--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The logic goes like this: If he has the…" description: "\"“The logic goes like this: If he has the capacity to be so wonderful, then it must be something I am doing that's making things go wrong. The misogynis..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ac/susan-forward-4980_faith_the-logic-goes-like-this-if-he-has-the-c_2137355.jpg" --- # The logic goes like this: If he has the capacity to be so… ![“The logic goes like this: If he has the capacity to be so wonderful, then it must be something I am doing that's making things go wrong. The misogynist bolsters this belief by reminding you that he would always be nice if only you would stop this, or change that, or be more of this or a little…” quote by Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ac/susan-forward-4980_faith_the-logic-goes-like-this-if-he-has-the-c_2137355.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ac/susan-forward-4980_faith_the-logic-goes-like-this-if-he-has-the-c_2137355.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ac/susan-forward-4980_faith_the-logic-goes-like-this-if-he-has-the-c_2137355.jpg) > ““The logic goes like this: If he has the capacity to be so wonderful, then it must be something I am doing that's making things go wrong. The misogynist bolsters this belief by reminding you that he would always be nice if only you would stop this, or change that, or be more of this or a little less of that. This is very dangerous thinking. Your new attempt to make sense of the confusion in your relationship represents a giant leap in the wrong direction. You've gone from recognizing that there are troublesome aspects to your partner's behavior, to attempting to justify them or explain them away, to now internalizing and accepting the responsibility for how he acts.”” [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Blaming oneself for a partner's abusive behavior is a harmful pattern that shifts responsibility away from the abuser. **In simple terms:** Self‑blame for partner's flaws is dangerous. Key Takeaway Stop internalizing abuse; seek external perspective. Themes abuse self‑blame responsibility relationships Mood anxious reflective Type advice psychological When to use this quote - therapy sessions - support groups - personal journaling - educational workshops Key Concepts psychology toxic dynamics codependency Questions to Reflect On - What evidence shows the partner's behavior is independent of your actions? - How can you reclaim agency in the relationship? A Different Perspective It can be hard to recognize manipulation and accept that the abuser is accountable. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Faith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/faith/) ## Related quotes > [“1. You are constantly second-guessing yourself. 2. You ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive?” a dozen times a day. 3. 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It is easier for him to attack her than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/the-misogynist-genuinely-believes-that-his-rage-toward-his-partner-is/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“The more she sees him as the primary source of her good feelings, the more she will need him to be the center of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/the-more-she-sees-him-as-the-primary-source-of-her-good-feelings-the/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“The misogynist's control over his partner is like the roots of a plant: it spreads into many areas of her life. Her work, her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/the-misogynist-s-control-over-his-partner-is-like-the-roots-of-a/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“The misogynist must control how his partner thinks, feels, behaves, and with whom and what she involves herself. It is amazing how quickly even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/the-misogynist-must-control-how-his-partner-thinks-feels-behaves-and/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“There is an insatiable, demanding quality to the misogynist's love; no matter how much you give, or give up, it is never enough. He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/there-is-an-insatiable-demanding-quality-to-the-misogynist-s-love-no/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“Once we begin to examine the forces that drive the misogynist, we find that much of his abusive behavior is a cover-up for his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/once-we-begin-to-examine-the-forces-that-drive-the-misogynist-we-find/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“But the misogynist can get very mad over virtually nothing. He explodes over the most insignificant events. He exaggerates, he maximizes—he makes mountains out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/but-the-misogynist-can-get-very-mad-over-virtually-nothing-he/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“In order to feel safe, the misogynist must control your thoughts, your opinions, your feelings, and your behavior. Therefore, only those friends and family…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/in-order-to-feel-safe-the-misogynist-must-control-your-thoughts-your/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“The typical misogynist expects his partner to be a never-ending source of total, all-giving love, adoration, concern, approval, and nurturing. He enters into a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/the-typical-misogynist-expects-his-partner-to-be-a-never-ending/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“The misogynist has an extensive repertoire of scare tactics, insults, denigrating comments, and other intimidating behavior designed to make his partner feel inadequate and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/the-misogynist-has-an-extensive-repertoire-of-scare-tactics-insults/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“Most of us are very sensitive about our roles as mothers. If the misogynist feels his partner is betraying him for the sake of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-forward/most-of-us-are-very-sensitive-about-our-roles-as-mothers-if-the/) [Susan Forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-forward/) > [“Unfortunately, there is no magic key. 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