--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Triangulation is the way the narcissist…" description: "\"“Triangulation is the way the narcissist maintains control and keeps you in check — you’re so busy competing for his or her attention that you’re less ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c6/shahida-arabi-26031_red-flags_triangulation-is-the-way-the-narcissist_2118631.jpg" --- # Triangulation is the way the narcissist maintains control… ![“Triangulation is the way the narcissist maintains control and keeps you in check — you’re so busy competing for his or her attention that you’re less likely to be focusing on the red flags within the relationship or looking for ways to get out of the relationship.” quote by Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c6/shahida-arabi-26031_red-flags_triangulation-is-the-way-the-narcissist_2118631.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c6/shahida-arabi-26031_red-flags_triangulation-is-the-way-the-narcissist_2118631.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c6/shahida-arabi-26031_red-flags_triangulation-is-the-way-the-narcissist_2118631.jpg) > ““Triangulation is the way the narcissist maintains control and keeps you in check — you’re so busy competing for his or her attention that you’re less likely to be focusing on the red flags within the relationship or looking for ways to get out of the relationship.”” [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Narcissists use triangulation to keep partners distracted and control the relationship. **In simple terms:** Control through competition for attention, masking red flags. Key Takeaway Recognize and break the triangulation cycle. Themes relationships control psychology manipulation Mood reflective warning Type psychological advisory When to use this quote - dating - therapy - self‑help workshops Key Concepts narcissism triangulation attention dynamics Questions to Reflect On - What signs indicate triangulation? - How can one regain autonomy? A Different Perspective Victims may not see the pattern until deep involvement. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Narcissist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/narcissist/) [Narcissist Maintains](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/narcissist-maintains-4310893/) [Red Flag](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/red-flag/) [Red flags](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/red-flags/) [Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship/) [Relationship Looking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship-looking-507381/) [Triangulation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/triangulation-1472181/) [Triangulation Way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/triangulation-way-4310892/) [Ways Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ways-relationship-4310894/) ## Related quotes > [“In the book Psychopath Free by Jackson MacKenzie, the method of triangulation is discussed as a popular way the narcissist maintains control over your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/in-the-book-psychopath-free-by-jackson-mackenzie-the-method-of/) [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) > [A line said by a simple boy to his ex-girlfriend:-i didn't express my love as you want, in your view may I failed but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhisek-thapa/a-line-said-by-a-simple-boy-to-his-ex-girlfriend-i-didn-t-express-my/) [Abhisek Thapa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhisek-thapa/) > [15 Ways To Keep A Relationship Working (advice) 1. Love each other 2. Don't lie 3. Keep communication open 4. Stay sweet 5. When…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/butterfly-kisses/15-ways-to-keep-a-relationship-working-advice-1-love-each-other-2-don/) [Butterfly\_Kisses](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/butterfly-kisses/) > [There are all kinds of ways for a relationship to be tested, even broken, some, irrevocably; it's the endings we're unprepared for.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katherine-owen/there-are-all-kinds-of-ways-for-a-relationship-to-be-tested-even-2/) [Katherine Owen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katherine-owen/) > [You need, as a historian, essential triangulation from your subject and the only way you get that triangulation is through time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ken-burns/you-need-as-a-historian-essential-triangulation-from-your-subject-and/) [Ken Burns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ken-burns/) > [Triangulation is not a strategy that will move America forward,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-o-malley/triangulation-is-not-a-strategy-that-will-move-america-forward/) [Martin O'Malley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-o-malley/) > [My course has never been about triangulation, and neither, really, is Bill Clinton's. It's not - it's about applying your values to the future…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-blair/my-course-has-never-been-about-triangulation-and-neither-really-is/) [Tony Blair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-blair/) > [“a spouse is taking a part of his heart away from his mate and bringing it to an outside source. This is not only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-cloud/a-spouse-is-taking-a-part-of-his-heart-away-from-his-mate-and/) [Henry Cloud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-cloud/) > [As I understand it, triangulation is the idea that you demonstrate to some set of swing voters that you are politically palatable by poking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-pfeiffer/as-i-understand-it-triangulation-is-the-idea-that-you-demonstrate-to/) [Daniel Pfeiffer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-pfeiffer/) > [We go into a relationship looking for love, not realizing that we must bring love with us. We must bring a strong sense of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iyanla-vanzant/we-go-into-a-relationship-looking-for-love-not-realizing-that-we-must/) [Iyanla Vanzant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iyanla-vanzant/) > [When digging for answers in a relationship you will always find what you are looking for. The imagination is a powerful tool making anything…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-hernandez/when-digging-for-answers-in-a-relationship-you-will-always-find-what/) [Julie Hernandez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-hernandez/) > [I've never been very successful in a monogamous relationship, but I'm looking forward to the day when I can assume that responsibility.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-johnson/i-ve-never-been-very-successful-in-a-monogamous-relationship-but-i-m/) [Don Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/don-johnson/) > [Friendship makes difference,love makes difference and relationship are the one which we are looking forever with someone in our life !!!!!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sajid/friendship-makes-difference-love-makes-difference-and-relationship/) [Sajid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sajid/) > [No relationship. I'm not looking for one, either. I've tried it, but it's harder than it seems.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kian-lawley/no-relationship-i-m-not-looking-for-one-either-i-ve-tried-it-but-it-s/) [Kian Lawley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kian-lawley/) > [Love is the most important thing in life. If you don't have (a relationship), you're always looking for one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheryl-crow/love-is-the-most-important-thing-in-life-if-you-don-t-have-a/) [Sheryl Crow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheryl-crow/) ## More by Shahida Arabi > [“the same time, a relationship with a narcissist is also a cataclysmic rude awakening into the fact that people are rarely who they portray…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/the-same-time-a-relationship-with-a-narcissist-is-also-a-cataclysmic/) [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) > [“along. See, narcissists don’t truly feel empathy for others – so during the discard phase, they often feel absolutely nothing for you except the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/along-see-narcissists-don-t-truly-feel-empathy-for-others-so-during/) [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) > [“What’s important to remember is that while human beings in general can engage in toxic behaviors from time to time, abusers use these manipulation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/what-s-important-to-remember-is-that-while-human-beings-in-general/) [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) > [“The more power they have over your emotions, the less likely you’ll trust your own reality and the truth about the abuse you’re enduring.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/the-more-power-they-have-over-your-emotions-the-less-likely-you-ll/) [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) > [“Triangulation Healthy relationships thrive on security; unhealthy ones are filled with provocation, uncertainty and infidelity. Narcissists like to manufacture love triangles and bring in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/triangulation-healthy-relationships-thrive-on-security-unhealthy-ones/) [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) > [“Dissociation leaves us disconnected from our memories, our identities and our emotions. It breaks the trauma into digestible components, so that different aspects of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/dissociation-leaves-us-disconnected-from-our-memories-our-identities/) [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) > [“Their manipulation is psychological and emotionally devastating – and very dangerous, especially considering the brain circuitry for emotional and physical pain are one and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/their-manipulation-is-psychological-and-emotionally-devastating-and/) [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) > [“Keep interactions as short as possible; you can be cordial, but do not engage. Narcissists are master provocateurs who will subject you to dizzying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/keep-interactions-as-short-as-possible-you-can-be-cordial-but-do-not/) [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) > [“The fact of the matter is, if you haven’t been in an abusive relationship, you don’t really know what the experience is like. Furthermore,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/the-fact-of-the-matter-is-if-you-haven-t-been-in-an-abusive/) [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) > [“A child that’s being abused by its parents doesn’t stop loving its parents, it stops loving itself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/a-child-that-s-being-abused-by-its-parents-doesn-t-stop-loving-its/) [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) > [“In the book Psychopath Free by Jackson MacKenzie, the method of triangulation is discussed as a popular way the narcissist maintains control over your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/in-the-book-psychopath-free-by-jackson-mackenzie-the-method-of/) [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) > [“The narcissist relies on jealousy as a powerful emotion that can cause you to compete for his or her affections, so provocative statements like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/the-narcissist-relies-on-jealousy-as-a-powerful-emotion-that-can/) [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) > [“The narcissist cultivated your need for his or her validation and approval early on in the idealization phase. By making you dependent on his or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/the-narcissist-cultivated-your-need-for-his-or-her-validation-and/) [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) > [“So for those who think abuse survivors can simply logically process their situation and get out of and over the situation easily, think again.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/so-for-those-who-think-abuse-survivors-can-simply-logically-process/) [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) > [“many abuse victims don’t wish to let their abusers move onto the next victim after terrorizing them, because they fear that the next person…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/many-abuse-victims-don-t-wish-to-let-their-abusers-move-onto-the-next/) [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) [Explore all 22 Shahida Arabi quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) ## More Narcissist quotes > [Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) cannot be medicated. It is treatable only through therapy. The problem is therapy is rarely sought by the afflicted. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-dunn/narcissistic-personality-disorder-npd-cannot-be-medicated-it-is/) [Andy Dunn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-dunn/) > [I don't know if my mother was a narcissist - or bi-polar or borderline. Those were words she tossed around over the years.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/i-don-t-know-if-my-mother-was-a-narcissist-or-bi-polar-or-borderline/) [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) > [The other theory of the case - and it's not just one that people opposed to him politically believe, but also people who share…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-hayes/the-other-theory-of-the-case-and-it-s-not-just-one-that-people/) [Chris Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-hayes/) > [“The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which is the reference manual used by mental health professionals to diagnose psychological problems, defines the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-berent/the-diagnostic-and-statistical-manual-of-mental-disorders-which-is/) [Jonathan Berent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-berent/) > [The whole narcissism and echo syndrome is usually the result of early childhood training. Those are very hard habits for anyone to break.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/merrill-markoe/the-whole-narcissism-and-echo-syndrome-is-usually-the-result-of-early/) [Merrill Markoe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/merrill-markoe/) > [It is not difficult to destroy Islam. Islam is the pumped up ego of a megalomaniac psychopath. Muhammad was a narcissist madman. Just as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ali-sina/it-is-not-difficult-to-destroy-islam-islam-is-the-pumped-up-ego-of-a/) [Ali Sina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ali-sina/) > [“I can confidently state that the greatest rescues in my life have occurred when I’ve been saved from myself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-d-lounsbrough/i-can-confidently-state-that-the-greatest-rescues-in-my-life-have/) [Craig D. Lounsbrough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-d-lounsbrough/) > [“Most of us acquire and shed fractions of narcissistic traits throughout our lives. The teachings of Jesus help us shed narcissistic traits. It’s part…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-ben-zehabe/most-of-us-acquire-and-shed-fractions-of-narcissistic-traits/) [Michael Ben Zehabe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-ben-zehabe/) > [“The advice to love yourself may sound beautiful to the ear, but it was the only sin committed by the first narcissist.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mwanandeke-kindembo/the-advice-to-love-yourself-may-sound-beautiful-to-the-ear-but-it-was/) [Mwanandeke Kindembo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mwanandeke-kindembo/) > [I've had years of psychiatry, and I ask about every six months - it's sort of like getting your oil checked - I ask,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-lowe/i-ve-had-years-of-psychiatry-and-i-ask-about-every-six-months-it-s/) [Rob Lowe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-lowe/) > [The world is so rife with narcissists that none of them take enough notice of me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eleanor-bron/the-world-is-so-rife-with-narcissists-that-none-of-them-take-enough/) [Eleanor Bron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eleanor-bron/) > [The idea that guys should walk into a bar and confidently initiate contact and then seduce a woman based on a short term conversation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tucker-max/the-idea-that-guys-should-walk-into-a-bar-and-confidently-initiate/) [Tucker Max](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tucker-max/) > [Narcissism is not about self love. It's a clinical trait that belies a deep sense of emptiness, low self-esteem, emotional detachment, self-loathing, extreme problems…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/drew-pinsky/narcissism-is-not-about-self-love-it-s-a-clinical-trait-that-belies-a/) [Drew Pinsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/drew-pinsky/) > [Am I really just a narcissist, Cause I wake up to a bowl of lobster bisque?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-ross/am-i-really-just-a-narcissist-cause-i-wake-up-to-a-bowl-of-lobster/) [Rick Ross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-ross/) > [“the same time, a relationship with a narcissist is also a cataclysmic rude awakening into the fact that people are rarely who they portray…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/the-same-time-a-relationship-with-a-narcissist-is-also-a-cataclysmic/) [Shahida Arabi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/) [Browse all 203 Narcissist quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/narcissist/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Triangulation is the way the narcissist maintains control and keeps you in check — you’re so busy competing for his or her attention that you’re less likely to be focusing on the red flags within the relationship or looking for ways to get out of the relationship.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Shahida Arabi" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/triangulation-is-the-way-the-narcissist-maintains-control-and-keeps/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Narcissist" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/triangulation-is-the-way-the-narcissist-maintains-control-and-keeps/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c6/shahida-arabi-26031_red-flags_triangulation-is-the-way-the-narcissist_2118631.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c6/shahida-arabi-26031_red-flags_triangulation-is-the-way-the-narcissist_2118631.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c6/shahida-arabi-26031_red-flags_triangulation-is-the-way-the-narcissist_2118631.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Triangulation is the way the narcissist maintains control and keeps you in check — you’re so busy competing…” — Shahida Arabi", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Shahida Arabi", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahida-arabi/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“Triangulation is the way the narcissist...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/triangulation-is-the-way-the-narcissist-maintains-control-and-keeps/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahida-arabi/triangulation-is-the-way-the-narcissist-maintains-control-and-keeps/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```