---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Sometimes people in abusive situations…"
description: "\"“Sometimes people in abusive situations think they’re responsible for the other person’s happiness or that they’re going to fix them and make them feel..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e36/sharon-salzberg-562_abuse_sometimes-people-in-abusive-situations-t_1784105.png"
---

#  Sometimes people in abusive situations think they’re…

![“Sometimes people in abusive situations think they’re responsible for the other person’s happiness or that they’re going to fix them and make them feel better. The practice of equanimity teaches that it’s not all up to you to make someone else happy.” quote by Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e36/sharon-salzberg-562_abuse_sometimes-people-in-abusive-situations-t_1784105.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e36/sharon-salzberg-562_abuse_sometimes-people-in-abusive-situations-t_1784105.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e36/sharon-salzberg-562_abuse_sometimes-people-in-abusive-situations-t_1784105.png)

> ““Sometimes people in abusive situations think they’re responsible for the other person’s happiness or that they’re going to fix them and make them feel better. The practice of equanimity teaches that it’s not all up to you to make someone else happy.””

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

We often feel responsible for others’ happiness, but equanimity reminds us that each person’s joy is their own duty.

**In simple terms:** You’re not fully responsible for others’ happiness.

Key Takeaway

Practice compassion without over‑identifying.

Themes

compassion responsibility equanimity

Mood

calm reflective

Type

spiritual self‑help

When to use this quote

- relationships
- therapy
- family
- community

Key Concepts

interdependence emotional boundaries

Questions to Reflect On

- How do you set emotional limits?
- When does caring become codependency?

A Different Perspective

Over‑responsibility can lead to burnout; balance is needed.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Abuse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abuse/) [Abusive Situations](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abusive-situations-1887034/) [Equanimity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/equanimity/) [Equanimity Teaches](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/equanimity-teaches-1887033/) [Happiness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/happiness/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [People Abusive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people-abusive-917955/) [Practice Equanimity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/practice-equanimity-431528/) [Real love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real-love/) [Real love quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real-love-quotes/)

## Related quotes

> [“Control the senses, practice equanimity. Live by disciplinary rules. Associate with good friends who are not lazy and live purely. Be courteous and well-mannered,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/th-ch-nh-t-h-nh/control-the-senses-practice-equanimity-live-by-disciplinary-rules/)

[Thích Nhất Hạnh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/th-ch-nh-t-h-nh/)

> [“Without equanimity, we might give love to others only in an effort to bridge the inevitable and healthy space that always exists between two…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/without-equanimity-we-might-give-love-to-others-only-in-an-effort-to/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [The Internet used to be fun, it was nice, now it's a way for people to be abusive towards one another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vogue-williams/the-internet-used-to-be-fun-it-was-nice-now-it-s-a-way-for-people-to/)

[Vogue Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vogue-williams/)

> [“Some people have abusive, negative, controlling tendencies in their blood; they are wired for havoc, bickering and deception.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bryant-mcgill/some-people-have-abusive-negative-controlling-tendencies-in-their/)

[Bryant McGill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bryant-mcgill/)

> [Strangely, I have a huge aversion to movies that try to teach healthy people an abusive lesson about the darkness in the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patty-jenkins/strangely-i-have-a-huge-aversion-to-movies-that-try-to-teach-healthy/)

[Patty Jenkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patty-jenkins/)

> [People who are in abusive relationships often don't realise it, but it slowly seems to build until you're trapped.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/georgina-campbell/people-who-are-in-abusive-relationships-often-don-t-realise-it-but-it/)

[Georgina Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/georgina-campbell/)

> [I can't believe people are so abusive about my weight, or anyone's. I feel like people in the limelight can't do right from wrong.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zara-mcdermott/i-can-t-believe-people-are-so-abusive-about-my-weight-or-anyone-s-i/)

[Zara McDermott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zara-mcdermott/)

> [There are more people abusive to others than lie open to abuse themselves; but the humor goes round, and he that laughs at me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seneca-the-younger/there-are-more-people-abusive-to-others-than-lie-open-to-abuse/)

[Seneca the Younger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seneca-the-younger/)

> [“When we contemplate the miracle of embodied life, we begin to partner with our bodies in a kinder way.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/when-we-contemplate-the-miracle-of-embodied-life-we-begin-to-partner/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [“As we explore new ways of loving and being loved by others, we need to equip ourselves with open, pliant minds; we need to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/as-we-explore-new-ways-of-loving-and-being-loved-by-others-we-need-to/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [“Asking questions is an opportunity for creativity and personal expression, both for the person asking and the person answering.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/asking-questions-is-an-opportunity-for-creativity-and-personal/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [“The paradigm for our relationships is formed from our earliest experiences and is actually hardwired into our neurological and emotional network.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/the-paradigm-for-our-relationships-is-formed-from-our-earliest/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [“Loving ourselves calls us to give up the illusion that we can control everything and focuses us on building our inner resource of resilience.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/loving-ourselves-calls-us-to-give-up-the-illusion-that-we-can-control/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [“Even when we do our very best to treat those close to us with utmost respect and understanding, conflict happens. That’s life. That’s human…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/even-when-we-do-our-very-best-to-treat-those-close-to-us-with-utmost/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [“How we traverse the space between us when conflict arises has a profound effect on the health and longevity of our relationships.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/how-we-traverse-the-space-between-us-when-conflict-arises-has-a/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

## More by Sharon Salzberg

> [Some things hurt, you know, and there's pain. But we magnify the suffering of it often, I think, by our reactions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/some-things-hurt-you-know-and-there-s-pain-but-we-magnify-the/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [“How we traverse the space between us when conflict arises has a profound effect on the health and longevity of our relationships.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/how-we-traverse-the-space-between-us-when-conflict-arises-has-a/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [“Even when we do our very best to treat those close to us with utmost respect and understanding, conflict happens. That’s life. That’s human…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/even-when-we-do-our-very-best-to-treat-those-close-to-us-with-utmost/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [“Loving ourselves calls us to give up the illusion that we can control everything and focuses us on building our inner resource of resilience.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/loving-ourselves-calls-us-to-give-up-the-illusion-that-we-can-control/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [In order to do anything about the suffering of the world we must have the strength to face it without turning away.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/in-order-to-do-anything-about-the-suffering-of-the-world-we-must-have/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [“When we believe a wounding story, our whole world is diminished.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/when-we-believe-a-wounding-story-our-whole-world-is-diminished/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [“The paradigm for our relationships is formed from our earliest experiences and is actually hardwired into our neurological and emotional network.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/the-paradigm-for-our-relationships-is-formed-from-our-earliest/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [Vulnerability in the face of constant change is what we share, whatever our present condition.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/vulnerability-in-the-face-of-constant-change-is-what-we-share/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [“Asking questions is an opportunity for creativity and personal expression, both for the person asking and the person answering.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/asking-questions-is-an-opportunity-for-creativity-and-personal/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [Compassion isn't morose; it's something replenishing and opening; that's why it makes us happy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/compassion-isn-t-morose-it-s-something-replenishing-and-opening-that/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [“When we open our hearts to the breadth of our experiences, we learn to tune into our needs, unique perceptions, thoughts & feelings”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/when-we-open-our-hearts-to-the-breadth-of-our-experiences-we-learn-to/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [“As we explore new ways of loving and being loved by others, we need to equip ourselves with open, pliant minds; we need to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/as-we-explore-new-ways-of-loving-and-being-loved-by-others-we-need-to/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [Even in the midst of devastation, something within us always points the way to freedom.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/even-in-the-midst-of-devastation-something-within-us-always-points/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [“It's important to investigate the nature of anger because it is such a powerful energy and can be so destructive. When we can face…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/it-s-important-to-investigate-the-nature-of-anger-because-it-is-such/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [“When we contemplate the miracle of embodied life, we begin to partner with our bodies in a kinder way.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/when-we-contemplate-the-miracle-of-embodied-life-we-begin-to-partner/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

[Explore all 473 Sharon Salzberg quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

## More Abuse quotes

> [I wrote when I was a young teen, but I didn't put an eye on the available markets until I was seventeen. The next…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-reed/i-wrote-when-i-was-a-young-teen-but-i-didn-t-put-an-eye-on-the/)

[Robert Reed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-reed/)

> [Amongst the financial Twitterati, the term 'muppets' has come to describe any client used and abused by some financial predator. I've adopted the term…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barry-ritholtz/amongst-the-financial-twitterati-the-term-muppets-has-come-to/)

[Barry Ritholtz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barry-ritholtz/)

> [Being nice is okay,but don't allow anybody to abuse it...try to fight for your self when you know your on the right way...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/being-nice-is-okay-but-don-t-allow-anybody-to-abuse-it-try-to-fight/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“Build a bridge over shame by teaching kids about sexual abuse. Give them a chance to run to us should they encounter it. Be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-byers-ruch/build-a-bridge-over-shame-by-teaching-kids-about-sexual-abuse-give/)

[Carolyn Byers Ruch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-byers-ruch/)

> [It is sure that those are most desirous of honour or glory who cry out loudest of its abuse and the vanity of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/baruch-spinoza/it-is-sure-that-those-are-most-desirous-of-honour-or-glory-who-cry/)

[Baruch Spinoza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/baruch-spinoza/)

> [“The sole reason I stand to open it up now is that lots of people who are in pain just like I was, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-dsouza/the-sole-reason-i-stand-to-open-it-up-now-is-that-lots-of-people-who/)

[Patricia Dsouza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-dsouza/)

> [Democracy must be built through open societies that share information. When there is information, there is enlightenment. When there is debate, there are solutions.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/atifete-jahjaga/democracy-must-be-built-through-open-societies-that-share-information/)

[Atifete Jahjaga](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/atifete-jahjaga/)

> [I have a theory that all abuse, no matter what kind of abuse it is, is foremost an assault on the mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-westover/i-have-a-theory-that-all-abuse-no-matter-what-kind-of-abuse-it-is-is/)

[Tara Westover](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-westover/)

> [“Blaming therapy, social work and other caring professions for the confabulation of testimony of 'satanic ritual abuse' legitimated a programme of political and social…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-salter/blaming-therapy-social-work-and-other-caring-professions-for-the/)

[Michael Salter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-salter/)

> [Finally, the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-cumming/finally-the-scariest-thing-about-abuse-of-any-shape-or-form-is-in-my/)

[Alan Cumming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-cumming/)

> [“Research on organised abuse emphasises the diversity of organised abuse cases, and the ways in which serious forms of child maltreatment cluster in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-salter/research-on-organised-abuse-emphasises-the-diversity-of-organised/)

[Michael Salter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-salter/)

> [“Stand up for yourself. Never give any one permission to abuse you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lailah-gifty-akita/stand-up-for-yourself-never-give-any-one-permission-to-abuse-you/)

[Lailah Gifty Akita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lailah-gifty-akita/)

> [All governments should be pressured to correct their abuses of human rights.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-stallman/all-governments-should-be-pressured-to-correct-their-abuses-of-human/)

[Richard Stallman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-stallman/)

> [“Words are free. It does not mean you should abuse them. Be kind with them. They will mirror your actions.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hadinet-tekie/words-are-free-it-does-not-mean-you-should-abuse-them-be-kind-with/)

[Hadinet Tekie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hadinet-tekie/)

> [My illness is one often characterized by dramatic overspending - in my case through frenzied shopping sprees, credit card abuse, excessive hoarding of unnecessary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-behrman/my-illness-is-one-often-characterized-by-dramatic-overspending-in-my/)

[Andy Behrman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-behrman/)

[Browse all 3,113 Abuse quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abuse/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“Sometimes people in abusive situations think they’re responsible for the other person’s happiness or that they’re going to fix them and make them feel better. The practice of equanimity teaches that it’s not all up to you to make someone else happy.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Sharon Salzberg"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/sometimes-people-in-abusive-situations-think-they-re-responsible-for/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Abuse"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/sometimes-people-in-abusive-situations-think-they-re-responsible-for/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e36/sharon-salzberg-562_abuse_sometimes-people-in-abusive-situations-t_1784105.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e36/sharon-salzberg-562_abuse_sometimes-people-in-abusive-situations-t_1784105.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e36/sharon-salzberg-562_abuse_sometimes-people-in-abusive-situations-t_1784105.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Sometimes people in abusive situations think they’re responsible for the other person’s happiness or that…” — Sharon Salzberg",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Sharon Salzberg",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“Sometimes people in abusive situations think...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/sometimes-people-in-abusive-situations-think-they-re-responsible-for/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/sometimes-people-in-abusive-situations-think-they-re-responsible-for/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```