---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: For the child whose impulsiveness is…"
description: "\"For the child whose impulsiveness is indulged, who retains his primitive-discharge mechanisms, is not only an ill-behaved child but a child whose intel..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/841/selma-fraiberg-26204_action_for-the-child-whose-impulsiveness-is-ind_2707524.jpg"
---

#  For the child whose impulsiveness is indulged, who retains…

![“For the child whose impulsiveness is indulged, who retains his primitive-discharge mechanisms, is not only an ill-behaved child but a child whose intellectual development is slowed down. No matter how well he is endowed intellectually, if direct action and immediate gratification are the guiding…” quote by Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/841/selma-fraiberg-26204_action_for-the-child-whose-impulsiveness-is-ind_2707524.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/841/selma-fraiberg-26204_action_for-the-child-whose-impulsiveness-is-ind_2707524.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/841/selma-fraiberg-26204_action_for-the-child-whose-impulsiveness-is-ind_2707524.jpg)

> “For the child whose impulsiveness is indulged, who retains his primitive-discharge mechanisms, is not only an ill-behaved child but a child whose intellectual development is slowed down. No matter how well he is endowed intellectually, if direct action and immediate gratification are the guiding principles of his behavior, there will be less incentive to develop the higher mental processes, to reason, to employ the imagination creatively. . . .”

[Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Indulging impulsive, gratification‑seeking behavior hinders development of reasoning and imagination.

**In simple terms:** Immediate gratification blocks higher mental growth.

Key Takeaway

Encourage delayed gratification and reflective thinking.

Themes

parenting development self‑control

Mood

concerned reflective

Type

advisory educational

When to use this quote

- education
- child rearing
- therapy
- discipline
- creative problem solving

Key Concepts

psychology cognitive development

Questions to Reflect On

- How can caregivers balance freedom and structure?
- What activities foster imagination over instant reward?

A Different Perspective

Children may still develop higher functions with appropriate guidance.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Action](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/action/) [Behavior](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/behavior/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Direct action](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/direct-action/) [Gratification](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gratification/) [Guiding principles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guiding-principles/) [Ill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ill/) [Imagination](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/imagination/) [Immediate gratification](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/immediate-gratification/) [Impulsiveness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/impulsiveness/) [Incentives](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/incentives/) [Intellectual](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/intellectual/) [Intellectual development](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/intellectual-development/) [Primitive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/primitive/) [Principles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/principles/) [Process](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/process/) [Psychology](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychology/) [Reason](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/reason/)

## Related quotes

> [“A common misconception of education comes when the definition of education narrows to the intellectual. The child is compartmentalized. He is not seen as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-swanson/a-common-misconception-of-education-comes-when-the-definition-of/)

[Kevin Swanson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-swanson/)

> [The high IQ has become the American equivalent of the Legion of Honor, positive proof of a child's intellectual aristocracy… It has become more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sam-levenson/the-high-iq-has-become-the-american-equivalent-of-the-legion-of-honor/)

[Sam Levenson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sam-levenson/)

> [If we can find a principle to guide us in the handling of the child between nine and eighteen months, we can see that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/if-we-can-find-a-principle-to-guide-us-in-the-handling-of-the-child/)

[Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

> [In the midst of all the chaos swirling through your brain, all the disorganization and impulsiveness, the condition (ADHD) also seems to trigger a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-neeleman/in-the-midst-of-all-the-chaos-swirling-through-your-brain-all-the/)

[David Neeleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-neeleman/)

> [“why we repeatedly convince ourselves that we've overcome impulsiveness and can stop avoiding our worst temptations.1 This particular tendency toward self-deception is what psychologists…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-disalvo/why-we-repeatedly-convince-ourselves-that-we-ve-overcome/)

[David DiSalvo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-disalvo/)

> [Emotional self-control-- delaying gratification and stifling impulsiveness- underlies accomplishment of every sort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/emotional-self-control-delaying-gratification-and-stifling/)

[Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/)

> [ Two other personality traits could also make more likely \[Donald\] Trump's use of nuclear weapons: his impulsiveness and his lack of predictability. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-trump/two-other-personality-traits-could-also-make-more-likely-donald-trump/)

[Donald Trump](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-trump/)

> [“Never give a person a piece of your mind when all you really wanted to do was give them a piece of your heart.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-l-alder/never-give-a-person-a-piece-of-your-mind-when-all-you-really-wanted/)

[Shannon L. Alder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-l-alder/)

> [“It would be a sin to help you destroy yourself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/it-would-be-a-sin-to-help-you-destroy-yourself/)

[Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/)

> [“Human history is the ancient story of the umbilical conflict between a lone individual versus a cabalistic society. A love-hate relationship defines our personal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kilroy-j-oldster/human-history-is-the-ancient-story-of-the-umbilical-conflict-between/)

[Kilroy J. Oldster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kilroy-j-oldster/)

> [Impulsiveness can be charming but deliberation can have an appeal, as well.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/impulsiveness-can-be-charming-but-deliberation-can-have-an-appeal-as/)

[Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/)

> [“What made him irresistibly charming – his impulsiveness, his impatience with the dull, his insistence on energy,28 his sense of the comic, the depth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-worthen/what-made-him-irresistibly-charming-his-impulsiveness-his-impatience/)

John Worthen

> [The truth of life lies in the impulsiveness of matter. The mind of man has been poisoned by concepts. Do not ask him to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/antonin-artaud/the-truth-of-life-lies-in-the-impulsiveness-of-matter-the-mind-of-man/)

[Antonin Artaud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/antonin-artaud/)

> [People are more impulsive and they get slightly less impulsive as they get older and the impulsiveness interacting with the depression is particularly devastating…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-redfield-jamison/people-are-more-impulsive-and-they-get-slightly-less-impulsive-as/)

[Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/)

> [Impulsiveness leads to regret.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melchor-lim/impulsiveness-leads-to-regret/)

[Melchor Lim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melchor-lim/)

## More by Selma Fraiberg

> [A method of child-rearing is not--or should not be--a whim, a fashion or a shibboleth. It should derive from an understanding of the developing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/a-method-of-child-rearing-is-not-or-should-not-be-a-whim-a-fashion-or/)

[Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

> [We must remember when we speak of the "negativism" of the toddler that this is also the child who is intoxicated with the discoveries…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/we-must-remember-when-we-speak-of-the-negativism-of-the-toddler-that/)

[Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

> [Whenever reality reinforces a child's fantasied dangers, the child will have more difficulty in overcoming them...So, while parents may not regard a spanking as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/whenever-reality-reinforces-a-child-s-fantasied-dangers-the-child/)

[Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

> [Our survival as a human community may depend as much upon our nurture of love in infancy and childhood as upon the protection of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/our-survival-as-a-human-community-may-depend-as-much-upon-our-nurture/)

[Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

> [It no longer makes sense to speak of "feeding problems" or "sleep problems" or "negative behavior" is if they were distinct categories, but to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/it-no-longer-makes-sense-to-speak-of-feeding-problems-or-sleep/)

[Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

> [The experience of a sense of guilt for wrong-doing is necessary for the development of self-control. The guilt feelings will laterserve as a warning…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/the-experience-of-a-sense-of-guilt-for-wrong-doing-is-necessary-for/)

[Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

> [It seems to me that we have to draw the line in sibling rivalry whenever rivalry goes out of bounds into destructive behavior of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/it-seems-to-me-that-we-have-to-draw-the-line-in-sibling-rivalry/)

[Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

> [There must be a solemn and terrible aloneness that comes over the child as he takes those first independent steps. All this is lost…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/there-must-be-a-solemn-and-terrible-aloneness-that-comes-over-the/)

[Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

> [We find that the child who does not yet have language at his command, the child under two and a half, will be able…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/we-find-that-the-child-who-does-not-yet-have-language-at-his-command/)

[Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

> [Parents who want a fresh point of view on their furniture are advised to drop down on all fours and accompany the nine or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/parents-who-want-a-fresh-point-of-view-on-their-furniture-are-advised/)

[Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

> [An older child, one who possesses a conscience, will be troubled with self-reproaches and feelings of shame for his naughtiness, even if he is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/an-older-child-one-who-possesses-a-conscience-will-be-troubled-with/)

[Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

> [The child begins life as a pleasure-seeking animal; his infantile personality is organized around his own appetites and his own body. In the course…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/the-child-begins-life-as-a-pleasure-seeking-animal-his-infantile/)

[Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

> [The parent who loves his child dearly but asks for nothing in return might qualify as a saint, but he will not qualify as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/the-parent-who-loves-his-child-dearly-but-asks-for-nothing-in-return/)

[Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

> [If we can find a principle to guide us in the handling of the child between nine and eighteen months, we can see that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/if-we-can-find-a-principle-to-guide-us-in-the-handling-of-the-child/)

[Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

> [It can be demonstrated that the child's contact with the real world is strengthened by his periodic excursions into fantasy. It becomes easier to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/it-can-be-demonstrated-that-the-child-s-contact-with-the-real-world/)

[Selma Fraiberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

[Explore all 22 Selma Fraiberg quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/)

## More Action quotes

> [I always say there are two things to be successful. The first is decide exactly what you want - set your goals - and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-tracy/i-always-say-there-are-two-things-to-be-successful-the-first-is/)

[Brian Tracy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-tracy/)

> [You'd be surprised how hard it can often be to translate an action into an idea.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karl-kraus/you-d-be-surprised-how-hard-it-can-often-be-to-translate-an-action/)

[Karl Kraus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karl-kraus/)

> [Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. Expressing gratitude by writing in a journal, taking a photo, or shooting a video creates a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janice-kaplan/gratitude-isn-t-just-a-feeling-it-s-an-action-expressing-gratitude-by/)

[Janice Kaplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janice-kaplan/)

> [Nothing is so powerful as an insight into human nature... what compulsions drive a man, what instincts dominate his action. If you know these…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-bernbach/nothing-is-so-powerful-as-an-insight-into-human-nature-what/)

[William Bernbach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-bernbach/)

> [Every thought I have imprisioned in expression I must free by my deeds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kahlil-gibran/every-thought-i-have-imprisioned-in-expression-i-must-free-by-my-deeds/)

[Kahlil Gibran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kahlil-gibran/)

> [It took me 20 years to buy an electric typewriter, because I was afraid it would be too sensitive. I like to bang the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elmore-leonard/it-took-me-20-years-to-buy-an-electric-typewriter-because-i-was/)

[Elmore Leonard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elmore-leonard/)

> [Every action that helps us manifest our divine nature more and more is good; every action that retards it is evil.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/swami-vivekananda/every-action-that-helps-us-manifest-our-divine-nature-more-and-more/)

[Swami Vivekananda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/swami-vivekananda/)

> [As you begin changing your thinking, start immediately to change your behaviour. Begin to act the part of the person you would like to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/as-you-begin-changing-your-thinking-start-immediately-to-change-your/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [It's easy to say, let's go in and get the bad guys. But you have a divided country of Sunnis and Shias. The United…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tulsi-gabbard/it-s-easy-to-say-let-s-go-in-and-get-the-bad-guys-but-you-have-a/)

[Tulsi Gabbard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tulsi-gabbard/)

> [For comedy action, I must know the language.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sammo-hung/for-comedy-action-i-must-know-the-language/)

[Sammo Hung](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sammo-hung/)

> [Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between man and his God, that he owes account to none other for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-jefferson/believing-with-you-that-religion-is-a-matter-which-lies-solely/)

[Thomas Jefferson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-jefferson/)

> [“Action is a powerful thing. When you smile through your sadness, it can completely change your outlook. Try it! Smile :) Now hold onto…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/action-is-a-powerful-thing-when-you-smile-through-your-sadness-it-can/)

[Leticia Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leticia-rae/)

> [I reject criticism because the last thing I wanted was to sit there and look at people talking. I think people are conditioned to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-tyrnauer/i-reject-criticism-because-the-last-thing-i-wanted-was-to-sit-there/)

[Matt Tyrnauer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-tyrnauer/)

> [“I take my actions because of my passion not because of compulsion.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amit-kalantri/i-take-my-actions-because-of-my-passion-not-because-of-compulsion/)

[Amit Kalantri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amit-kalantri/)

> [When the first Superman movie came out I was frequently asked "What is a hero?" ...My answer was that a hero is someone who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-reeve/when-the-first-superman-movie-came-out-i-was-frequently-asked-what-is/)

[Christopher Reeve](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-reeve/)

[Browse all 14,940 Action quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/action/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "For the child whose impulsiveness is indulged, who retains his primitive-discharge mechanisms, is not only an ill-behaved child but a child whose intellectual development is slowed down. No matter how well he is endowed intellectually, if direct action and immediate gratification are the guiding principles of his behavior, there will be less incentive to develop the higher mental processes, to reason, to employ the imagination creatively. . . .",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Selma Fraiberg"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/for-the-child-whose-impulsiveness-is-indulged-who-retains-his/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Action"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/for-the-child-whose-impulsiveness-is-indulged-who-retains-his/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/841/selma-fraiberg-26204_action_for-the-child-whose-impulsiveness-is-ind_2707524.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/841/selma-fraiberg-26204_action_for-the-child-whose-impulsiveness-is-ind_2707524.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/841/selma-fraiberg-26204_action_for-the-child-whose-impulsiveness-is-ind_2707524.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“For the child whose impulsiveness is indulged, who retains his primitive-discharge mechanisms, is not only…” — Selma Fraiberg",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Selma Fraiberg",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-fraiberg/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "For the child whose impulsiveness is...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/for-the-child-whose-impulsiveness-is-indulged-who-retains-his/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-fraiberg/for-the-child-whose-impulsiveness-is-indulged-who-retains-his/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
