--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: My therapist would later explain to me…" description: "\"“My therapist would later explain to me that “water seeks its own level” and that your partner’s flaws and issues usually go hand in hand with your own..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c0c/susan-j-elliott-29626_dance_my-therapist-would-later-explain-to-me-t_668622.jpg" --- # My therapist would later explain to me that “water seeks… ![“My therapist would later explain to me that “water seeks its own level” and that your partner’s flaws and issues usually go hand in hand with your own. A person chooses a partner with a similar degree of “brokenness” and does a dance of dysfunction where they both know the steps. Therefore, one…” quote by Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c0c/susan-j-elliott-29626_dance_my-therapist-would-later-explain-to-me-t_668622.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c0c/susan-j-elliott-29626_dance_my-therapist-would-later-explain-to-me-t_668622.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c0c/susan-j-elliott-29626_dance_my-therapist-would-later-explain-to-me-t_668622.jpg) > ““My therapist would later explain to me that “water seeks its own level” and that your partner’s flaws and issues usually go hand in hand with your own. A person chooses a partner with a similar degree of “brokenness” and does a dance of dysfunction where they both know the steps. Therefore, one person cannot be so much healthier than the other. Healthy people do not dance with unhealthy people.”” [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People tend to pair with partners who mirror their own emotional wounds, creating a mutual pattern of dysfunction that prevents either from being truly healthy. **In simple terms:** We attract partners who reflect our own brokenness, leading to unhealthy relationships. Key Takeaway Seek partners who support growth, not repeat old wounds. Themes relationships self-awareness growth boundaries Mood reflective cautious Type advice psychological When to use this quote - dating - therapy - personal development - relationship counseling Key Concepts attachment theory emotional mirroring codependency Questions to Reflect On - What patterns do you repeat in relationships? - How can you break the cycle of mirroring brokenness? A Different Perspective Even healthy individuals can fall into dysfunctional patterns if they ignore self‑work. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Chooses Partner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/chooses-partner-5313261/) [Dance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dance/) [Dance Unhealthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dance-unhealthy-3757228/) [Hand in hand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hand-in-hand/) [Health](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/health/) [Healthy People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/healthy-people-298400/) [Partner Flaws](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/partner-flaws-5313260/) [Person Healthier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/person-healthier-3420761/) [Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship/) [Water Seeks Its Own Level](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/water-seeks-its-own-level-213356/) ## Related quotes > [“A person chooses a partner with a similar degree of “brokenness” and does a dance of dysfunction where they both know the steps. Therefore,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-elliott/a-person-chooses-a-partner-with-a-similar-degree-of-brokenness-and/) [Susan Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-elliott/) > [“Learning that “water seeks its own level,” I was able to understand what issues needed attention by observing the people I was attracting and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/learning-that-water-seeks-its-own-level-i-was-able-to-understand-what/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [As flawed as you might be, as out of place as you sometimes feel, and as lacking as you believe you are, you dont…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melchor-lim/as-flawed-as-you-might-be-as-out-of-place-as-you-sometimes-feel-and/) [Melchor Lim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melchor-lim/) > [Our thoughts really do create our lives. They've done a lot of research showing if you're an optimistic, positive person you will be a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alana-stewart/our-thoughts-really-do-create-our-lives-they-ve-done-a-lot-of/) [Alana Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alana-stewart/) > [I think water seeks its own level, that we go through challenges to become better. And now more than ever, it's good to look…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lynn-whitfield/i-think-water-seeks-its-own-level-that-we-go-through-challenges-to/) [Lynn Whitfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lynn-whitfield/) > [Water seeks its own level and water rises collectively](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julia-cameron/water-seeks-its-own-level-and-water-rises-collectively/) [Julia Cameron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julia-cameron/) > [Water seeks its own level. Look at them. The Tigris, the Euphrates, the Mississippi, the Amazon, the Yangtze. The world's great rivers. And every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-mcghee/water-seeks-its-own-level-look-at-them-the-tigris-the-euphrates-the/) [Alison McGhee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-mcghee/) > [You don't really get to pick and chose what you would like to be doing. But I've been very fortunate, and I think water…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-paxton/you-don-t-really-get-to-pick-and-chose-what-you-would-like-to-be/) [Bill Paxton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-paxton/) > [Healthy people have a natural skill of avoiding feverish eyes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-camus/healthy-people-have-a-natural-skill-of-avoiding-feverish-eyes/) [Albert Camus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-camus/) > [“Healthy people don't think and act the way they do because they're healthy. They're healthy because they think and act the way they do.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darrin-wiggins/healthy-people-don-t-think-and-act-the-way-they-do-because-they-re/) [Darrin Wiggins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darrin-wiggins/) > [If you are going to go to the trouble of choosing healthy food for your plate, shouldn't you also choose healthy people for your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-you-are-going-to-go-to-the-trouble-of-choosing-healthy-food-for/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Money will not change how healthy you are or how many people love you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-buffett/money-will-not-change-how-healthy-you-are-or-how-many-people-love-you/) [Warren Buffett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-buffett/) > [Healthy people are invalids who don't know it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jules-romains/healthy-people-are-invalids-who-don-t-know-it/) [Jules Romains](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jules-romains/) > [Our starting point is not the individual: We do not subscribe to the view that one should feed the hungry, give drink to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-goebbels/our-starting-point-is-not-the-individual-we-do-not-subscribe-to-the/) [Joseph Goebbels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-goebbels/) > [“The ill or impaired may, in the sense of fulfilling life, be far more free than healthy people.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-w-frank/the-ill-or-impaired-may-in-the-sense-of-fulfilling-life-be-far-more/) [Arthur W. Frank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-w-frank/) ## More by Susan J. Elliott > [“Goal setting works best when you have long-term goals and short-term goals in different areas of your life. Of course, you’re not going to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/goal-setting-works-best-when-you-have-long-term-goals-and-short-term/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“You both have been through a trying time, and you must face that a break will do each of you a world of good.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/you-both-have-been-through-a-trying-time-and-you-must-face-that-a/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“After a breakup, you may also feel physically and mentally incapacitated in some way. You have trouble sleeping, or you sleep too much. You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/after-a-breakup-you-may-also-feel-physically-and-mentally/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“When you are asking why, when, how questions or trying to figure out how he or she could do what was done or how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/when-you-are-asking-why-when-how-questions-or-trying-to-figure-out/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“Several of my clients, students, and readers have come to realize that they spent all their adult lives in relationships in which they were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/several-of-my-clients-students-and-readers-have-come-to-realize-that/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“The pain of heartache often comes in unpredictable episodes of intense pain that come and go. These episodes are called grief “spasms”—you feel overwhelmed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/the-pain-of-heartache-often-comes-in-unpredictable-episodes-of/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“At first you may feel shock or disbelief that a loss has occurred or an inability to recognize that it was really a loss.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/at-first-you-may-feel-shock-or-disbelief-that-a-loss-has-occurred-or/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“The first thing to know is that grief is not a straight line. It doesn’t happen in “stages,” as is commonly thought; it happens…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/the-first-thing-to-know-is-that-grief-is-not-a-straight-line-it-doesn/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“Stop worrying about what is wrong with you. While there might be things about you that need improvement, that doesn’t mean that you are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/stop-worrying-about-what-is-wrong-with-you-while-there-might-be/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“Learning that “water seeks its own level,” I was able to understand what issues needed attention by observing the people I was attracting and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/learning-that-water-seeks-its-own-level-i-was-able-to-understand-what/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“Don’t ask for justifications for present or past behavior, or say how much you’ve been hurt. Yes, there are things you want this person…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/don-t-ask-for-justifications-for-present-or-past-behavior-or-say-how/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“Time does not heal all wounds. If it did, there would be no unresolved grief and no hurt from long ago that still upsets…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/time-does-not-heal-all-wounds-if-it-did-there-would-be-no-unresolved/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“After a breakup, anger is an appropriate reaction. When something has been taken away, people feel angry. While feeling the anger is okay, acting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/after-a-breakup-anger-is-an-appropriate-reaction-when-something-has/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“If you’re the person who is being asked to be friends, say no. If your ex is saying that he or she simply can’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/if-you-re-the-person-who-is-being-asked-to-be-friends-say-no-if-your/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“Relationships weren’t easy for me, and for the first few years my abandonment issues were in full force, but with each one I learned.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/relationships-weren-t-easy-for-me-and-for-the-first-few-years-my/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) [Explore all 18 Susan J. Elliott quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) ## More Dance quotes > [When you go to a club it's not about being black or white or heavy or thick. I'm shaking my ass because I want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miley-cyrus/when-you-go-to-a-club-it-s-not-about-being-black-or-white-or-heavy-or/) [Miley Cyrus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miley-cyrus/) > [Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/sing-like-no-one-s-listening-love-like-you-ve-never-been-hurt-dance/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [I make dance music because I love to dance. But I want to think at the same time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stromae/i-make-dance-music-because-i-love-to-dance-but-i-want-to-think-at-the/) [Stromae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stromae/) > [I studied all kinds of dance, all types of music. I got good grades. I started hitting the recording studio around 13.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-derulo/i-studied-all-kinds-of-dance-all-types-of-music-i-got-good-grades-i/) [Jason Derulo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-derulo/) > [I like Sam Smith and Taylor Swift. I love pop music, but I also like Sam Smith's slow songs. That would be more to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maddie-ziegler/i-like-sam-smith-and-taylor-swift-i-love-pop-music-but-i-also-like/) [Maddie Ziegler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maddie-ziegler/) > [I think it's useful to experience other types of dance and other cultures, and the life of a classical dancer these days is certainly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-bull/i-think-it-s-useful-to-experience-other-types-of-dance-and-other/) [Deborah Bull](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-bull/) > [Everything in dancing is style, allusion, the essence of many thoughts and feelings. The abstraction of many moments.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alvin-ailey/everything-in-dancing-is-style-allusion-the-essence-of-many-thoughts/) [Alvin Ailey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alvin-ailey/) > [I worked a lot in Chicago's theater scene as a fight choreographer. And so I do have a lot of experience in stage combat…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-offerman/i-worked-a-lot-in-chicago-s-theater-scene-as-a-fight-choreographer/) [Nick Offerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-offerman/) > [“dances with mine as if we’ve been doing this our whole”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corinne-michaels/dances-with-mine-as-if-we-ve-been-doing-this-our-whole/) [Corinne Michaels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-michaels/) > [My body was so instrumental to how I took pictures: it was practically a dance. I used to use my legs a lot; now…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annie-leibovitz/my-body-was-so-instrumental-to-how-i-took-pictures-it-was-practically/) [Annie Leibovitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/annie-leibovitz/) > [I would rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach 10,000 stars how not to dance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-e-cummings/i-would-rather-learn-from-one-bird-how-to-sing-than-to-teach-10-000/) [e. e. cummings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-e-cummings/) > [If you dance, you dance because you have to. Every dancer hurts, you know.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katherine-dunham/if-you-dance-you-dance-because-you-have-to-every-dancer-hurts-you-know/) [Katherine Dunham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katherine-dunham/) > [I'm not a dancer. Never took a dance class.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chrishell-stause/i-m-not-a-dancer-never-took-a-dance-class/) [Chrishell Stause](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chrishell-stause/) > [Being fit is the easiest part of being a dance professional. I used to just throw on a backpack full of rocks and run…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anton-du-beke/being-fit-is-the-easiest-part-of-being-a-dance-professional-i-used-to/) [Anton du Beke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anton-du-beke/) > [I'm a horrible dancer, but I wanted to record songs that made me want to dance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-lane/i-m-a-horrible-dancer-but-i-wanted-to-record-songs-that-made-me-want/) [Chris Lane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-lane/) [Browse all 9,682 Dance quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dance/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“My therapist would later explain to me that “water seeks its own level” and that your partner’s flaws and issues usually go hand in hand with your own. A person chooses a partner with a similar degree of “brokenness” and does a dance of dysfunction where they both know the steps. 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