---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I must stop remembering. I must keep them…"
description: "\"“I must stop remembering. I must keep them in a faraway place. The more I remember, the greater my agony. These thoughts stuttered in my mind. So I sto..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c0/sonali-deraniyagala-41885_avoidance_i-must-stop-remembering-i-must-keep-them_1851591.jpg"
---

#  I must stop remembering. I must keep them in a faraway…

![“I must stop remembering. I must keep them in a faraway place. The more I remember, the greater my agony. These thoughts stuttered in my mind. So I stopped talking about them, I wouldn't mouth my boys' names, I shoved away stories of them. Let them, let our life, become as unreal as that wave.” quote by Sonali Deraniyagala](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c0/sonali-deraniyagala-41885_avoidance_i-must-stop-remembering-i-must-keep-them_1851591.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c0/sonali-deraniyagala-41885_avoidance_i-must-stop-remembering-i-must-keep-them_1851591.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c0/sonali-deraniyagala-41885_avoidance_i-must-stop-remembering-i-must-keep-them_1851591.jpg)

> ““I must stop remembering. I must keep them in a faraway place. The more I remember, the greater my agony. These thoughts stuttered in my mind. So I stopped talking about them, I wouldn't mouth my boys' names, I shoved away stories of them. Let them, let our life, become as unreal as that wave.””

[Sonali Deraniyagala](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonali-deraniyagala/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

She describes suppressing memories of loss to avoid pain, creating emotional distance from her children.

**In simple terms:** She hides painful memories to lessen suffering.

Key Takeaway

Allow grief, but seek healthy processing.

Themes

grief memory pain avoidance

Mood

sad reflective

Type

personal therapeutic

When to use this quote

- therapy sessions
- journaling
- support groups
- memorial rituals

Key Concepts

trauma psychological defense emotional coping

Questions to Reflect On

- How does avoidance affect long‑term emotional health?
- What healthier ways can one honor lost loved ones?

A Different Perspective

Suppressing memories can hinder healing and prolong unresolved grief.

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[Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) [Grieving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grieving/) [Painful memories](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/painful-memories/) [Remembering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/remembering/)

## Related quotes

> [“I must stop remembering... The more I remember, the greater my agony. These thoughts stuttered in my mind... I must be more watchful, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonali-deraniyagala/i-must-stop-remembering-the-more-i-remember-the-greater-my-agony/)

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> [“the reality of being here eludes me, I can’t focus, I am dazed. And I want to stay this way. If I have too…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonali-deraniyagala/the-reality-of-being-here-eludes-me-i-can-t-focus-i-am-dazed-and-i/)

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> [“I will kill myself soon. But until then how do l tame my pain?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonali-deraniyagala/i-will-kill-myself-soon-but-until-then-how-do-l-tame-my-pain/)

[Sonali Deraniyagala](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonali-deraniyagala/)

> [“They had become muffled and distant then anyway. This happened in those first days after the wave. I couldn't find their faces, they quivered…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonali-deraniyagala/they-had-become-muffled-and-distant-then-anyway-this-happened-in/)

[Sonali Deraniyagala](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonali-deraniyagala/)

> [Why do people have memories? It would be easier to die - anything to stop remembering.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vasily-grossman/why-do-people-have-memories-it-would-be-easier-to-die-anything-to/)

[Vasily Grossman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vasily-grossman/)

> [Stop remembering me as the girl that you used to know and get to know me as the woman that I've become](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrice-hodge/stop-remembering-me-as-the-girl-that-you-used-to-know-and-get-to-know/)

[Sherrice Hodge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrice-hodge/)

> [“I urge you to stop remembering what God has forgotten.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-meyer/i-urge-you-to-stop-remembering-what-god-has-forgotten/)

[Joyce Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-meyer/)

> [I can feel the hurt. There's something good about it. Mostly it makes me stop remembering.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-can-feel-the-hurt-there-s-something-good-about-it-mostly-it-makes/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“If you want to stop someone from remembering something, the key is to use distraction.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-dutton/if-you-want-to-stop-someone-from-remembering-something-the-key-is-to/)

[Kevin Dutton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-dutton/)

> [“The dead will only be dead if you stop remembering them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-m-montgomery/the-dead-will-only-be-dead-if-you-stop-remembering-them/)

[L.M. Montgomery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-m-montgomery/)

> [God forgives us and remembers our sin no more; therefore, stop remembering what God has forgotten.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-meyer/god-forgives-us-and-remembers-our-sin-no-more-therefore-stop/)

[Joyce Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-meyer/)

> [There Comes A Time When You Have To Stop Remembering Your Mistakes And Move On. No Regrets In Life. Just Lessons.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pacifiersucker/there-comes-a-time-when-you-have-to-stop-remembering-your-mistakes/)

Pacifiersucker

> [Never let the things you want, stop you from remembering the things you already have.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda/never-let-the-things-you-want-stop-you-from-remembering-the-things/)

[Amanda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda/)

> [“I was dizzy in that room. I felt faint with disbelief. I held on to the seat of my chair to stay upright. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonali-deraniyagala/i-was-dizzy-in-that-room-i-felt-faint-with-disbelief-i-held-on-to-the/)

[Sonali Deraniyagala](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonali-deraniyagala/)

> [I think everybody in the future has stopped talking to each other and we all just use emojis.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scarlett-moffatt/i-think-everybody-in-the-future-has-stopped-talking-to-each-other-and/)

[Scarlett Moffatt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scarlett-moffatt/)

## More by Sonali Deraniyagala

> [“I would plead into the darkness, where are they, bring them back”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonali-deraniyagala/i-would-plead-into-the-darkness-where-are-they-bring-them-back/)

[Sonali Deraniyagala](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonali-deraniyagala/)

> [“I am in the unthinkable situation that people cannot bear to contemplate.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonali-deraniyagala/i-am-in-the-unthinkable-situation-that-people-cannot-bear-to/)

[Sonali Deraniyagala](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonali-deraniyagala/)

> [“the reality of being here eludes me, I can’t focus, I am dazed. And I want to stay this way. If I have too…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonali-deraniyagala/the-reality-of-being-here-eludes-me-i-can-t-focus-i-am-dazed-and-i/)

[Sonali Deraniyagala](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonali-deraniyagala/)

> [“They had become muffled and distant then anyway. This happened in those first days after the wave. I couldn't find their faces, they quivered…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonali-deraniyagala/they-had-become-muffled-and-distant-then-anyway-this-happened-in/)

[Sonali Deraniyagala](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonali-deraniyagala/)

> [“I must stop remembering... The more I remember, the greater my agony. These thoughts stuttered in my mind... I must be more watchful, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonali-deraniyagala/i-must-stop-remembering-the-more-i-remember-the-greater-my-agony/)

[Sonali Deraniyagala](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonali-deraniyagala/)

> [“I was dizzy in that room. I felt faint with disbelief. I held on to the seat of my chair to stay upright. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonali-deraniyagala/i-was-dizzy-in-that-room-i-felt-faint-with-disbelief-i-held-on-to-the/)

[Sonali Deraniyagala](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonali-deraniyagala/)

> [“Their promise, my children's possibilities, still linger in our home.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonali-deraniyagala/their-promise-my-children-s-possibilities-still-linger-in-our-home/)

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[Explore all 10 Sonali Deraniyagala quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonali-deraniyagala/)

## More Avoidance quotes

> [Unmarried couples should get married - that's an excellent tax avoidance measure, if a bit drastic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-whiting/unmarried-couples-should-get-married-that-s-an-excellent-tax/)

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> [All work is the avoidance of harder work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-richardson/all-work-is-the-avoidance-of-harder-work/)

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> [“People spend entire lifetimes trying to avoid the things that have already happened.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/silvia-hartmann/people-spend-entire-lifetimes-trying-to-avoid-the-things-that-have/)

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> [America is not static. America is striving. And sometimes, America requires critique. Jingoism is an avoidance of realism. You can simultaneously love and be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/america-is-not-static-america-is-striving-and-sometimes-america/)

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> [I am not in favour of the takeover of excellent and strategically important British companies by struggling foreign firms whose actions are fuelled by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sainsbury-baron-sainsbury-of-turville/i-am-not-in-favour-of-the-takeover-of-excellent-and-strategically/)

[David Sainsbury, Baron Sainsbury of Turville](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sainsbury-baron-sainsbury-of-turville/)

> [Most human behavior is nothing other than the avoidance of pain and the pursuit of pleasure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/most-human-behavior-is-nothing-other-than-the-avoidance-of-pain-and/)

[Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/)

> [You can gain power by avoidance. You can gain power by doing certain things. You can gain much more power by meditating.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/you-can-gain-power-by-avoidance-you-can-gain-power-by-doing-certain/)

[Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/)

> [“If you love stress, practice avoidance.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-rowe/if-you-love-stress-practice-avoidance/)

Sharon Rowe

> [I've been trying to avoid my problems, and I don't know what to do. I get high, but when I come down, my problems…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eugene-nathaniel-butler/i-ve-been-trying-to-avoid-my-problems-and-i-don-t-know-what-to-do-i/)

[Eugene Nathaniel Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eugene-nathaniel-butler/)

> [All the textbooks talk about avoidance as a classic hallmark of anxiety disorder. So you need a therapist who is sympathetic and understanding but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-stossel/all-the-textbooks-talk-about-avoidance-as-a-classic-hallmark-of/)

[Scott Stossel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-stossel/)

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[Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/)

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[Epicurus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epicurus/)

Browse all 290 Avoidance quotes

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