---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Charlie, you’re missing the point. The…"
description: "\"“Charlie, you’re missing the point. The point is that I don’t think you would have acted different even if you did like Mary Elizabeth. It’s like you c..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dce/stephen-chbosky-387_friend-said_charlie-you-re-missing-the-point-the-poi_161559.png"
---

#  Charlie, you’re missing the point. The point is that I…

![“Charlie, you’re missing the point. The point is that I don’t think you would have acted different even if you did like Mary Elizabeth. It’s like you can come to Patrick’s rescue and hurt two guys that are trying to hurt him, but what about when Patrick’s hurting himself? Like when you guys went to…” quote by Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dce/stephen-chbosky-387_friend-said_charlie-you-re-missing-the-point-the-poi_161559.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dce/stephen-chbosky-387_friend-said_charlie-you-re-missing-the-point-the-poi_161559.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dce/stephen-chbosky-387_friend-said_charlie-you-re-missing-the-point-the-poi_161559.png)

> ““Charlie, you’re missing the point. The point is that I don’t think you would have acted different even if you did like Mary Elizabeth. It’s like you can come to Patrick’s rescue and hurt two guys that are trying to hurt him, but what about when Patrick’s hurting himself? Like when you guys went to that park? Or when he was kissing you? Did you want him to kiss you?” I shook my head no. “So, why did you let him?” “I was just trying to be a friend,” I said. “But you weren’t, Charlie. At those times, you weren’t being his friend at all. Because you weren’t honest with him.””

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The speaker criticizes a friend for failing to be honest and supportive, highlighting how misplaced loyalty can cause harm.

**In simple terms:** Friendship requires honesty and genuine care, not just showing up.

Key Takeaway

Be truthful and protect those you care about.

Themes

friendship honesty responsibility

Mood

concerned reflective

Type

advice philosophical

When to use this quote

- conflict resolution
- personal relationships
- supporting friends

Key Concepts

ethical behavior emotional intelligence

Questions to Reflect On

- How can you balance support with honesty?
- What signs show a friend is being untruthful?

A Different Perspective

Loyalty without honesty can enable harm.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

## Related quotes

> [She (Judy Garland) was a friend of mine, a trying friend, but a friend. That is what I tell myself: She did everything she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/liza-minnelli/she-judy-garland-was-a-friend-of-mine-a-trying-friend-but-a-friend/)

[Liza Minnelli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/liza-minnelli/)

> [Fed up of the lieing fed up of the crying your not worth trying go take you and your other friend and go oh…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koolio/fed-up-of-the-lieing-fed-up-of-the-crying-your-not-worth-trying-go/)

Koolio

> [A few days ago I realised I'm the one trying to be friend with everyone . So I stopped. I lost people I never…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shmoopy/a-few-days-ago-i-realised-i-m-the-one-trying-to-be-friend-with/)

Shmoopy

> [“Once people reach a certain level in this business, they stop trying. And my friend hasn’t. And for that, I admire her and am…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leah-remini/once-people-reach-a-certain-level-in-this-business-they-stop-trying/)

[Leah Remini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leah-remini/)

> [I'm done trying to be your friend cause all you've been lately is a backstabbing b\*tch. Go find someone else to treat like sh\*t.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-m-done-trying-to-be-your-friend-cause-all-you-ve-been-lately-is-a/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“I hate it when people say they’re trying to be your friend. You shouldn’t have to try to be somebody’s friend. Either you like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-wing-smith/i-hate-it-when-people-say-they-re-trying-to-be-your-friend-you/)

[Emily Wing Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-wing-smith/)

> [I think sometimes we rush through countries, ticking off the attractions, but that's missing the point.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mem-fox/i-think-sometimes-we-rush-through-countries-ticking-off-the/)

[Mem Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mem-fox/)

> [“You're missing the point. It's not that I believe in what Lee's saying; it's that I hope he's right. I really, really hope he's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-bracken/you-re-missing-the-point-it-s-not-that-i-believe-in-what-lee-s-saying/)

[Alexandra Bracken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-bracken/)

> [If you holding up the wall then you missing the point](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pharoahe-monch/if-you-holding-up-the-wall-then-you-missing-the-point/)

[Pharoahe Monch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pharoahe-monch/)

> [My advice to anybody, including myself, is if you're going through a bad period, and you just can't see the world's on your shoulders…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-bruce-cameron/my-advice-to-anybody-including-myself-is-if-you-re-going-through-a/)

[W. Bruce Cameron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-bruce-cameron/)

> [Certainty is missing the point entirely.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/certainty-is-missing-the-point-entirely/)

[Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/)

> [People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/people-who-see-life-as-anything-more-than-pure-entertainment-are/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

> [It was important for him to believe that he'd spent his life among people who kept missing the point.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-delillo/it-was-important-for-him-to-believe-that-he-d-spent-his-life-among/)

[Don DeLillo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/don-delillo/)

> [You're missing the point! There's no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/the-avengers/you-re-missing-the-point-there-s-no-throne-there-is-no-version-of/)

[The Avengers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/the-avengers/)

> [I have been missing the point. The point is not knowing another person, or learning to love another person. The point is simply this:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-wells/i-have-been-missing-the-point-the-point-is-not-knowing-another-person/)

[Rebecca Wells](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-wells/)

## More by Stephen Chbosky

> [Sam dropped me off. When she was too far away to see me, I started to cry again. Because she was my friend again.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/sam-dropped-me-off-when-she-was-too-far-away-to-see-me-i-started-to/)

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

> [“It's great that you can listen and be a shoulder to someone, but what about when someone doesn't need a shoulder. What if they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/it-s-great-that-you-can-listen-and-be-a-shoulder-to-someone-but-what/)

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

> [Most of the people I know who were raised to be accommodating or were raised to just be nice and put everybody's needs ahead…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/most-of-the-people-i-know-who-were-raised-to-be-accommodating-or-were/)

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

> [I don’t want to start thinking again. Not like I have this last week. I can’t think again. Not ever again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/i-don-t-want-to-start-thinking-again-not-like-i-have-this-last-week-i/)

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

> [“And then Patrick started running after the sunset. And Sam immediately followed him. And I saw them in silhouette. Running after the sun. Then,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/and-then-patrick-started-running-after-the-sunset-and-sam-immediately/)

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

> [That was always my hope that that is exactly what I would do. It was always part of the dream of this story -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/that-was-always-my-hope-that-that-is-exactly-what-i-would-do-it-was/)

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

> [And she says she wants to expose me to all these great things. And to tell you the truth, I don't really want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/and-she-says-she-wants-to-expose-me-to-all-these-great-things-and-to/)

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

> [“I'm sorry I bothered you, Susan. I'm just having a tough time. That's all. Have a good one," I said and walked away.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/i-m-sorry-i-bothered-you-susan-i-m-just-having-a-tough-time-that-s/)

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

> [When we were all getting ready to leave, I walked up to my grandfather and gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/when-we-were-all-getting-ready-to-leave-i-walked-up-to-my-grandfather/)

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

> [It's like he would take a photograph of Sam, and the photograph would be beautiful. And he would think that the reason the photograph…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/it-s-like-he-would-take-a-photograph-of-sam-and-the-photograph-would/)

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

> [Five minutes of a lifetime were truly spent, and we felt young in a good way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/five-minutes-of-a-lifetime-were-truly-spent-and-we-felt-young-in-a/)

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

> [I feel like a big faker because I've been putting my life back together, and nobody knows.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/i-feel-like-a-big-faker-because-i-ve-been-putting-my-life-back/)

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

> [“So, this is my life. And I want you to know I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/so-this-is-my-life-and-i-want-you-to-know-i-am-both-happy-and-sad-and/)

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

> [If you care about somebody, you should want them to be happy. Even if you wind up being left out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/if-you-care-about-somebody-you-should-want-them-to-be-happy-even-if/)

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

> [I wasn't raised very religiously because my parents went to Catholic school, but I do believe in God very much. I just never gave…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/i-wasn-t-raised-very-religiously-because-my-parents-went-to-catholic/)

[Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

[Explore all 558 Stephen Chbosky quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/)

## More Friend Said quotes

> [One friend said, "Donnie Darko movie was weird!" And I thought, "Hmm. I don't think we're as good of friends as I thought." It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-grant/one-friend-said-donnie-darko-movie-was-weird-and-i-thought-hmm-i-don/)

[Beth Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-grant/)

> [“A friend complained that his brother-in-law had phoned and woken him up in the middle of the night. The brother-in-law said, “I like to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-jourdan/a-friend-complained-that-his-brother-in-law-had-phoned-and-woken-him/)

[Carolyn Jourdan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-jourdan/)

> [“A friend of mine once said that she didn't believe in coincidence, that it was God working in her life, not a coincidence every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-cameron/a-friend-of-mine-once-said-that-she-didn-t-believe-in-coincidence/)

[Barbara Cameron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-cameron/)

> [My friend said he didn't have time for Twitter like me, he has a job I replied shut the fuck up &amp; lend me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/my-friend-said-he-didn-t-have-time-for-twitter-like-me-he-has-a-job-i/)

[Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/)

> [I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-went-to-a-restaurant-with-my-friend-and-he-said-pass-the-salt-i/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

> [My friend said to me, 'You don't look good,' - because all the time I have to think about law and justice and courts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bikram-choudhury/my-friend-said-to-me-you-don-t-look-good-because-all-the-time-i-have/)

[Bikram Choudhury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bikram-choudhury/)

> [Even my closest friend said I was finished, but I think I may be a little different from the others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/namie-amuro/even-my-closest-friend-said-i-was-finished-but-i-think-i-may-be-a/)

[Namie Amuro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/namie-amuro/)

> [A friend once said, and I found to be true,That everyday people, they lie to God too,So what makes you think, that they won't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauryn-hill/a-friend-once-said-and-i-found-to-be-true-that-everyday-people-they/)

[Lauryn Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauryn-hill/)

> [A discussion between Haldane and a friend began to take a predictable turn. The friend said with a sigh, 'It's no use going on.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-b-s-haldane/a-discussion-between-haldane-and-a-friend-began-to-take-a-predictable/)

[John B. S. Haldane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-b-s-haldane/)

> [A friend said to me I'm like a walking New Yorker article. It's true! That's how I write. That's how I think.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jose-antonio-vargas/a-friend-said-to-me-i-m-like-a-walking-new-yorker-article-it-s-true/)

[Jose Antonio Vargas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jose-antonio-vargas/)

> [“one day my best friend said to me 'Jess, you rock a lot of polka dots' and that was the deal breaker, now we're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zooey-deschanel/one-day-my-best-friend-said-to-me-jess-you-rock-a-lot-of-polka-dots/)

[Zooey Deschanel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zooey-deschanel/)

> [“Pops, he’s more than just Brennan’s friend,” I said. “And mine.” I”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sloane-kennedy/pops-he-s-more-than-just-brennan-s-friend-i-said-and-mine-i/)

[Sloane Kennedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sloane-kennedy/)

> [A friend of mine said to me a year ago, "You're so lucky, Nancy, because Ronnie left you the library," She said, "You have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-reagan/a-friend-of-mine-said-to-me-a-year-ago-you-re-so-lucky-nancy-because/)

[Nancy Reagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-reagan/)

> [“Also, she’s shacking up with our friend,” I said. “That’s not much to go on.” “Is there an echo on this line?” I asked,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barry-eisler/also-she-s-shacking-up-with-our-friend-i-said-that-s-not-much-to-go/)

[Barry Eisler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barry-eisler/)

> [My friend said to me, You know what I like? Mashed potatoes. I was like, Dude, you have to give me time to guess.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/my-friend-said-to-me-you-know-what-i-like-mashed-potatoes-i-was-like/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

Browse all 95 Friend Said quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“Charlie, you’re missing the point. The point is that I don’t think you would have acted different even if you did like Mary Elizabeth. It’s like you can come to Patrick’s rescue and hurt two guys that are trying to hurt him, but what about when Patrick’s hurting himself? Like when you guys went to that park? Or when he was kissing you? Did you want him to kiss you?” I shook my head no. “So, why did you let him?” “I was just trying to be a friend,” I said. “But you weren’t, Charlie. At those times, you weren’t being his friend at all. Because you weren’t honest with him.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Stephen Chbosky"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/charlie-you-re-missing-the-point-the-point-is-that-i-don-t-think-you/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Friend Said"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/charlie-you-re-missing-the-point-the-point-is-that-i-don-t-think-you/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dce/stephen-chbosky-387_friend-said_charlie-you-re-missing-the-point-the-poi_161559.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dce/stephen-chbosky-387_friend-said_charlie-you-re-missing-the-point-the-poi_161559.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dce/stephen-chbosky-387_friend-said_charlie-you-re-missing-the-point-the-poi_161559.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Charlie, you’re missing the point. The point is that I don’t think you would have acted different even if…” — Stephen Chbosky",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Stephen Chbosky",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“Charlie, you’re missing the point. The...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/charlie-you-re-missing-the-point-the-point-is-that-i-don-t-think-you/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/charlie-you-re-missing-the-point-the-point-is-that-i-don-t-think-you/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
