---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I remember where I was when I wrote that…"
description: "\"I remember where I was when I wrote that story, 'Mermaid in a Jar.' I was at a boyfriend's, and he was the only boy I ever dated who was rich, and his ..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ed/sheila-heti-2776_boyfriend_i-remember-where-i-was-when-i-wrote-that_661586.jpg"
---

#  I remember where I was when I wrote that story, 'Mermaid…

![“I remember where I was when I wrote that story, 'Mermaid in a Jar.' I was at a boyfriend's, and he was the only boy I ever dated who was rich, and his parents had a ski chalet, and I just didn't know how to break up with him, so I decided I would be celibate.” quote by Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ed/sheila-heti-2776_boyfriend_i-remember-where-i-was-when-i-wrote-that_661586.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ed/sheila-heti-2776_boyfriend_i-remember-where-i-was-when-i-wrote-that_661586.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ed/sheila-heti-2776_boyfriend_i-remember-where-i-was-when-i-wrote-that_661586.jpg)

> “I remember where I was when I wrote that story, 'Mermaid in a Jar.' I was at a boyfriend's, and he was the only boy I ever dated who was rich, and his parents had a ski chalet, and I just didn't know how to break up with him, so I decided I would be celibate.”

[Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The author recalls writing a story while entangled in a complex, financially privileged relationship, leading to a personal vow of celibacy to avoid emotional conflict.

**In simple terms:** She wrote a story while in a rich boyfriend relationship, deciding to stay celibate to avoid breakup.

Key Takeaway

Recognize how personal circumstances shape creative decisions.

Themes

relationships creative process personal vows

Mood

reflective conflicted

Type

personal creative

When to use this quote

- writing a novel
- navigating a breakup
- making personal vows
- dealing with wealth disparity

Key Concepts

emotional conflict financial dynamics artistic inspiration

Questions to Reflect On

- How do personal relationships influence artistic output?
- Is celibacy an effective coping strategy?

A Different Perspective

The vow may limit authentic emotional experience and could be unsustainable.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Parents](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parents/) [Story](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/story/)

## Related quotes

> [I always wrote; my first story was published in the magazine The American Girl when I was 11](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sara-paretsky/i-always-wrote-my-first-story-was-published-in-the-magazine-the/)

[Sara Paretsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sara-paretsky/)

> [No one ever wrote a story yet without some real emotional drive behind it--and I have not that drive except where violations of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-p-lovecraft/no-one-ever-wrote-a-story-yet-without-some-real-emotional-drive/)

[H. P. Lovecraft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/h-p-lovecraft/)

> [“Enzo showed a flair for words early and wrote his first story when he was seven, entitled "The horrible sock that smelled bad and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-scalzi/enzo-showed-a-flair-for-words-early-and-wrote-his-first-story-when-he/)

[John Scalzi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-scalzi/)

> [I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mae-west/i-wrote-the-story-myself-it-s-about-a-girl-who-lost-her-reputation/)

[Mae West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mae-west/)

> [Nobody ever wrote a story for me. I told in every story what was really inside my gut, and it came out that way.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kirby/nobody-ever-wrote-a-story-for-me-i-told-in-every-story-what-was/)

[Jack Kirby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kirby/)

> [“I wrote her story because she wanted to live forever and I loved her far more with every word, too much! Even in death…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-m-drake/i-wrote-her-story-because-she-wanted-to-live-forever-and-i-loved-her/)

[robert m drake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-m-drake/)

> [I was probably 35 when I wrote the first story. The voice is kind of a mix in that it has a young voice,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-johnson/i-was-probably-35-when-i-wrote-the-first-story-the-voice-is-kind-of-a/)

[Denis Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-johnson/)

> [On lady novelists: As artists they're rot, but as providers they're oil wells; they gush. Norris said she never wrote a story unless it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-parker/on-lady-novelists-as-artists-they-re-rot-but-as-providers-they-re-oil/)

[Dorothy Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-parker/)

> [When I wrote my first story, all the characters were teenagers because I think 16, 17 is a great age.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-kagawa/when-i-wrote-my-first-story-all-the-characters-were-teenagers-because/)

[Julie Kagawa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-kagawa/)

> [I wrote 'The story of O' alone, for Dominique Aury, to interest him, to please him, to occupy him. I wasn't young, nor particularly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-desclos/i-wrote-the-story-of-o-alone-for-dominique-aury-to-interest-him-to/)

[Anne Desclos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-desclos/)

> [I wrote my first story in second grade, and was trying novel-length by sixth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-hodge/i-wrote-my-first-story-in-second-grade-and-was-trying-novel-length-by/)

[Brian Hodge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-hodge/)

> [I wrote a story about a character who looks like Harry Styles. But it has nothing to do with Harry Styles at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-todd/i-wrote-a-story-about-a-character-who-looks-like-harry-styles-but-it/)

[Anna Todd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-todd/)

> [Once I had all the facts in, I found I didn't have the immoral courage to pull the caper. So I wrote it as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/theodore-sturgeon/once-i-had-all-the-facts-in-i-found-i-didn-t-have-the-immoral-courage/)

[Theodore Sturgeon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/theodore-sturgeon/)

> [I've just always written, and always considered myself a writer. I wrote my first story when I was five. There was nothing else I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jami-attenberg/i-ve-just-always-written-and-always-considered-myself-a-writer-i/)

[Jami Attenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jami-attenberg/)

> [“Once, several years ago, I was looking around for something and moved a piece of furniture only to behold behind it a fuzzy little…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eve-o-schaub/once-several-years-ago-i-was-looking-around-for-something-and-moved-a/)

[Eve O. Schaub](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eve-o-schaub/)

## More by Sheila Heti

> [I believe there's a platonic ideal for every book that is written, like there's the perfect version of the book somewhere in the ether,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/i-believe-there-s-a-platonic-ideal-for-every-book-that-is-written/)

[Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/)

> [I really enjoyed the process of 'Women in Clothes,' but there's no way I would have done that again. It felt more like being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/i-really-enjoyed-the-process-of-women-in-clothes-but-there-s-no-way-i/)

[Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/)

> [“style is about knowing what you like and why you like it, more than anything else. GRACE”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/style-is-about-knowing-what-you-like-and-why-you-like-it-more-than/)

[Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/)

> [I'd rather that people could be both entertained and given rest while reading my book than for someone to have to put the book…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/i-d-rather-that-people-could-be-both-entertained-and-given-rest-while/)

[Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/)

> [“I know that character exists from the outside alone. I know that inside the body there's just temperature.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/i-know-that-character-exists-from-the-outside-alone-i-know-that/)

[Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/)

> [I don't think about the reader when I'm writing, but I do when I'm editing, of course. For instance, I self-consciously didn't want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/i-don-t-think-about-the-reader-when-i-m-writing-but-i-do-when-i-m/)

[Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/)

> [He’s just another man who wants to teach me something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/he-s-just-another-man-who-wants-to-teach-me-something/)

[Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/)

> [“She had thought that when someone died, it would be like they went into a different room. She had not known that life itself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/she-had-thought-that-when-someone-died-it-would-be-like-they-went/)

[Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/)

> [It's so weird how our existence hinges on just absolute crazy chance, but it feels so essential. It's like, 'Nothing would be here if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/it-s-so-weird-how-our-existence-hinges-on-just-absolute-crazy-chance/)

[Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/)

> [In 'Sweet Days of Discipline,' the narrator, years after graduating, fortuitously encounters her old friend Frederique at a movie theatre. Frederique invites her home.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/in-sweet-days-of-discipline-the-narrator-years-after-graduating/)

[Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/)

> [Every choice you make has higher stakes - or that's how it feels.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/every-choice-you-make-has-higher-stakes-or-that-s-how-it-feels/)

[Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/)

> [Women without children can help mothers, and we can just be all in this together.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/women-without-children-can-help-mothers-and-we-can-just-be-all-in/)

[Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/)

> [The reason I write is because I have questions. What I don't want is for people to forget that I'm a novelist and think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/the-reason-i-write-is-because-i-have-questions-what-i-don-t-want-is/)

[Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/)

> [“But style, I also learned, is not about strictly copying others, because style is not transferable.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/but-style-i-also-learned-is-not-about-strictly-copying-others-because/)

[Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/)

> [Renown is something people have always wanted, but maybe what's modern is that it's considered a virtue, this desire, rather than a vice. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/renown-is-something-people-have-always-wanted-but-maybe-what-s-modern/)

[Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/)

[Explore all 150 Sheila Heti quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/)

## More Boyfriend quotes

> [I want a man that when I come running up to him with tears running down my face, the first thing he says is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-want-a-man-that-when-i-come-running-up-to-him-with-tears-running/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Dear boyfriend, Those 800 miles, I can feel them. They arent just 800 miles of tar on this earth, theyre the cruel and manipulating…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/dear-boyfriend-those-800-miles-i-can-feel-them-they-arent-just-800/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [A Real Boyfriend does the sweetest things randomly because he never wants her to feel unappreciated.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/enhance-dreams/a-real-boyfriend-does-the-sweetest-things-randomly-because-he-never/)

Enhance Dreams

> [A real boyfriend can see the pain behind a girls smile.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patience/a-real-boyfriend-can-see-the-pain-behind-a-girls-smile/)

Patience

> [When I was in my twenties and just so sexually prolific, the first time I went to Machu Picchu, this guy, a spiritual teacher,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-harrelson/when-i-was-in-my-twenties-and-just-so-sexually-prolific-the-first/)

[Woody Harrelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-harrelson/)

> [I look for someone who has confidence. Also someone whose energetic, cause I'm NOT that energetic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-jonas/i-look-for-someone-who-has-confidence-also-someone-whose-energetic/)

[Nick Jonas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-jonas/)

> [While youre on the other line Ill keep thinking about, Ways that I can make you mine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emanuel-sebastiao/while-youre-on-the-other-line-ill-keep-thinking-about-ways-that-i-can/)

[Emanuel Sebastiao](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emanuel-sebastiao/)

> [Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/al-unser/dad-taught-me-everything-i-know-unfortunately-he-didn-t-teach-me/)

[Al Unser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/al-unser/)

> [You arent the only one sitting home alone on a Saturday night. Wonder if your future boyfriend/girlfriend is doing the same thing you are](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-arent-the-only-one-sitting-home-alone-on-a-saturday-night-wonder/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [In the night all I think about is you](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christine-ramkran/in-the-night-all-i-think-about-is-you/)

[Christine Ramkran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christine-ramkran/)

> [Don't punish your next boyfriend for what an ex did. Not all men are the same.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/don-t-punish-your-next-boyfriend-for-what-an-ex-did-not-all-men-are/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I want a man who will give me the strength and saupport to fight...a real man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-want-a-man-who-will-give-me-the-strength-and-saupport-to-fight-a/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [My boyfriend does this really cute thing where he forgets to exsist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/unkown/my-boyfriend-does-this-really-cute-thing-where-he-forgets-to-exsist/)

Unkown

> [I need this&lt;3](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-need-this-3/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Niggas be wanting a girl who plays video games, watch sports, have tattoos &amp; wear jordans. Sounds like you want a boyfriend nigga.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/2-chainz/niggas-be-wanting-a-girl-who-plays-video-games-watch-sports-have/)

[2 Chainz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/2-chainz/)

Browse all 2,377 Boyfriend quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "I remember where I was when I wrote that story, 'Mermaid in a Jar.' I was at a boyfriend's, and he was the only boy I ever dated who was rich, and his parents had a ski chalet, and I just didn't know how to break up with him, so I decided I would be celibate.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Sheila Heti"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/i-remember-where-i-was-when-i-wrote-that-story-mermaid-in-a-jar-i-was/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Boyfriend"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/i-remember-where-i-was-when-i-wrote-that-story-mermaid-in-a-jar-i-was/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ed/sheila-heti-2776_boyfriend_i-remember-where-i-was-when-i-wrote-that_661586.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ed/sheila-heti-2776_boyfriend_i-remember-where-i-was-when-i-wrote-that_661586.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ed/sheila-heti-2776_boyfriend_i-remember-where-i-was-when-i-wrote-that_661586.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“I remember where I was when I wrote that story, 'Mermaid in a Jar.' I was at a boyfriend's, and he was the…” — Sheila Heti",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Sheila Heti",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "I remember where I was when...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/i-remember-where-i-was-when-i-wrote-that-story-mermaid-in-a-jar-i-was/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/i-remember-where-i-was-when-i-wrote-that-story-mermaid-in-a-jar-i-was/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
