--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It's a physical sickness. Etienne. How…" description: "\"“It's a physical sickness. Etienne. How much I love him. I love Etienne. I love it when he cocks an eyebrow whenever I say something he finds clever or..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc0/stephanie-perkins-482_brown-eyes_it-s-a-physical-sickness-etienne-how-muc_2792935.jpg" --- # It's a physical sickness. Etienne. How much I love him. I… ![“It's a physical sickness. Etienne. How much I love him. I love Etienne. I love it when he cocks an eyebrow whenever I say something he finds clever or amusing. I love listening to his boots clomp across my bedroom ceiling. I love that the accent over his first name is called an acute accent, and…” quote by Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc0/stephanie-perkins-482_brown-eyes_it-s-a-physical-sickness-etienne-how-muc_2792935.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc0/stephanie-perkins-482_brown-eyes_it-s-a-physical-sickness-etienne-how-muc_2792935.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc0/stephanie-perkins-482_brown-eyes_it-s-a-physical-sickness-etienne-how-muc_2792935.jpg) > ““It's a physical sickness. Etienne. How much I love him. I love Etienne. I love it when he cocks an eyebrow whenever I say something he finds clever or amusing. I love listening to his boots clomp across my bedroom ceiling. I love that the accent over his first name is called an acute accent, and that he has a cute accent. I love that. I love sitting beside him in physics. Brushing against him during lands. His messy handwriting on our worksheets. I love handing him his backpack when class is over,because then my fingers smell like him for the next ten minutes. And when Amanda says something lame, and he seeks me out to exchange an eye roll-I love that,too. I love his boyish laugh and his wrinkled shirts and his ridiculous knitted hat. I love his large brown eyes,and the way he bites his nails,and I love his hair so much I could die. There's only one thing I don't love about him. Her. If I didn't like Ellie before,it's nothing compared to how I feel now. It doesn't matter that I can count how many times we've met on one hand. It's that first image, that's what I can't shake. Under the streeplamp. Her fingers in his hair. Anytime I'm alone, my mind wanders back to that night. I take it further. She touches his chest. I take it further.His bedroom.He slips off her dress,their lips lock, their bodies press,and-oh my God-my temperature rises,and my stomach is sick. I fantasize about their breakup. How he could hurt her,and she could hurt him,and of all the ways I could hurt her back. I want to grab her Parisian-styled hair and yank it so hard it rips from her skull. I want to sink my claws into her eyeballs and scrape. It turns out I am not a nice person. Etienne and I rarely discussed her before, but she's completely taboo now. Which tortures me, because since we've gotten back from winter break, they seem to be having problems again. Like an obsessed stalker,I tally the evenings he spend with me versus the evening he spends with her. I'm winning.”” [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Intense affection for a lover intertwines with jealousy and violent fantasies toward a rival, exposing conflicted emotions and moral turmoil. **In simple terms:** Love and jealousy clash, leading to dark thoughts. Key Takeaway Acknowledge and address harmful impulses. Themes love jealousy conflict violence Mood distressed intense Type personal psychological When to use this quote - relationship dynamics - mental health - self‑reflection Key Concepts attachment moral conflict fantasy Questions to Reflect On - What underlying needs fuel the jealousy? - How can one transform harmful thoughts into healthy actions? A Different Perspective Such fantasies can signal unresolved emotional pain and need for help. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Brown eyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/brown-eyes/) ## Related quotes > [“It's a physical sickness. Étienne. How much I love him. I love Étienne. I love that the accent over his first name is called…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/it-s-a-physical-sickness-tienne-how-much-i-love-him-i-love-tienne-i/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“We're in her bedroom,and she's helping me write an essay about my guniea pig for French class. She's wearing soccer shorts with a cashmere…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/we-re-in-her-bedroom-and-she-s-helping-me-write-an-essay-about-my/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“When you are with somebody you love the smallest, smallest things can be so important, so amusing because love transforms the world, everything. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-mccall-smith/when-you-are-with-somebody-you-love-the-smallest-smallest-things-can/) [Alexander McCall Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-mccall-smith/) > [“Well,Anna.It's Matt or the minivan. I'm not making the choice for you." I choose my ex.We used to be good friends,so I'm sort of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/well-anna-it-s-matt-or-the-minivan-i-m-not-making-the-choice-for-you/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“What are you doing here?" He takes a deep breath. "I came for you." "And how on EARTH did you know I was up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/what-are-you-doing-here-he-takes-a-deep-breath-i-came-for-you-and-how/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“Anna?" "Yeah?" He pauses. "Never mind." "What?" "Nothing." But his tone is definitely not nothing. I turn to him, and his eyes are closed.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/anna-yeah-he-pauses-never-mind-what-nothing-but-his-tone-is/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [I am naturally a nice person and will give anyone the benefit of the doubt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cynthia-bailey/i-am-naturally-a-nice-person-and-will-give-anyone-the-benefit-of-the/) [Cynthia Bailey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cynthia-bailey/) > [“and confused if someone does not appreciate their niceness. Others often sense this and avoid giving them feedback not only, effectively blocking the nice…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kelly-bryson/and-confused-if-someone-does-not-appreciate-their-niceness-others/) [Kelly Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kelly-bryson/) > [“She took care of evyone with the same no-nonsense air of friendliness and good cheer that made her seem so paradoxically wholesome, as if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-perrotta/she-took-care-of-evyone-with-the-same-no-nonsense-air-of-friendliness/) [Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) > [This is what happens when nice people are pushed too far. We give too many chances, and so when we've finally had enough, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deb-caletti/this-is-what-happens-when-nice-people-are-pushed-too-far-we-give-too/) [Deb Caletti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deb-caletti/) > [I'm A Nice Person,When People Step All Over Me I Brush Off The Shoe Prints And Keep Moving.But Karma Awaits…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexanderstuart/i-m-a-nice-person-when-people-step-all-over-me-i-brush-off-the-shoe/) [AlexanderStuart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexanderstuart/) > [“The kindness made Joaquin crosser, because there’s nothing like knowing that you were just a heel to a nice person to make you even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maggie-stiefvater/the-kindness-made-joaquin-crosser-because-there-s-nothing-like/) [Maggie Stiefvater](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maggie-stiefvater/) > [I remember being a 17-year-old wheelchair basketballer at the Paralympics. I just wanted to beat everybody, but I also wanted to do it in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dylan-alcott/i-remember-being-a-17-year-old-wheelchair-basketballer-at-the/) [Dylan Alcott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dylan-alcott/) > [Everybody has an inside scoop, so just be a nice guy. Be a nice person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-hartley/everybody-has-an-inside-scoop-so-just-be-a-nice-guy-be-a-nice-person/) [Justin Hartley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-hartley/) > [Men are fair, and they have learned not to personalize anger - they can disagree with you and argue to the bone, but afterward…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/men-are-fair-and-they-have-learned-not-to-personalize-anger-they-can/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) ## More by Stephanie Perkins > [“This warmth over the telephone. Is it possible for home to be a person and not a place? Bridgette used to be home to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/this-warmth-over-the-telephone-is-it-possible-for-home-to-be-a-person/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“I wasn't being a git. I wasn't even being a twat, or a wanker, or any of your other bleeding Briticisms -”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/i-wasn-t-being-a-git-i-wasn-t-even-being-a-twat-or-a-wanker-or-any-of/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“You said on my birthday that you were afraid of being alone, but I’ve been here this whole time. This whole time.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/you-said-on-my-birthday-that-you-were-afraid-of-being-alone-but-i-ve/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“Lola: Do you think things have to be easy? For it to work? Cricket: NO. I mean, yes, but... sometimes there are... extenuating circumstances.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/lola-do-you-think-things-have-to-be-easy-for-it-to-work-cricket-no-i/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“Sometimes a mistake isn't a what. It's a who.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/sometimes-a-mistake-isn-t-a-what-it-s-a-who/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“And that. Why don’t you call me Étienne anymore?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/and-that-why-don-t-you-call-me-tienne-anymore/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“Thanks. I forgot how to flip off the English. I'll use the correct hand gesture next time." "My pleasure. Always happy to educate.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/thanks-i-forgot-how-to-flip-off-the-english-i-ll-use-the-correct-hand/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“Beautiful. He called me beautiful! But wait. I don't like Dave. Do I like Dave?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/beautiful-he-called-me-beautiful-but-wait-i-don-t-like-dave-do-i-like/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“You can't undo loss. You can't unmake a mistake.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/you-can-t-undo-loss-you-can-t-unmake-a-mistake/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“They didn’t talk much, but their silence was companionable.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/they-didn-t-talk-much-but-their-silence-was-companionable/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“We're enveloped in pitch black. "Wait here," I whisper. "Are you getting your ax?" "Handcuffs." "Kinky. But, okay, I'll try it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/we-re-enveloped-in-pitch-black-wait-here-i-whisper-are-you-getting/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“And, suddenly, I want to touch him. Not a push, or a shove, or even a friendly hug. I want to feel the creases…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/and-suddenly-i-want-to-touch-him-not-a-push-or-a-shove-or-even-a/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“My face is round, and my cheeks are pinchable, and my ears stick out farther than I'd like.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/my-face-is-round-and-my-cheeks-are-pinchable-and-my-ears-stick-out/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“There's something about blue eyes. The kind of blue that startles you every time they're lifted in your direction. The kind of blue that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/there-s-something-about-blue-eyes-the-kind-of-blue-that-startles-you/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) > [“I'm a little distracted by this English French American Boy Masterpiece.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/i-m-a-little-distracted-by-this-english-french-american-boy/) [Stephanie Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) [Explore all 500 Stephanie Perkins quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/) ## More Brown eyes quotes > [“He wrapped his arms around her waist and looked at her through those intense brown eyes she loved. "I wanted you when I thought…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-gibson/he-wrapped-his-arms-around-her-waist-and-looked-at-her-through-those/) [Rachel Gibson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-gibson/) > [“His dark brown eyes shifted to my covered arms. "You didn't do that-did you? It was done to you?"No one ever asked that question.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-mcgarry/his-dark-brown-eyes-shifted-to-my-covered-arms-you-didn-t-do-that-did/) [Katie McGarry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-mcgarry/) > [A blue eye is a true eye; Mysterious is a dark one, Which flashes like a spark sun! A black eye is the best…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-rounseville-alger/a-blue-eye-is-a-true-eye-mysterious-is-a-dark-one-which-flashes-like/) [William Rounseville Alger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-rounseville-alger/) > [“Judy Pilger—and we followed them, crossing back and forth in a rowboat. But it was Frankie and Chris Nucci my sisters and I had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carole-radziwill/judy-pilger-and-we-followed-them-crossing-back-and-forth-in-a-rowboat/) [Carole Radziwill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carole-radziwill/) > [“Oh, that is very generous of you.” And thoughtful. Her heart stirred strangely inside her as she looked up into his warm brown eyes.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melanie-dickerson/oh-that-is-very-generous-of-you-and-thoughtful-her-heart-stirred/) [Melanie Dickerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melanie-dickerson/) > [“He was very tall, with long arms and legs that would be gawky and awkward on anyone else, but were graceful and elegant on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-kauffman/he-was-very-tall-with-long-arms-and-legs-that-would-be-gawky-and/) [Donna Kauffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-kauffman/) > [Having blue eyes is actually a mutation. Before the mutation occurred, all humans had brown eyes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/having-blue-eyes-is-actually-a-mutation-before-the-mutation-occurred/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [It all started in 2007 when I first saw you and I told my self I got to make this come true.your eyes got…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jas-rob/it-all-started-in-2007-when-i-first-saw-you-and-i-told-my-self-i-got/) Jas&rob > [“I was caught by him. I was absolutely, unintentionally ensnared. Held by the look in his cocoa brown eyes when he spoke, commanding me.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paloma-beck/i-was-caught-by-him-i-was-absolutely-unintentionally-ensnared-held-by/) [Paloma Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paloma-beck/) > [“I'll tell you about Ryder. He's the star quarter back of our Division 1A state championship football team. Top student in our class, he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristi-cook/i-ll-tell-you-about-ryder-he-s-the-star-quarter-back-of-our-division/) [Kristi Cook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristi-cook/) > [“Explain to me again how matricide is illegal in some states,” Sissy growled from behind him as he pulled her toward the enormous staircase.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shelly-laurenston/explain-to-me-again-how-matricide-is-illegal-in-some-states-sissy/) [Shelly Laurenston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shelly-laurenston/) > [Back in England, a girl with thick black hair, dusky skin and big brown eyes will turn heads. It is vice versa in India.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-jackson/back-in-england-a-girl-with-thick-black-hair-dusky-skin-and-big-brown/) [Amy Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-jackson/) > [“A shiver went up her spine. Part of her wanted to lean toward him so she could see deeper into his brown eyes, to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melanie-dickerson/a-shiver-went-up-her-spine-part-of-her-wanted-to-lean-toward-him-so/) [Melanie Dickerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melanie-dickerson/) > [“I stare at his relaxed face, pale in the dim light. Nearly asleep, he looks vulnerable. Like I could tell him anything I wanted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristin-rae/i-stare-at-his-relaxed-face-pale-in-the-dim-light-nearly-asleep-he/) [Kristin Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristin-rae/) > [“Never force something, Drew. A bolt, a pass, a game, whatever." His dark brown eyes held mine. "Force it and you'll lose. Patience and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-callihan/never-force-something-drew-a-bolt-a-pass-a-game-whatever-his-dark/) [Kristen Callihan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-callihan/) [Browse all 405 Brown eyes quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/brown-eyes/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“It's a physical sickness. Etienne. How much I love him. I love Etienne. I love it when he cocks an eyebrow whenever I say something he finds clever or amusing. I love listening to his boots clomp across my bedroom ceiling. I love that the accent over his first name is called an acute accent, and that he has a cute accent. I love that. I love sitting beside him in physics. Brushing against him during lands. His messy handwriting on our worksheets. I love handing him his backpack when class is over,because then my fingers smell like him for the next ten minutes. And when Amanda says something lame, and he seeks me out to exchange an eye roll-I love that,too. I love his boyish laugh and his wrinkled shirts and his ridiculous knitted hat. I love his large brown eyes,and the way he bites his nails,and I love his hair so much I could die. There's only one thing I don't love about him. Her. If I didn't like Ellie before,it's nothing compared to how I feel now. It doesn't matter that I can count how many times we've met on one hand. It's that first image, that's what I can't shake. Under the streeplamp. Her fingers in his hair. Anytime I'm alone, my mind wanders back to that night. I take it further. She touches his chest. I take it further.His bedroom.He slips off her dress,their lips lock, their bodies press,and-oh my God-my temperature rises,and my stomach is sick. I fantasize about their breakup. How he could hurt her,and she could hurt him,and of all the ways I could hurt her back. I want to grab her Parisian-styled hair and yank it so hard it rips from her skull. I want to sink my claws into her eyeballs and scrape. It turns out I am not a nice person. Etienne and I rarely discussed her before, but she's completely taboo now. Which tortures me, because since we've gotten back from winter break, they seem to be having problems again. Like an obsessed stalker,I tally the evenings he spend with me versus the evening he spends with her. I'm winning.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephanie Perkins" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/it-s-a-physical-sickness-etienne-how-much-i-love-him-i-love-etienne-i/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Brown eyes" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/it-s-a-physical-sickness-etienne-how-much-i-love-him-i-love-etienne-i/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc0/stephanie-perkins-482_brown-eyes_it-s-a-physical-sickness-etienne-how-muc_2792935.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc0/stephanie-perkins-482_brown-eyes_it-s-a-physical-sickness-etienne-how-muc_2792935.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc0/stephanie-perkins-482_brown-eyes_it-s-a-physical-sickness-etienne-how-muc_2792935.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's a physical sickness. Etienne. How much I love him. I love Etienne. I love it when he cocks an eyebrow…” — Stephanie Perkins", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Stephanie Perkins", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-perkins/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“It's a physical sickness. Etienne. How...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/it-s-a-physical-sickness-etienne-how-much-i-love-him-i-love-etienne-i/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-perkins/it-s-a-physical-sickness-etienne-how-much-i-love-him-i-love-etienne-i/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```