--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If you are not going to pretend you are…" description: "\"“If you are not going to pretend you are problem-free, at least show everyone you are deeply ashamed. 5. If you are not going to either pretend to be p..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/070/stephen-arterburn-27128_act-ashamed_if-you-are-not-going-to-pretend-you-are_1623819.jpg" --- # If you are not going to pretend you are problem-free, at… ![“If you are not going to pretend you are problem-free, at least show everyone you are deeply ashamed. 5. If you are not going to either pretend to be perfect or act ashamed, don’t show up.” quote by Stephen Arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/070/stephen-arterburn-27128_act-ashamed_if-you-are-not-going-to-pretend-you-are_1623819.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/070/stephen-arterburn-27128_act-ashamed_if-you-are-not-going-to-pretend-you-are_1623819.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/070/stephen-arterburn-27128_act-ashamed_if-you-are-not-going-to-pretend-you-are_1623819.jpg) > ““If you are not going to pretend you are problem-free, at least show everyone you are deeply ashamed. 5. If you are not going to either pretend to be perfect or act ashamed, don’t show up.”” [Stephen Arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Pretending to be flawless or merely ashamed is disingenuous; authenticity requires confronting imperfections openly. **In simple terms:** Avoid false pretenses; be genuine. Key Takeaway Own your flaws, show honesty. Themes authenticity integrity self-awareness Mood reflective serious Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - personal relationships - public speaking - leadership - conflict resolution Key Concepts psychology social dynamics Questions to Reflect On - How can you balance humility with confidence? - When is it appropriate to reveal imperfections? A Different Perspective People may misinterpret honesty as weakness. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet ## Related quotes > [“If you do develop a major problem, it is the result of your deep spiritual weakness. 3. Since this weakness makes the church look…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/if-you-do-develop-a-major-problem-it-is-the-result-of-your-deep/) [Stephen Arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) > [“I’ll pretend to be anyone or anything other than myself, but the problem is that no one is ever fooled.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leila-sales/i-ll-pretend-to-be-anyone-or-anything-other-than-myself-but-the/) [leila sales](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leila-sales/) > [Eating disorders can be extremely isolating, they can tear you away from your family and your friends and make you feel really ashamed of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zara-mcdermott/eating-disorders-can-be-extremely-isolating-they-can-tear-you-away/) [Zara McDermott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zara-mcdermott/) > [“I seem to feel ashamed of going out and getting merry - I find it oddly humiliating - but I'm quite happy to sit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-franklin/i-seem-to-feel-ashamed-of-going-out-and-getting-merry-i-find-it-oddly/) [Dave Franklin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-franklin/) > [“Look, little son," she said. "Many times I do not answer you when you ask me things, and other times I simply talk about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jos-antonio-villareal/look-little-son-she-said-many-times-i-do-not-answer-you-when-you-ask/) José Antonio Villareal > [There's nothing, repeat, nothing to be ashamed of when you're going through a depression. If you get help, the chances of your licking it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-wallace/there-s-nothing-repeat-nothing-to-be-ashamed-of-when-you-re-going/) [Mike Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-wallace/) > [I'm not ashamed of anything I've done, because if I feel ashamed, I'm not going to do it in the first place.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tionne-watkins/i-m-not-ashamed-of-anything-i-ve-done-because-if-i-feel-ashamed-i-m/) [Tionne Watkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tionne-watkins/) > [Nobody's perfect, and to try to pretend you're perfect is an exhausting fool's errand.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rosemary-mahoney/nobody-s-perfect-and-to-try-to-pretend-you-re-perfect-is-an/) [Rosemary Mahoney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rosemary-mahoney/) > [Should we pretend to be perfect or be ourselves, I promise it'll be worth it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/raghib-clitso/should-we-pretend-to-be-perfect-or-be-ourselves-i-promise-it-ll-be/) [Raghib Clitso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/raghib-clitso/) > [Everybody has bad qualities. We don't have to pretend that we're perfect.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-povitsky/everybody-has-bad-qualities-we-don-t-have-to-pretend-that-we-re/) [Esther Povitsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-povitsky/) > [ “Mothers have to pretend to be perfect\[.\] If we didn't, anarchy would rule the world. But most of the time we're just doing the… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-ball/mothers-have-to-pretend-to-be-perfect-if-we-didn-t-anarchy-would-rule/) [Donna Ball](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-ball/) > [I don't pretend to be perfect. I want people to see me as I am.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-stewart/i-don-t-pretend-to-be-perfect-i-want-people-to-see-me-as-i-am/) [Kristen Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-stewart/) > [“When you're a stupid girl in love, it's almost impossible to see the red flags. It's so easy to pretend they're not there, to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heather-demetrios/when-you-re-a-stupid-girl-in-love-it-s-almost-impossible-to-see-the/) [Heather Demetrios](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heather-demetrios/) > [I don't pretend to be perfect.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-payette/i-don-t-pretend-to-be-perfect/) [Julie Payette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-payette/) > [Life is too short to pretend to be someone you are not. The only perfect person you can be is yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shraddha/life-is-too-short-to-pretend-to-be-someone-you-are-not-the-only/) Shraddha ## More by Stephen Arterburn > [“Macho men, without their grief, must find a way to gain power and control over their environment. They have a unique way of rationalizing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/macho-men-without-their-grief-must-find-a-way-to-gain-power-and/) [Stephen Arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) > [“Outcasts can interpret reality for themselves. Even when their perception of reality contradicts that of hundreds or thousands of followers, they can clearly see…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/outcasts-can-interpret-reality-for-themselves-even-when-their/) [Stephen Arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) > [“In a toxic-faith system, loyalty is equated with blind faith and complete agreement with the leader.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/in-a-toxic-faith-system-loyalty-is-equated-with-blind-faith-and/) [Stephen Arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) > [“God has given us the freedom to make choices. Some choices will be better than others. The worst ones will cause us discomfort and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/god-has-given-us-the-freedom-to-make-choices-some-choices-will-be/) [Stephen Arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) > [“People in pain have enough problems without some well-meaning folks trying to short-circuit the grief process by declaring that everything is a good event…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/people-in-pain-have-enough-problems-without-some-well-meaning-folks/) [Stephen Arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) > [“You certainly don’t “need” to evangelize. You can rest assured that God is perfectly capable of bringing people to himself in His own good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/you-certainly-don-t-need-to-evangelize-you-can-rest-assured-that-god/) [stephen arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) > [“13Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/13three-things-will-last-forever-faith-hope-and-love-and-the-greatest/) [Stephen Arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) > [“In a toxic system, the toxic minister sets himself or herself up as having a special destiny or mission that can be performed by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/in-a-toxic-system-the-toxic-minister-sets-himself-or-herself-up-as/) [Stephen Arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) > [“17So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/17so-you-see-faith-by-itself-isn-t-enough-unless-it-produces-good/) [Stephen Arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) > [“If you do develop a major problem, it is the result of your deep spiritual weakness. 3. Since this weakness makes the church look…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/if-you-do-develop-a-major-problem-it-is-the-result-of-your-deep/) [Stephen Arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) > [“When ministers wield absolute authority, everyone loses, even God.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/when-ministers-wield-absolute-authority-everyone-loses-even-god/) [Stephen Arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) > [“   23Pride ends in humiliation,         while humility brings honor.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/23pride-ends-in-humiliation-while-humility-brings-honor/) [Stephen Arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) > [“Misguided loyalty allows the delusions of the leader to grow and destroys the faith of the loyal.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/misguided-loyalty-allows-the-delusions-of-the-leader-to-grow-and/) [Stephen Arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) > [“Upon my eighteenth birthday I was given three choices: 1. Join the church, and live at home. 2. Move out and live on my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/upon-my-eighteenth-birthday-i-was-given-three-choices-1-join-the/) [Stephen Arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) > [“We are as sick as our secrets.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/we-are-as-sick-as-our-secrets/) [Stephen Arterburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) [Explore all 21 Stephen Arterburn quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“If you are not going to pretend you are problem-free, at least show everyone you are deeply ashamed. 5. If you are not going to either pretend to be perfect or act ashamed, don’t show up.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Arterburn" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/if-you-are-not-going-to-pretend-you-are-problem-free-at-least-show/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Act Ashamed" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/if-you-are-not-going-to-pretend-you-are-problem-free-at-least-show/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/070/stephen-arterburn-27128_act-ashamed_if-you-are-not-going-to-pretend-you-are_1623819.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/070/stephen-arterburn-27128_act-ashamed_if-you-are-not-going-to-pretend-you-are_1623819.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/070/stephen-arterburn-27128_act-ashamed_if-you-are-not-going-to-pretend-you-are_1623819.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you are not going to pretend you are problem-free, at least show everyone you are deeply ashamed. 5. If…” — Stephen Arterburn", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Stephen Arterburn", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-arterburn/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“If you are not going to...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/if-you-are-not-going-to-pretend-you-are-problem-free-at-least-show/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-arterburn/if-you-are-not-going-to-pretend-you-are-problem-free-at-least-show/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```