--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Our suffering is caused by holding on to…" description: "\"Our suffering is caused by holding on to how things might have been, should have been, could have been.\" — Stephen Levine" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddd/stephen-levine-6949_caused_our-suffering-is-caused-by-holding-on-to_3197718.jpg" --- # Our suffering is caused by holding on to how things might… ![“Our suffering is caused by holding on to how things might have been, should have been, could have been.” quote by Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddd/stephen-levine-6949_caused_our-suffering-is-caused-by-holding-on-to_3197718.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddd/stephen-levine-6949_caused_our-suffering-is-caused-by-holding-on-to_3197718.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddd/stephen-levine-6949_caused_our-suffering-is-caused-by-holding-on-to_3197718.jpg) > “Our suffering is caused by holding on to how things might have been, should have been, could have been.” [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. We suffer when we cling to imagined past or future versions of reality, preventing present acceptance. **In simple terms:** Holding onto imagined outcomes causes pain. Key Takeaway Release expectations, embrace now. Themes acceptance mindfulness attachment pain Mood reflective calm thoughtful Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - grief counseling - relationship conflict - career setbacks - personal growth Key Concepts impermanence expectation self-compassion Questions to Reflect On - What imagined outcome is you clinging to? - How does acceptance change your experience? A Different Perspective Letting go can be difficult when identity is tied to those expectations. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Caused](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/caused/) [Caused Holding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/caused-holding-5924196/) [Could have been](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/could-have-been/) [Has beens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/has-beens/) [Holding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/holding/) [Holding on](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/holding-on/) [Might](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/might/) [Might have been](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/might-have-been/) [Should](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/should/) [Should have](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/should-have/) [Should have been](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/should-have-been/) [Suffering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suffering/) [Suffering Caused](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suffering-caused/) ## Related quotes > [Be who you are, said the Duchess to Alice, or, if you would like it put more simply, never try to be what you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-carroll/be-who-you-are-said-the-duchess-to-alice-or-if-you-would-like-it-put/) [Lewis Carroll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-carroll/) > [Nine-tenths of our suffering is caused by others not thinking so much of us as we think they ought.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-lyon/nine-tenths-of-our-suffering-is-caused-by-others-not-thinking-so-much/) [Mary Lyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-lyon/) > [“Human suffering has been caused because too many of us cannot grasp that words are only tools for our use, and that the mere…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-dawkins/human-suffering-has-been-caused-because-too-many-of-us-cannot-grasp/) [Richard Dawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-dawkins/) > [God knows we have our own demons to be cast out, our own uncleanness to be cleansed. Neurotic anxiety happens to be my own…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-buechner/god-knows-we-have-our-own-demons-to-be-cast-out-our-own-uncleanness/) [Frederick Buechner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-buechner/) > [You really can't worry about stuff you can't control... You need to focus on getting where you need to be and not worry about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robbie-lawler/you-really-can-t-worry-about-stuff-you-can-t-control-you-need-to/) [Robbie Lawler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robbie-lawler/) > [Think of US slavery in 1850, or the subjection of women. Both of these injustices could have been - and were! - defended by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-pogge/think-of-us-slavery-in-1850-or-the-subjection-of-women-both-of-these/) [Thomas Pogge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-pogge/) > [I'm happy with my career but I could have been happier if I could have been treated like a champion should have been treated…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-holmes/i-m-happy-with-my-career-but-i-could-have-been-happier-if-i-could/) [Larry Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-holmes/) > [Thousands of years of ideological, philosophical and practical decisions were made. They altered the surface of the earth, the coordinates of our souls. For…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arundhati-roy/thousands-of-years-of-ideological-philosophical-and-practical/) [Arundhati Roy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arundhati-roy/) > [From '86 until the summer of last year, wherever I went, people would say, You would have made a great James Bond! Weren't you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pierce-brosnan/from-86-until-the-summer-of-last-year-wherever-i-went-people-would/) [Pierce Brosnan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pierce-brosnan/) > [“Blaming others doesn’t help you make the shift into courage and recognizing the support of Spirit and your own soul working together. Blaming yourself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colette-baron-reid/blaming-others-doesn-t-help-you-make-the-shift-into-courage-and/) [Colette Baron Reid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colette-baron-reid/) > [Suffering is caused by desire. Desire is wanting something you don't have, wishing something were some way it isn't, or being otherwise generally dissatisfied…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/suffering-is-caused-by-desire-desire-is-wanting-something-you-don-t/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [“Darya Alexandrovna, in a dressing jacket, and with her now scanty, once luxuriant and beautiful hair fastened up with hairpins on the nape of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/darya-alexandrovna-in-a-dressing-jacket-and-with-her-now-scanty-once/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [For me, moral questions such as stem-cell research turn upon whether suffering is caused. In this case, clearly none is. The embryos have no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-dawkins/for-me-moral-questions-such-as-stem-cell-research-turn-upon-whether/) [Richard Dawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-dawkins/) > [A lot of mental suffering is caused by unrealistic conclusions we jump to. Use logic and reason to create a conclusion that brings relief.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/a-lot-of-mental-suffering-is-caused-by-unrealistic-conclusions-we/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [All suffering is caused by ignorance. People inflict pain on others in the selfish pursuit of their happiness or satisfaction.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/all-suffering-is-caused-by-ignorance-people-inflict-pain-on-others-in/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Stephen Levine > [ “\[T\]hose who insist they've got their 'shit together' are usually standing in it at the time. (16)” ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/t-hose-who-insist-they-ve-got-their-shit-together-are-usually/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [“When you can accept discomfort, doing so allows a balance of mind. That surrender, that letting go of wanting anything to be other than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/when-you-can-accept-discomfort-doing-so-allows-a-balance-of-mind-that/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [Forgiveness is mental floss! Build the capacity to forgive slowly - start with little unkind acts, otherwise you'll sabotage yourself. When we forgive, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/forgiveness-is-mental-floss-build-the-capacity-to-forgive-slowly/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [If there is a single definition of healing it is to enter with mercy and awareness those pains, mental and physical, from which we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/if-there-is-a-single-definition-of-healing-it-is-to-enter-with-mercy/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/if-you-were-going-to-die-soon-and-had-only-one-phone-call-you-could/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [Relate to the fear, not just from it. (50)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/relate-to-the-fear-not-just-from-it-50/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [Love is not what we become, but what we already are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/love-is-not-what-we-become-but-what-we-already-are/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [...healing comes not from being loving but from being itself. It is not a case of being clear but of clear being. This healing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/healing-comes-not-from-being-loving-but-from-being-itself-it-is-not-a/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [If you want the other person more than anything else in the world, you're in major trouble and the relationship is a wobbly pivot.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/if-you-want-the-other-person-more-than-anything-else-in-the-world-you/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [Letting the last breath come. Letting the last breath go. Dissolving, dissolving into vast space, the light body released from its heavier form. A…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/letting-the-last-breath-come-letting-the-last-breath-go-dissolving/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [“A drop of pond water under the microscope just like in science class but now your are the pond & the microscope is mindfulness”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/a-drop-of-pond-water-under-the-microscope-just-like-in-science-class/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [If sequestered pain made a sound, the atmosphere would be humming all the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/if-sequestered-pain-made-a-sound-the-atmosphere-would-be-humming-all/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [In all serious disease states we find a concomitant low oxygen state... Low oxygen in the body tissues is a sure indicator for disease...Hypoxia,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/in-all-serious-disease-states-we-find-a-concomitant-low-oxygen-state/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [Clearly, all fear has an element of resistance and a leaning away from the moment. Its dynamic is not unlike that of strong desire…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/clearly-all-fear-has-an-element-of-resistance-and-a-leaning-away-from/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) > [The saddest part about being human is not paying attention. Presence is the gift of life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/the-saddest-part-about-being-human-is-not-paying-attention-presence/) [Stephen Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) [Explore all 96 Stephen Levine quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/) ## More Caused quotes > [“Opening yourself up only caused trouble in the end.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shana-norris/opening-yourself-up-only-caused-trouble-in-the-end/) [Shana Norris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shana-norris/) > [Spiritual infirmities such as tepidity are caused, not only by chills but also by fevers, that is, by excessive zeal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/spiritual-infirmities-such-as-tepidity-are-caused-not-only-by-chills/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I worked on one speech about the financial system that caused the Dow to drop, like, 200 points.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-lovett/i-worked-on-one-speech-about-the-financial-system-that-caused-the-dow/) [Jon Lovett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-lovett/) > [Sometimes people who want to understand Haiti from a political perspective may be missing part of the picture. They also need to look at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-bertrand-aristide/sometimes-people-who-want-to-understand-haiti-from-a-political/) [Jean-Bertrand Aristide](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-bertrand-aristide/) > [Some of your problems were caused by you, and you won't be able to move on or learn from it until you admit that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/some-of-your-problems-were-caused-by-you-and-you-won-t-be-able-to/) [Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/) > [There's no excuse for bullying. I don't care what caused it. Whatever it was doesn't make it acceptable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindsay-hoyle/there-s-no-excuse-for-bullying-i-don-t-care-what-caused-it-whatever/) [Lindsay Hoyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindsay-hoyle/) > [The next day, Greg is so large that he cannot even ride the car to school because he can't fit in the car. His…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-next-day-greg-is-so-large-that-he-cannot-even-ride-the-car-to/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [We know the pain the president has caused our society and his family and his friends, but we know, too, how much the president…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-ruff/we-know-the-pain-the-president-has-caused-our-society-and-his-family/) [Charles Ruff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-ruff/) > [The Y2K problem is not caused by technical limitations. We simply forgot to think of the problem.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hasso-plattner/the-y2k-problem-is-not-caused-by-technical-limitations-we-simply/) [Hasso Plattner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hasso-plattner/) > [This funny little film we did called 'Sharknado' has caused so much buzz, I would have never imagined. It's literally caused more buzz than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassie-scerbo/this-funny-little-film-we-did-called-sharknado-has-caused-so-much/) [Cassie Scerbo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassie-scerbo/) > [Most emissions aren't caused by individuals, they're caused by corporations and states.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greta-thunburg/most-emissions-aren-t-caused-by-individuals-they-re-caused-by/) [Greta Thunburg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greta-thunburg/) > [Cancer is caused by what you do for many, many years, not what you do for a few weeks or months.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joel-fuhrman/cancer-is-caused-by-what-you-do-for-many-many-years-not-what-you-do/) [Joel Fuhrman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joel-fuhrman/) > [The 2011 riots in England, which left five dead and caused more than $300 million in property damage, were fueled by a generation of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-barr/the-2011-riots-in-england-which-left-five-dead-and-caused-more-than/) [Bob Barr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-barr/) > [The East caused all the problems and the West gets all the blame.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-fowler/the-east-caused-all-the-problems-and-the-west-gets-all-the-blame/) [Steve Fowler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-fowler/) > [You have to understand what caused genocide to happen. Or it will happen again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-walz/you-have-to-understand-what-caused-genocide-to-happen-or-it-will/) [Tim Walz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-walz/) [Browse all 190 Caused quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/caused/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Our suffering is caused by holding on to how things might have been, should have been, could have been.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Levine" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/our-suffering-is-caused-by-holding-on-to-how-things-might-have-been/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Caused" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/our-suffering-is-caused-by-holding-on-to-how-things-might-have-been/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddd/stephen-levine-6949_caused_our-suffering-is-caused-by-holding-on-to_3197718.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddd/stephen-levine-6949_caused_our-suffering-is-caused-by-holding-on-to_3197718.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddd/stephen-levine-6949_caused_our-suffering-is-caused-by-holding-on-to_3197718.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Our suffering is caused by holding on to how things might have been, should have been, could have been.” — Stephen Levine", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Stephen Levine", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-levine/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Our suffering is caused by holding...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/our-suffering-is-caused-by-holding-on-to-how-things-might-have-been/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-levine/our-suffering-is-caused-by-holding-on-to-how-things-might-have-been/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```