--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Never before in history had societies…" description: "\"“Never before in history had societies thought that such a set of high expectations about marriage was either realistic or desirable. Although many Eur..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2b/stephanie-coontz-3365_expectations_never-before-in-history-had-societies-th_3022115.jpg" --- # Never before in history had societies thought that such a… ![“Never before in history had societies thought that such a set of high expectations about marriage was either realistic or desirable. Although many Europeans and Americans found tremendous joy in building their relationships around these values, the adoption of these unprecedented goals for…” quote by Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2b/stephanie-coontz-3365_expectations_never-before-in-history-had-societies-th_3022115.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2b/stephanie-coontz-3365_expectations_never-before-in-history-had-societies-th_3022115.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2b/stephanie-coontz-3365_expectations_never-before-in-history-had-societies-th_3022115.jpg) > ““Never before in history had societies thought that such a set of high expectations about marriage was either realistic or desirable. Although many Europeans and Americans found tremendous joy in building their relationships around these values, the adoption of these unprecedented goals for marriage had unanticipated and revolutionary consequences that have since come to threaten the stability of the entire institution.”” [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. High marital expectations reshaped marriage, causing unintended instability. **In simple terms:** Unrealistic expectations destabilize marriage. Key Takeaway Reevaluate marital expectations. Themes marriage expectations societal change Mood reflective critical Type analytical historical When to use this quote - relationship counseling - educational programs - policy discussion Key Concepts historical analysis cultural norms Questions to Reflect On - What expectations are harmful? - How can couples set realistic goals? A Different Perspective Idealizing marriage may ignore individual needs. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Expectations](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/expectations/) [High expectations](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/high-expectations/) [History](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/history/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) ## Related quotes > [The problem of unmet expectations in marriage is primarily a problem of stereotyping. Each and every human being on this planet is a unique…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/the-problem-of-unmet-expectations-in-marriage-is-primarily-a-problem/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [People get married for a wide array of reasons and have all sorts of expectations of how marriage will change the relationship. And while…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-v-gordon/people-get-married-for-a-wide-array-of-reasons-and-have-all-sorts-of/) [Emily V. Gordon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-v-gordon/) > [“ She was not certain what she wanted from life, or what to expect from it, for she had seen so little of it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-s-connell/she-was-not-certain-what-she-wanted-from-life-or-what-to-expect-from/) [Evan S. Connell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-s-connell/) > [Don’t join an easy crowd; you won’t grow. Go where the expectations and the demands to perform are high.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-rohn/don-t-join-an-easy-crowd-you-won-t-grow-go-where-the-expectations-and/) [Jim Rohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-rohn/) > [“They were all looking at Mary, and she felt more than ever like the new pupil at a school where they had high expectations…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-pullman/they-were-all-looking-at-mary-and-she-felt-more-than-ever-like-the/) [Philip Pullman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-pullman/) > [You should have high expectations for yourself and others should come second.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/florence-welch/you-should-have-high-expectations-for-yourself-and-others-should-come/) [Florence Welch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/florence-welch/) > [You have to set high expectations for yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-mctominay/you-have-to-set-high-expectations-for-yourself/) [Scott McTominay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-mctominay/) > [I try as best as I can to not be so hard on myself, but it's something that I don't know, I guess I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julianna-pena/i-try-as-best-as-i-can-to-not-be-so-hard-on-myself-but-it-s-something/) [Julianna Pena](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julianna-pena/) > [“Setting high expectations is so important,” Skender says. “You have to push people, make them stretch and do more than they think possible.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-m-grant/setting-high-expectations-is-so-important-skender-says-you-have-to/) [Adam M. Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-m-grant/) > [I do have high expectations for Alex Riley. He seems athletic, articulate and intelligent. Only time will tell how far he goes, but Riley…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-ross/i-do-have-high-expectations-for-alex-riley-he-seems-athletic/) [Jim Ross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-ross/) > [I went to the Convent of the Sacred Heart for four years. It was interesting to me because, in a family where men were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-kennedy/i-went-to-the-convent-of-the-sacred-heart-for-four-years-it-was/) [Kerry Kennedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-kennedy/) > [Yesterday you're my love.Today you're my enemy.Tomorrow I'll really just have high expectations can bring true happiness for myself n all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/achmad-tim-bukhari/yesterday-you-re-my-love-today-you-re-my-enemy-tomorrow-i-ll-really/) [Achmad Tim Bukhari](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/achmad-tim-bukhari/) > [I think I have high expectations when it comes to guys and relationships.. But would you rather have high expectations or low standards?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/santana/i-think-i-have-high-expectations-when-it-comes-to-guys-and/) [Santana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/santana/) > [I've always got such high expectations for myself. I'm aware of them, but I can't relax them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-decker/i-ve-always-got-such-high-expectations-for-myself-i-m-aware-of-them/) [Mary Decker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-decker/) > [Disappointment contains an appointment for doing much better. High expectations mean your higher capacity and belief in abilities.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tasneem-hameed/disappointment-contains-an-appointment-for-doing-much-better-high/) [Tasneem Hameed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tasneem-hameed/) ## More by Stephanie Coontz > [As an overly confident college freshman, the first time I received a below-average score on an exam was a needed wake-up call.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/as-an-overly-confident-college-freshman-the-first-time-i-received-a/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [For every nineteenth-century middle-class family that protected its wife and child within the family circle, there was an Irish ora German girl scrubbing floors…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/for-every-nineteenth-century-middle-class-family-that-protected-its/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [A primary motivation for introducing no-fault divorce was, in fact, to reduce perjury in the legal system.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/a-primary-motivation-for-introducing-no-fault-divorce-was-in-fact-to/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [Graduating from high school is certainly a good idea, but it's no longer much protection against poverty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/graduating-from-high-school-is-certainly-a-good-idea-but-it-s-no/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [Almost all scholarly research carries practical and political implications. Better that we should spell these out ourselves than leave that task to people with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/almost-all-scholarly-research-carries-practical-and-political/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [Investing in living-wage jobs and reducing the inequities between local school districts would give young people more, not less, incentive to postpone childbearing and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/investing-in-living-wage-jobs-and-reducing-the-inequities-between/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [Hyper-parenting has many pitfalls. Overprotected and overpraised children may develop an inflated sense of entitlement.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/hyper-parenting-has-many-pitfalls-overprotected-and-overpraised/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [Social and economic policies constructed around the male breadwinner model have always disadvantaged women.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/social-and-economic-policies-constructed-around-the-male-breadwinner/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [When I speak on work-family issues to audiences around the country, some of the biggest complaints I hear come from individuals who are described…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/when-i-speak-on-work-family-issues-to-audiences-around-the-country/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [Extended families have never been the norm in America; the highest figure for extended-family households ever recorded in Americanhistory is 20 percent. Contrary to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/extended-families-have-never-been-the-norm-in-america-the-highest/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [Unilateral divorce has decreased the bargaining power of the person who wants the marriage to last and has not engaged in behavior that meets…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/unilateral-divorce-has-decreased-the-bargaining-power-of-the-person/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [The closer we get to achieving equality of opportunity between the sexes, the more clearly we can see that the next major obstacle to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/the-closer-we-get-to-achieving-equality-of-opportunity-between-the/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [Families have always been in flux and often in crisis; they have never lived up to nostalgic notions about "the way things used tobe."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/families-have-always-been-in-flux-and-often-in-crisis-they-have-never/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [A significant minority of senior women I've interviewed say, 'Love the companionship, glad to live with him, but I spent my first marriage picking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/a-significant-minority-of-senior-women-i-ve-interviewed-say-love-the/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [Marriage can provide a bounty of emotional, practical, and financial support. But finding the right mate is no substitute for having friends and other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/marriage-can-provide-a-bounty-of-emotional-practical-and-financial/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) [Explore all 132 Stephanie Coontz quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) ## More Expectations quotes > [Balance suggests a perfect equilibrium. There is no such thing. That is a false expectation… There are going to be priorities and dimensions of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-morrison/balance-suggests-a-perfect-equilibrium-there-is-no-such-thing-that-is/) [Denise Morrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-morrison/) > [My mom had very low expectations for me, and she really had a point. I was a big problem at seventeen. If I had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/my-mom-had-very-low-expectations-for-me-and-she-really-had-a-point-i/) [Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/) > [I've long believed one of the mainsprings of our own liberty has been the widespread ownership of property among our people and the expectation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ronald-reagan/i-ve-long-believed-one-of-the-mainsprings-of-our-own-liberty-has-been/) [Ronald Reagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ronald-reagan/) > [I say this all the time: I've always been really good at managing my expectations so that I'm not let down.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brett-young/i-say-this-all-the-time-i-ve-always-been-really-good-at-managing-my/) [Brett Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brett-young/) > [When Allah puts barakah (His blessings) in something, it will come beyond your expectations- never underestimate the power of one good deed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nouman-ali-khan/when-allah-puts-barakah-his-blessings-in-something-it-will-come/) [Nouman Ali Khan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nouman-ali-khan/) > [Keeping up with everybody's expectation is soooo hard!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naomi/keeping-up-with-everybody-s-expectation-is-soooo-hard/) [Naomi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naomi/) > [I recognize I am essentially a failed human being in the sense that I can't possibly live up to the expectations of an Almighty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-w-bush/i-recognize-i-am-essentially-a-failed-human-being-in-the-sense-that-i/) [George W. Bush](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-w-bush/) > [We're wired to expect the world to be brighter and more meaningful and more obviously interesting than it actually is. And when we realize…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lev-grossman/we-re-wired-to-expect-the-world-to-be-brighter-and-more-meaningful/) [Lev Grossman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lev-grossman/) > [“Does your reality match your expectations? If not it's time to change either your expectations or your reality.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-redhead/does-your-reality-match-your-expectations-if-not-it-s-time-to-change/) [Steven Redhead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-redhead/) > [Jesus' kingdom was not like the popular expectation. He used the phrase 'kingdom of God' with a different meaning. His kingdom was not of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-harpur/jesus-kingdom-was-not-like-the-popular-expectation-he-used-the-phrase/) [Tom Harpur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-harpur/) > [Disappointment contains an appointment for doing much better. High expectations mean your higher capacity and belief in abilities.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tasneem-hameed/disappointment-contains-an-appointment-for-doing-much-better-high/) [Tasneem Hameed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tasneem-hameed/) > [It's a good place when all you have is hope and not expectations.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danny-boyle/it-s-a-good-place-when-all-you-have-is-hope-and-not-expectations/) [Danny Boyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danny-boyle/) > [When we give from a place of love, rather than from a place of expectation, more usually comes back to us than we could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-jeffers/when-we-give-from-a-place-of-love-rather-than-from-a-place-of/) [Susan Jeffers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-jeffers/) > [Everybody out there watches the show and has expectations of wanting to be an 'Idol', but we're going to teach them how much hard…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bo-bice/everybody-out-there-watches-the-show-and-has-expectations-of-wanting/) [Bo Bice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bo-bice/) > [When we fall utterly, something gathers us up. But our falling must be without reservation, without expectation, without hope, though not hopeless. You cant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-housden/when-we-fall-utterly-something-gathers-us-up-but-our-falling-must-be/) [Roger Housden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-housden/) [Browse all 4,210 Expectations quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/expectations/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Never before in history had societies thought that such a set of high expectations about marriage was either realistic or desirable. 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