--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Most people are hurt deeply by betrayals…" description: "\"Most people are hurt deeply by betrayals in relationships. It might be better to really get up against and sort of contact that caring, and maybe take ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c78/steven-c-hayes-19351_betrayal_most-people-are-hurt-deeply-by-betrayals_1450576.png" --- # Most people are hurt deeply by betrayals in relationships… ![“Most people are hurt deeply by betrayals in relationships. It might be better to really get up against and sort of contact that caring, and maybe take a more loving stance even with your own pain, and keep your feet moving towards what you really want, because the cost in terms of intimacy and…” quote by Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c78/steven-c-hayes-19351_betrayal_most-people-are-hurt-deeply-by-betrayals_1450576.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c78/steven-c-hayes-19351_betrayal_most-people-are-hurt-deeply-by-betrayals_1450576.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c78/steven-c-hayes-19351_betrayal_most-people-are-hurt-deeply-by-betrayals_1450576.png) > “Most people are hurt deeply by betrayals in relationships. It might be better to really get up against and sort of contact that caring, and maybe take a more loving stance even with your own pain, and keep your feet moving towards what you really want, because the cost in terms of intimacy and connection and caring that comes when you try not to be vulnerable, when you're constantly looking out for betrayals of trust, is too great. It makes it very hard to have relationships of the kind that you really want. One, look where the pain is. Flip it over; you'll find that's where the values are.” [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Vulnerability is essential for deep intimacy; avoiding it leads to fear of betrayal and shallow connections. **In simple terms:** Being open creates true connection. Key Takeaway Embrace vulnerability to build meaningful relationships. Themes vulnerability intimacy trust self‑compassion Mood hopeful reflective Type advice psychological inspirational When to use this quote - romantic partnership - friendship - therapy sessions - personal growth - conflict resolution Key Concepts psychology acceptance values emotional intelligence Questions to Reflect On - What values are hidden behind your fear of betrayal? - How can you practice safe vulnerability? A Different Perspective Avoiding vulnerability can cause chronic isolation and missed opportunities for genuine love. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Betrayal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/betrayal/) [Betrayals](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/betrayals/) [Caring](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/caring/) [Compassion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/compassion/) [Hard Relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hard-relationships/) [Intimacy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/intimacy/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Values](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/values/) ## Related quotes > [The worst of betrayals is by those who you trust most. Beware.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-worst-of-betrayals-is-by-those-who-you-trust-most-beware/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [To my fancy, one looks back on life, it has only two responsibilities, which include all the others: one is the bringing of new…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-adams/to-my-fancy-one-looks-back-on-life-it-has-only-two-responsibilities/) [Henry Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-adams/) > [At the end of the day, it's hard to keep relationships with people. I've got my family, my best friends and if a girl's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miles-teller/at-the-end-of-the-day-it-s-hard-to-keep-relationships-with-people-i/) [Miles Teller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miles-teller/) > [It's so hard to have relationships when there is so much scrutiny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rosanna-arquette/it-s-so-hard-to-have-relationships-when-there-is-so-much-scrutiny/) [Rosanna Arquette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rosanna-arquette/) > [The entertainment business is hard on relationships, but it's just as hard on your own spiritual well-being. It's easy to lose focus, to forget…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-k-winter-jr/the-entertainment-business-is-hard-on-relationships-but-it-s-just-as/) Ralph K. Winter Jr > [“We all have work to do—hard work, challenging work—and it will take time. We all need to talk and we all need to listen,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/historica-press/we-all-have-work-to-do-hard-work-challenging-work-and-it-will-take/) [Historica Press](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/historica-press/) > [I find it hard when I'm in relationships to maintain my sense of who I am.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aimee-lou-wood/i-find-it-hard-when-i-m-in-relationships-to-maintain-my-sense-of-who/) [Aimee Lou Wood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aimee-lou-wood/) > [I think a lot of people, when you go through struggles and difficult times, that people throw in the towel a little too easy.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tish-cyrus/i-think-a-lot-of-people-when-you-go-through-struggles-and-difficult/) [Tish Cyrus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tish-cyrus/) > [Listening is huge. Learn to listen. And it's hard: relationships are not easy; most of them don't last. I mean, when you look at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/goldie-hawn/listening-is-huge-learn-to-listen-and-it-s-hard-relationships-are-not/) [Goldie Hawn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/goldie-hawn/) > [It is very difficult to trust anyone and I always find that hard in relationships.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/spencer-matthews/it-is-very-difficult-to-trust-anyone-and-i-always-find-that-hard-in/) [Spencer Matthews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/spencer-matthews/) > [Nobody is perfect and that's why I stress, I appreciate women who try hard with their relationships.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/nobody-is-perfect-and-that-s-why-i-stress-i-appreciate-women-who-try/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [But in order for anyone to become successful, sometimes you have to be that driven and focused, and maybe there isn't a lot left…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathan-lane/but-in-order-for-anyone-to-become-successful-sometimes-you-have-to-be/) [Nathan Lane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathan-lane/) > [I find it really, really, really hard to have relationships with other men. That's one of my biggest problems. Women I seem to get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ashley-walters/i-find-it-really-really-really-hard-to-have-relationships-with-other/) [Ashley Walters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ashley-walters/) > [I think it's so easy when you have children just to turn your focus inward on your family and because, when they're young, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-brand/i-think-it-s-so-easy-when-you-have-children-just-to-turn-your-focus/) [Jo Brand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-brand/) > [It's definitely hard to have relationships. When your life moves so quickly, people generally want replies on messenger apps and sometimes I don't get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonas-blue/it-s-definitely-hard-to-have-relationships-when-your-life-moves-so/) [Jonas Blue](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonas-blue/) ## More by Steven C. Hayes > [“If you were on a bus trying to go east in a maze of dirt roads in a large valley, you might not be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/if-you-were-on-a-bus-trying-to-go-east-in-a-maze-of-dirt-roads-in-a/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [If a therapist is feeling insecure in therapy, a lot of therapists will try to sort of push that aside to try to do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/if-a-therapist-is-feeling-insecure-in-therapy-a-lot-of-therapists/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [ACT psychology is a psychology of the normal. A lot of the psychologies that are out there are built on the psychology of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/act-psychology-is-a-psychology-of-the-normal-a-lot-of-the/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [If you aren't willing to have it, you will.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/if-you-aren-t-willing-to-have-it-you-will/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [Your history's not going to go away; it isn't the same thing as dirt on the floor or paint peeling off the walls; it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/your-history-s-not-going-to-go-away-it-isn-t-the-same-thing-as-dirt/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [I want good science, and I want it to be realistically marketed. I wouldn't like only two countries on the planet that allow pharmaceutical…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/i-want-good-science-and-i-want-it-to-be-realistically-marketed-i/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [The government ought to help out, because the average citizen can't go out and be doing reviews of the scientific literature. And focus on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/the-government-ought-to-help-out-because-the-average-citizen-can-t-go/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [The mental cognitive processes that we're targeting are ones that narrow human beings' repertoire and make it harder for them to learn to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/the-mental-cognitive-processes-that-we-re-targeting-are-ones-that/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [What keeps me up at night in a negative way is, if we don't solve the problems of the human heart and of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/what-keeps-me-up-at-night-in-a-negative-way-is-if-we-don-t-solve-the/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [There are times when you felt especially important to another person, or cared about or loved or accepted. Well, loving relationships aren't something you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/there-are-times-when-you-felt-especially-important-to-another-person/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [I kind of look at what's on the T-shirts and I see another solution, which also worries me. I see "Just do it." "No…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/i-kind-of-look-at-what-s-on-the-t-shirts-and-i-see-another-solution/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [The definition of happiness being very emotion-oriented - the problem is that there's too many quick and dirty ways to chase that in ways…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/the-definition-of-happiness-being-very-emotion-oriented-the-problem/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [But this cheap-thrill version, this sort of ease definition, the feel-good definition of happiness is an empty promise. Unless we get wiser as to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/but-this-cheap-thrill-version-this-sort-of-ease-definition-the-feel/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/get-out-of-your-mind-and-into-your-life/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) > [Our children are exposed to 10, 20, 30 times the number of words that our great-grandfathers were exposed to. We're exposed in a single…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-c-hayes/our-children-are-exposed-to-10-20-30-times-the-number-of-words-that/) [Steven C. Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) [Explore all 33 Steven C. Hayes quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-c-hayes/) ## More Betrayal quotes > [“That's the catch about betrayal, of course: that it feels good, that there's something immensely pleasurable about moving from a complicated relationship which involves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/that-s-the-catch-about-betrayal-of-course-that-it-feels-good-that/) [Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/) > [God’s faithfulness is stronger than our unfaithfulness and our infidelities.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-francis/god-s-faithfulness-is-stronger-than-our-unfaithfulness-and-our/) [Pope Francis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-francis/) > [“Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-auliq-ice/flattery-looks-like-friendship-just-like-a-wolf-looks-like-a-dog/) [Oscar Auliq-Ice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-auliq-ice/) > [There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/km-ii/there-is-no-deceit-in-death-it-delivers-precisely-what-it-has/) [KM II](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/km-ii/) > [If you leave someone for another person, don't be surprised if that person leaves you for someone else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-you-leave-someone-for-another-person-don-t-be-surprised-if-that/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“As they say in New York, Get over it and, if you can't get over it, Get over talking about it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/as-they-say-in-new-york-get-over-it-and-if-you-can-t-get-over-it-get/) [Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/) > [“He returned her gaze, yearning for sentimental solace; love which emanated from a familiar source, mattered little how bedevilling. They shared an intimate moment,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-h-septimius/he-returned-her-gaze-yearning-for-sentimental-solace-love-which/) [A. H. Septimius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-h-septimius/) > [I was always here for you,you knew you could count on me and trust me blindly, and you knew that I would never tell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-hayssus/i-was-always-here-for-you-you-knew-you-could-count-on-me-and-trust-me/) [Michael Hayssus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-hayssus/) > [Joy doesn't betray but sustains activism. And when you face a politics that aspires to make you fearful, alienated and isolated, joy is a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-solnit/joy-doesn-t-betray-but-sustains-activism-and-when-you-face-a-politics/) [Rebecca Solnit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-solnit/) > [“Betrayal and love are not mutually exclusive." (Mordred)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aldous-mercer/betrayal-and-love-are-not-mutually-exclusive-mordred/) [Aldous Mercer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aldous-mercer/) > [Love comes exactly... To those who still hope, even though they've been disappointed. To those who still believe, even though they've been betrayed and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mizhan/love-comes-exactly-to-those-who-still-hope-even-though-they-ve-been/) [Mizhan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mizhan/) > [For some people, a one-night stand doesn't make any difference in a seven-year love affair. I don't believe the degree of betrayal is always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/for-some-people-a-one-night-stand-doesn-t-make-any-difference-in-a/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [Betrayal is a serious thing in this world,you know what else is serious? Being lied to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sabrina/betrayal-is-a-serious-thing-in-this-world-you-know-what-else-is/) [Sabrina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sabrina/) > [The greatest temptation for the like of us is: to renounce violence, to repent, to make peace with oneself. Most revolutionaries fell before this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-koestler/the-greatest-temptation-for-the-like-of-us-is-to-renounce-violence-to/) [Arthur Koestler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-koestler/) > [“Sarai, you never know who might betray you until it’s too late.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-a-redmerski/sarai-you-never-know-who-might-betray-you-until-it-s-too-late/) [J.A. Redmerski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-a-redmerski/) [Browse all 2,050 Betrayal quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/betrayal/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Most people are hurt deeply by betrayals in relationships. 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