--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I am not arguing that women ought to…" description: "\"I am not arguing that women ought to 'settle.' I am arguing that we can now expect more of a mate than we could when we depended on men for our financi..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/085/stephanie-coontz-3365_accomplishment_i-am-not-arguing-that-women-ought-to-set_2767366.png" --- # I am not arguing that women ought to 'settle.' I am… ![“I am not arguing that women ought to 'settle.' I am arguing that we can now expect more of a mate than we could when we depended on men for our financial security, social status, and sense of accomplishment.” quote by Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/085/stephanie-coontz-3365_accomplishment_i-am-not-arguing-that-women-ought-to-set_2767366.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/085/stephanie-coontz-3365_accomplishment_i-am-not-arguing-that-women-ought-to-set_2767366.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/085/stephanie-coontz-3365_accomplishment_i-am-not-arguing-that-women-ought-to-set_2767366.png) > “I am not arguing that women ought to 'settle.' I am arguing that we can now expect more of a mate than we could when we depended on men for our financial security, social status, and sense of accomplishment.” [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Women no longer need to rely on men for status; they can seek partners for love, not security. **In simple terms:** Women can now expect more from partners beyond financial support. Key Takeaway Choose partners for love, not necessity. Themes gender independence relationships Mood analytical empowering Type sociological advice When to use this quote - dating apps - career planning - financial independence Key Concepts Sociology feminism Questions to Reflect On - What qualities matter most to you in a partner? - How does financial independence affect relationship choices? A Different Perspective Societal expectations may still pressure traditional roles. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Accomplishment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/accomplishment/) [Expect Mate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/expect-mate-3216076/) [Financial security](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/financial-security/) [Mate Depended](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mate-depended-3216075/) [Men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/) [Ought Settle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ought-settle-3216077/) [Security](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/security/) [Sense of accomplishment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sense-of-accomplishment/) [Settle Arguing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/settle-arguing-3216078/) [Social status](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/social-status/) [Success](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/success/) [Women](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/women/) [Women Ought](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/women-ought-899553/) ## Related quotes > [Let not men then in the pride of power, use the same arguments that tyrannic kings and venal ministers have used, and fallaciously assert…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/let-not-men-then-in-the-pride-of-power-use-the-same-arguments-that/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down, these women together ought to be able to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sojourner-truth/if-the-first-woman-god-ever-made-was-strong-enough-to-turn-the-world-3/) [Sojourner Truth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sojourner-truth/) > [We women ought to put first things first. 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Women ought to leave such matters to their husbands.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ken-follett/we-shouldn-t-be-talking-of-politics-women-ought-to-leave-such-matters/) [Ken Follett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ken-follett/) > [“don't think that women ought to sit down at table with men. It ruins conversation and I'm sure it's very bad for them. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-somerset-maugham/don-t-think-that-women-ought-to-sit-down-at-table-with-men-it-ruins/) [W. Somerset Maugham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-somerset-maugham/) > [What man could afford to pay for all the things a wife does, when she's a cook, a mistress, a chauffeur, a nurse, a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-ford/what-man-could-afford-to-pay-for-all-the-things-a-wife-does-when-she/) [Betty Ford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-ford/) > [“Of course, these women ought to have listened when he told them he wasn't looking for anything serious. But on a certain level, it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adelle-waldman/of-course-these-women-ought-to-have-listened-when-he-told-them-he/) [Adelle Waldman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adelle-waldman/) > [All women together ought to let flowers fall upon the tomb of Aphra Behn, for it was she who earned them the right to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/all-women-together-ought-to-let-flowers-fall-upon-the-tomb-of-aphra/) [Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/) > [I can never feel that setting fire to houses and churches and litter boxes and destroying valuable pictures really helps to convince people that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/millicent-fawcett/i-can-never-feel-that-setting-fire-to-houses-and-churches-and-litter/) [Millicent Fawcett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/millicent-fawcett/) ## More by Stephanie Coontz > [As an overly confident college freshman, the first time I received a below-average score on an exam was a needed wake-up call.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/as-an-overly-confident-college-freshman-the-first-time-i-received-a/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [For every nineteenth-century middle-class family that protected its wife and child within the family circle, there was an Irish ora German girl scrubbing floors…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/for-every-nineteenth-century-middle-class-family-that-protected-its/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [A primary motivation for introducing no-fault divorce was, in fact, to reduce perjury in the legal system.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/a-primary-motivation-for-introducing-no-fault-divorce-was-in-fact-to/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [Graduating from high school is certainly a good idea, but it's no longer much protection against poverty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/graduating-from-high-school-is-certainly-a-good-idea-but-it-s-no/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [Almost all scholarly research carries practical and political implications. 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Overprotected and overpraised children may develop an inflated sense of entitlement.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/hyper-parenting-has-many-pitfalls-overprotected-and-overpraised/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [Social and economic policies constructed around the male breadwinner model have always disadvantaged women.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/social-and-economic-policies-constructed-around-the-male-breadwinner/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [When I speak on work-family issues to audiences around the country, some of the biggest complaints I hear come from individuals who are described…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/when-i-speak-on-work-family-issues-to-audiences-around-the-country/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [Extended families have never been the norm in America; the highest figure for extended-family households ever recorded in Americanhistory is 20 percent. Contrary to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/extended-families-have-never-been-the-norm-in-america-the-highest/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [Unilateral divorce has decreased the bargaining power of the person who wants the marriage to last and has not engaged in behavior that meets…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/unilateral-divorce-has-decreased-the-bargaining-power-of-the-person/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [The closer we get to achieving equality of opportunity between the sexes, the more clearly we can see that the next major obstacle to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/the-closer-we-get-to-achieving-equality-of-opportunity-between-the/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [Families have always been in flux and often in crisis; they have never lived up to nostalgic notions about "the way things used tobe."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/families-have-always-been-in-flux-and-often-in-crisis-they-have-never/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [A significant minority of senior women I've interviewed say, 'Love the companionship, glad to live with him, but I spent my first marriage picking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/a-significant-minority-of-senior-women-i-ve-interviewed-say-love-the/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [Marriage can provide a bounty of emotional, practical, and financial support. But finding the right mate is no substitute for having friends and other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/marriage-can-provide-a-bounty-of-emotional-practical-and-financial/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) [Explore all 132 Stephanie Coontz quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) ## More Accomplishment quotes > [Writing is something I took up rather than anything I had an inclination toward. I like acting -delivering someone else's message - but writing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-martin/writing-is-something-i-took-up-rather-than-anything-i-had-an/) [Steve Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-martin/) > [“In American terms, the accomplishment of Genghis Khan might be understood if the United States, instead of being created by a group of educated…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-weatherford/in-american-terms-the-accomplishment-of-genghis-khan-might-be/) [Jack Weatherford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-weatherford/) > [Can you imagine any better example of divine creative accomplishment that the consummate flying machine that is a bird? The skeleton, very flexible and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/guy-murchie/can-you-imagine-any-better-example-of-divine-creative-accomplishment/) [Guy Murchie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/guy-murchie/) > [To accomplish much you must first lose everything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/che-guevara/to-accomplish-much-you-must-first-lose-everything/) [Che Guevara](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/che-guevara/) > [One of the most important rules for success is this: Every great success is the result of hundreds and thousands of small efforts and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-tracy/one-of-the-most-important-rules-for-success-is-this-every-great/) [Brian Tracy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-tracy/) > [For many of us, work is the one place where we feel appreciated. The things that we long to experience at home - pride…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arlie-russell-hochschild/for-many-of-us-work-is-the-one-place-where-we-feel-appreciated-the/) [Arlie Russell Hochschild](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arlie-russell-hochschild/) > [Humility is an elusive virtue. The more we pursue it - and the more we seem to acquire it - the more we take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-aquilina/humility-is-an-elusive-virtue-the-more-we-pursue-it-and-the-more-we/) [Mike Aquilina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-aquilina/) > [I'm not always right, but I learn from my mistakes and make it a productive experience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-kolhoff/i-m-not-always-right-but-i-learn-from-my-mistakes-and-make-it-a/) [Carson Kolhoff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-kolhoff/) > [Suffering in life can uncover untold depths of character and unknown strength for service. 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