--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: By the time a man asks you for advice, he…" description: "\"By the time a man asks you for advice, he has generally made up his mind what he wants to do, and is looking for confirmation rather than counseling.\" ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c9/sydney-j-harris-1578_advice_by-the-time-a-man-asks-you-for-advice-he_1136337.png" --- # By the time a man asks you for advice, he has generally… ![“By the time a man asks you for advice, he has generally made up his mind what he wants to do, and is looking for confirmation rather than counseling.” quote by Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c9/sydney-j-harris-1578_advice_by-the-time-a-man-asks-you-for-advice-he_1136337.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c9/sydney-j-harris-1578_advice_by-the-time-a-man-asks-you-for-advice-he_1136337.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c9/sydney-j-harris-1578_advice_by-the-time-a-man-asks-you-for-advice-he_1136337.png) > “By the time a man asks you for advice, he has generally made up his mind what he wants to do, and is looking for confirmation rather than counseling.” [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People often seek validation for decisions they have already made rather than genuine guidance. **In simple terms:** Advice is often a search for affirmation. Key Takeaway Seek honest feedback, not just affirmation. Themes decisionmaking validation communication Mood reflective thoughtful Type advice psychological When to use this quote - personal relationships - career choices - conflict resolution Key Concepts psychology confirmation bias Questions to Reflect On - Do you ask for advice to be heard or to be guided? - How can you offer genuine help without feeding bias? A Different Perspective People may resist true counsel if they only want reassurance. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Advice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/advice/) [Counseling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/counseling/) [Men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/) [Mind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mind/) [Psychology](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychology/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) ## Related quotes > [“A man who asks for advice is either indulging in the pretence of consideration or too weak to know his own mind.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-ryan/a-man-who-asks-for-advice-is-either-indulging-in-the-pretence-of/) [Anthony Ryan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-ryan/) > [When a man wants your advice he generally wants your praise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lord-chesterfield/when-a-man-wants-your-advice-he-generally-wants-your-praise/) [Lord Chesterfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lord-chesterfield/) > [Whenever a man seeks your advice he generally seeks your praise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lord-chesterfield/whenever-a-man-seeks-your-advice-he-generally-seeks-your-praise/) [Lord Chesterfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lord-chesterfield/) > [I lay very little stress either upon asking or giving advice. Generally speaking, they who ask advice know what they wish to do, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wilhelm-von-humboldt/i-lay-very-little-stress-either-upon-asking-or-giving-advice/) [Wilhelm von Humboldt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wilhelm-von-humboldt/) > [Advice is a peculiar commodity. Those who have the capacity to give good advice generally have too much sense to waste their time trying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-h-mcmaster/advice-is-a-peculiar-commodity-those-who-have-the-capacity-to-give/) William H. McMaster > [Every time a young girl comes in and asks me for advice, if you start your conversation with, 'How hard is it as a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tamron-hall/every-time-a-young-girl-comes-in-and-asks-me-for-advice-if-you-start/) [Tamron Hall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tamron-hall/) > [Whenever a young comic asks me for advice I only have two things to say. One is to try and do what you think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sean-lock/whenever-a-young-comic-asks-me-for-advice-i-only-have-two-things-to/) [Sean Lock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sean-lock/) > [When a man asks your advice, he usually tells you just how he expects you to decide.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-w-howe/when-a-man-asks-your-advice-he-usually-tells-you-just-how-he-expects/) [E. W. Howe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-w-howe/) > [I'm happy to keep doing science and being a mentor to anyone who asks for advice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mildred-dresselhaus/i-m-happy-to-keep-doing-science-and-being-a-mentor-to-anyone-who-asks/) [Mildred Dresselhaus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mildred-dresselhaus/) > [The thing I try to preach the most when anybody asks me for advice - I say just be a good person first and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-gargano/the-thing-i-try-to-preach-the-most-when-anybody-asks-me-for-advice-i/) [Johnny Gargano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-gargano/) > [Askhole A person that constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wandini/askhole-a-person-that-constantly-asks-for-your-advice-yet-always-does/) [Wandini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wandini/) > [A true Leader asks advice, when he has time to think; but he never asks advice in a crisis. He acts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/a-true-leader-asks-advice-when-he-has-time-to-think-but-he-never-asks/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [If somebody comes to me and asks advice or for a criticism, I have no issue giving it to them because at the end…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/montel-vontavious-porter/if-somebody-comes-to-me-and-asks-advice-or-for-a-criticism-i-have-no/) [Montel Vontavious Porter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/montel-vontavious-porter/) > [The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute, the man who does not ask is a fool for life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/confucius/the-man-who-asks-a-question-is-a-fool-for-a-minute-the-man-who-does/) [Confucius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/confucius/) > [A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?" Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danish/a-man-asks-a-trainer-in-the-gym-i-want-2-impress-that-beautiful-girl/) [Danish](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danish/) ## More by Sydney J. Harris > [This is a lesson mankind has not yet learned. We identify, and stratify, and treat persons largely on the basis of their accidental (physical)…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/this-is-a-lesson-mankind-has-not-yet-learned-we-identify-and-stratify/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Character is something you forge for yourself; temperament is something you are born with and can only slightly modify.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/character-is-something-you-forge-for-yourself-temperament-is/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Middle Age is that perplexing time of life when we hear two voices calling us, one saying, 'Why not?' and the other, 'Why bother?'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/middle-age-is-that-perplexing-time-of-life-when-we-hear-two-voices/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [The profound immoralities of our time are cruelty, indifference, injustice and the use of others as means rather than ends in themselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/the-profound-immoralities-of-our-time-are-cruelty-indifference/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Marriages we regard as the happiest are those in which each of the partners believes he or she got the best of it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/marriages-we-regard-as-the-happiest-are-those-in-which-each-of-the/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [“...it calls for deciding things on their own merit, not because you read it or were told it or grew up believing it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/it-calls-for-deciding-things-on-their-own-merit-not-because-you-read/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Ignorance per se is not nearly as dangerous as ignorance of ignorance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/ignorance-per-se-is-not-nearly-as-dangerous-as-ignorance-of-ignorance/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Patriotism is proud of a country's virtues and eager to correct its deficiencies; it also acknowledges the legitimate patriotism of other countries, with their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/patriotism-is-proud-of-a-country-s-virtues-and-eager-to-correct-its/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, his is also one who is permanently disappointed in the future.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/a-cynic-is-not-merely-one-who-reads-bitter-lessons-from-the-past-his/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Time is love, above all else. It is the most precious commodity in the world and should be lavished on those we care most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/time-is-love-above-all-else-it-is-the-most-precious-commodity-in-the/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Just about the only interruption we don't object to is applause.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/just-about-the-only-interruption-we-don-t-object-to-is-applause/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [“The cynic is goodhearted beneath his facade, whereas the sentimentalist is flint-hearted beneath his.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/the-cynic-is-goodhearted-beneath-his-facade-whereas-the/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/any-philosophy-that-can-be-put-in-a-nutshell-belongs-there/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [“Like all persecuted minority groups, they strike back by forming cabals, by “taking over” certain spheres of activity (in the arts, for instance), and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/like-all-persecuted-minority-groups-they-strike-back-by-forming/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) > [Intolerance is the most socially acceptable form of egotism, for it permits us to assume superiority without personal boasting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sydney-j-harris/intolerance-is-the-most-socially-acceptable-form-of-egotism-for-it/) [Sydney J. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) [Explore all 226 Sydney J. Harris quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sydney-j-harris/) ## More Advice quotes > [The sensible person is always serious about sensible advice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mak-786/the-sensible-person-is-always-serious-about-sensible-advice/) Mak\_786 > [I ask for tips, for advice. What I have also learnt is that I need to do things that are good for me. In…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthijs-de-ligt/i-ask-for-tips-for-advice-what-i-have-also-learnt-is-that-i-need-to/) [Matthijs de Ligt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthijs-de-ligt/) > [Don't get too attached to someone you know you can't be together with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anurag-prakash-ray/don-t-get-too-attached-to-someone-you-know-you-can-t-be-together-with/) [Anurag Prakash Ray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anurag-prakash-ray/) > [A low-minded person should not be given good advice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chanakya/a-low-minded-person-should-not-be-given-good-advice/) [Chanakya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chanakya/) > [The worst advice? 'Don't listen to the critics.' I think that you really ought to listen to the critics, because sometimes they're telling you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/the-worst-advice-don-t-listen-to-the-critics-i-think-that-you-really/) [Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/) > [When I was in my twenties and just so sexually prolific, the first time I went to Machu Picchu, this guy, a spiritual teacher,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-harrelson/when-i-was-in-my-twenties-and-just-so-sexually-prolific-the-first/) [Woody Harrelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-harrelson/) > [The best way to succeed in this world is to act on the advice you give to others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/napoleon-hill/the-best-way-to-succeed-in-this-world-is-to-act-on-the-advice-you/) [Napoleon Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/napoleon-hill/) > [Time is priceless. You have it, but you don't own it. You spend it, but you can't keep it. And once it's gone, there's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/time-is-priceless-you-have-it-but-you-don-t-own-it-you-spend-it-but/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [You don't need to take a persons advice to make him feel good, just ask him for it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurence-j-peter/you-don-t-need-to-take-a-persons-advice-to-make-him-feel-good-just/) [Laurence J. Peter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurence-j-peter/) > [Some of the things that we hold onto the most, are the things that we need to let go of.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryaj-ablando-catayas/some-of-the-things-that-we-hold-onto-the-most-are-the-things-that-we/) [Ryaj Ablando Catayas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryaj-ablando-catayas/) > [“If your clothes are enough to drive would-be friends away, they're not the kind of friends you want." Typical mother advice. Sweet, honest, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aprilynne-pike/if-your-clothes-are-enough-to-drive-would-be-friends-away-they-re-not/) [Aprilynne Pike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aprilynne-pike/) > [“My kingdom not for a horse, but for a good piece of advice!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/my-kingdom-not-for-a-horse-but-for-a-good-piece-of-advice/) [Mehmet Murat ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/) > [I always advise people not to act upon the advice that I give them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-parsai/i-always-advise-people-not-to-act-upon-the-advice-that-i-give-them/) [Vikrant Parsai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-parsai/) > [ \[A\]s you partake of the world's bill of fare, that's darned good advice to follow. Do a lot of spitting out the hot air.… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dr-seuss/a-s-you-partake-of-the-world-s-bill-of-fare-that-s-darned-good-advice/) [Dr. Seuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dr-seuss/) > [My relationship with Ibrahimovic was completely neutral. He is not the type of player to approach the younger players and give them advice. He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kingsley-coman/my-relationship-with-ibrahimovic-was-completely-neutral-he-is-not-the/) [Kingsley Coman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kingsley-coman/) [Browse all 8,535 Advice quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/advice/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "By the time a man asks you for advice, he has generally made up his mind what he wants to do, and is looking for confirmation rather than counseling.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Sydney J. 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