--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When a child is subjected to verbal…" description: "\"“When a child is subjected to verbal attacks, she sees it not as something being done to her but as something she has caused by her own failings. Becau..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e9/susan-forward-4980_children_when-a-child-is-subjected-to-verbal-atta_1546062.jpg" --- # When a child is subjected to verbal attacks, she sees it… ![“When a child is subjected to verbal attacks, she sees it not as something being done to her but as something she has caused by her own failings. Because children cannot conceive that their all-powerful godlike parents can do anything wrong, they believe what their parents say. The parent's…” quote by Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e9/susan-forward-4980_children_when-a-child-is-subjected-to-verbal-atta_1546062.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e9/susan-forward-4980_children_when-a-child-is-subjected-to-verbal-atta_1546062.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e9/susan-forward-4980_children_when-a-child-is-subjected-to-verbal-atta_1546062.jpg) > ““When a child is subjected to verbal attacks, she sees it not as something being done to her but as something she has caused by her own failings. Because children cannot conceive that their all-powerful godlike parents can do anything wrong, they believe what their parents say. The parent's negative opinion becomes the fact on which the child bases her self-image. If the messages the child gets about herself are primarily positive, her self-image will be healthy. But for many children, the positive messages are constantly being canceled out by negative ones.”” [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Children internalize parental criticism, shaping self‑image; positive reinforcement is essential for healthy self‑esteem. **In simple terms:** Positive messages shape self‑image. Key Takeaway Provide consistent positive feedback to children. Themes parenting self‑esteem psychology Mood cautious supportive Type educational advice When to use this quote - education - parenting workshops - therapy sessions Key Concepts developmental psychology attachment theory Questions to Reflect On - How can parents balance honesty with positivity? - What strategies help children rebuild self‑image after criticism? A Different Perspective Positive feedback may be insufficient without addressing underlying trauma. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Believe Parents](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/believe-parents-533367/) [Child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Parent Negative](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parent-negative-3039887/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Parents Wrong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parents-wrong-989517/) [Self image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-image/) [Verbal Attacks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/verbal-attacks-1193637/) ## Related quotes > [I think it's hard for any parent to see anything negative said or done against your child and, when you can't directly do something…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pattie-mallette/i-think-it-s-hard-for-any-parent-to-see-anything-negative-said-or/) [Pattie Mallette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pattie-mallette/) > [You're so afraid of being hurt that you attack first. Only those who really care about you will weather the assault of your verbal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/you-re-so-afraid-of-being-hurt-that-you-attack-first-only-those-who/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [The Democrats can engage in the most reprehensible, mean-spirited, vile, vicious verbal attacks known in politics, and they get praised for it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rush-limbaugh/the-democrats-can-engage-in-the-most-reprehensible-mean-spirited-vile/) [Rush Limbaugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rush-limbaugh/) > [“He said his prayers just in case his parents had been wrong about God all those years.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherman-alexie/he-said-his-prayers-just-in-case-his-parents-had-been-wrong-about-god/) [Sherman Alexie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherman-alexie/) > [I'm not saying that parents are always wrong or kids are always right~ I'm just saying that everyone has the right to take decisions…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shabana-adam/i-m-not-saying-that-parents-are-always-wrong-or-kids-are-always-right/) [Shabana Adam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shabana-adam/) > [“That boy made me realize, for a while at least, that my parents were wrong, and I didn't have to be like them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-x-burros/that-boy-made-me-realize-for-a-while-at-least-that-my-parents-were/) [J.X. Burros](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-x-burros/) > [Children, a lot of times, can't make their parents wrong because they have to live with them, because they have to love them. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lana-parrilla/children-a-lot-of-times-can-t-make-their-parents-wrong-because-they/) [Lana Parrilla](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lana-parrilla/) > [Just because a child does the littlest thing wrong you want to shout after them. Lord, its just one miner thing but when the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/just-because-a-child-does-the-littlest-thing-wrong-you-want-to-shout/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [“There are people who believe in you. You might not always believe that yourself, but there are—parents, teachers, neighbors, relatives, me. I know that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/obert-skye/there-are-people-who-believe-in-you-you-might-not-always-believe-that/) [Obert Skye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/obert-skye/) > [I would never recommend my novel as a parenting guide. But we happen to live at a very hectic and hurried time, and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-k-rowling-2/i-would-never-recommend-my-novel-as-a-parenting-guide-but-we-happen/) [J. K. Rowling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-k-rowling-2/) > [I totally believe parents should talk to their kids about drugs. I totally believe that educating them in every way is really important. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sheff/i-totally-believe-parents-should-talk-to-their-kids-about-drugs-i/) [David Sheff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sheff/) > [Some believe all that parents, tutors, and kindred believe. They take their principles by inheritance, and defend them as they would their estates, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-watts/some-believe-all-that-parents-tutors-and-kindred-believe-they-take/) [Alan Watts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-watts/) > [My father was a particularly zealous Christian Scientist, but young Christian Science children, who have little choice but to believe what their parents are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caroline-fraser/my-father-was-a-particularly-zealous-christian-scientist-but-young/) [Caroline Fraser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caroline-fraser/) > [I believe that parents need to make nutrition education a priority in their home environment. It's crucial for good health and longevity to instill…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cat-cora/i-believe-that-parents-need-to-make-nutrition-education-a-priority-in/) [Cat Cora](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cat-cora/) > [My mom made me think I was gorgeous. When I was younger she was like, 'Look at you! You're an angel. You sparkle!' And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-schumer/my-mom-made-me-think-i-was-gorgeous-when-i-was-younger-she-was-like/) [Amy Schumer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-schumer/) ## More by Susan Forward > [“Instead of promoting healthy development, they unconsciously undermine it, often with the belief that they are acting in their child’s best interest.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/instead-of-promoting-healthy-development-they-unconsciously-undermine/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [Criticism is the fountainhead of control.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/criticism-is-the-fountainhead-of-control/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“It’s amazing how people can change behind closed doors.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/it-s-amazing-how-people-can-change-behind-closed-doors/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“The initial disappointment for the misogynist usually occurs early in the relationship. However, because there is so much excitement and romance going on, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/the-initial-disappointment-for-the-misogynist-usually-occurs-early-in/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“Reality Check His lying is not contigent on who you are or what you do. His lying is not your fault. Lying is his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/reality-check-his-lying-is-not-contigent-on-who-you-are-or-what-you/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“Many misogynists use this method of turning the tables to deflect blame from themselves. They may say: "You are too sensitive"; "You're overreacting"; "You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/many-misogynists-use-this-method-of-turning-the-tables-to-deflect/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“Children expect different things from each parent. Traditionally, the mother is expected to protect and defend the children, while the father is seen as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/children-expect-different-things-from-each-parent-traditionally-the/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“Our laws and institutions concerning women's rights and male prerogatives are changing, but many men still believe that their masculine image depends on their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/our-laws-and-institutions-concerning-women-s-rights-and-male/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“As children, because of our dependency, we experience a sense of being powerless in a world of powerful people. If our home environments are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/as-children-because-of-our-dependency-we-experience-a-sense-of-being/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“Some misogynists do not resort to the obvious cruelty of scare tactics and screamed insults to gain control of their partners. Instead of raising…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/some-misogynists-do-not-resort-to-the-obvious-cruelty-of-scare/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“Children from high-drama households often grow up with the idea that tension is an integral part of love. Therefore, the girl who grows up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/children-from-high-drama-households-often-grow-up-with-the-idea-that/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“Anger is a normal human emotion and all children experience it to some degree, but many parents have difficulty dealing with it. Often they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/anger-is-a-normal-human-emotion-and-all-children-experience-it-to/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [When your lover is a liar, you and he have a lot in common, you're both lying to you!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/when-your-lover-is-a-liar-you-and-he-have-a-lot-in-common-you-re-both/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“Women in troubled marriages frequently try to work out their problems through their children. Whether a woman does this through the extremes of overwhelming…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/women-in-troubled-marriages-frequently-try-to-work-out-their-problems/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“Inherent in his fear of this dependency is the equally dreadful fear that she will leave him. His terrors of being alone, of being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/inherent-in-his-fear-of-this-dependency-is-the-equally-dreadful-fear/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) [Explore all 102 Susan Forward quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) ## More Child quotes > [The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/the-thing-about-hitting-kids-is-think-about-if-you-were-doing-the/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [“Children's lives are always beginning and adults' lives are always ending. Or is it the opposite? Your childhood is always ending and your adult…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-espach/children-s-lives-are-always-beginning-and-adults-lives-are-always/) [Alison Espach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-espach/) > [“As parents who make every effort we can to raise our children in loving security, we do not need to feel more guilt than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/as-parents-who-make-every-effort-we-can-to-raise-our-children-in/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [I want to make my music and be a happy woman, a good wife, a good mom and one day hopefully have a child…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leann-rimes/i-want-to-make-my-music-and-be-a-happy-woman-a-good-wife-a-good-mom/) [LeAnn Rimes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leann-rimes/) > [I would have done well as a gypsy child, I think. A circus baby. I coulda played a great street urchin or ragamuffin. Or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/natasha-lyonne/i-would-have-done-well-as-a-gypsy-child-i-think-a-circus-baby-i/) [Natasha Lyonne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/natasha-lyonne/) > [We're raising children who have little tolerance for disappointment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/we-re-raising-children-who-have-little-tolerance-for-disappointment/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [I'm a weirdo and an only child. That comes together to create one-woman shows.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-seales/i-m-a-weirdo-and-an-only-child-that-comes-together-to-create-one/) [Amanda Seales](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-seales/) > [“Every child is born as angel.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lailah-gifty-akita/every-child-is-born-as-angel/) [Lailah Gifty Akita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lailah-gifty-akita/) > [To assist a child we must provide him with an environment which will enable him to develop freely.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maria-montessori/to-assist-a-child-we-must-provide-him-with-an-environment-which-will/) [Maria Montessori](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maria-montessori/) > [Almost everywhere we find . . . the use of various coercive measures, to rid ourselves as quickly as possible of the child withinus--i.e.,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/almost-everywhere-we-find-the-use-of-various-coercive-measures-to-rid/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Since I was a little child, my nose - I think it's too big.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/celine-dion/since-i-was-a-little-child-my-nose-i-think-it-s-too-big/) [Celine Dion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/celine-dion/) > [if we center our lives on BMWs, RVs, VCRs, PCs and the other acronyms of consumerism, we cannot expect our children to do otherwise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnnetta-b-cole/if-we-center-our-lives-on-bmws-rvs-vcrs-pcs-and-the-other-acronyms-of/) [Johnnetta B. Cole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnnetta-b-cole/) > [Bring up your children in the way you think other peoples children should go.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-parsai/bring-up-your-children-in-the-way-you-think-other-peoples-children/) [Vikrant Parsai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-parsai/) > [Parents who are stressed or disturbed will have more difficulty in meeting their children's needs. Parents who have little support--from friends, relatives, neighbors, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-kamerman/parents-who-are-stressed-or-disturbed-will-have-more-difficulty-in/) [Sheila Kamerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-kamerman/) > [My first three manuscripts were epic fantasy - like high fantasy - and then the fourth one was a historical fantasy about Mozart as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marie-lu/my-first-three-manuscripts-were-epic-fantasy-like-high-fantasy-and/) [Marie Lu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marie-lu/) [Browse all 10,700 Child quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“When a child is subjected to verbal attacks, she sees it not as something being done to her but as something she has caused by her own failings. Because children cannot conceive that their all-powerful godlike parents can do anything wrong, they believe what their parents say. The parent's negative opinion becomes the fact on which the child bases her self-image. If the messages the child gets about herself are primarily positive, her self-image will be healthy. But for many children, the positive messages are constantly being canceled out by negative ones.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Susan Forward" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/when-a-child-is-subjected-to-verbal-attacks-she-sees-it-not-as/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Child" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/when-a-child-is-subjected-to-verbal-attacks-she-sees-it-not-as/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e9/susan-forward-4980_children_when-a-child-is-subjected-to-verbal-atta_1546062.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e9/susan-forward-4980_children_when-a-child-is-subjected-to-verbal-atta_1546062.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e9/susan-forward-4980_children_when-a-child-is-subjected-to-verbal-atta_1546062.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When a child is subjected to verbal attacks, she sees it not as something being done to her but as something…” — Susan Forward", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Susan Forward", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“When a child is subjected to...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/when-a-child-is-subjected-to-verbal-attacks-she-sees-it-not-as/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/when-a-child-is-subjected-to-verbal-attacks-she-sees-it-not-as/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```