---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When I think about my relationship with…"
description: "\"When I think about my relationship with America, I feel like a battered wife: Yeah, he knocks me around a lot, but boy, he sure can dance.\" — Sarah Vowell"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5f/sarah-vowell-2016_america_when-i-think-about-my-relationship-with_1881699.png"
---

#  When I think about my relationship with America, I feel…

![“When I think about my relationship with America, I feel like a battered wife: Yeah, he knocks me around a lot, but boy, he sure can dance.” quote by Sarah Vowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5f/sarah-vowell-2016_america_when-i-think-about-my-relationship-with_1881699.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5f/sarah-vowell-2016_america_when-i-think-about-my-relationship-with_1881699.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5f/sarah-vowell-2016_america_when-i-think-about-my-relationship-with_1881699.png)

> “When I think about my relationship with America, I feel like a battered wife: Yeah, he knocks me around a lot, but boy, he sure can dance.”

[Sarah Vowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

America is portrayed as a turbulent partner that both harms and inspires affection.

**In simple terms:** America can be abusive yet captivating.

Key Takeaway

Accept complexity of national identity.

Themes

nationalism relationship critique

Mood

critical reflective

Type

political personal

When to use this quote

- political discourse
- cultural analysis
- personal essays

Key Concepts

patriotism personal narrative historical reflection

Questions to Reflect On

- How does love coexist with criticism?
- Can a nation change its abusive traits?

A Different Perspective

Romanticizing harmful dynamics.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[America](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/america/) [America Feel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/america-feel-264787/) [Battered](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/battered/) [Boys](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boys/) [Feel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feel/) [Feel Like](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feel-like/) [Feels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feels/) [Like Battered](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/like-battered-2660742/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thinking/) [Wife](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wife/) [Yeah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/yeah/)

## Related quotes

> [If you like being battered, the work of Savion Glover - one-time child prodigy - should be up your alley. I don't, and it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-gottlieb/if-you-like-being-battered-the-work-of-savion-glover-one-time-child/)

[Robert Gottlieb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-gottlieb/)

> [I love playing in America. I feel having been there a few times that I "get" America a lot more than I used to.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dylan-moran/i-love-playing-in-america-i-feel-having-been-there-a-few-times-that-i/)

[Dylan Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dylan-moran/)

> [We need to lift up the nation so we can find a more civil way to deal with our disagreements because, in these United…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-handel/we-need-to-lift-up-the-nation-so-we-can-find-a-more-civil-way-to-deal/)

[Karen Handel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-handel/)

> [It's a good time to be here in America. You feel that people just want to be together and release the pressure and laugh.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gad-elmaleh/it-s-a-good-time-to-be-here-in-america-you-feel-that-people-just-want/)

[Gad Elmaleh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gad-elmaleh/)

> [It was great about the sizes of the audiences we were getting in America, but sometimes you feel like telling some of the men…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dolores-o-riordan/it-was-great-about-the-sizes-of-the-audiences-we-were-getting-in/)

[Dolores O'Riordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dolores-o-riordan/)

> [Even though I live in America more, I feel like when I go to Adelaide, that's when I get to go home.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-folds/even-though-i-live-in-america-more-i-feel-like-when-i-go-to-adelaide/)

[Ben Folds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-folds/)

> [When you come back to a country that you've left, you're in a very peculiar situation because, in a way, you don't belong to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabriel-byrne/when-you-come-back-to-a-country-that-you-ve-left-you-re-in-a-very/)

[Gabriel Byrne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabriel-byrne/)

> [My album Pain Medicine might not make all of America feel better, but for single mothers and women who have been hurt as well…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/k-michelle/my-album-pain-medicine-might-not-make-all-of-america-feel-better-but/)

[K.Michelle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/k-michelle/)

> [It's an active fight against this messaging that we've been hit over the head with since we were really young, that you were supposed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greta-lee/it-s-an-active-fight-against-this-messaging-that-we-ve-been-hit-over/)

[Greta Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greta-lee/)

> [I just don't feel that we've traveled very far in the realm of social equality. There just seems to be a little bit of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-paulson/i-just-don-t-feel-that-we-ve-traveled-very-far-in-the-realm-of-social/)

[Sarah Paulson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-paulson/)

> [I try to speak my points of view about black America, and how I feel about black men and the role that black men…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/will-smith/i-try-to-speak-my-points-of-view-about-black-america-and-how-i-feel/)

[Will Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/will-smith/)

> [After reaching season two on TV series, having done a film, and receiving acknowledgment in America, I feel like now whatever I do will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/priyanka-chopra/after-reaching-season-two-on-tv-series-having-done-a-film-and/)

[Priyanka Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/priyanka-chopra/)

> [I definitely feel Russian inside, even when I'm in America I feel Russian.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maria-sharapova/i-definitely-feel-russian-inside-even-when-i-m-in-america-i-feel/)

[Maria Sharapova](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maria-sharapova/)

> [I'm very pro-America, but I feel it necessary to keep in touch with Europe to maintain a perspective.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elia-kazan/i-m-very-pro-america-but-i-feel-it-necessary-to-keep-in-touch-with/)

[Elia Kazan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elia-kazan/)

> [I want to make a series of films of contemporary America that feel urgent and deal with sometimes-topical matters, but hopefully in a universal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-hedges/i-want-to-make-a-series-of-films-of-contemporary-america-that-feel/)

[Peter Hedges](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-hedges/)

## More by Sarah Vowell

> [“She is either male property (Mrs.), wannabe male property (Miss), or man-hating harpy (Ms.).”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/she-is-either-male-property-mrs-wannabe-male-property-miss-or-man/)

[Sarah Vowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/)

> [“We were breathing sooty air. The soot was composed of incinerated glass and steel but also, we knew, incinerated human flesh. When the local…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/we-were-breathing-sooty-air-the-soot-was-composed-of-incinerated/)

[Sarah Vowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/)

> [I was a big Nancy Drew reader. Nancy figures it out. Case closed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/i-was-a-big-nancy-drew-reader-nancy-figures-it-out-case-closed/)

[Sarah Vowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/)

> [“After Hymns and tears, they boarded the brig Thaddeus, a vessel so crappy, it made the Mayflower look like the QE2.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/after-hymns-and-tears-they-boarded-the-brig-thaddeus-a-vessel-so/)

[Sarah Vowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/)

> [“The last line of Hawaii's Story by Hawaii's Queen is addressed to the American people and their congressmen. "As they deal with me and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/the-last-line-of-hawaii-s-story-by-hawaii-s-queen-is-addressed-to-the/)

[Sarah Vowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/)

> [“In the gravedigger scene in act V, Hamlet looks upon an anonymous skull and jokes that even Alexander the Great decomposed into dust that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/in-the-gravedigger-scene-in-act-v-hamlet-looks-upon-an-anonymous/)

[Sarah Vowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/)

> [“Another reason I’m intrigued with the hanged of Salem, especially the women, is that a number of them aroused suspicion in the first place…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/another-reason-i-m-intrigued-with-the-hanged-of-salem-especially-the/)

[Sarah Vowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/)

> [Listening to the radio every day for an entire year was a prison sentence. It was the most depressing, annoying, debilitating project I have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/listening-to-the-radio-every-day-for-an-entire-year-was-a-prison/)

[Sarah Vowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/)

> [That's what I like to call him, "the current president." I find it difficult to say or type his name, George W. Bush. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/that-s-what-i-like-to-call-him-the-current-president-i-find-it/)

[Sarah Vowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/)

> [“The historical periods I like to learn about aren’t so much costume dramas as slasher flicks. The French Revolution is a favorite because it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/the-historical-periods-i-like-to-learn-about-aren-t-so-much-costume/)

[Sarah Vowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/)

> [While I gave up God a long time ago, I never shook the habit of wanting to believe in something. So I replaced my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/while-i-gave-up-god-a-long-time-ago-i-never-shook-the-habit-of/)

[Sarah Vowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/)

> [Most people don't like to talk about violent historical death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/most-people-don-t-like-to-talk-about-violent-historical-death/)

[Sarah Vowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/)

> [There are two kinds of people in the world: the kind who alphabetize their record collections, and the kind who don't.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/there-are-two-kinds-of-people-in-the-world-the-kind-who-alphabetize/)

[Sarah Vowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/)

> [What are you hiding? No one ever asks that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/what-are-you-hiding-no-one-ever-asks-that/)

[Sarah Vowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/)

> [“I don't have a driver's license (phobia).”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/i-don-t-have-a-driver-s-license-phobia/)

[Sarah Vowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/)

[Explore all 190 Sarah Vowell quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/)

## More America quotes

> [The costs of the Bush-Obama wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are now estimated to run as high as $4.4 trillion - a major victory…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noam-chomsky/the-costs-of-the-bush-obama-wars-in-iraq-and-afghanistan-are-now/)

[Noam Chomsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noam-chomsky/)

> [Young men, especially in America, write to me and ask me to recommend “a course of reading.” Distrust a course of reading! People who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-lang/young-men-especially-in-america-write-to-me-and-ask-me-to-recommend-a/)

[Andrew Lang](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-lang/)

> [Well, The Day the Earth Caught Fire was a story... I don't if anybody knows what it is but it was about... in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/val-guest/well-the-day-the-earth-caught-fire-was-a-story-i-don-t-if-anybody/)

[Val Guest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/val-guest/)

> [So here's what I want you to know, and here's what I want all our men and women in uniform to know: Because of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barack-obama/so-here-s-what-i-want-you-to-know-and-here-s-what-i-want-all-our-men/)

[Barack Obama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barack-obama/)

> [Today, the world looks to America for leadership. And America looks to its Corps of Marines.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ronald-reagan/today-the-world-looks-to-america-for-leadership-and-america-looks-to/)

[Ronald Reagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ronald-reagan/)

> [The image of blacks usually is one of people who are suffering from hunger, unemployment, and poverty. The idea of them as agents and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/grace-lee-boggs/the-image-of-blacks-usually-is-one-of-people-who-are-suffering-from/)

[Grace Lee Boggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/grace-lee-boggs/)

> [ I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. \[salutes\] ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-hicks/i-ll-smoke-i-ll-cough-i-ll-get-the-tumors-i-ll-die-deal-thank-you/)

[Bill Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-hicks/)

> [America is a democracy and has no Hitler, but I am afraid for her future; there are hard times ahead for the American people,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-einstein/america-is-a-democracy-and-has-no-hitler-but-i-am-afraid-for-her/)

[Albert Einstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-einstein/)

> [I'm gonna bring America together.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-trump/i-m-gonna-bring-america-together/)

[Donald Trump](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-trump/)

> [In the nineteenth century some parts of the world were unexplored, but there was almost no restriction on travel.:; Up to 1914 you did…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-orwell/in-the-nineteenth-century-some-parts-of-the-world-were-unexplored-but/)

[George Orwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-orwell/)

> [We need a system that serves our needs, not the needs of others. Remember, under a Trump administration it's called America first. Remember that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-trump/we-need-a-system-that-serves-our-needs-not-the-needs-of-others/)

[Donald Trump](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-trump/)

> [America, you're sending girls a mixed message. On one hand, you're saying to have positive body image and love who we are; on the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adora-svitak/america-you-re-sending-girls-a-mixed-message-on-one-hand-you-re/)

[Adora Svitak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adora-svitak/)

> [You live overseas, you see these exotic places and you want to know about them. But, weirdly, it also made me homesick for all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ken-jennings/you-live-overseas-you-see-these-exotic-places-and-you-want-to-know/)

[Ken Jennings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ken-jennings/)

> [Freedom in every sense but primarily political sense, a rise in repression that stems from a repression of sexuality. It's AIDS, it's herpes, it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-nicholson/freedom-in-every-sense-but-primarily-political-sense-a-rise-in/)

[Jack Nicholson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-nicholson/)

> [“In American terms, the accomplishment of Genghis Khan might be understood if the United States, instead of being created by a group of educated…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-weatherford/in-american-terms-the-accomplishment-of-genghis-khan-might-be/)

[Jack Weatherford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-weatherford/)

[Browse all 20,382 America quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/america/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "When I think about my relationship with America, I feel like a battered wife: Yeah, he knocks me around a lot, but boy, he sure can dance.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Sarah Vowell"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/when-i-think-about-my-relationship-with-america-i-feel-like-a/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "America"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/when-i-think-about-my-relationship-with-america-i-feel-like-a/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5f/sarah-vowell-2016_america_when-i-think-about-my-relationship-with_1881699.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5f/sarah-vowell-2016_america_when-i-think-about-my-relationship-with_1881699.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5f/sarah-vowell-2016_america_when-i-think-about-my-relationship-with_1881699.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“When I think about my relationship with America, I feel like a battered wife: Yeah, he knocks me around a…” — Sarah Vowell",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Sarah Vowell",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-vowell/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "When I think about my relationship...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/when-i-think-about-my-relationship-with-america-i-feel-like-a/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-vowell/when-i-think-about-my-relationship-with-america-i-feel-like-a/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
