--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: People won't give you feedback until they…" description: "\"People won't give you feedback until they think you actually want it.\" — Sheila Heen" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/750/sheila-heen-43305_feedback_people-won-t-give-you-feedback-until-the_2883360.jpg" --- # People won't give you feedback until they think you… ![“People won't give you feedback until they think you actually want it.” quote by Sheila Heen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/750/sheila-heen-43305_feedback_people-won-t-give-you-feedback-until-the_2883360.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/750/sheila-heen-43305_feedback_people-won-t-give-you-feedback-until-the_2883360.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/750/sheila-heen-43305_feedback_people-won-t-give-you-feedback-until-the_2883360.jpg) > “People won't give you feedback until they think you actually want it.” [Sheila Heen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heen/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People often with feedback only when they think you desire it. **In simple terms:** Feedback needs perceived openness. Key Takeaway Invite honest feedback. Themes communication feedback psychology Mood encouraging reflective Type advice observational When to use this quote - team meetings - coaching - performance reviews - relationships Key Concepts leadership personal development Questions to Reflect On - How can you create safe feedback spaces? - What signals show you welcome critique? A Different Perspective People may with honest feedback despite openness. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Giving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/giving/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thinking/) ## Related quotes > [I've had to realize I need to distance myself a bit from relying on the feedback. I think it's wonderful but can also be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-mcgorry/i-ve-had-to-realize-i-need-to-distance-myself-a-bit-from-relying-on/) [Matt McGorry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-mcgorry/) > [We each have two human needs: To learn and grow & to be respected, accepted and loved the way you are. Even though feedback…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heen/we-each-have-two-human-needs-to-learn-and-grow-to-be-respected/) [Sheila Heen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heen/) > [The fastest way to change the feedback culture in an organization is for the leaders to become better receivers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heen/the-fastest-way-to-change-the-feedback-culture-in-an-organization-is/) [Sheila Heen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heen/) > [Other people have all kinds of information about you that is invisible to you. How do you get feedback?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heen/other-people-have-all-kinds-of-information-about-you-that-is/) [Sheila Heen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heen/) > [There are three kinds of feedback and organizations must utilize all three to be effective: 1. Evaluation. This rates you against standards and peers.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heen/there-are-three-kinds-of-feedback-and-organizations-must-utilize-all/) [Sheila Heen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heen/) > [I actually want to face Daniel Cormier.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/junior-dos-santos/i-actually-want-to-face-daniel-cormier/) [Junior dos Santos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/junior-dos-santos/) > [I want to give you a way to eat your broccoli in a way that you actually want to eat it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ella-woodward/i-want-to-give-you-a-way-to-eat-your-broccoli-in-a-way-that-you/) [Ella Woodward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ella-woodward/) > [“I want a mission. Not someone else’s mission, either. I want my own mission. Something I think up myself. Something I actually want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-s-king/i-want-a-mission-not-someone-else-s-mission-either-i-want-my-own/) [A.S. King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-s-king/) > [I found a belief system that worked for me, and I said, you know what, 'I actually do want to give being with men…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/la-porsha-renae/i-found-a-belief-system-that-worked-for-me-and-i-said-you-know-what-i/) [La'Porsha Renae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/la-porsha-renae/) > [There have been times I wanted to cry on interview, but it hasn't been because that's what they're trying to conjure. No. I think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-flansburgh/there-have-been-times-i-wanted-to-cry-on-interview-but-it-hasn-t-been/) [John Flansburgh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-flansburgh/) > [Give users what they actually want, not what they say they want.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathy-sierra/give-users-what-they-actually-want-not-what-they-say-they-want/) [Kathy Sierra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathy-sierra/) > [Where you're from shapes you, but you can actually do whatever you want.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-clementine/where-you-re-from-shapes-you-but-you-can-actually-do-whatever-you-want/) [Benjamin Clementine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-clementine/) > [He's just flirting, he doesn't actually want you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/he-s-just-flirting-he-doesn-t-actually-want-you/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [What comes next? Super Mario 128? Actually, that's what I want to do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shigeru-miyamoto/what-comes-next-super-mario-128-actually-that-s-what-i-want-to-do/) [Shigeru Miyamoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shigeru-miyamoto/) > [“You can't save anyone from themselves. They have to actually want to do the work.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-s-baker/you-can-t-save-anyone-from-themselves-they-have-to-actually-want-to/) [Robin S. Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-s-baker/) ## More by Sheila Heen > [The five C's of expanding your capacity. 1. Build your confidence. 2. Expand your connections. 3. Improve your competence. 4. Strengthen your character. If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heen/the-five-c-s-of-expanding-your-capacity-1-build-your-confidence-2/) [Sheila Heen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heen/) > [There are three kinds of feedback and organizations must utilize all three to be effective: 1. Evaluation. This rates you against standards and peers.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heen/there-are-three-kinds-of-feedback-and-organizations-must-utilize-all/) [Sheila Heen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heen/) > [Other people have all kinds of information about you that is invisible to you. How do you get feedback?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heen/other-people-have-all-kinds-of-information-about-you-that-is/) [Sheila Heen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heen/) > [The fastest way to change the feedback culture in an organization is for the leaders to become better receivers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heen/the-fastest-way-to-change-the-feedback-culture-in-an-organization-is/) [Sheila Heen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heen/) > [We each have two human needs: To learn and grow & to be respected, accepted and loved the way you are. Even though feedback…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heen/we-each-have-two-human-needs-to-learn-and-grow-to-be-respected/) [Sheila Heen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heen/) > [Evaluation and coaching get tangled together. When this occurs, the noise of evaluation drowns out coaching efforts. Think of this like a term paper.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heen/evaluation-and-coaching-get-tangled-together-when-this-occurs-the/) [Sheila Heen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heen/) > [We swim in an ocean of feedback.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heen/we-swim-in-an-ocean-of-feedback/) [Sheila Heen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heen/) > [Learning to receive feedback from each other is what leadership is all about.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heen/learning-to-receive-feedback-from-each-other-is-what-leadership-is/) [Sheila Heen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heen/) [Explore all 9 Sheila Heen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heen/) ## More Feedback quotes > [There's nothing like getting feedback that's positive and supportive. That's what I'm all about. I'm really just genuinely doing good music. I'm not looking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tiffany-villarreal/there-s-nothing-like-getting-feedback-that-s-positive-and-supportive/) [Tiffany Villarreal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tiffany-villarreal/) > [My writing process is very feedback-based. When I do stand-up, I listen to the audience. I try to understand what's connecting, what's not connecting,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/my-writing-process-is-very-feedback-based-when-i-do-stand-up-i-listen/) [Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/) > [A lot of the kids gave a lot of positive feedback about if I ever became a coach, they would love to play in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penny-hardaway/a-lot-of-the-kids-gave-a-lot-of-positive-feedback-about-if-i-ever/) [Penny Hardaway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penny-hardaway/) > [Most enjoyable activities are not natural; they demand an effort that initially one is reluctant to make. But once the interaction starts to provide…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mihaly-csikszentmihalyi/most-enjoyable-activities-are-not-natural-they-demand-an-effort-that/) [Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mihaly-csikszentmihalyi/) > [Go to a playground: Little girls get called 'bossy' all the time, a word that's almost never used for boys. And that leads directly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheryl-sandberg/go-to-a-playground-little-girls-get-called-bossy-all-the-time-a-word/) [Sheryl Sandberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheryl-sandberg/) > [I have to thank batting coach Sanjay Bangar for providing valuable inputs. He gave me honest feedback about how poorly I was batting and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ravichandran-ashwin/i-have-to-thank-batting-coach-sanjay-bangar-for-providing-valuable/) [Ravichandran Ashwin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ravichandran-ashwin/) > [The feedback that I get from my association with Gomez is heartwarming. It is very difficult for me to take anything but a positive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-astin/the-feedback-that-i-get-from-my-association-with-gomez-is/) [John Astin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-astin/) > [I love Twitter, you know? I try to read everything I can on Twitter. You get so much nice feedback about stuff, you know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tiesto/i-love-twitter-you-know-i-try-to-read-everything-i-can-on-twitter-you/) [Tiesto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tiesto/) > [Real writers-that is, capital W Writers-rarely make much money. Their biggest reward is the occasional reader's response… Commentators-in-print voicing big fat opinions-you might call…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malcolm-forbes/real-writers-that-is-capital-w-writers-rarely-make-much-money-their/) [Malcolm Forbes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malcolm-forbes/) > [Twitter is a very powerful platform for adversarial feedback.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kenneth-cole/twitter-is-a-very-powerful-platform-for-adversarial-feedback/) [Kenneth Cole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kenneth-cole/) > [When you're writing a novel, you spend four years sitting in your basement and a year waiting for the book to come out and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/when-you-re-writing-a-novel-you-spend-four-years-sitting-in-your/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [The 'Pro-Sim' is pretty much the best simulator you can buy, because of the steering motor and the pedals. The force feedback we get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lando-norris/the-pro-sim-is-pretty-much-the-best-simulator-you-can-buy-because-of/) [Lando Norris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lando-norris/) > [What I like about the internet, what I see there is that its much more democratic. I have much more control, and if what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-greene/what-i-like-about-the-internet-what-i-see-there-is-that-its-much-more/) [Robert Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-greene/) > [ \[Hunt for the Wilderpeople\] people seem to be just finding it hilarious in Sundance. I would think that judging on the feedback I get;… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sam-neill/hunt-for-the-wilderpeople-people-seem-to-be-just-finding-it-hilarious/) [Sam Neill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sam-neill/) > [If you get honest feedback and do nothing about it, then the feedback will stop.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-mulally/if-you-get-honest-feedback-and-do-nothing-about-it-then-the-feedback/) [Alan Mulally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-mulally/) Browse all 745 Feedback quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "People won't give you feedback until they think you actually want it.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Sheila Heen" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heen/people-won-t-give-you-feedback-until-they-think-you-actually-want-it/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Feedback" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heen/people-won-t-give-you-feedback-until-they-think-you-actually-want-it/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/750/sheila-heen-43305_feedback_people-won-t-give-you-feedback-until-the_2883360.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/750/sheila-heen-43305_feedback_people-won-t-give-you-feedback-until-the_2883360.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/750/sheila-heen-43305_feedback_people-won-t-give-you-feedback-until-the_2883360.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“People won't give you feedback until they think you actually want it.” — Sheila Heen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Sheila Heen", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heen/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "People won't give you feedback until...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heen/people-won-t-give-you-feedback-until-they-think-you-actually-want-it/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heen/people-won-t-give-you-feedback-until-they-think-you-actually-want-it/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```