--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The trouble with comparing yourself to…" description: "\"“The trouble with comparing yourself to others is that there are too many others. Using all others as your control group, all your worst fears and all ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a53/sarah-manguso-11172_comparing_the-trouble-with-comparing-yourself-to-o_81632.jpg" --- # The trouble with comparing yourself to others is that… ![“The trouble with comparing yourself to others is that there are too many others. Using all others as your control group, all your worst fears and all your fondest hopes are at once true. You are good; you are bad; you are abnormal; you are just like everyone else.” quote by Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a53/sarah-manguso-11172_comparing_the-trouble-with-comparing-yourself-to-o_81632.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a53/sarah-manguso-11172_comparing_the-trouble-with-comparing-yourself-to-o_81632.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a53/sarah-manguso-11172_comparing_the-trouble-with-comparing-yourself-to-o_81632.jpg) > ““The trouble with comparing yourself to others is that there are too many others. Using all others as your control group, all your worst fears and all your fondest hopes are at once true. You are good; you are bad; you are abnormal; you are just like everyone else.”” [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Comparing yourself to an unbounded, diverse set of people leads to contradictory self‑judgments, making any single assessment unreliable. **In simple terms:** Self‑comparison is inherently flawed. Key Takeaway Avoid using others as a personal benchmark. Themes self‑esteem psychology social comparison identity cognitive bias Mood reflective cautious insightful Type aphor observation advice When to use this quote - career planning - personal development - social media use - relationship dynamics Key Concepts relative evaluation subjectivity normative standards Practical Applications - coaching - mental‑health interventions Questions to Reflect On - How can you define success without reference to others? - What internal metrics can replace external comparison? ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Comparing yourself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comparing-yourself/) [Comparing yourself to others](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comparing-yourself-to-others/) [Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) [Fears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fears/) [Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hope/) ## Related quotes > [One of the greatest of all sources of misery is comparing yourself to others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zhat/one-of-the-greatest-of-all-sources-of-misery-is-comparing-yourself-to/) [Zhat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zhat/) > [In this world, theres always going to be people who are better then you. So stop comparing yourself to others, and just be the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/in-this-world-theres-always-going-to-be-people-who-are-better-then/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Stop comparing yourself to others you are amazing...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/stop-comparing-yourself-to-others-you-are-amazing/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [One of the things that I've worked my way out of doing, and I knew that I needed to, was comparing myself to other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/india-arie-2/one-of-the-things-that-i-ve-worked-my-way-out-of-doing-and-i-knew/) [India.Arie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/india-arie-2/) > [You can never be happy when you're constantly comparing yourself to others. Keep your eyes ahead.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sanaa-lathan/you-can-never-be-happy-when-you-re-constantly-comparing-yourself-to/) [Sanaa Lathan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sanaa-lathan/) > [“Stop comparing yourself to others and focus on your own improvement.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lolly-daskal/stop-comparing-yourself-to-others-and-focus-on-your-own-improvement/) [Lolly Daskal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lolly-daskal/) > [Don't make the mistake of comparing yourself to others. If God wanted you to have their exact gifts, He would have given them to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-kardashian/don-t-make-the-mistake-of-comparing-yourself-to-others-if-god-wanted/) [Kim Kardashian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-kardashian/) > [Be happy without comparing yourself to others..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/be-happy-without-comparing-yourself-to-others/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [“Stop Comparing Yourself to Others The only thing that you will gain by comparing yourself, and your current situation, to others is pain. When…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexis-g-roldan/stop-comparing-yourself-to-others-the-only-thing-that-you-will-gain/) [Alexis G. Roldan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexis-g-roldan/) > [Run your own race and stop comparing yourself to others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/run-your-own-race-and-stop-comparing-yourself-to-others/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“everyone's successful in his or her own way, that you can't spend your life comparing yourself to others.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/everyone-s-successful-in-his-or-her-own-way-that-you-can-t-spend-your/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samira-ferreira/happiness-is-found-when-you-stop-comparing-yourself-to-others/) [Samira Ferreira](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samira-ferreira/) > [Quit comparing yourself to others. The only comparison that makes any sense is whether you are better today than you were yesterday](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suman-rai/quit-comparing-yourself-to-others-the-only-comparison-that-makes-any/) [Suman Rai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suman-rai/) > [“Comparing yourself to others does nothing for you. Society has conditioned us to value people who fit a secular mold of perfection".”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michele-woolley/comparing-yourself-to-others-does-nothing-for-you-society-has/) [Michele Woolley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michele-woolley/) > [Comparing yourself to others is an act of violence against your authentic self.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iyanla-vanzant/comparing-yourself-to-others-is-an-act-of-violence-against-your/) [Iyanla Vanzant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iyanla-vanzant/) ## More by Sarah Manguso > [I like people who possess either deep mastery or deep empathy, but not as much as I like those who possess both.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/i-like-people-who-possess-either-deep-mastery-or-deep-empathy-but-not/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [The best thing about time passing is the privilege of running out of it, of watching the wave of mortality break over me and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/the-best-thing-about-time-passing-is-the-privilege-of-running-out-of/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [“There will come a time when people decide you've had enough of your grief, and they'll try to take it away from you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/there-will-come-a-time-when-people-decide-you-ve-had-enough-of-your/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [“It’s impossible to fail if one doesn’t know how the end should look. And it’s impossible to succeed. But it’s possible to enjoy.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/it-s-impossible-to-fail-if-one-doesn-t-know-how-the-end-should-look/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [“I tend to forget that my measurement of time is designed to distract me from what's really happening.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/i-tend-to-forget-that-my-measurement-of-time-is-designed-to-distract/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [My existence shrank from an arrow of light pointing into the future forever to a speck of light that was the present moment. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/my-existence-shrank-from-an-arrow-of-light-pointing-into-the-future/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [“Whatever you're feeling, billions already have. Feel for them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/whatever-you-re-feeling-billions-already-have-feel-for-them/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [“ My friend Isabel says, When you’re writing even a short novel, with at least a couple of subplots, and God only knows how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/my-friend-isabel-says-when-you-re-writing-even-a-short-novel-with-at/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [The only thing I've consistently been interested in in the last twenty-five years is writing very short texts. That continues to interest me as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/the-only-thing-i-ve-consistently-been-interested-in-in-the-last/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [“Like a vase, a heart breaks once. After that, it just yields to its flaws.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/like-a-vase-a-heart-breaks-once-after-that-it-just-yields-to-its-flaws/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [“Death will reveal what you otherwise would have finished. Also what you never would have finished. I found the notes for a book a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/death-will-reveal-what-you-otherwise-would-have-finished-also-what/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [Those who claim to write about something larger and more significant than the self sometimes fail to comprehend the dimensions of self.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/those-who-claim-to-write-about-something-larger-and-more-significant/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [Look at me, dancing my little dance for a few moments against the background of eternity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/look-at-me-dancing-my-little-dance-for-a-few-moments-against-the/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [Chair or no chair: a binary relation. But the vicissitudes of moving the body around are infinite. You never know what a person in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/chair-or-no-chair-a-binary-relation-but-the-vicissitudes-of-moving/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [“What about those yogis who can lie down on a bed of nails, then arise, streaming blood, then stop the flow of blood from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/what-about-those-yogis-who-can-lie-down-on-a-bed-of-nails-then-arise/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) [Explore all 61 Sarah Manguso quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) ## More Comparing quotes > [Nothing will kill what you've been called to do more than comparing yourself to someone else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-moore/nothing-will-kill-what-you-ve-been-called-to-do-more-than-comparing/) [Beth Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-moore/) > [One of the greatest of all sources of misery is comparing yourself to others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zhat/one-of-the-greatest-of-all-sources-of-misery-is-comparing-yourself-to/) [Zhat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zhat/) > [If you're not comparing apples to apples, it doesn't matter.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/reince-priebus/if-you-re-not-comparing-apples-to-apples-it-doesn-t-matter/) [Reince Priebus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/reince-priebus/) > [You start comparing people, and ultimately, somebody feels diminished.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-van-gundy/you-start-comparing-people-and-ultimately-somebody-feels-diminished/) [Jeff Van Gundy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-van-gundy/) > [“we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tyndale/we-dare-not-class-ourselves-or-compare-ourselves-with-those-who/) [Tyndale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tyndale/) > [When ever we start comparing our partner with others that means we start ending our relationship…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-choudhri/when-ever-we-start-comparing-our-partner-with-others-that-means-we/) Nikhil Choudhri > [“Comparing yourself to others does nothing for you. Society has conditioned us to value people who fit a secular mold of perfection".”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michele-woolley/comparing-yourself-to-others-does-nothing-for-you-society-has/) [Michele Woolley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michele-woolley/) > [Comparing objects like cars, houses, clothes, and defining life according to those comparisons, instead of trying to discover the real reason for being alive.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/comparing-objects-like-cars-houses-clothes-and-defining-life/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-dyson/don-t-undermine-your-worth-by-comparing-yourself-with-others-it-is/) [Brian Dyson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-dyson/) > [“To love is to stop comparing.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-love-is-to-stop-comparing/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“All of us are interested in things outside of our stewardships, and we should be, but the most important way to do anything about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-r-covey/all-of-us-are-interested-in-things-outside-of-our-stewardships-and-we/) [Stephen R. Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-r-covey/) > [That's like comparing apples with hermaphroditic ground sloths.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/that-s-like-comparing-apples-with-hermaphroditic-ground-sloths/) [Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/) > [The Problem With Things Is That Everyone Is Always Comparing Everyone With Everyone And Because Of That, It Discredits People...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-problem-with-things-is-that-everyone-is-always-comparing-everyone/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Quit comparing yourself to others. The only comparison that makes any sense is whether you are better today than you were yesterday](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suman-rai/quit-comparing-yourself-to-others-the-only-comparison-that-makes-any/) [Suman Rai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suman-rai/) > [“Guns are like cars: you can trust a good used one better than one that's brand new.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/haruki-murakami/guns-are-like-cars-you-can-trust-a-good-used-one-better-than-one-that/) [Haruki Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/haruki-murakami/) Browse all 174 Comparing quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“The trouble with comparing yourself to others is that there are too many others. Using all others as your control group, all your worst fears and all your fondest hopes are at once true. 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