hatred. Themes psychology self-awareness empathy conflict Mood introspective thoughtful Type philosophical psychological When to use this quote - Therapy - conflict resolution - self‑growth - education - media literacy Key Concepts Projection shadow self personal bias Questions to Reflect On - What parts of yourself might you be projecting onto others? - How can you differentiate between genuine criticism and projection? A Different Perspective Self‑reflection can be uncomfortable and may not fully explain all hatred. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Attitude](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attitude/) [Caricatures](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/caricatures/) [Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gross/) [Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate/) [Hate Person](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate-person/) [Hatred](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hatred/) [May](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/may/) [Person Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/person-hate/) [Persons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/persons/) [Shadow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shadow/) [Substance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/substance/) [Substance Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/substance-hate-3404185/) [Usually Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/usually-hate-722867/) ## Related quotes > [When we hate a person, what we hate in his image is something inside ourselves. Whatever isn't inside us can't excite us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hermann-hesse/when-we-hate-a-person-what-we-hate-in-his-image-is-something-inside/) [Hermann Hesse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hermann-hesse/) > [I hate it when other people hate the person I hate!!!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sangfroid-stalker/i-hate-it-when-other-people-hate-the-person-i-hate/) [SangFroid Stalker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sangfroid-stalker/) > [Sometimes I feel like hating ma life.. but then, I realise... Its not the life I should hate... But the person who made me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rameez-raza/sometimes-i-feel-like-hating-ma-life-but-then-i-realise-its-not-the/) [Rameez Raza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rameez-raza/) > [If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us...Throughout life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-you-hate-a-person-you-hate-something-in-him-that-is-part-of-2/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Growing up in a home of abuse, you struggle with the notion that you can love a person you hate, or hate a person…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trevor-noah/growing-up-in-a-home-of-abuse-you-struggle-with-the-notion-that-you/) [Trevor Noah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/trevor-noah/) > [If you hate a person,you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part ourselves doesn't disturb us. ;)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hermann-hesse/if-you-hate-a-person-you-hate-something-in-him-that-is-part-of/) [Hermann Hesse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hermann-hesse/) > [I usually hate most of my work: probably at least more than half of it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melina-matsoukas/i-usually-hate-most-of-my-work-probably-at-least-more-than-half-of-it/) [Melina Matsoukas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melina-matsoukas/) > [In genre movies, you usually not only hate the characters, you sometimes hate them so much that you hate the actors playing them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bobcat-goldthwait/in-genre-movies-you-usually-not-only-hate-the-characters-you/) [Bobcat Goldthwait](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bobcat-goldthwait/) > [“Usually we hate things or people with which we have some emotional involvement.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriette-arnow/usually-we-hate-things-or-people-with-which-we-have-some-emotional/) [Harriette Arnow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriette-arnow/) > [I usually hate going around and doing press. It sort of stresses me out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-browning/i-usually-hate-going-around-and-doing-press-it-sort-of-stresses-me-out/) [Emily Browning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-browning/) > [What the ordinary person means by a 'miracle' is some gross distortion or suspension of the laws of nature... but life itself strikes him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/what-the-ordinary-person-means-by-a-miracle-is-some-gross-distortion/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [The desire to kill is like the desire to attack another with a red hot iron. I have to pick up the incandescent metal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-merton/the-desire-to-kill-is-like-the-desire-to-attack-another-with-a-red/) [Thomas Merton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-merton/) > [“I figured something out. You can't hold onto hate forever. It won't do a thing to the person you hate, but it'll poison you,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-riordan/i-figured-something-out-you-can-t-hold-onto-hate-forever-it-won-t-do/) [Rick Riordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-riordan/) > [I love and if someone I love is hurt I'll kill the attacker and no one else, that is love. I hate and if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-love-and-if-someone-i-love-is-hurt-i-ll-kill-the-attacker-and-no/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [We all have that one person we hate but constantly look at their facebook profile.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/punkinhead-abhishek/we-all-have-that-one-person-we-hate-but-constantly-look-at-their/) [Punkinhead Abhishek](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/punkinhead-abhishek/) ## More by Sydney J. Harris > [This is a lesson mankind has not yet learned. We identify, and stratify, and treat persons largely on the basis of their accidental (physical)…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/this-is-a-lesson-mankind-has-not-yet-learned-we-identify-and-stratify/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Character is something you forge for yourself; temperament is something you are born with and can only slightly modify.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/character-is-something-you-forge-for-yourself-temperament-is/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Middle Age is that perplexing time of life when we hear two voices calling us, one saying, 'Why not?' and the other, 'Why bother?'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/middle-age-is-that-perplexing-time-of-life-when-we-hear-two-voices/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [The profound immoralities of our time are cruelty, indifference, injustice and the use of others as means rather than ends in themselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/the-profound-immoralities-of-our-time-are-cruelty-indifference/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Marriages we regard as the happiest are those in which each of the partners believes he or she got the best of it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/marriages-we-regard-as-the-happiest-are-those-in-which-each-of-the/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [“...it calls for deciding things on their own merit, not because you read it or were told it or grew up believing it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/it-calls-for-deciding-things-on-their-own-merit-not-because-you-read/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Ignorance per se is not nearly as dangerous as ignorance of ignorance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/ignorance-per-se-is-not-nearly-as-dangerous-as-ignorance-of-ignorance/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Patriotism is proud of a country's virtues and eager to correct its deficiencies; it also acknowledges the legitimate patriotism of other countries, with their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/patriotism-is-proud-of-a-country-s-virtues-and-eager-to-correct-its/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, his is also one who is permanently disappointed in the future.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/a-cynic-is-not-merely-one-who-reads-bitter-lessons-from-the-past-his/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Time is love, above all else. It is the most precious commodity in the world and should be lavished on those we care most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/time-is-love-above-all-else-it-is-the-most-precious-commodity-in-the/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Just about the only interruption we don't object to is applause.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/just-about-the-only-interruption-we-don-t-object-to-is-applause/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [“The cynic is goodhearted beneath his facade, whereas the sentimentalist is flint-hearted beneath his.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/the-cynic-is-goodhearted-beneath-his-facade-whereas-the/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/any-philosophy-that-can-be-put-in-a-nutshell-belongs-there/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [“Like all persecuted minority groups, they strike back by forming cabals, by “taking over” certain spheres of activity (in the arts, for instance), and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/like-all-persecuted-minority-groups-they-strike-back-by-forming/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Intolerance is the most socially acceptable form of egotism, for it permits us to assume superiority without personal boasting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/intolerance-is-the-most-socially-acceptable-form-of-egotism-for-it/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) [Explore all 226 Sydney J. Harris quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) ## More Attitude quotes > [“WE CAN'T ALWAYS CONTROL OUR CIRCUMSTANCES BUT WE CAN CONTROL OUR ATTITUDE. WE MUST BE MORE CONCERNED WITH WHAT WE DO WITH WHAT HAPPENS…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marvin-j-ashton/we-can-t-always-control-our-circumstances-but-we-can-control-our/) [MARVIN J. ASHTON](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marvin-j-ashton/) > [It's not the method, it's the mindset.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-gilbert/it-s-not-the-method-it-s-the-mindset/) [Andy Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-gilbert/) > [The vision of the left, full of envy and resentment, takes its worst toll on those at the bottom - whether black or white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-vision-of-the-left-full-of-envy-and-resentment-takes-its-worst/) [Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/) > [Changes before your eyes, things you can do and things you can't. My attitude is always let it keep rolling.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terrence-malick/changes-before-your-eyes-things-you-can-do-and-things-you-can-t-my/) [Terrence Malick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terrence-malick/) > [Vow to be valiant. Resolve to be radiant. Determine to be dynamic. Strive to be sincere. Aspire to be attuned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-arthur-ward/vow-to-be-valiant-resolve-to-be-radiant-determine-to-be-dynamic/) [William Arthur Ward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-arthur-ward/) > [Don't judge me because I'm stupid. Don't judge me because I'm, mean. Don't judge me because I'm weird. Don't judge me for mistakes. Because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isaiah-harden-me/don-t-judge-me-because-i-m-stupid-don-t-judge-me-because-i-m-mean-don/) [Isaiah Harden (Me](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isaiah-harden-me/) > [Your feelings (mood) dictate your thought, your thought determines your attitude (reactions) and your attitude describes your lifestyle, so: be careful how you feel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheye-hassan/your-feelings-mood-dictate-your-thought-your-thought-determines-your/) [Sheye Hassan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheye-hassan/) > [Success will come when the societal attitude changes and not a single woman in America asks herself the question 'What did I do?'.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-biden/success-will-come-when-the-societal-attitude-changes-and-not-a-single/) [Joe Biden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-biden/) > [“Good Seeds! Gratitude is the Greatest Attitude that has no Substitute.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernard-kelvin-clive/good-seeds-gratitude-is-the-greatest-attitude-that-has-no-substitute/) [Bernard Kelvin Clive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernard-kelvin-clive/) > [Jeff Chu's pilgrimage across America to discover his own place as a gay man in the Christian church as well as attitudes about being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-freitas/jeff-chu-s-pilgrimage-across-america-to-discover-his-own-place-as-a/) [Donna Freitas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-freitas/) > [One genuine reason to feel jealous of my parents:-) I will never ever have a kid as awesome as their's...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/one-genuine-reason-to-feel-jealous-of-my-parents-i-will-never-ever/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I'm optimistic Hong Kong will achieve universal suffrage - no matter the attitude of Beijing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joshua-wong/i-m-optimistic-hong-kong-will-achieve-universal-suffrage-no-matter/) [Joshua Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joshua-wong/) > [My attitude it that you don't give in.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-taylor/my-attitude-it-that-you-don-t-give-in/) [Phil Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-taylor/) > [Transparency pertains to impartial behavior, implies openness, communication, and accountability. Inculcate transparency in attitude and experience a life free of controversy and blame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dr-anil-kr-sinha/transparency-pertains-to-impartial-behavior-implies-openness/) [Dr Anil Kr Sinha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dr-anil-kr-sinha/) > [And if the mind thinks with a believing attitude one can do amazing things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/norman-vincent-peale/and-if-the-mind-thinks-with-a-believing-attitude-one-can-do-amazing/) [Norman Vincent Peale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/norman-vincent-peale/) [Browse all 9,543 Attitude quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attitude/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Usually, if we hate, it is the shadow of the person that we hate, rather than the substance. 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