--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: My considerate friend insists on hearing…" description: "\"“My considerate friend insists on hearing about my troubles first, and after several minutes of excavation, I'm drowning in them and can't sufficiently..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ff/sarah-manguso-11172_friendship_my-considerate-friend-insists-on-hearing_1658277.jpg" --- # My considerate friend insists on hearing about my troubles… ![“My considerate friend insists on hearing about my troubles first, and after several minutes of excavation, I'm drowning in them and can't sufficiently attend to hers. But I'm doing her a favor, letting her escape her suffering into mine.” quote by Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ff/sarah-manguso-11172_friendship_my-considerate-friend-insists-on-hearing_1658277.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ff/sarah-manguso-11172_friendship_my-considerate-friend-insists-on-hearing_1658277.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ff/sarah-manguso-11172_friendship_my-considerate-friend-insists-on-hearing_1658277.jpg) > ““My considerate friend insists on hearing about my troubles first, and after several minutes of excavation, I'm drowning in them and can't sufficiently attend to hers. But I'm doing her a favor, letting her escape her suffering into mine.”” [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Listening to others' pain can overwhelm you, making it hard to support them while caring for yourself. **In simple terms:** Listening can drown you. Key Takeaway Set boundaries to protect yourself. Themes empathy self‑care relationships Mood reflective concerned Type advice personal narrative When to use this quote - friendship - therapy - support groups Key Concepts emotional labor boundary setting Questions to Reflect On - How do you balance empathy with self‑preservation? - When should you step back? A Different Perspective Listening without limits can harm both parties. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Considerate Friend](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/considerate-friend-730903/) [Escape Suffering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/escape-suffering-630318/) [Excavation Drowning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/excavation-drowning-730902/) [Friend Insists](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friend-insists-730901/) [Friendship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship/) [Letting Escape](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/letting-escape-730904/) ## Related quotes > [“If you are having private thoughts and ask an intimate friend to listen to them in privacy or on a date will that be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ana-claudia-antunes/if-you-are-having-private-thoughts-and-ask-an-intimate-friend-to/) [Ana Claudia Antunes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ana-claudia-antunes/) > [“God doesn’t promise us escape from suffering or pain. Rather, He promises to miraculously use even bad situations for your ultimate good.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-george/god-doesn-t-promise-us-escape-from-suffering-or-pain-rather-he/) [Jim George](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-george/) > [The inferno of the living is not something that will be; if there is one, it is what is already here, the inferno where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/italo-calvino/the-inferno-of-the-living-is-not-something-that-will-be-if-there-is/) [Italo Calvino](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/italo-calvino/) > [“To become the spectator of one’s own life, as Harry says, is to escape the suffering of life.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/to-become-the-spectator-of-one-s-own-life-as-harry-says-is-to-escape/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [Laughter is Humanity's mechanism to escape suffering.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/laughter-is-humanity-s-mechanism-to-escape-suffering/) [Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/) > [You have to grieve in order to move on .We run from emotional pain to escape from suffering, unaware of the fact that it'll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/senoraroy/you-have-to-grieve-in-order-to-move-on-we-run-from-emotional-pain-to/) [Senoraroy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/senoraroy/) > [To become a spectator of one's own life is to escape the suffering of life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/to-become-a-spectator-of-one-s-own-life-is-to-escape-the-suffering-of/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [If your goal is to avoid pain and escape suffering, I would not advise you to seek higher levels of consciousness or spiritual evolution.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/if-your-goal-is-to-avoid-pain-and-escape-suffering-i-would-not-advise/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [Like many others, I'm deeply sympathetic to the huge numbers of people looking to come here today to escape suffering and poverty in their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ed-koch/like-many-others-i-m-deeply-sympathetic-to-the-huge-numbers-of-people/) [Ed Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ed-koch/) > [Those desiring to escape from suffering hasten right toward suffering. 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I'd love to get the thrill of speaking actors making my work even funnier.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-howard/i-m-trying-to-write-a-film-with-my-friend-i-d-love-to-get-the-thrill/) [Russell Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-howard/) > [“ever day Maureen is Selfish To her friend and Family One she get mad at her friend and family and She need to Grad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maureen-andeson/ever-day-maureen-is-selfish-to-her-friend-and-family-one-she-get-mad/) [Maureen Andeson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maureen-andeson/) > [I never believed in trying to do anything. Whatever I set out to do I found I had already accomplished.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/i-never-believed-in-trying-to-do-anything-whatever-i-set-out-to-do-i/) [Johann Wolfgang von Goethe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/) > [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Sarah Manguso > [I like people who possess either deep mastery or deep empathy, but not as much as I like those who possess both.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/i-like-people-who-possess-either-deep-mastery-or-deep-empathy-but-not/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [The best thing about time passing is the privilege of running out of it, of watching the wave of mortality break over me and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/the-best-thing-about-time-passing-is-the-privilege-of-running-out-of/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [“The trouble with comparing yourself to others is that there are too many others. Using all others as your control group, all your worst…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/the-trouble-with-comparing-yourself-to-others-is-that-there-are-too/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [“There will come a time when people decide you've had enough of your grief, and they'll try to take it away from you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/there-will-come-a-time-when-people-decide-you-ve-had-enough-of-your/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [“It’s impossible to fail if one doesn’t know how the end should look. And it’s impossible to succeed. 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Feel for them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/whatever-you-re-feeling-billions-already-have-feel-for-them/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [“ My friend Isabel says, When you’re writing even a short novel, with at least a couple of subplots, and God only knows how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/my-friend-isabel-says-when-you-re-writing-even-a-short-novel-with-at/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [The only thing I've consistently been interested in in the last twenty-five years is writing very short texts. That continues to interest me as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/the-only-thing-i-ve-consistently-been-interested-in-in-the-last/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [“Like a vase, a heart breaks once. After that, it just yields to its flaws.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/like-a-vase-a-heart-breaks-once-after-that-it-just-yields-to-its-flaws/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [“Death will reveal what you otherwise would have finished. Also what you never would have finished. I found the notes for a book a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/death-will-reveal-what-you-otherwise-would-have-finished-also-what/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [Those who claim to write about something larger and more significant than the self sometimes fail to comprehend the dimensions of self.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/those-who-claim-to-write-about-something-larger-and-more-significant/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [Look at me, dancing my little dance for a few moments against the background of eternity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/look-at-me-dancing-my-little-dance-for-a-few-moments-against-the/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) > [Chair or no chair: a binary relation. But the vicissitudes of moving the body around are infinite. You never know what a person in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-manguso/chair-or-no-chair-a-binary-relation-but-the-vicissitudes-of-moving/) [Sarah Manguso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) [Explore all 61 Sarah Manguso quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-manguso/) ## More Friendship quotes > [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I never believed in trying to do anything. Whatever I set out to do I found I had already accomplished.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/i-never-believed-in-trying-to-do-anything-whatever-i-set-out-to-do-i/) [Johann Wolfgang von Goethe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/) > [“ever day Maureen is Selfish To her friend and Family One she get mad at her friend and family and She need to Grad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maureen-andeson/ever-day-maureen-is-selfish-to-her-friend-and-family-one-she-get-mad/) [Maureen Andeson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maureen-andeson/) > [I'm trying to write a film with my friend. I'd love to get the thrill of speaking actors making my work even funnier.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-howard/i-m-trying-to-write-a-film-with-my-friend-i-d-love-to-get-the-thrill/) [Russell Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-howard/) > [I gave my archive to Emory University because there's a really dear friend who teaches there, Rudolph Byrd, and he's the editor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-walker/i-gave-my-archive-to-emory-university-because-there-s-a-really-dear/) [Alice Walker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-walker/) > [Friends are like stars you can't always see them, but you know they're there.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/unknwon/friends-are-like-stars-you-can-t-always-see-them-but-you-know-they-re/) [Unknwon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/unknwon/) > [I've been writing songs since I was 10 years old and always had a penchant for rhyming. I started listening to hip hop through…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hoodie-allen/i-ve-been-writing-songs-since-i-was-10-years-old-and-always-had-a/) [Hoodie Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hoodie-allen/) > [If you love some one for who they are not for there body or how many friend so when you say I love you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/unknow/if-you-love-some-one-for-who-they-are-not-for-there-body-or-how-many/) [Unknow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/unknow/) > [“But my best friend from college was silent for a long time. She, of all of my friends, had seen the parade of sad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-groff/but-my-best-friend-from-college-was-silent-for-a-long-time-she-of-all/) [Lauren Groff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-groff/) > [You smile upon your friend to-day, To-day his ills are over; You hearken to the lover's say, And happy is the lover. 'Tis late…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-smile-upon-your-friend-to-day-to-day-his-ills-are-over-you/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“way. A true friend isn't the one that agrees with everything you say or do. 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