---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The problem is that you don't love…"
description: "\"The problem is that you don't love yourself. That's why you hold onto anyone that shows you anything that resembles love.\" — Sonya Parker"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e3e/sonya-parker-80_love_the-problem-is-that-you-don-t-love-yours_1130126.jpg"
---

#  The problem is that you don't love yourself. That's why…

![“The problem is that you don't love yourself. That's why you hold onto anyone that shows you anything that resembles love.” quote by Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e3e/sonya-parker-80_love_the-problem-is-that-you-don-t-love-yours_1130126.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e3e/sonya-parker-80_love_the-problem-is-that-you-don-t-love-yours_1130126.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e3e/sonya-parker-80_love_the-problem-is-that-you-don-t-love-yours_1130126.jpg)

> “The problem is that you don't love yourself. That's why you hold onto anyone that shows you anything that resembles love.”

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Self‑love deficiency drives people to cling to any semblance of affection, seeking validation they lack internally.

**In simple terms:** People who don’t love themselves chase external love.

Key Takeaway

Cultivate self‑acceptance before seeking others.

Themes

self‑esteem relationships validation

Mood

reflective somber

Type

advice psychological

When to use this quote

- dating
- friendships
- therapy
- personal growth

Key Concepts

psychology attachment theory

Questions to Reflect On

- What does self‑love look like for you?
- How can you nurture it daily?

A Different Perspective

External validation cannot replace inner self‑worth.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love yourself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-yourself/) [Problem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/problem/) [Truth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/truth/)

## Related quotes

> [It's hard to admit that the person you love doesn't love you. So, you hold on until you're ready to accept the truth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/it-s-hard-to-admit-that-the-person-you-love-doesn-t-love-you-so-you/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [It's hard to admit that the person you love DOESN'T love you back. So, you hold on until you have no choice but to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/it-s-hard-to-admit-that-the-person-you-love-doesn-t-love-you-back-so/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [I love it when you hold me and tell me you are mine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mrthrill/i-love-it-when-you-hold-me-and-tell-me-you-are-mine/)

Mrthrill

> [When you work on a character, you form in your mind an image of what he ought to look like. Then you go and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelangelo-antonioni/when-you-work-on-a-character-you-form-in-your-mind-an-image-of-what/)

[Michelangelo Antonioni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelangelo-antonioni/)

> [Only thought can resemble. It resembles by being what it sees, hears, or knows; it becomes what the world offers it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rene-magritte/only-thought-can-resemble-it-resembles-by-being-what-it-sees-hears-or/)

[Rene Magritte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rene-magritte/)

> [Nothing so resembles a daub as a masterpiece.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-gauguin/nothing-so-resembles-a-daub-as-a-masterpiece/)

[Paul Gauguin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-gauguin/)

> [He who has dreamed for long resembles his dream.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-malraux/he-who-has-dreamed-for-long-resembles-his-dream/)

[Andre Malraux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-malraux/)

> [The car resembles a dragon fly or any other jumping animal that moves shorter distances in straight lines and then changes its direction at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fritz-todt/the-car-resembles-a-dragon-fly-or-any-other-jumping-animal-that-moves/)

[Fritz Todt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fritz-todt/)

> [I sort of have blind faith that my life resembles other people's.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eva-victor/i-sort-of-have-blind-faith-that-my-life-resembles-other-people-s/)

[Eva Victor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eva-victor/)

> [Collaboration is much like a birth. The song that springs forth resembles each one of us to a degree, but it's the kind of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/grant-lee-phillips/collaboration-is-much-like-a-birth-the-song-that-springs-forth/)

[Grant-Lee Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/grant-lee-phillips/)

> [Good music resembles something. It resembles the composer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-cocteau/good-music-resembles-something-it-resembles-the-composer/)

[Jean Cocteau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-cocteau/)

> [“Why should you particularly like a man who resembles you? There is nothing in you to like; you know that.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-dickens/why-should-you-particularly-like-a-man-who-resembles-you-there-is/)

[Charles Dickens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-dickens/)

> [Since I grew up, I have never deliberately used any technique at all other than the physical shaping of my tale so that it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-o-brian/since-i-grew-up-i-have-never-deliberately-used-any-technique-at-all/)

[Patrick O'Brian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-o-brian/)

> ["True" resembles... a compliment paid to sentences that seem to be paying their way and that fit in with other sentences which are doing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-rorty/true-resembles-a-compliment-paid-to-sentences-that-seem-to-be-paying/)

[Richard Rorty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-rorty/)

> [Hardly anyone about whom I deeply care at all resembles anyone else I have ever met, or heard of, or read about in literature.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/renata-adler/hardly-anyone-about-whom-i-deeply-care-at-all-resembles-anyone-else-i/)

[Renata Adler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/renata-adler/)

## More by Sonya Parker

> [If someone leaves you because of a flaw or small problem they're immature, and they are definitely wrong for you. So, good riddance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/if-someone-leaves-you-because-of-a-flaw-or-small-problem-they-re/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [If holding onto them requires you to lower your self-worth and self-respect let go of them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/if-holding-onto-them-requires-you-to-lower-your-self-worth-and-self/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [I still care about you, but youve lost my trust, youve lost my respect and youve lost me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/i-still-care-about-you-but-youve-lost-my-trust-youve-lost-my-respect/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [Everyone has dreams, but everyone isn't willing to fight for their dreams to come true.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/everyone-has-dreams-but-everyone-isn-t-willing-to-fight-for-their/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [A jerk will keep hurting you then apologize to keep you from leaving them, and then do it all over again](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/a-jerk-will-keep-hurting-you-then-apologize-to-keep-you-from-leaving/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [Just because you failed yesterday it doesn't mean that you can't succeed today or tomorrow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/just-because-you-failed-yesterday-it-doesn-t-mean-that-you-can-t/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [Today isn't just another day off, it's a day to remember those who have sacrificed their life for your FREEDOM. Happy Memorial Day!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/today-isn-t-just-another-day-off-it-s-a-day-to-remember-those-who/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [Stop holding onto people that treat you like crap. They might be nice sometimes, but the rest of the time they disrespect you and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/stop-holding-onto-people-that-treat-you-like-crap-they-might-be-nice/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [Nice people hate saying 'no' to their friends and family, that's why they get used and taken advantage of.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/nice-people-hate-saying-no-to-their-friends-and-family-that-s-why/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [Most people don't reach their goals because reaching their goals requires them to do things that they don't want to do. You might not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/most-people-don-t-reach-their-goals-because-reaching-their-goals/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [Once a person turns cold it's hard to change back into who they used to be. They have to let go of the past,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/once-a-person-turns-cold-it-s-hard-to-change-back-into-who-they-used/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [You're unhappy with your life because you give up when things don't happen fast enough for you. The bigger the goal the longer it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/you-re-unhappy-with-your-life-because-you-give-up-when-things-don-t/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [Some people give up on everything just because they can't fix one thing. You might not be able to fix that, but you can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/some-people-give-up-on-everything-just-because-they-can-t-fix-one/)

[SONYA PARKER](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [I dont care how brokenhearted someone is if they wanted to be with you they would because the love they feel for you would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/i-dont-care-how-brokenhearted-someone-is-if-they-wanted-to-be-with/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [Love is when someone has the power to break your heart into a thousand pieces, but they make sure it stays in 1 piece.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/love-is-when-someone-has-the-power-to-break-your-heart-into-a/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

[Explore all 1,539 Sonya Parker quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

## More Hold quotes

> [Like many other scientists who hold the Catholic faith, I see the Creator's plan and purpose fulfilled in our universe. I see a planet…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kenneth-r-miller/like-many-other-scientists-who-hold-the-catholic-faith-i-see-the/)

[Kenneth R. Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kenneth-r-miller/)

> [See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/see-you-in-a-few-hold-down-the-fort-mr-wong/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [Some of the things that we hold onto the most, are the things that we need to let go of.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryaj-ablando-catayas/some-of-the-things-that-we-hold-onto-the-most-are-the-things-that-we/)

[Ryaj Ablando Catayas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryaj-ablando-catayas/)

> [As we go through this transition where a lot more people will be reading on devices, nobody is paying enough attention to make sure…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-patterson/as-we-go-through-this-transition-where-a-lot-more-people-will-be/)

[James Patterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-patterson/)

> [Comerado, this is no book,Who touches this, touches a man,(Is it night? Are we here alone?)It is I you hold, and who holds you,I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walt-whitman/comerado-this-is-no-book-who-touches-this-touches-a-man-is-it-night/)

[Walt Whitman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walt-whitman/)

> [I hold that religion and faith are two different things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pat-buckley/i-hold-that-religion-and-faith-are-two-different-things/)

[Pat Buckley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pat-buckley/)

> [I don't have any regrets or hold any grudge against anyone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cooper-kupp/i-don-t-have-any-regrets-or-hold-any-grudge-against-anyone/)

[Cooper Kupp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cooper-kupp/)

> [I do not chase after anyone if you wanna walk out my life then I will hold the fu\*\*\*\*g door open for you](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wiz-khalifa/i-do-not-chase-after-anyone-if-you-wanna-walk-out-my-life-then-i-will/)

[Wiz Khalifa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wiz-khalifa/)

> [Be aware and hold the government accountable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohit-chauhan/be-aware-and-hold-the-government-accountable/)

[Mohit Chauhan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohit-chauhan/)

> [“Only the sky above us do we hold in common.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-walker/only-the-sky-above-us-do-we-hold-in-common/)

[Alice Walker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-walker/)

> [Just as Wall Street needs to break the hold of the bonus culture, which drives risk-taking that is rational for individuals but damaging to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/randy-schekman/just-as-wall-street-needs-to-break-the-hold-of-the-bonus-culture/)

[Randy Schekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/randy-schekman/)

> [Hold tenderly that which you cherish, for it is precious and a tight grip may crush it. Do not let the fear of dropping…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-alberti/hold-tenderly-that-which-you-cherish-for-it-is-precious-and-a-tight/)

Bob Alberti

> [Sometimes, I get afraid it has defined me, that sense of grief, loss and illness. But actually, it is about allowing myself to take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sometimes-i-get-afraid-it-has-defined-me-that-sense-of-grief-loss-and/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“Eyes will not see you. Minds will not hold you. Where you are is nothing and nobody”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-gaiman/eyes-will-not-see-you-minds-will-not-hold-you-where-you-are-is/)

[neil Gaiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-gaiman/)

> [You want to embrace, but I can't figure out how to hold on to it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-duritz/you-want-to-embrace-but-i-can-t-figure-out-how-to-hold-on-to-it/)

[Adam Duritz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-duritz/)

Browse all 2,062 Hold quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "The problem is that you don't love yourself. That's why you hold onto anyone that shows you anything that resembles love.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Sonya Parker"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/the-problem-is-that-you-don-t-love-yourself-that-s-why-you-hold-onto/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Hold"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/the-problem-is-that-you-don-t-love-yourself-that-s-why-you-hold-onto/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e3e/sonya-parker-80_love_the-problem-is-that-you-don-t-love-yours_1130126.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e3e/sonya-parker-80_love_the-problem-is-that-you-don-t-love-yours_1130126.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e3e/sonya-parker-80_love_the-problem-is-that-you-don-t-love-yours_1130126.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“The problem is that you don't love yourself. That's why you hold onto anyone that shows you anything that…” — Sonya Parker",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Sonya Parker",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "The problem is that you don't...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/the-problem-is-that-you-don-t-love-yourself-that-s-why-you-hold-onto/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/the-problem-is-that-you-don-t-love-yourself-that-s-why-you-hold-onto/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
