---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I realized that Sandra and I had been…"
description: "\"“I realized that Sandra and I had been getting social mileage out of our children’s good behavior, and, in our eyes, this son simply didn’t measure up...."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/831/stephen-r-covey-1501_child_i-realized-that-sandra-and-i-had-been-ge_393793.jpg"
---

#  I realized that Sandra and I had been getting social…

![“I realized that Sandra and I had been getting social mileage out of our children’s good behavior, and, in our eyes, this son simply didn’t measure up.” quote by Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/831/stephen-r-covey-1501_child_i-realized-that-sandra-and-i-had-been-ge_393793.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/831/stephen-r-covey-1501_child_i-realized-that-sandra-and-i-had-been-ge_393793.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/831/stephen-r-covey-1501_child_i-realized-that-sandra-and-i-had-been-ge_393793.jpg)

> ““I realized that Sandra and I had been getting social mileage out of our children’s good behavior, and, in our eyes, this son simply didn’t measure up.””

[Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The author admits using children’s behavior to boost personal image, revealing how adults may project expectations onto kids.

**In simple terms:** Parents sometimes use kids to enhance their own status.

Key Takeaway

Recognize and avoid using children for personal validation.

Themes

parenting self‑image expectations

Mood

reflective critical

Type

advice philosophical

When to use this quote

- family gatherings
- parent‑teacher meetings
- social media sharing

Key Concepts

psychology family dynamics self‑worth

Questions to Reflect On

- How do you value your child beyond achievements?
- What boundaries protect children from adult projections?

A Different Perspective

Children deserve autonomy, not as tools for adult ego.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Good behavior](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/good-behavior/)

## Related quotes

> [“The best which entailed from parents to children, is the good behavior.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/imam-ali/the-best-which-entailed-from-parents-to-children-is-the-good-behavior/)

[Imam Ali](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/imam-ali/)

> [We must conserve our environment and pass it on to our children in as good or better condition than it was passed to us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-kennedy/we-must-conserve-our-environment-and-pass-it-on-to-our-children-in-as/)

[Mark Kennedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-kennedy/)

> [A father is a man who expects his children to be as good as he meant to be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/a-father-is-a-man-who-expects-his-children-to-be-as-good-as-he-meant/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Children are a very good and very perceptive audience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernard-cribbins/children-are-a-very-good-and-very-perceptive-audience/)

[Bernard Cribbins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernard-cribbins/)

> [“And other times there would be tenderness and holding-close liek a warm bath, and hands stroking my hair and brow, and the words carved…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-keyes/and-other-times-there-would-be-tenderness-and-holding-close-liek-a/)

[Daniel Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-keyes/)

> [Do good in the name of children. Do good in the name of public health.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-caplan/do-good-in-the-name-of-children-do-good-in-the-name-of-public-health/)

[Arthur Caplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-caplan/)

> [“It's a long haul bringing up our children to be good; you have to keep doing that — bring them up — and that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erik-erikson/it-s-a-long-haul-bringing-up-our-children-to-be-good-you-have-to-keep/)

[Erik Erikson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erik-erikson/)

> [Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/children-have-never-been-very-good-at-listening-to-their-elders-but/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Active dads make a positive contribution: they are good for children and they are good for mothers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-lammy/active-dads-make-a-positive-contribution-they-are-good-for-children/)

[David Lammy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-lammy/)

> [It is true that as you have children, there are a good many months when you don't want to be working full-time. I agree…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sandra-day-o-connor/it-is-true-that-as-you-have-children-there-are-a-good-many-months/)

[Sandra Day O'Connor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sandra-day-o-connor/)

> [A children's story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children's story in the slightest.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/a-children-s-story-that-can-only-be-enjoyed-by-children-is-not-a-good-2/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“What makes people good communicators is, in essence, an ability not to be fazed by the more problematic or offbeat aspects of their own…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/what-makes-people-good-communicators-is-in-essence-an-ability-not-to/)

[Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/)

> [A children's story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children's story in the slightest." He also said: "No book…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis/a-children-s-story-that-can-only-be-enjoyed-by-children-is-not-a-good/)

[C. S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis/)

> [All I can say is this: what I'm doing with children is good, solid common sense.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-frost/all-i-can-say-is-this-what-i-m-doing-with-children-is-good-solid/)

[Jo Frost](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-frost/)

> [You write not for children but for yourself. And if by good fortune children enjoy what you enjoy, why then you are a writer…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-ransome/you-write-not-for-children-but-for-yourself-and-if-by-good-fortune/)

[Arthur Ransome](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-ransome/)

## More by Stephen R. Covey

> [“For those filled with regret, perhaps the most needful exercise of proactivity is to realize that past mistakes are also out there in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/for-those-filled-with-regret-perhaps-the-most-needful-exercise-of/)

[Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/)

> [“What lies behind us is nothing compared to what lies within us and ahead of us.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/what-lies-behind-us-is-nothing-compared-to-what-lies-within-us-and/)

[Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/)

> [“Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/love-is-something-you-do-the-sacrifices-you-make-the-giving-of-self/)

[Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/)

> [“Principles are guidelines for human conduct that are proven to have enduring, permanent value. They’re fundamental.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/principles-are-guidelines-for-human-conduct-that-are-proven-to-have/)

[Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/)

> [“So I recommend reading literature, such as the inspiring biography of Anwar Sadat, In Search of Identity, and seeing movies like Chariots of Fire…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/so-i-recommend-reading-literature-such-as-the-inspiring-biography-of/)

[Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/)

> [“My experience has been that there are times to teach and times not to teach. When relationships are strained and the air charged with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/my-experience-has-been-that-there-are-times-to-teach-and-times-not-to/)

[Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/)

> [“Just as faith without works is dead, so also works without faith.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/just-as-faith-without-works-is-dead-so-also-works-without-faith/)

[Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/)

> [“FRIEND/ENEMY CENTEREDNESS. Young people are particularly, though certainly not exclusively, susceptible to becoming friend-centered. Acceptance and belonging to a peer group can become almost…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/friend-enemy-centeredness-young-people-are-particularly-though/)

[Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/)

> [“As a principle-centered person, you see things differently. And because you see things differently, you think differently, you act differently. Because you have a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/as-a-principle-centered-person-you-see-things-differently-and-because/)

[Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/)

> [“We are free to choose our actions, based on our knowledge of correct principles, but we are not free to choose the consequences of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/we-are-free-to-choose-our-actions-based-on-our-knowledge-of-correct/)

[Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/)

> [“For every thousand hacking at the leaves of evil, there is one striking at the root.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/for-every-thousand-hacking-at-the-leaves-of-evil-there-is-one/)

[Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/)

> [“Breaking deeply imbedded habitual tendencies such as procrastination, impatience, criticalness, or selfishness that violate basic principles of human effectiveness involves more than a little…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/breaking-deeply-imbedded-habitual-tendencies-such-as-procrastination/)

[Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/)

> [“man you might like to take her out. If you were”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/man-you-might-like-to-take-her-out-if-you-were/)

[Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/)

> [“Start with the end in mind. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/start-with-the-end-in-mind/)

[Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/)

> [“the very problem created the opportunity to build a deep relationship that empowered us to work together as a strong complementary team.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/the-very-problem-created-the-opportunity-to-build-a-deep-relationship/)

[Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/)

[Explore all 230 Stephen R. Covey quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/)

## More Child quotes

> [The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/the-thing-about-hitting-kids-is-think-about-if-you-were-doing-the/)

[Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/)

> [“Children's lives are always beginning and adults' lives are always ending. Or is it the opposite? Your childhood is always ending and your adult…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-espach/children-s-lives-are-always-beginning-and-adults-lives-are-always/)

[Alison Espach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-espach/)

> [“As parents who make every effort we can to raise our children in loving security, we do not need to feel more guilt than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/as-parents-who-make-every-effort-we-can-to-raise-our-children-in/)

[Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/)

> [I want to make my music and be a happy woman, a good wife, a good mom and one day hopefully have a child…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leann-rimes/i-want-to-make-my-music-and-be-a-happy-woman-a-good-wife-a-good-mom/)

[LeAnn Rimes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leann-rimes/)

> [I would have done well as a gypsy child, I think. A circus baby. I coulda played a great street urchin or ragamuffin. Or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/natasha-lyonne/i-would-have-done-well-as-a-gypsy-child-i-think-a-circus-baby-i/)

[Natasha Lyonne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/natasha-lyonne/)

> [We're raising children who have little tolerance for disappointment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/we-re-raising-children-who-have-little-tolerance-for-disappointment/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

> [I'm a weirdo and an only child. That comes together to create one-woman shows.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-seales/i-m-a-weirdo-and-an-only-child-that-comes-together-to-create-one/)

[Amanda Seales](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-seales/)

> [“Every child is born as angel.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lailah-gifty-akita/every-child-is-born-as-angel/)

[Lailah Gifty Akita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lailah-gifty-akita/)

> [To assist a child we must provide him with an environment which will enable him to develop freely.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maria-montessori/to-assist-a-child-we-must-provide-him-with-an-environment-which-will/)

[Maria Montessori](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maria-montessori/)

> [Almost everywhere we find . . . the use of various coercive measures, to rid ourselves as quickly as possible of the child withinus--i.e.,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/almost-everywhere-we-find-the-use-of-various-coercive-measures-to-rid/)

[Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/)

> [Since I was a little child, my nose - I think it's too big.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/celine-dion/since-i-was-a-little-child-my-nose-i-think-it-s-too-big/)

[Celine Dion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/celine-dion/)

> [if we center our lives on BMWs, RVs, VCRs, PCs and the other acronyms of consumerism, we cannot expect our children to do otherwise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnnetta-b-cole/if-we-center-our-lives-on-bmws-rvs-vcrs-pcs-and-the-other-acronyms-of/)

[Johnnetta B. Cole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnnetta-b-cole/)

> [Bring up your children in the way you think other peoples children should go.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-parsai/bring-up-your-children-in-the-way-you-think-other-peoples-children/)

[Vikrant Parsai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-parsai/)

> [Parents who are stressed or disturbed will have more difficulty in meeting their children's needs. Parents who have little support--from friends, relatives, neighbors, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-kamerman/parents-who-are-stressed-or-disturbed-will-have-more-difficulty-in/)

Sheila Kamerman

> [My first three manuscripts were epic fantasy - like high fantasy - and then the fourth one was a historical fantasy about Mozart as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marie-lu/my-first-three-manuscripts-were-epic-fantasy-like-high-fantasy-and/)

[Marie Lu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marie-lu/)

[Browse all 10,700 Child quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“I realized that Sandra and I had been getting social mileage out of our children’s good behavior, and, in our eyes, this son simply didn’t measure up.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Stephen R. Covey"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/i-realized-that-sandra-and-i-had-been-getting-social-mileage-out-of/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Child"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/i-realized-that-sandra-and-i-had-been-getting-social-mileage-out-of/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/831/stephen-r-covey-1501_child_i-realized-that-sandra-and-i-had-been-ge_393793.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/831/stephen-r-covey-1501_child_i-realized-that-sandra-and-i-had-been-ge_393793.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/831/stephen-r-covey-1501_child_i-realized-that-sandra-and-i-had-been-ge_393793.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“I realized that Sandra and I had been getting social mileage out of our children’s good behavior, and, in…” — Stephen R. Covey",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Stephen R. Covey",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“I realized that Sandra and I...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/i-realized-that-sandra-and-i-had-been-getting-social-mileage-out-of/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/i-realized-that-sandra-and-i-had-been-getting-social-mileage-out-of/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
