--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Wanting things to be otherwise is the…" description: "\"Wanting things to be otherwise is the very essence of suffering. We almost never directly experience what pain is because our reaction to it is so imme..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1c/stephen-levine-6949_deals_wanting-things-to-be-otherwise-is-the-ve_1683890.png" --- # Wanting things to be otherwise is the very essence of… ![“Wanting things to be otherwise is the very essence of suffering. We almost never directly experience what pain is because our reaction to it is so immediate that most of what we call pain is actually our experience of resistance to that phenomenon. And the resistance is usually a good deal more…” quote by Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1c/stephen-levine-6949_deals_wanting-things-to-be-otherwise-is-the-ve_1683890.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1c/stephen-levine-6949_deals_wanting-things-to-be-otherwise-is-the-ve_1683890.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1c/stephen-levine-6949_deals_wanting-things-to-be-otherwise-is-the-ve_1683890.png) > “Wanting things to be otherwise is the very essence of suffering. We almost never directly experience what pain is because our reaction to it is so immediate that most of what we call pain is actually our experience of resistance to that phenomenon. And the resistance is usually a good deal more painful than the original sensation.” [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Suffering stems from wanting reality to differ from what it is; resistance to experience creates extra pain beyond the original feeling. **In simple terms:** Wanting change causes more pain than the event itself. Key Takeaway Accept reality to reduce suffering. Themes acceptance mindfulness suffering resistance Mood reflective calm insightful Type philosophical motivational When to use this quote - grief counseling - pain management - daily stress - relationship conflicts - health challenges Key Concepts Buddhist psychology cognitive reframing impermanence Questions to Reflect On - How does your resistance amplify pain? - What can you accept in this moment? A Different Perspective Acceptance may be difficult when change is desired; some situations require action despite discomfort. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Deals](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deals/) [Essence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/essence/) [Experience Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/experience-pain-233134/) [Experience Resistance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/experience-resistance-984233/) [Originals](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/originals/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [Pain Actually](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain-actually-507514/) [Painful](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/painful/) [Phenomenon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/phenomenon/) [Reactions](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/reactions/) [Resistance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/resistance/) [Sensations](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sensations/) [Suffering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suffering/) [Suffering Directly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suffering-directly-984232/) ## Related quotes > [“The greatest miracle is to be alive. We can put an end to our suffering just by realizing that our suffering is not worth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/th-ch-nh-t-h-nh/the-greatest-miracle-is-to-be-alive-we-can-put-an-end-to-our/) [Thích Nhất Hạnh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/th-ch-nh-t-h-nh/) > [“If you’re always taking, you will inevitably experience resistance and struggle. Without realizing it, you may be creating a firewall that is blocking you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-c-young/if-you-re-always-taking-you-will-inevitably-experience-resistance-and/) [Susan C. Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-c-young/) > [“I wouldn’t say “art” as much as “virtue,” in the ancient Greek sense of “andreia” – manly action – or “arete,” excellence. In my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-pressfield/i-wouldn-t-say-art-as-much-as-virtue-in-the-ancient-greek-sense-of/) [Steven Pressfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-pressfield/) > [When you experience resistance, you find the lessons that you are meant to learn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-gordon/when-you-experience-resistance-you-find-the-lessons-that-you-are/) [Jon Gordon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-gordon/) > [It is in general true that in order to create works of art one has to have leisure. On the other hand I think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marianne-moore/it-is-in-general-true-that-in-order-to-create-works-of-art-one-has-to/) [Marianne Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marianne-moore/) > [All models experience resistance during their modeling careers; the point is just to remain yourself and make meaningful and genuine decisions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maria-borges/all-models-experience-resistance-during-their-modeling-careers-the/) [Maria Borges](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maria-borges/) > [“The only people who experience no resistance are the unambitious and the dead. If you feel no resistance in your life, you need greater…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-maraboli/the-only-people-who-experience-no-resistance-are-the-unambitious-and/) [Steve Maraboli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-maraboli/) > [People say that the bad memories cause the most pain,but actually it's the good ones that drive you insane.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/people-say-that-the-bad-memories-cause-the-most-pain-but-actually-it-2/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [People say that bad memories causes the most pain, but actually it's the good ones that drive you insane.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/people-say-that-bad-memories-causes-the-most-pain-but-actually-it-s-2/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/often-the-thought-of-pain-is-actually-worse-that-the-pain-itself/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) > [“Pain actually steals a lot more than happiness from a person; it steals a part of the identity, of the soul.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alka-dimri-saklani-beyond-secrets/pain-actually-steals-a-lot-more-than-happiness-from-a-person-it/) [Alka Dimri Saklani, Beyond Secrets](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alka-dimri-saklani-beyond-secrets/) > [My pain never actually goes away. It fades...but the memory seems like it'll always stay.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/my-pain-never-actually-goes-away-it-fades-but-the-memory-seems-like/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“What's better, I thought, to be safe and suffer alone, or to risk pain and actually live?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-plum/what-s-better-i-thought-to-be-safe-and-suffer-alone-or-to-risk-pain/) [Amy Plum](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-plum/) > [People say that bad memories causes the most pain, but actually it's the good ones that drive you insane. But Sometimes the only thing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kemmy-nola/people-say-that-bad-memories-causes-the-most-pain-but-actually-it-s/) [Kemmy Nola](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kemmy-nola/) > [People say that the bad memories cause the most pain. But actually it�s the good ones that drive you insane.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/people-say-that-the-bad-memories-cause-the-most-pain-but-actually-it/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) ## More by Stephen Levine > [ “\[T\]hose who insist they've got their 'shit together' are usually standing in it at the time. (16)” ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/t-hose-who-insist-they-ve-got-their-shit-together-are-usually/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [“When you can accept discomfort, doing so allows a balance of mind. That surrender, that letting go of wanting anything to be other than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/when-you-can-accept-discomfort-doing-so-allows-a-balance-of-mind-that/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [Forgiveness is mental floss! Build the capacity to forgive slowly - start with little unkind acts, otherwise you'll sabotage yourself. When we forgive, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/forgiveness-is-mental-floss-build-the-capacity-to-forgive-slowly/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [If there is a single definition of healing it is to enter with mercy and awareness those pains, mental and physical, from which we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/if-there-is-a-single-definition-of-healing-it-is-to-enter-with-mercy/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/if-you-were-going-to-die-soon-and-had-only-one-phone-call-you-could/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [Relate to the fear, not just from it. (50)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/relate-to-the-fear-not-just-from-it-50/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [Love is not what we become, but what we already are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/love-is-not-what-we-become-but-what-we-already-are/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [...healing comes not from being loving but from being itself. It is not a case of being clear but of clear being. This healing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/healing-comes-not-from-being-loving-but-from-being-itself-it-is-not-a/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [If you want the other person more than anything else in the world, you're in major trouble and the relationship is a wobbly pivot.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/if-you-want-the-other-person-more-than-anything-else-in-the-world-you/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [Letting the last breath come. Letting the last breath go. Dissolving, dissolving into vast space, the light body released from its heavier form. A…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/letting-the-last-breath-come-letting-the-last-breath-go-dissolving/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [“A drop of pond water under the microscope just like in science class but now your are the pond & the microscope is mindfulness”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/a-drop-of-pond-water-under-the-microscope-just-like-in-science-class/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [If sequestered pain made a sound, the atmosphere would be humming all the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/if-sequestered-pain-made-a-sound-the-atmosphere-would-be-humming-all/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [In all serious disease states we find a concomitant low oxygen state... Low oxygen in the body tissues is a sure indicator for disease...Hypoxia,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/in-all-serious-disease-states-we-find-a-concomitant-low-oxygen-state/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [Clearly, all fear has an element of resistance and a leaning away from the moment. Its dynamic is not unlike that of strong desire…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/clearly-all-fear-has-an-element-of-resistance-and-a-leaning-away-from/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [The saddest part about being human is not paying attention. Presence is the gift of life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/the-saddest-part-about-being-human-is-not-paying-attention-presence/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) [Explore all 96 Stephen Levine quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) ## More Deals quotes > [Right now we're concerned about budget. Right now we're concerned about the prospect of interest rate rise. We're concerned about government corruption, government handing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amity-shlaes/right-now-we-re-concerned-about-budget-right-now-we-re-concerned/) [Amity Shlaes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amity-shlaes/) > [A lot of indigenous cultures are deeply involved in working with ancestor spirits, elemental spirits, and demons. Many of these cultures feel that, if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-pinchbeck/a-lot-of-indigenous-cultures-are-deeply-involved-in-working-with/) [Daniel Pinchbeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-pinchbeck/) > [ I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. \[salutes\] ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-hicks/i-ll-smoke-i-ll-cough-i-ll-get-the-tumors-i-ll-die-deal-thank-you/) [Bill Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-hicks/) > [Failure is a part of life and you have to learn to deal with it. Failure is something that is part of life's cycle…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colin-powell/failure-is-a-part-of-life-and-you-have-to-learn-to-deal-with-it/) [Colin Powell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colin-powell/) > [When you reach that competing point, when you reach that time when the gun is about to go off, everyone's level is pretty much…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/apolo-ohno/when-you-reach-that-competing-point-when-you-reach-that-time-when-the/) [Apolo Ohno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/apolo-ohno/) > [I think the next 50 years are going to present the human race with challenges that so far exceed the limitations of geopolitical boundaries…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zachary-quinto/i-think-the-next-50-years-are-going-to-present-the-human-race-with/) [Zachary Quinto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zachary-quinto/) > [Americans are very friendly and very suspicious, that is what Americans are and that is what always upsets the foreigner, who deals with them,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gertrude-stein/americans-are-very-friendly-and-very-suspicious-that-is-what/) [Gertrude Stein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gertrude-stein/) > [As a professional athlete and someone who has spent almost his entire life in boxing, not a day goes by when I don't think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-de-la-hoya/as-a-professional-athlete-and-someone-who-has-spent-almost-his-entire/) [Oscar De La Hoya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-de-la-hoya/) > [Okay, so I'll admit I'm curious. Big deal. We both know what that leads to. Dead cat.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-elizabeth-phillips/okay-so-i-ll-admit-i-m-curious-big-deal-we-both-know-what-that-leads/) [Susan Elizabeth Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-elizabeth-phillips/) > [I don't really resent being on the red carpet as much as I do having to deal with the paparazzi.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/megan-fox/i-don-t-really-resent-being-on-the-red-carpet-as-much-as-i-do-having/) [Megan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/megan-fox/) > [I think kids growing up, if they were picked on and feeling inferior at 12, they're going to feel that way at 72. You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvester-stallone/i-think-kids-growing-up-if-they-were-picked-on-and-feeling-inferior/) [Sylvester Stallone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvester-stallone/) > [You know, by the time you reach my age, you've made plenty of mistakes if you've lived your life properly. So you learn. You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ronald-reagan/you-know-by-the-time-you-reach-my-age-you-ve-made-plenty-of-mistakes/) [Ronald Reagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ronald-reagan/) > [ By profession a biologist, \[Thomas Henry Huxley\] covered in fact the whole field of the exact sciences, and then bulged through its four fences.… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-l-mencken/by-profession-a-biologist-thomas-henry-huxley-covered-in-fact-the/) [H. L. Mencken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/h-l-mencken/) > [I deal with the obvious. I present, reiterate, and glorify the obvious - because the obvious is what people need to be told.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dale-carnegie/i-deal-with-the-obvious-i-present-reiterate-and-glorify-the-obvious/) [Dale Carnegie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dale-carnegie/) > [But when you have to deal with notes, and to be able to make a full definition of what a sound is - if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-brown/but-when-you-have-to-deal-with-notes-and-to-be-able-to-make-a-full/) [Dennis Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-brown/) [Browse all 7,121 Deals quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deals/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Wanting things to be otherwise is the very essence of suffering. We almost never directly experience what pain is because our reaction to it is so immediate that most of what we call pain is actually our experience of resistance to that phenomenon. And the resistance is usually a good deal more painful than the original sensation.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Levine" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/wanting-things-to-be-otherwise-is-the-very-essence-of-suffering-we/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Deals" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/wanting-things-to-be-otherwise-is-the-very-essence-of-suffering-we/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1c/stephen-levine-6949_deals_wanting-things-to-be-otherwise-is-the-ve_1683890.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1c/stephen-levine-6949_deals_wanting-things-to-be-otherwise-is-the-ve_1683890.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1c/stephen-levine-6949_deals_wanting-things-to-be-otherwise-is-the-ve_1683890.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Wanting things to be otherwise is the very essence of suffering. We almost never directly experience what…” — Stephen Levine", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Stephen Levine", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Wanting things to be otherwise is...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/wanting-things-to-be-otherwise-is-the-very-essence-of-suffering-we/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/wanting-things-to-be-otherwise-is-the-very-essence-of-suffering-we/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```