--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If your definition of love is wanting to…" description: "\"“If your definition of love is wanting to see another person authentically happy and living a fulfilled life, then the answer is no. Psychological abus..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a2/shannon-thomas-3888_definition-of-love_if-your-definition-of-love-is-wanting-to_3153075.jpg" --- # If your definition of love is wanting to see another… ![“If your definition of love is wanting to see another person authentically happy and living a fulfilled life, then the answer is no. Psychological abusers cannot feel love. They can only mimic what love looks like.” quote by Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a2/shannon-thomas-3888_definition-of-love_if-your-definition-of-love-is-wanting-to_3153075.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a2/shannon-thomas-3888_definition-of-love_if-your-definition-of-love-is-wanting-to_3153075.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a2/shannon-thomas-3888_definition-of-love_if-your-definition-of-love-is-wanting-to_3153075.jpg) > ““If your definition of love is wanting to see another person authentically happy and living a fulfilled life, then the answer is no. Psychological abusers cannot feel love. They can only mimic what love looks like.”” [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Abusive individuals cannot experience genuine love; they only imitate its appearance. **In simple terms:** Abusers mimic love, not feel it. Key Takeaway Recognize and avoid toxic relationships. Themes psychology abuse relationships Mood cautious empathetic Type educational warning When to use this quote - counseling - personal boundaries - support groups - education workshops Key Concepts emotional manipulation attachment theory love myths Questions to Reflect On - What signs indicate love is being mimicked? - How can victims protect themselves? A Different Perspective Abusers may rationalize behavior, making it hard to identify. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Abusers Feel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abusers-feel-1816107/) [Definition Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/definition-love/) [Definition of love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/definition-of-love/) [Feel Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feel-love/) [Fulfilled life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fulfilled-life/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love Does](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-does/) [Mimic Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mimic-love-5668253/) [Psychological Abusers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychological-abusers-524353/) ## Related quotes > [“Some people wonder if abusers can feel love or affection for their targets. The answer to that depends on your own definition of love.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/some-people-wonder-if-abusers-can-feel-love-or-affection-for-their/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“Psychological abusers like people who make them look or feel good.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/psychological-abusers-like-people-who-make-them-look-or-feel-good/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“The ability of the abuser to harm someone close to him or her fits perfectly into the lack of relational attachment that is present…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/the-ability-of-the-abuser-to-harm-someone-close-to-him-or-her-fits/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“Psychological abusers do not realize that people authentically grown weary of their ridiculousness, find recovery from the abuse, and eventually move on without looking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/psychological-abusers-do-not-realize-that-people-authentically-grown/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“Normal people don’t play all the toxic games psychological abusers do, and yet, survivors end up initially blaming themselves.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/normal-people-don-t-play-all-the-toxic-games-psychological-abusers-do/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“Psychological abusers are known for becoming jealous of any attention not being given to them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/psychological-abusers-are-known-for-becoming-jealous-of-any-attention/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“Rather than being insecure, psychological abusers are easily offended, consumed with themselves, and want things just their way.   Each”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/rather-than-being-insecure-psychological-abusers-are-easily-offended/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“psychological abusers damage others – not out of impaired judgement – but because they enjoy the control they gain from abusing people.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/psychological-abusers-damage-others-not-out-of-impaired-judgement-but/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“The important point to remember is that most outwardly expressed emotions of psychological abusers are for a distinct purpose; that is usually to harm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/the-important-point-to-remember-is-that-most-outwardly-expressed/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“Tenderness from empaths will be used against them time and time again by psychological abusers.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/tenderness-from-empaths-will-be-used-against-them-time-and-time-again/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [Love is a continual interrogation. I don’t know of a better definition of love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/milan-kundera/love-is-a-continual-interrogation-i-don-t-know-of-a-better-definition/) [Milan Kundera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/milan-kundera/) > [My definition of Love: You think someone likes you and then you start liking them back and soon they'reeverything you think about all day…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahmoud-el-hallab/my-definition-of-love-you-think-someone-likes-you-and-then-you-start/) [Mahmoud El Hallab](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahmoud-el-hallab/) > [If someone explains me the definition of love, I will give my life to the person. Love is a thing which is difficult to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/randeep-hooda/if-someone-explains-me-the-definition-of-love-i-will-give-my-life-to/) [Randeep Hooda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/randeep-hooda/) > [When I used to think about the definition of love, I used to think of having someone there for youand only that. But now…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-person/when-i-used-to-think-about-the-definition-of-love-i-used-to-think-of/) [A Person](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-person/) > [“I admired how perfectly matched they seemed to be, and I started to wonder about my own, personal definition of love. Had it been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/morgan-parker/i-admired-how-perfectly-matched-they-seemed-to-be-and-i-started-to/) [Morgan Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/morgan-parker/) ## More by Shannon Thomas > [“By the time survivors are compelled to leave their psychologically abusive relationships, they do not see any other viable option but to leave. They…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/by-the-time-survivors-are-compelled-to-leave-their-psychologically/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“This is because in the legalistic church, God (or pronounced “Gawd” if you’re in the southern regions of the country) is coming to smite…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/this-is-because-in-the-legalistic-church-god-or-pronounced-gawd-if/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“A psychological abuser will find a survivor’s emotional soft spots and exploit them for control and entertainment.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/a-psychological-abuser-will-find-a-survivor-s-emotional-soft-spots/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“Toxic people are great actors. They will utilize whichever props are available to maintain control in the relationship.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/toxic-people-are-great-actors-they-will-utilize-whichever-props-are/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“If we have a high level of emotional capacity, it predisposes us to stay in abusive environments longer. That is not a great thing.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/if-we-have-a-high-level-of-emotional-capacity-it-predisposes-us-to/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“A Sociopath will run you over, scold you for being in their way, and have a smirk because secretly they get entertainment out of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/a-sociopath-will-run-you-over-scold-you-for-being-in-their-way-and/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“Toxic people absolutely refuse to have normal human flaws and weaknesses. They do not see themselves as average people.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/toxic-people-absolutely-refuse-to-have-normal-human-flaws-and/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“Some people wonder if abusers can feel love or affection for their targets. The answer to that depends on your own definition of love.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/some-people-wonder-if-abusers-can-feel-love-or-affection-for-their/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“Some are quietly deteriorating the person’s self-esteem through the emotional game of abandonment. Being present physically but checked out emotionally is not a marriage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/some-are-quietly-deteriorating-the-person-s-self-esteem-through-the/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“Denial is a powerful human component that cannot be ignored in the context of psychological abuse.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/denial-is-a-powerful-human-component-that-cannot-be-ignored-in-the/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“Tenderness from empaths will be used against them time and time again by psychological abusers.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/tenderness-from-empaths-will-be-used-against-them-time-and-time-again/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“When an abuser gaslights, he or she sets up situations to make the target doubt their own memories and assessments of situations. This is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/when-an-abuser-gaslights-he-or-she-sets-up-situations-to-make-the/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“I use the term survivor to describe what some might call a victim. I hope you can embrace the word survivor because it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/i-use-the-term-survivor-to-describe-what-some-might-call-a-victim-i/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“Unraveling the lies and replacing them with truth is at the heart of the recovery journey for survivors of psychological abuse.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/unraveling-the-lies-and-replacing-them-with-truth-is-at-the-heart-of/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [“It is a source of power and entertainment for a toxic person to destroy an originally healthy and happy person. This point is often…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/it-is-a-source-of-power-and-entertainment-for-a-toxic-person-to/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) [Explore all 120 Shannon Thomas quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) ## More Definition of love quotes > [“I admired how perfectly matched they seemed to be, and I started to wonder about my own, personal definition of love. Had it been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/morgan-parker/i-admired-how-perfectly-matched-they-seemed-to-be-and-i-started-to/) [Morgan Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/morgan-parker/) > [Among the different expressions of love are friendship, dedication to a cause or to a person, the love of parents for their children, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meicee/among-the-different-expressions-of-love-are-friendship-dedication-to/) [Meicee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meicee/) > [“Some people wonder if abusers can feel love or affection for their targets. The answer to that depends on your own definition of love.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/some-people-wonder-if-abusers-can-feel-love-or-affection-for-their/) [Shannon Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/) > [When I used to think about the definition of love, I used to think of having someone there for youand only that. But now…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-person/when-i-used-to-think-about-the-definition-of-love-i-used-to-think-of/) [A Person](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-person/) > [Westboro would quote this passage from the book of Leviticus that, for them, shows that the definition of 'love thy neighbor' is to rebuke…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/megan-phelps-roper/westboro-would-quote-this-passage-from-the-book-of-leviticus-that-for/) [Megan Phelps-Roper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/megan-phelps-roper/) > [Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/saint-augustine/love-is-a-temporary-madness-it-erupts-like-an-earthquake-and-then-2/) [Saint Augustine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/saint-augustine/) > [If someone explains me the definition of love, I will give my life to the person. Love is a thing which is difficult to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/randeep-hooda/if-someone-explains-me-the-definition-of-love-i-will-give-my-life-to/) [Randeep Hooda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/randeep-hooda/) > [My definition of Love: You think someone likes you and then you start liking them back and soon they'reeverything you think about all day…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahmoud-el-hallab/my-definition-of-love-you-think-someone-likes-you-and-then-you-start/) [Mahmoud El Hallab](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahmoud-el-hallab/) > [Love is a continual interrogation. I don’t know of a better definition of love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/milan-kundera/love-is-a-continual-interrogation-i-don-t-know-of-a-better-definition/) [Milan Kundera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/milan-kundera/) > [I honestly was searching for some lines but, to express my love, there was nothing I could find... So, I thought, let me just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/preeti-vasdev/i-honestly-was-searching-for-some-lines-but-to-express-my-love-there/) [Preeti Vasdev](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/preeti-vasdev/) > [“It just may be that the most radical act we can commit is to stay home. What does that mean to finally commit to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-tempest-williams/it-just-may-be-that-the-most-radical-act-we-can-commit-is-to-stay/) [Terry Tempest Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-tempest-williams/) > [Love is the feeling we get when we recognize the positive attributes in another. You have to continually and actively watch for the best…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-adam-hamilton/love-is-the-feeling-we-get-when-we-recognize-the-positive-attributes/) [Michael Adam Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-adam-hamilton/) > [“I'm in love with her,” I announced at double speed, hoping that saying it quickly might lessen the weight of its impact. He looked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tiffanie-debartolo/i-m-in-love-with-her-i-announced-at-double-speed-hoping-that-saying/) [Tiffanie DeBartolo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tiffanie-debartolo/) > [“...because love is continual interrogation. I don't know of a better definition of love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/milan-kundera/because-love-is-continual-interrogation-i-don-t-know-of-a-better/) [Milan Kundera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/milan-kundera/) > [“That, Claire thought, was a pretty good definition of love: needing someone even after you got what you thought you wanted.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-caine/that-claire-thought-was-a-pretty-good-definition-of-love-needing/) [Rachel Caine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-caine/) [Browse all 85 Definition of love quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/definition-of-love/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“If your definition of love is wanting to see another person authentically happy and living a fulfilled life, then the answer is no. Psychological abusers cannot feel love. They can only mimic what love looks like.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Shannon Thomas" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/if-your-definition-of-love-is-wanting-to-see-another-person/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Definition of love" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/if-your-definition-of-love-is-wanting-to-see-another-person/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a2/shannon-thomas-3888_definition-of-love_if-your-definition-of-love-is-wanting-to_3153075.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a2/shannon-thomas-3888_definition-of-love_if-your-definition-of-love-is-wanting-to_3153075.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a2/shannon-thomas-3888_definition-of-love_if-your-definition-of-love-is-wanting-to_3153075.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If your definition of love is wanting to see another person authentically happy and living a fulfilled life…” — Shannon Thomas", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Shannon Thomas", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-thomas/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“If your definition of love is...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/if-your-definition-of-love-is-wanting-to-see-another-person/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-thomas/if-your-definition-of-love-is-wanting-to-see-another-person/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```