--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: …though I wouldn’t have admitted it, even…" description: "\"…though I wouldn’t have admitted it, even to myself, I didn’t want God aboard. He was too heavy. I wanted Him approving from a considerable distance. I..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b7/sheldon-vanauken-19025_christ_though-i-wouldn-t-have-admitted-it-even_875646.jpg" --- # …though I wouldn’t have admitted it, even to myself, I… ![“…though I wouldn’t have admitted it, even to myself, I didn’t want God aboard. He was too heavy. I wanted Him approving from a considerable distance. I didn’t want to be thinking of Him. I wanted to be free—like Gypsy. I wanted life itself, the color and fire and loveliness of life. And Christ now…” quote by Sheldon Vanauken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b7/sheldon-vanauken-19025_christ_though-i-wouldn-t-have-admitted-it-even_875646.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b7/sheldon-vanauken-19025_christ_though-i-wouldn-t-have-admitted-it-even_875646.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b7/sheldon-vanauken-19025_christ_though-i-wouldn-t-have-admitted-it-even_875646.jpg) > “…though I wouldn’t have admitted it, even to myself, I didn’t want God aboard. He was too heavy. I wanted Him approving from a considerable distance. I didn’t want to be thinking of Him. I wanted to be free—like Gypsy. I wanted life itself, the color and fire and loveliness of life. And Christ now and then, like a loved poem I could read when I wanted to. I didn’t want us to be swallowed up in God. I wanted holidays from the school of Christ.” [Sheldon Vanauken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheldon-vanauken/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker desires freedom from constant divine presence, craving personal autonomy while still valuing occasional spiritual connection. **In simple terms:** He wants distance from God yet occasional inspiration. Key Takeaway Balance personal freedom with spiritual moments. Themes spirituality autonomy longing Mood contemplative conflicted Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - personal crisis - spiritual seeking - creative work Key Concepts theology existentialism Questions to Reflect On - What does spiritual distance mean for you? - How can one honor both freedom and faith? A Different Perspective Too much distance can lead to isolation and loss of grounding. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Christ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/christ/) [Color](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/color/) [Fire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fire/) [Gypsy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gypsy/) [Holiday](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/holiday/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Life itself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life-itself/) [Loveliness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loveliness/) [School](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/school/) [Thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thinking/) ## Related quotes > [“Fire and love are the same. When you understand fire and are aware of how it gains strength, you can fight it. 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Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis-2/) ## More by Sheldon Vanauken > [“At my father's club, sitting before the fire, we had spoken of 'moments made eternity', meaning what are called timeless moments, moments precisely without…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheldon-vanauken/at-my-father-s-club-sitting-before-the-fire-we-had-spoken-of-moments/) [Sheldon Vanauken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheldon-vanauken/) > [Art is first a seeing and then a revealing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheldon-vanauken/art-is-first-a-seeing-and-then-a-revealing/) [Sheldon Vanauken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheldon-vanauken/) > [...So Englishmen saw it. 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