---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Standing there, I loved myself and I…"
description: "\"Standing there, I loved myself and I hated myself. That's what the black Mary did to me, made me feel my glory and my shame at the same time.\" — Sue Mo..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd4/sue-monk-kidd-404_black_standing-there-i-loved-myself-and-i-hate_1178854.png"
---

#  Standing there, I loved myself and I hated myself. That's…

![“Standing there, I loved myself and I hated myself. That's what the black Mary did to me, made me feel my glory and my shame at the same time.” quote by Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd4/sue-monk-kidd-404_black_standing-there-i-loved-myself-and-i-hate_1178854.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd4/sue-monk-kidd-404_black_standing-there-i-loved-myself-and-i-hate_1178854.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd4/sue-monk-kidd-404_black_standing-there-i-loved-myself-and-i-hate_1178854.png)

> “Standing there, I loved myself and I hated myself. That's what the black Mary did to me, made me feel my glory and my shame at the same time.”

[Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The protagonist experiences simultaneous self-love and self-hatred, reflecting inner conflict triggered by a pivotal figure.

**In simple terms:** Love and hate coexist within self.

Key Takeaway

Embrace both light and shadow.

Themes

identity psychology growth conflict spirituality

Mood

introspective hopeful empathetic

Type

narrative personal.

When to use this quote

- Therapeutic self‑reflection
- navigating relationships
- personal growth workshops
- spiritual healing practices

Key Concepts

Duality self-acceptance transformation

Questions to Reflect On

- What triggers your inner duality?
- How can you integrate both aspects?

A Different Perspective

Risk of stagnation if conflict remains unresolved.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/black/) [Black Mary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/black-mary-3448394/) [Did Feel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/did-feel/) [Feels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feels/) [Glory](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/glory/) [Glory Shame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/glory-shame-1007084/) [Hated](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hated/) [Loved Hated](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loved-hated/) [Made](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/made/) [Mary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mary/) [Shame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shame/) [Standing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/standing/)

## Related quotes

> [“The only man she ever loved. And hated.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-papas/the-only-man-she-ever-loved-and-hated/)

[Mary Papas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-papas/)

> [I feel like people either love me or hate me, which is good, because that was the point of what I do. The point…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-i-a/i-feel-like-people-either-love-me-or-hate-me-which-is-good-because/)

[M.I.A](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-i-a/)

> [Loved By Many , Hated By Some Hated By Many , Loved By None](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deezy-da-dreadhead/loved-by-many-hated-by-some-hated-by-many-loved-by-none/)

[Deezy Da Dreadhead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deezy-da-dreadhead/)

> [I loved you but you hated me… And 1 day u left me..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kapil-chouhan/i-loved-you-but-you-hated-me-and-1-day-u-left-me/)

[Kapil Chouhan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kapil-chouhan/)

> [I like to be loved or hated - I don't like mediocre. So I'd rather have the entire crowd hate me than to have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrice-o-neal/i-like-to-be-loved-or-hated-i-don-t-like-mediocre-so-i-d-rather-have/)

[Patrice O'Neal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrice-o-neal/)

> [Everybody loved me and no-one ever hated.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob/everybody-loved-me-and-no-one-ever-hated/)

[BOB](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob/)

> [“What’s painful is that what you had together, all your inside jokes and favorite restaurants and that movie you both loved but everyone else…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-culbertson/what-s-painful-is-that-what-you-had-together-all-your-inside-jokes/)

[Kim Culbertson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-culbertson/)

> [Fidel Castro was loved and hated passionately.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-gjelten/fidel-castro-was-loved-and-hated-passionately/)

[Tom Gjelten](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-gjelten/)

> [“The wise shall inherit glory, but shame shall be the promotion of fools.’” (Prov. 3:35)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bunyan/the-wise-shall-inherit-glory-but-shame-shall-be-the-promotion-of/)

[John Bunyan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bunyan/)

> [Yet, whether to the glory or to the shame of human nature, in what we call pleasure (with an excess of scorn, perhaps) there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/yet-whether-to-the-glory-or-to-the-shame-of-human-nature-in-what-we/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Laborin' man an' laborin' woman Hev one glory an' one shame; Ev'y thin' thet' s done inhuman Injers all on 'em the same.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-russell-lowell/laborin-man-an-laborin-woman-hev-one-glory-an-one-shame-ev-y-thin/)

[James Russell Lowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-russell-lowell/)

> [The extremes of glory and of shame, Like east and west, become the same No Indian prince has to his palace - More followers…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-butler/the-extremes-of-glory-and-of-shame-like-east-and-west-become-the-same/)

[Samuel Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-butler/)

> [“The glory and the shame of the human race is that we can get used to anything.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-lansdown/the-glory-and-the-shame-of-the-human-race-is-that-we-can-get-used-to/)

[Christopher Lansdown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-lansdown/)

> [Imagination cannot make fools wise, but it makes them happy, as against reason, which only makes its friends wretched: one covers them with glory,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/blaise-pascal/imagination-cannot-make-fools-wise-but-it-makes-them-happy-as-against/)

[Blaise Pascal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/blaise-pascal/)

> [“THE MANDATE OF CREATION is a source both of glory and of shame for the Christian community.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-davison-hunter/the-mandate-of-creation-is-a-source-both-of-glory-and-of-shame-for/)

[James Davison Hunter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-davison-hunter/)

## More by Sue Monk Kidd

> [“But benevolent patriarchy is still patriarchy.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/but-benevolent-patriarchy-is-still-patriarchy/)

[Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

> [“It's part of our overall Body Negation Program.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/it-s-part-of-our-overall-body-negation-program/)

[Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

> [“That was the thing mauma and I loved, our time with the quilts.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/that-was-the-thing-mauma-and-i-loved-our-time-with-the-quilts/)

[Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

> [In recent years my understanding of God had evolved into increasingly remote abstractions. I'd come to think of God in terms like Divine Reality,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/in-recent-years-my-understanding-of-god-had-evolved-into-increasingly/)

[Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

> [we need not avoid our active lives, but simply bring to them a new vision and shift of gravity. for in the center we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/we-need-not-avoid-our-active-lives-but-simply-bring-to-them-a-new/)

[Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

> [“The mermaids came to me finally, in the pink hours of my life. They are my consolation. For them I dove with arms outstretched,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/the-mermaids-came-to-me-finally-in-the-pink-hours-of-my-life-they-are/)

[Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

> [“The bag contained a pair of white cotton gloves stained the color of age.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/the-bag-contained-a-pair-of-white-cotton-gloves-stained-the-color-of/)

[Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

> [I eventually found that the soul is more than an immortal commodity to win and save. It is the repository of the inner divine,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/i-eventually-found-that-the-soul-is-more-than-an-immortal-commodity/)

[Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

> [“Readiness for dying arrives by attending the smallest moment and finding the eternal inside of it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/readiness-for-dying-arrives-by-attending-the-smallest-moment-and/)

[Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

> [“I sat at her desk and turned one page after another, staring at what looked like bits and pieces of black lace laid cross…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/i-sat-at-her-desk-and-turned-one-page-after-another-staring-at-what/)

[Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

> [The translucence that comes when life hardens into a bead of such cruel perfection you see it with the purest clarity. Everything suddenly there--life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/the-translucence-that-comes-when-life-hardens-into-a-bead-of-such/)

[Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

> [“There's no pain on earth that doesn't require a benevolent witness.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/there-s-no-pain-on-earth-that-doesn-t-require-a-benevolent-witness/)

[sue monk kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

> [“afflicted with the worst female curse on earth, the need to mold myself to expectations.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/afflicted-with-the-worst-female-curse-on-earth-the-need-to-mold/)

[Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

> [“Her forbidden bath all those months ago still hung leaden between us, though Handful didn't seem the least bit ashamed by my discovery of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/her-forbidden-bath-all-those-months-ago-still-hung-leaden-between-us/)

[Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

> [“Why should God’s perfection be based on having an unchanging nature?” I asked. “Isn’t flexibility more perfect than stasis?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/why-should-god-s-perfection-be-based-on-having-an-unchanging-nature-i/)

[Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

[Explore all 584 Sue Monk Kidd quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

## More Black quotes

> [I wanted to write about voodoo tradition that I feel has been very important to survival of black people here: people of the African…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesmyn-ward/i-wanted-to-write-about-voodoo-tradition-that-i-feel-has-been-very/)

[Jesmyn Ward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesmyn-ward/)

> [When you go to a club it's not about being black or white or heavy or thick. I'm shaking my ass because I want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miley-cyrus/when-you-go-to-a-club-it-s-not-about-being-black-or-white-or-heavy-or/)

[Miley Cyrus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miley-cyrus/)

> [The vision of the left, full of envy and resentment, takes its worst toll on those at the bottom - whether black or white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-vision-of-the-left-full-of-envy-and-resentment-takes-its-worst/)

[Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/)

> [When you're scared - and I mean really scared, not just hearing a noise in the night, or standing toe to toe with someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-gordon-smith/when-you-re-scared-and-i-mean-really-scared-not-just-hearing-a-noise/)

[Alexander Gordon Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-gordon-smith/)

> [The term "black metal" has become a lot looser, or can include a larger range of sounds and extra-musical aesthetics, not just Satan and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colin-marston/the-term-black-metal-has-become-a-lot-looser-or-can-include-a-larger/)

[Colin Marston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colin-marston/)

> [How can you be more subject; black woman in a white man's world?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maureen-duffy/how-can-you-be-more-subject-black-woman-in-a-white-man-s-world/)

[Maureen Duffy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maureen-duffy/)

> [We have to build our own power. We have to win every single political office we can, where we have a majority of black…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fannie-lou-hamer/we-have-to-build-our-own-power-we-have-to-win-every-single-political/)

[Fannie Lou Hamer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fannie-lou-hamer/)

> [There is only one party in the United States, the Property Party...and it has two right wings: Republican and Democrat. Republicans are a bit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gore-vidal/there-is-only-one-party-in-the-united-states-the-property-party-and/)

[Gore Vidal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gore-vidal/)

> [Black music has always known, and not been afraid to acknowledge just how high the stakes of Black thought are. To summarize the final…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-b-wilderson-iii/black-music-has-always-known-and-not-been-afraid-to-acknowledge-just/)

[Frank B. Wilderson III](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-b-wilderson-iii/)

> [I know how hard it is to be a woman, especially a black woman.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-tyson/i-know-how-hard-it-is-to-be-a-woman-especially-a-black-woman/)

[Mike Tyson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-tyson/)

> [If soot stains your tunic, dye it black. This is vengeance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-scott-bakker/if-soot-stains-your-tunic-dye-it-black-this-is-vengeance/)

[R. Scott Bakker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-scott-bakker/)

> [Hollywood is so fixated on keeping it that way because it's generating the buzz, but that representation isn't right. I definitely feel like it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-boyega/hollywood-is-so-fixated-on-keeping-it-that-way-because-it-s/)

[John Boyega](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-boyega/)

> [Nowadays most people wear black most of the time anyway: go to a literary party and one would imagine everyone there was in perpetual…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fay-weldon/nowadays-most-people-wear-black-most-of-the-time-anyway-go-to-a/)

[Fay Weldon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fay-weldon/)

> [There ain't no such thing as black Muslims. That's how they tried to cut off all my brothers in the rest of the world…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/muhammad-ali/there-ain-t-no-such-thing-as-black-muslims-that-s-how-they-tried-to/)

[Muhammad Ali](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/muhammad-ali/)

> [We do not want to be reminded that it is we, the indigenous people, who are poor and exploited in the land of our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-biko/we-do-not-want-to-be-reminded-that-it-is-we-the-indigenous-people-who/)

[Steven Biko](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-biko/)

[Browse all 11,655 Black quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/black/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "Standing there, I loved myself and I hated myself. That's what the black Mary did to me, made me feel my glory and my shame at the same time.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Sue Monk Kidd"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/standing-there-i-loved-myself-and-i-hated-myself-that-s-what-the/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Black"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/standing-there-i-loved-myself-and-i-hated-myself-that-s-what-the/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd4/sue-monk-kidd-404_black_standing-there-i-loved-myself-and-i-hate_1178854.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd4/sue-monk-kidd-404_black_standing-there-i-loved-myself-and-i-hate_1178854.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd4/sue-monk-kidd-404_black_standing-there-i-loved-myself-and-i-hate_1178854.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Standing there, I loved myself and I hated myself. That's what the black Mary did to me, made me feel my…” — Sue Monk Kidd",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Sue Monk Kidd",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Standing there, I loved myself and...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/standing-there-i-loved-myself-and-i-hated-myself-that-s-what-the/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/standing-there-i-loved-myself-and-i-hated-myself-that-s-what-the/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
