--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It is a little theory of mine that has…" description: "\"It is a little theory of mine that has much exercised my mind lately, that most of the problems of this silly and delightful world derive from our apol..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d63/stephen-fry-573_apologising_it-is-a-little-theory-of-mine-that-has-m_2860636.jpg" --- # It is a little theory of mine that has much exercised my… ![“It is a little theory of mine that has much exercised my mind lately, that most of the problems of this silly and delightful world derive from our apologising for those things which we ought not to apologise for, and failing to apologise for those things for which apology is necessary.” quote by Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d63/stephen-fry-573_apologising_it-is-a-little-theory-of-mine-that-has-m_2860636.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d63/stephen-fry-573_apologising_it-is-a-little-theory-of-mine-that-has-m_2860636.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d63/stephen-fry-573_apologising_it-is-a-little-theory-of-mine-that-has-m_2860636.jpg) > “It is a little theory of mine that has much exercised my mind lately, that most of the problems of this silly and delightful world derive from our apologising for those things which we ought not to apologise for, and failing to apologise for those things for which apology is necessary.” [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Apologizing for unnecessary things and neglecting needed apologies cause social friction. **In simple terms:** Apologize appropriately. Key Takeaway Reflect before apologizing; be sincere when needed. Themes etiquette apology social norms self‑awareness Mood witty thoughtful Type philosophical educational When to use this quote - public speaking - interpersonal conflict Key Concepts communication theory psychology of guilt cultural expectations Questions to Reflect On - When is an apology unnecessary? - What are the consequences of unearned apologies? A Different Perspective Misapology can erode trust. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Apologising](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/apologising/) [Apology](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/apology/) [Delightful](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/delightful/) [Mind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mind/) [Problem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/problem/) [Psychology](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychology/) [Silly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/silly/) [World](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/world/) ## Related quotes > [I guess just personally I've become a bolder person in my day-to-day. I think a lot of it came from moving to Brooklyn. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fernando-torres/i-guess-just-personally-i-ve-become-a-bolder-person-in-my-day-to-day/) [Fernando Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fernando-torres/) > [ I spent a lot of time \[between takes\] apologising to Peter Dinklage \[Dance's on-screen son, Tyrion Lannister\] because I treat him appallingly. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-dance/i-spent-a-lot-of-time-between-takes-apologising-to-peter-dinklage/) [Charles Dance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-dance/) > [Even when apologising, this guy turns on the charm. And the worst thing is that it works. She had reached a point in her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/guillaume-musso/even-when-apologising-this-guy-turns-on-the-charm-and-the-worst-thing/) [Guillaume Musso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/guillaume-musso/) > [The Canadian government has had a field day apologising for past policies towards a series of ethnic groups: Italian, Ukrainian, Sikh, Chinese, Japanese and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-macmillan/the-canadian-government-has-had-a-field-day-apologising-for-past/) [Margaret MacMillan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-macmillan/) > [I fight the same way as my dad! I've picked that up from him. We both get angry really fast and very intensely, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tove-lo/i-fight-the-same-way-as-my-dad-i-ve-picked-that-up-from-him-we-both/) [Tove Lo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tove-lo/) > [Most of all, Im sorry for apologising all the time. Maybe Ishould stop fucking up so much. I love you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hemantsmarty/most-of-all-im-sorry-for-apologising-all-the-time-maybe-ishould-stop/) Hemantsmarty > [I express myself the way I want. Sometimes, I know, I do put up posts that might be insensitive, but I am not someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karan-patel/i-express-myself-the-way-i-want-sometimes-i-know-i-do-put-up-posts/) [Karan Patel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karan-patel/) > [I'm conscious of apologising, because I think people apologise too much.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-owens/i-m-conscious-of-apologising-because-i-think-people-apologise-too-much/) [Rick Owens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-owens/) > [“I think we each have a certain number of unnecessary apologies, which we willingly dish out before we realize it's time to stand and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-rachelle/i-think-we-each-have-a-certain-number-of-unnecessary-apologies-which/) [Joyce Rachelle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-rachelle/) > [“The one thing you should never do to a woman, whether you make love to her or fuck her, is apologise straight after.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dianna-hardy/the-one-thing-you-should-never-do-to-a-woman-whether-you-make-love-to/) [Dianna Hardy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dianna-hardy/) > [Writing comes from that territory of being invalidated. But I had a sense of purpose, too. I wanted to stop apologising for my health,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hilary-mantel/writing-comes-from-that-territory-of-being-invalidated-but-i-had-a/) [Hilary Mantel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hilary-mantel/) > [It is with the approach of winter that cats...wear their richest fur and assume an air of sumptuous and delightful opulence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pierre-loti/it-is-with-the-approach-of-winter-that-cats-wear-their-richest-fur/) [Pierre Loti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pierre-loti/) > [“I never met a pig I didn't like. All pigs are intelligent, emotional, and sensitive souls. They all love company. They all crave contact…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sy-montgomery/i-never-met-a-pig-i-didn-t-like-all-pigs-are-intelligent-emotional/) [Sy Montgomery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sy-montgomery/) > [In a delightful garden, sowing, planting or digging are not hardship but are done with a zeal and a certain pleasure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-luther/in-a-delightful-garden-sowing-planting-or-digging-are-not-hardship/) [Martin Luther](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-luther/) > [The more perfect the sight is the more delightful the beautiful object. The more perfect the appetite, the sweeter the food. The more musical…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-baxter/the-more-perfect-the-sight-is-the-more-delightful-the-beautiful/) [Richard Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-baxter/) ## More by Stephen Fry > [“...Catholic versus Protestant, essentially. It's that kind of fight. ... And it goes on to this day. Will we never learn? Who knows? Religion.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/catholic-versus-protestant-essentially-it-s-that-kind-of-fight-and-it/) [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) > [How dare you? How dare you create a world in which there is such misery that is not our fault? It's not right, it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/how-dare-you-how-dare-you-create-a-world-in-which-there-is-such/) [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) > [“Look at the kind of people who most object to the childishness and cheapness of celebrity culture. Does one really want to side with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/look-at-the-kind-of-people-who-most-object-to-the-childishness-and/) [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) > [“The object of love should feel honoured or flattered, responsible in some way. Instead he felt insulted, degraded and revolted. More than that, he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/the-object-of-love-should-feel-honoured-or-flattered-responsible-in/) [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) > [The only people who are obsessed with food are anorexics and the morbidly obese. That, in erotic terms, is the Catholic church, in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/the-only-people-who-are-obsessed-with-food-are-anorexics-and-the/) [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) > [To me, reason is as spiritual as anything else, the beauty of reason seems to me indelible and ineffable and numinous... the spirit is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/to-me-reason-is-as-spiritual-as-anything-else-the-beauty-of-reason/) [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) > [The stranger might laugh and seem to enjoy the writing, but you hug to yourself the thought that they didn't quite understand its force…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/the-stranger-might-laugh-and-seem-to-enjoy-the-writing-but-you-hug-to/) [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) > [“The future is a much bigger deal than the past,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/the-future-is-a-much-bigger-deal-than-the-past/) [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) > [I gather a repulsive nobody writing in a paper no one of any decency would be seen dead with has written something loathesome and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/i-gather-a-repulsive-nobody-writing-in-a-paper-no-one-of-any-decency/) [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) > [I've never had any illusions about being a lead actor in films, because lead actors have to be of a certain kind. Apart from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/i-ve-never-had-any-illusions-about-being-a-lead-actor-in-films/) [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) > [Because, let's face it, I do not get offered the parts that Brad Pitt has just turned down.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/because-let-s-face-it-i-do-not-get-offered-the-parts-that-brad-pitt/) [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) > [I will defend the absolute value of Mozart over Miley Cyrus, of course I will, but we should be wary of false dichotomies. You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/i-will-defend-the-absolute-value-of-mozart-over-miley-cyrus-of-course/) [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) > [You can't just say there is a god because the world is beautiful. You have to account for bone cancer in children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/you-can-t-just-say-there-is-a-god-because-the-world-is-beautiful-you/) [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) > [If you know someone who's depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn't a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/if-you-know-someone-who-s-depressed-please-resolve-never-to-ask-them/) [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) > [It's as if scientists exert every effort of will they possess deliberately to find the least significant problems in the world and explain them.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/it-s-as-if-scientists-exert-every-effort-of-will-they-possess/) [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) [Explore all 466 Stephen Fry quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) ## More Apologising quotes > [Writing comes from that territory of being invalidated. But I had a sense of purpose, too. I wanted to stop apologising for my health,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hilary-mantel/writing-comes-from-that-territory-of-being-invalidated-but-i-had-a/) [Hilary Mantel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hilary-mantel/) > [“The one thing you should never do to a woman, whether you make love to her or fuck her, is apologise straight after.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dianna-hardy/the-one-thing-you-should-never-do-to-a-woman-whether-you-make-love-to/) [Dianna Hardy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dianna-hardy/) > [“I think we each have a certain number of unnecessary apologies, which we willingly dish out before we realize it's time to stand and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-rachelle/i-think-we-each-have-a-certain-number-of-unnecessary-apologies-which/) [Joyce Rachelle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-rachelle/) > [I'm conscious of apologising, because I think people apologise too much.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-owens/i-m-conscious-of-apologising-because-i-think-people-apologise-too-much/) [Rick Owens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-owens/) > [I express myself the way I want. Sometimes, I know, I do put up posts that might be insensitive, but I am not someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karan-patel/i-express-myself-the-way-i-want-sometimes-i-know-i-do-put-up-posts/) [Karan Patel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karan-patel/) > [Most of all, Im sorry for apologising all the time. Maybe Ishould stop fucking up so much. I love you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hemantsmarty/most-of-all-im-sorry-for-apologising-all-the-time-maybe-ishould-stop/) Hemantsmarty > [I fight the same way as my dad! I've picked that up from him. We both get angry really fast and very intensely, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tove-lo/i-fight-the-same-way-as-my-dad-i-ve-picked-that-up-from-him-we-both/) [Tove Lo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tove-lo/) > [The Canadian government has had a field day apologising for past policies towards a series of ethnic groups: Italian, Ukrainian, Sikh, Chinese, Japanese and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-macmillan/the-canadian-government-has-had-a-field-day-apologising-for-past/) [Margaret MacMillan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-macmillan/) > [Even when apologising, this guy turns on the charm. And the worst thing is that it works. She had reached a point in her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/guillaume-musso/even-when-apologising-this-guy-turns-on-the-charm-and-the-worst-thing/) [Guillaume Musso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/guillaume-musso/) > [ I spent a lot of time \[between takes\] apologising to Peter Dinklage \[Dance's on-screen son, Tyrion Lannister\] because I treat him appallingly. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-dance/i-spent-a-lot-of-time-between-takes-apologising-to-peter-dinklage/) [Charles Dance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-dance/) > [I guess just personally I've become a bolder person in my day-to-day. I think a lot of it came from moving to Brooklyn. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fernando-torres/i-guess-just-personally-i-ve-become-a-bolder-person-in-my-day-to-day/) [Fernando Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fernando-torres/) [Browse all 12 Apologising quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/apologising/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It is a little theory of mine that has much exercised my mind lately, that most of the problems of this silly and delightful world derive from our apologising for those things which we ought not to apologise for, and failing to apologise for those things for which apology is necessary.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Fry" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/it-is-a-little-theory-of-mine-that-has-much-exercised-my-mind-lately/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Apologising" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/it-is-a-little-theory-of-mine-that-has-much-exercised-my-mind-lately/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d63/stephen-fry-573_apologising_it-is-a-little-theory-of-mine-that-has-m_2860636.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d63/stephen-fry-573_apologising_it-is-a-little-theory-of-mine-that-has-m_2860636.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d63/stephen-fry-573_apologising_it-is-a-little-theory-of-mine-that-has-m_2860636.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It is a little theory of mine that has much exercised my mind lately, that most of the problems of this…” — Stephen Fry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Stephen Fry", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "It is a little theory of...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/it-is-a-little-theory-of-mine-that-has-much-exercised-my-mind-lately/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/it-is-a-little-theory-of-mine-that-has-much-exercised-my-mind-lately/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```