--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It will be as if I'd never existed, he'd…" description: "\"It will be as if I'd never existed, he'd promised me. I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/stephenie-meyer-91_consciousness_it-will-be-as-if-i-d-never-existed-he-d_839352.png" --- # It will be as if I'd never existed, he'd promised me. I… ![“It will be as if I'd never existed, he'd promised me. I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that…” quote by Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/stephenie-meyer-91_consciousness_it-will-be-as-if-i-d-never-existed-he-d_839352.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/stephenie-meyer-91_consciousness_it-will-be-as-if-i-d-never-existed-he-d_839352.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/stephenie-meyer-91_consciousness_it-will-be-as-if-i-d-never-existed-he-d_839352.png) > “It will be as if I'd never existed, he'd promised me. I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under. I did not resurface.” [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A character experiences an intense, overwhelming physical and emotional pain that feels like drowning, symbolizing deep loss or trauma. **In simple terms:** She feels a crushing pain that overwhelms her. Key Takeaway Acknowledge and process deep emotional pain. Themes grief trauma vulnerability loss Mood somber introspective Type literary emotional When to use this quote - breakup - grief counseling - mental health crisis - personal loss Key Concepts psychological distress sensory overload existential crisis Questions to Reflect On - How do you cope with overwhelming grief? - What supports help you stay grounded during crisis? A Different Perspective Pain can be both physical and symbolic, and may not always be fully understood. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Consciousness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/consciousness/) [Disappointment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disappointment/) [Existed Promised](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/existed-promised-627397/) [Fainting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fainting/) [Fainting Disappointment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fainting-disappointment-627396/) [Hands](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hands/) [Hoped](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hoped/) [Hoped Fainting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hoped-fainting-627395/) [Knees](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knees/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [Palms](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/palms/) [Skins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/skins/) [Smooth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/smooth/) [Wave](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wave/) [Waves Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/waves-pain-627398/) ## Related quotes > [The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-waves-of-pain-that-had-only-lapped-at-me-before-now-reared-high/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“In the end, it is all we are, these limpid tide pools of self-consciousness between crashing waves of pain. We are destined and designed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-simmons/in-the-end-it-is-all-we-are-these-limpid-tide-pools-of-self/) [Dan Simmons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-simmons/) > [What is life? A gulf of troubled waters, where the soul, like a vexed bark, is tossed upon the waves of pain and pleasure…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/letitia-elizabeth-landon/what-is-life-a-gulf-of-troubled-waters-where-the-soul-like-a-vexed/) [Letitia Elizabeth Landon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/letitia-elizabeth-landon/) > [We did not hope for the same things, but we all hoped](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/we-did-not-hope-for-the-same-things-but-we-all-hoped/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [What language shall I borrow To thank Thee, dearest Friend, For this, Thy dying sorrow, Thy pity without end? O make me Thine forever,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-morgan/what-language-shall-i-borrow-to-thank-thee-dearest-friend-for-this/) [Robert Morgan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-morgan/) > [We speak much of the duty of making others happy. No day should pass, we say, on which we do not put a little…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-r-miller/we-speak-much-of-the-duty-of-making-others-happy-no-day-should-pass/) [J.R. Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-r-miller/) > [We had people fainting during the last tour, but I'm aiming for people to actually drop dead at this one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emilie-autumn/we-had-people-fainting-during-the-last-tour-but-i-m-aiming-for-people/) [Emilie Autumn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emilie-autumn/) > [If you can but give to the fainting soul at your door a cup of water from the wells of truth, it shall flash…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/moncure-d-conway/if-you-can-but-give-to-the-fainting-soul-at-your-door-a-cup-of-water/) [Moncure D. Conway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/moncure-d-conway/) > [And the rose like a nymph to the bath addrest, Which unveiled the depth of her glowing breast, Till, fold after fold, to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/percy-bysshe-shelley/and-the-rose-like-a-nymph-to-the-bath-addrest-which-unveiled-the/) [Percy Bysshe Shelley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/percy-bysshe-shelley/) > [O God! I screamed, and "O God! Again and again; for there before my eyes - pale and shaken, and half fainting, and groping…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-louis-stevenson/o-god-i-screamed-and-o-god-again-and-again-for-there-before-my-eyes/) [Robert Louis Stevenson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-louis-stevenson/) > [All through first and second and third hour, Eleanor rubbed her palm. Nothing happened. How could it be possible that there were that many…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rainbow-rowell/all-through-first-and-second-and-third-hour-eleanor-rubbed-her-palm/) [Rainbow Rowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rainbow-rowell/) > [“There was a very slight lilt to it, too, attesting to a childhood spent far from Lincolnshire, and Grace felt herself sway, as if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julia-quinn/there-was-a-very-slight-lilt-to-it-too-attesting-to-a-childhood-spent/) [Julia Quinn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julia-quinn/) > [“Clearly, this was another thing I needed to add to the: ‘repetitive cycle of things that were constantly happening in my life’ list, which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adele-rose/clearly-this-was-another-thing-i-needed-to-add-to-the-repetitive/) [Adele Rose](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adele-rose/) > [And thou hast stolen a jewel, Death! Shall light thy dark up like a Star. A Beacon kindling from afar Our light of love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gerald-massey/and-thou-hast-stolen-a-jewel-death-shall-light-thy-dark-up-like-a/) [Gerald Massey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gerald-massey/) > [“The floor scooped me up where I stood, and I blinked as it hit me”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-beth-bloom/the-floor-scooped-me-up-where-i-stood-and-i-blinked-as-it-hit-me/) [M. Beth Bloom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-beth-bloom/) ## More by Stephenie Meyer > [“That would be just like me-ruin everything, destroy the world, in a moment of klutziness.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/that-would-be-just-like-me-ruin-everything-destroy-the-world-in-a/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [“But suddenly something sharp was cutting me, my throat, my wrists, my ankles. I screamed in shock, thinking he'd brought me there to hurt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/but-suddenly-something-sharp-was-cutting-me-my-throat-my-wrists-my/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [I bit a pillow. Or two.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/i-bit-a-pillow-or-two/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [“Damn it! This chick runs with vampires!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/damn-it-this-chick-runs-with-vampires/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [“I'm hotter than you!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/i-m-hotter-than-you/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [Everything in my world was about him. What a silly thing to expect.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/everything-in-my-world-was-about-him-what-a-silly-thing-to-expect/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [“Alice: "I'll play you for it. Rock, paper, scissors." Edward: "Why don't you just tell me who wins?" Alice: "I do. Excellent.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/alice-i-ll-play-you-for-it-rock-paper-scissors-edward-why-don-t-you/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [“What can I give you, Wanda?” he insisted. I took a deep breath and tried to keep my voice steady.“Give me a lie, Jared.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/what-can-i-give-you-wanda-he-insisted-i-took-a-deep-breath-and-tried/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [Mike's eyes narrowed shrewdly. "Don't kid yourself, Bella. The guy's head over heels for you." "I know," I sighed. "Life is complicated." "And girls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/mike-s-eyes-narrowed-shrewdly-don-t-kid-yourself-bella-the-guy-s-head/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [“You know the story in the bible? The one with the king and the two women fighting over the baby? Sure King Solomon. That's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/you-know-the-story-in-the-bible-the-one-with-the-king-and-the-two/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [I’m exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been effortless for us — comfortable, easy as breathing. I was the natural path your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/i-m-exactly-right-for-you-bella-it-would-have-been-effortless-for-us/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [“I felt a surge of pity, and relief. Pity because, as beautiful as they were, they were outsiders, clearly not accepted. Relief that I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/i-felt-a-surge-of-pity-and-relief-pity-because-as-beautiful-as-they/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [I didn’t realize I was crying until it was time to say the blinding words. ‘I do,’ I managed to choke out in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/i-didn-t-realize-i-was-crying-until-it-was-time-to-say-the-blinding/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [“He placed his hands against the Jeep on either side of my head and leaned forward, forcing me to press back against the door.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/he-placed-his-hands-against-the-jeep-on-either-side-of-my-head-and/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) > [There was a different ending to New Moon originally. It was a much quieter book. It was very much all in Bellas head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/there-was-a-different-ending-to-new-moon-originally-it-was-a-much/) [Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) [Explore all 1,305 Stephenie Meyer quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/) ## More Consciousness quotes > [“You're never alone if you're with your soul.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gerard-armond-powell/you-re-never-alone-if-you-re-with-your-soul/) [Gerard Armond Powell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gerard-armond-powell/) > [“I now argue that entry into Upper Palaeolithic caves was probably seen as virtually indistinguishable from entry into the mental vortex that leads to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-david-lewis-williams/i-now-argue-that-entry-into-upper-palaeolithic-caves-was-probably/) [James David Lewis-Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-david-lewis-williams/) > [How wonderful it would be to scatter words as they rise to consciousness, to let them lie where they fall.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-scott/how-wonderful-it-would-be-to-scatter-words-as-they-rise-to/) [Joanna Scott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-scott/) > [“People and situations always show us what we need to see and learn about ourselves, and when we take responsibility for our own feelings,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eliza-mada-dalian/people-and-situations-always-show-us-what-we-need-to-see-and-learn/) [Eliza Mada Dalian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eliza-mada-dalian/) > [With the realization of God comes all power. If the little wave knew that behind it is the great ocean, it could say, "I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paramahansa-yogananda/with-the-realization-of-god-comes-all-power-if-the-little-wave-knew/) [Paramahansa Yogananda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paramahansa-yogananda/) > [We do not want to be reminded that it is we, the indigenous people, who are poor and exploited in the land of our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-biko/we-do-not-want-to-be-reminded-that-it-is-we-the-indigenous-people-who/) [Steven Biko](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-biko/) > [It is proposed that a form of free dialogue may well be one of the most effective ways of investigating the crisis which faces…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-bohm/it-is-proposed-that-a-form-of-free-dialogue-may-well-be-one-of-the/) [David Bohm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-bohm/) > [“Entropy is the normal state of consciousness—a condition that is neither useful nor enjoyable. To avoid this condition, people are naturally eager to fill…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mihaly-csikszentmihalyi/entropy-is-the-normal-state-of-consciousness-a-condition-that-is/) [Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mihaly-csikszentmihalyi/) > [The purpose is to be in gratitude forever. Live with applied consciousness, prosperity will break through the walls, flood you with it. You do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harbhajan-singh-yogi/the-purpose-is-to-be-in-gratitude-forever-live-with-applied/) [Harbhajan Singh Yogi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harbhajan-singh-yogi/) > [“No one has any right to tell you that the way you perceive yourself is wrong. Because by doing so, they also discourage the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kamand-kojouri/no-one-has-any-right-to-tell-you-that-the-way-you-perceive-yourself/) [Kamand Kojouri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kamand-kojouri/) > [A language possesses utility only insofar as it can construct conventional boundaries. A language of no boundaries is no language at all, and thus…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ken-wilber/a-language-possesses-utility-only-insofar-as-it-can-construct/) [Ken Wilber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ken-wilber/) > [So many people are passive participants in their very short time of having a consciousness, and those who aren't inspire me. Like Malala Yousafzai…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dylan-gelulla/so-many-people-are-passive-participants-in-their-very-short-time-of/) [Dylan Gelulla](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dylan-gelulla/) > [Floating in and out of consciousness...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/drake/floating-in-and-out-of-consciousness/) [Drake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/drake/) > [“The vision teller tells the vision to unguarded minds' of prey. The programmed.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-f-hodge/the-vision-teller-tells-the-vision-to-unguarded-minds-of-prey-the/) [T.F. Hodge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-f-hodge/) > [Human freedom involves our capacity to pause between the stimulus and response and, in that pause, to choose the one response toward which we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rollo-may/human-freedom-involves-our-capacity-to-pause-between-the-stimulus-and/) [Rollo May](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rollo-may/) [Browse all 6,062 Consciousness quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/consciousness/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It will be as if I'd never existed, he'd promised me. I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under. I did not resurface.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephenie Meyer" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/it-will-be-as-if-i-d-never-existed-he-d-promised-me-i-felt-the-smooth/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Consciousness" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/it-will-be-as-if-i-d-never-existed-he-d-promised-me-i-felt-the-smooth/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/stephenie-meyer-91_consciousness_it-will-be-as-if-i-d-never-existed-he-d_839352.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/stephenie-meyer-91_consciousness_it-will-be-as-if-i-d-never-existed-he-d_839352.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/stephenie-meyer-91_consciousness_it-will-be-as-if-i-d-never-existed-he-d_839352.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It will be as if I'd never existed, he'd promised me. I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and…” — Stephenie Meyer", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Stephenie Meyer", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "It will be as if I'd...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/it-will-be-as-if-i-d-never-existed-he-d-promised-me-i-felt-the-smooth/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/it-will-be-as-if-i-d-never-existed-he-d-promised-me-i-felt-the-smooth/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```