--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It's not that there is no small…" description: "\"It's not that there is no small talk...It's that it comes not at the beginning of conversations but at the end...Sensitive people...'enjoy small talk o..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04b/susan-cain-647_authenticity_it-s-not-that-there-is-no-small-talk-it_374083.jpg" --- # It's not that there is no small talk...It's that it comes… ![“It's not that there is no small talk...It's that it comes not at the beginning of conversations but at the end...Sensitive people...'enjoy small talk only after they've gone deep' says Strickland. 'When sensitive people are in environments that nurture their authenticity, they laugh and chitchat…” quote by Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04b/susan-cain-647_authenticity_it-s-not-that-there-is-no-small-talk-it_374083.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04b/susan-cain-647_authenticity_it-s-not-that-there-is-no-small-talk-it_374083.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04b/susan-cain-647_authenticity_it-s-not-that-there-is-no-small-talk-it_374083.jpg) > “It's not that there is no small talk...It's that it comes not at the beginning of conversations but at the end...Sensitive people...'enjoy small talk only after they've gone deep' says Strickland. 'When sensitive people are in environments that nurture their authenticity, they laugh and chitchat just as much as anyone else.” [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Sensitive individuals often reserve small talk for after deep connection, feeling authentic when they can be themselves. **In simple terms:** Sensitive people prefer deep talk first, then small talk. Key Takeaway Create safe spaces for authentic sharing. Themes authenticity communication social dynamics Mood thoughtful empathetic Type advice observational When to use this quote - team meetings - friend gatherings - therapy sessions - networking events Key Concepts psychology emotional safety Questions to Reflect On - How can you foster authenticity in group settings? - What signals indicate someone is ready for deeper conversation? A Different Perspective If the environment feels unsafe, small talk may never emerge. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Authenticity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/authenticity/) [Communication](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/communication/) [Conversation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conversation/) [Conversations](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conversations/) [Environment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/environment/) [Nurture](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nurture/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Sensitive People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sensitive-people/) [Small talk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/small-talk/) ## Related quotes > [“It’s not that there’s no small talk, observes Strickland, the leader of the gathering. It’s that it comes not at the beginning of conversations…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/it-s-not-that-there-s-no-small-talk-observes-strickland-the-leader-of/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [In the beginning conversations starts with great love and affection and with the passage of time it ends with Irritations.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mudassir-qayyum/in-the-beginning-conversations-starts-with-great-love-and-affection/) Mudassir Qayyum > [“In most settings, people use small talk as a way of relaxing into a new relationship, and only once they’re comfortable do they connect…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/in-most-settings-people-use-small-talk-as-a-way-of-relaxing-into-a/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [“For example, highly sensitive people tend to be keen observers who look before they leap. They arrange their lives in ways that limit surprises.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/for-example-highly-sensitive-people-tend-to-be-keen-observers-who/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [“The conference is geared to people who enjoy meaningful discussions and sometimes "move a conversation to a deeper level, only to find out we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/the-conference-is-geared-to-people-who-enjoy-meaningful-discussions/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [ “The highly sensitive \[introverted\] tend to be philosophical or spiritual in their orientation, rather than materialistic or hedonistic. They dislike small talk. 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They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/they-prefer-to-devote-their-social-energies-to-close-friends/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [“Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/introverts-in-contrast-may-have-strong-social-skills-and-enjoy-2/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [“And it suggests, says Jadzia Jagiellowicz, the lead scientist at Stony Brook, that sensitive types think in an unusually complex fashion. It may also…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/and-it-suggests-says-jadzia-jagiellowicz-the-lead-scientist-at-stony/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [Introverts .. may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/introverts-may-have-strong-social-skills-and-enjoy-parties-and/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) ## More by Susan Cain > [“Proverbs from the East: The wind howls, but the mountain remains still. Even though I make no special attempt to observe the discipline of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/proverbs-from-the-east-the-wind-howls-but-the-mountain-remains-still/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [“where we fall on the introvert-extrovert spectrum. Our place on this continuum influences our choice of friends and mates, and how we make conversation,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/where-we-fall-on-the-introvert-extrovert-spectrum-our-place-on-this/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [“I worry that there are people who are put in positions of authority because they’re good talkers, but they don’t have good ideas,” he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/i-worry-that-there-are-people-who-are-put-in-positions-of-authority/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [“He believes, as most of us do, that venting anger lets off steam. The “catharsis hypothesis”—that aggression builds up inside us until it’s healthily…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/he-believes-as-most-of-us-do-that-venting-anger-lets-off-steam-the/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [“Soft power is not limited to moral exemplars like Mahatma Gandhi. 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The most recent version of the Diagnostic…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/social-anxiety-disorder-which-essentially-means-pathological-shyness/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [“Potential clients would walk out of Charlie’s office scared”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/potential-clients-would-walk-out-of-charlie-s-office-scared/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [“So when introverts assume the observer role, as when they write novels, or contemplate unified field theory- or fall quiet at dinner parties- they’re…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/so-when-introverts-assume-the-observer-role-as-when-they-write-novels/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [“Osborn’s theory had great impact, and company leaders took up brainstorming with enthusiasm. To this day, it’s common for anyone who spends time in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/osborn-s-theory-had-great-impact-and-company-leaders-took-up/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we've turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/extroversion-is-an-enormously-appealing-personality-style-but-we-ve/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [“But as the word satyagraha implies, Gandhi’s passivity was not weakness at all. It meant focusing on an ultimate goal and refusing to divert…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/but-as-the-word-satyagraha-implies-gandhi-s-passivity-was-not/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [“The Extrovert Ideal has been documented in many studies, though this research has never been grouped under a single name. Talkative people, for example,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/the-extrovert-ideal-has-been-documented-in-many-studies-though-this/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [“introverts prefer to work independently, and solitude can be a catalyst to innovation. As the influential psychologist Hans Eysenck once observed, introversion “concentrates the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/introverts-prefer-to-work-independently-and-solitude-can-be-a/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [ “People who tend to \[suppress their negative emotions\] regularly,” concludes Grob, “might start to see the world in a more negative light.” ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/people-who-tend-to-suppress-their-negative-emotions-regularly/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) [Explore all 428 Susan Cain quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) ## More Authenticity quotes > [“the property that grounded the self in Romanticism was sincerity, and in modernism was authenticity, then in postmod ernism it is visibility.10”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-hedges/the-property-that-grounded-the-self-in-romanticism-was-sincerity-and/) [Chris Hedges](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-hedges/) > [Every genuine expression of love grows out of a consistent and total surrender to God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-luther-king-jr/every-genuine-expression-of-love-grows-out-of-a-consistent-and-total/) [Martin Luther King, Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-luther-king-jr/) > [Real artists offer authenticity, not just money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rhymefest/real-artists-offer-authenticity-not-just-money/) [Rhymefest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rhymefest/) > [“I figure the more people think I'm just mildly weird, the less likely they are to know how weird I really am.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melanie-hooyenga/i-figure-the-more-people-think-i-m-just-mildly-weird-the-less-likely/) Melanie Hooyenga > [I think people can read authenticity and they know when you're involved and when you're just slapping your name on something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/la-la-anthony/i-think-people-can-read-authenticity-and-they-know-when-you-re/) [La La Anthony](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/la-la-anthony/) > [“I strive for authenticity even though it brings with it vulnerability and the inevitable judgment of others.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-r-w-lee/i-strive-for-authenticity-even-though-it-brings-with-it-vulnerability/) [L.R.W. Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-r-w-lee/) > [Children go where they find sincerity and authenticity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-cantona/children-go-where-they-find-sincerity-and-authenticity/) [Eric Cantona](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-cantona/) > [Accepting the reality of our sinfulness means accepting our authentic self. Judas could not face his shadow; Peter could. The latter befriended the impostor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brennan-manning/accepting-the-reality-of-our-sinfulness-means-accepting-our-authentic/) [Brennan Manning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brennan-manning/) > [“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, focus your energy on what you can create.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roy-bennett/instead-of-worrying-about-what-you-cannot-control-focus-your-energy/) [Roy Bennett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roy-bennett/) > [Anything that I ever do is from the heart and authentic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/belinda-carlisle/anything-that-i-ever-do-is-from-the-heart-and-authentic/) [Belinda Carlisle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/belinda-carlisle/) > [What I love about Nivea is they're all about authenticity. The brand isn't pretending to be anything it isn't.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tessa-virtue/what-i-love-about-nivea-is-they-re-all-about-authenticity-the-brand/) [Tessa Virtue](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tessa-virtue/) > [There is nothing which so certifies the genuineness of a man's faith as his patience and his patient endurance, his keeping on steadily in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/there-is-nothing-which-so-certifies-the-genuineness-of-a-man-s-faith/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [When you're really famous, there's very little authenticity in people, so you prefer the company of children.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katherine-ryan/when-you-re-really-famous-there-s-very-little-authenticity-in-people/) [Katherine Ryan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katherine-ryan/) > [“We could not be fulfilled if we weren't inauthentic some of the time—inauthentic, that is, in relation to such things as our passing desires…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/we-could-not-be-fulfilled-if-we-weren-t-inauthentic-some-of-the-time/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [No man knows the genuineness of his convictions until he has sacrificed something for them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edwin-hubbel-chapin/no-man-knows-the-genuineness-of-his-convictions-until-he-has/) [Edwin Hubbel Chapin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edwin-hubbel-chapin/) [Browse all 1,437 Authenticity quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/authenticity/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It's not that there is no small talk...It's that it comes not at the beginning of conversations but at the end...Sensitive people...'enjoy small talk only after they've gone deep' says Strickland. 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