--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I was, but then I realized that I was…" description: "\"“I was, but then I realized that I was holding on to something that didn't exist anymore. That the person I missed didn't exist anymore. People change...." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/595/sarah-ockler-1719_change_i-was-but-then-i-realized-that-i-was-hol_96160.jpg" --- # I was, but then I realized that I was holding on to… ![“I was, but then I realized that I was holding on to something that didn't exist anymore. That the person I missed didn't exist anymore. People change. The things we like and dislike change. And we can wish they couldn't all day long but that never works.” quote by Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/595/sarah-ockler-1719_change_i-was-but-then-i-realized-that-i-was-hol_96160.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/595/sarah-ockler-1719_change_i-was-but-then-i-realized-that-i-was-hol_96160.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/595/sarah-ockler-1719_change_i-was-but-then-i-realized-that-i-was-hol_96160.jpg) > ““I was, but then I realized that I was holding on to something that didn't exist anymore. That the person I missed didn't exist anymore. People change. The things we like and dislike change. And we can wish they couldn't all day long but that never works.”” [Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A candid admission that clinging to a past version of a person is futile because both the individual and preferences evolve, rendering longing ineffective. **In simple terms:** People and preferences change Key Takeaway Let go of outdated attachments Themes change loss acceptance self‑growth impermanence Mood reflective somber Type personal advice When to use this quote - breakups - grief processing - career transitions Key Concepts personal insight Practical Applications - therapy - self‑help content Questions to Reflect On - How do you differentiate healthy nostalgia from harmful longing? - What signals indicate it's time to move on? A Different Perspective Some view nostalgia as a source of comfort and motivation rather than a hindrance. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Change](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/change/) [Insightful](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/insightful/) [People change](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people-change/) ## Related quotes > [I realized I was holding onto something that doesn't exist anymore. That person I missed didn't exist anymore. People change, the things we like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindsey/i-realized-i-was-holding-onto-something-that-doesn-t-exist-anymore/) [Lindsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindsey/) > [I realized that I was holding on to something that didnt exist anymore. That the person I missed was nonexistent. People change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-realized-that-i-was-holding-on-to-something-that-didnt-exist/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“the person I missed didn't exist anymore. People change. The things we like and dislike change. And we can wish they wouldn't all day…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ockler/the-person-i-missed-didn-t-exist-anymore-people-change-the-things-we/) [Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) > [“Stay focused on bringing people together and more on positive messaging so that you can be the change you wish to see in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/germany-kent/stay-focused-on-bringing-people-together-and-more-on-positive/) [Germany Kent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/germany-kent/) > [“Long odds, I realized. But holding on always was my strong suit.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-garner/long-odds-i-realized-but-holding-on-always-was-my-strong-suit/) [Paula Garner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-garner/) > [I realized that I'm the only one holding on, while everyone else is letting go.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/crystal-roby/i-realized-that-i-m-the-only-one-holding-on-while-everyone-else-is/) [Crystal Roby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/crystal-roby/) > [“Tony let out a breath that he hadn’t realized he was holding.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maggie-stiefvater/tony-let-out-a-breath-that-he-hadn-t-realized-he-was-holding/) [Maggie Stiefvater](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maggie-stiefvater/) > [“Then I realized he was still holding my hand.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-stroud/then-i-realized-he-was-still-holding-my-hand/) [Jonathan Stroud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-stroud/) > [“Nico realized that he was holding Percy’s hand and quickly let go.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/nico-realized-that-he-was-holding-percy-s-hand-and-quickly-let-go/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [People change. Things go wrong. Shit happens. Life goes on.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julian-andrew/people-change-things-go-wrong-shit-happens-life-goes-on/) [Julian Andrew](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julian-andrew/) > [It's always the small people who change things. It's never the politicians or the big guys. I mean, who pulled down the Berlin wall?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-besson/it-s-always-the-small-people-who-change-things-it-s-never-the/) [Luc Besson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-besson/) > [Beware the person who has nothing to lose.In the end, music is your only friend.I know what its like to want to die; how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kaile-stewart/beware-the-person-who-has-nothing-to-lose-in-the-end-music-is-your/) [Kaile Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kaile-stewart/) > [Don't try and change things for other people. Don't try and be persuaded by producers and people to change your vision. If you stick…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lynne-ramsay/don-t-try-and-change-things-for-other-people-don-t-try-and-be/) [Lynne Ramsay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lynne-ramsay/) > [But then I realised I was holding on to something that didn't exist anymore. That the person I missed didn't exist anymore. People change.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/but-then-i-realised-i-was-holding-on-to-something-that-didn-t-exist/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [People change for some reasons.. and sometimes reason to change are things that are unbearable..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/people-change-for-some-reasons-and-sometimes-reason-to-change-are/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Sarah Ockler > [“For all its ridiculous imperfections, life is pretty damn perfect sometimes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ockler/for-all-its-ridiculous-imperfections-life-is-pretty-damn-perfect/) [Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) > [“Because I realized I was falling for another guy, fifty-six.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ockler/because-i-realized-i-was-falling-for-another-guy-fifty-six/) [Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) > [“I was falling in love. I am losing my father. With Emilio Vargas. To smoke and shadow. My heart fluttered. My heart aches. To…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ockler/i-was-falling-in-love-i-am-losing-my-father-with-emilio-vargas-to/) [Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) > [“Sometimes life rocks so hard your heart wants to explode just because the sun came up and you got to feel it on your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ockler/sometimes-life-rocks-so-hard-your-heart-wants-to-explode-just-because/) [Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) > [“The hardest thing is that I’ll never know exactly what I lost, how much it should hurt, how long I should keep thinking about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ockler/the-hardest-thing-is-that-i-ll-never-know-exactly-what-i-lost-how/) [Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) > [“bienvenue au fucking Canada!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ockler/bienvenue-au-fucking-canada/) [Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) > [“But when he died, I saw - nothing. There was nothing left to see. It happened and it was impossible and beautiful and then…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ockler/but-when-he-died-i-saw-nothing-there-was-nothing-left-to-see-it/) [Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) > [“Don't settle, okay? Not for anything. I mean it. You only get this one chance at life, far as I know. Take it. Even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ockler/don-t-settle-okay-not-for-anything-i-mean-it-you-only-get-this-one/) [Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) > [“...while well-meaning relatives and friends stopped by, bearing an endless supply of cards and food in disposable foil pans and saying all the wrong…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ockler/while-well-meaning-relatives-and-friends-stopped-by-bearing-an/) [Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) > [“What if I come back and I'm different, Anna? Sometimes you go to a place where everything is different, and everything you ever know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ockler/what-if-i-come-back-and-i-m-different-anna-sometimes-you-go-to-a/) [Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) > [“Patrick leans in for a hug through the open doorway, and in his arms I'm reminded of the other dream I had last night,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ockler/patrick-leans-in-for-a-hug-through-the-open-doorway-and-in-his-arms-i/) [Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) > [“We all long for what could have been.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ockler/we-all-long-for-what-could-have-been/) [Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) > [“. . . how easily some things can be broken for good and for bad, and how some things, no matter how shattered, can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ockler/how-easily-some-things-can-be-broken-for-good-and-for-bad-and-how/) [Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) > [“She's a human being, just like me. Frail and faulty and flawed, capable of making the most heinous mistakes and inflicting the most severe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ockler/she-s-a-human-being-just-like-me-frail-and-faulty-and-flawed-capable/) [Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) > [“Abby's my sister, Hudson. We're twins." "Oh thank God! I mean thank God... that you... have a sister... what a special... um, napkin?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ockler/abby-s-my-sister-hudson-we-re-twins-oh-thank-god-i-mean-thank-god/) [Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) [Explore all 211 Sarah Ockler quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/) ## More Change quotes > [Only within yourself exists the other reality for which you long. I can give you nothing that has not already its being within yourself.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hermann-hesse/only-within-yourself-exists-the-other-reality-for-which-you-long-i/) [Hermann Hesse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hermann-hesse/) > [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I can't believe that I'm sitting in meetings with Steven Spielberg, Tom Hanks, and Annette Bening. I want to take on that responsibility to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-ross-williams/i-can-t-believe-that-i-m-sitting-in-meetings-with-steven-spielberg/) [Roger Ross Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-ross-williams/) > [“…progress isn't necessarily about change but about things turning out as we want them to”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-hogan/progress-isn-t-necessarily-about-change-but-about-things-turning-out/) Phil Hogan > [Nobody can tell me that no changes are necessary in Washington.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-weld/nobody-can-tell-me-that-no-changes-are-necessary-in-washington/) [William Weld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-weld/) > [If my campaign is not in the debate, we will not be talking about how we really fix this problem of endless and expanding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-stein/if-my-campaign-is-not-in-the-debate-we-will-not-be-talking-about-how/) [Jill Stein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-stein/) > [When you walk down the street of Kabul your values for life changes, they do change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marco-pierre-white/when-you-walk-down-the-street-of-kabul-your-values-for-life-changes/) [Marco Pierre White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marco-pierre-white/) > [Your world will change whether or not you choose to change, but you have the power to choose it's direction.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/napoleon-hill/your-world-will-change-whether-or-not-you-choose-to-change-but-you/) [Napoleon Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/napoleon-hill/) > [I hope I continue to evolve.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-flair/i-hope-i-continue-to-evolve/) [Charlotte Flair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-flair/) > [“Stay focused on bringing people together and more on positive messaging so that you can be the change you wish to see in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/germany-kent/stay-focused-on-bringing-people-together-and-more-on-positive/) [Germany Kent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/germany-kent/) > [The biggest change for me as a mom was realizing I needed to put someone else before me. Now the hardest part about the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-alexis/the-biggest-change-for-me-as-a-mom-was-realizing-i-needed-to-put/) [Kim Alexis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-alexis/) > [“After the funeral, my life changed. I felt as if time were suddenly precious, water going down an open drain, and I could not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-albom/after-the-funeral-my-life-changed-i-felt-as-if-time-were-suddenly/) [Mitch Albom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-albom/) > [You practice mindfulness, on the one hand, to be calm and peaceful. On the other hand, as you practice mindfulness and live a life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-practice-mindfulness-on-the-one-hand-to-be-calm-and-peaceful-on/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Irish research will contribute to global progress and have the potential to help all countries realise the potential of their land sectors in addressing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/enda-kenny/irish-research-will-contribute-to-global-progress-and-have-the/) [Enda Kenny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/enda-kenny/) > [No man can change himself into anything from sheer reason; he can only change into what he potentially is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-jung/no-man-can-change-himself-into-anything-from-sheer-reason-he-can-only/) [Carl Jung](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-jung/) [Browse all 33,920 Change quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/change/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I was, but then I realized that I was holding on to something that didn't exist anymore. 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