---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Writing about sex is a challenge for the…"
description: "\"“Writing about sex is a challenge for the same reason sex is a challenge. Because it’s complicated. Because it doesn’t always make sense and it isn’t a..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16e/sarah-maclean-1164_good-sex_writing-about-sex-is-a-challenge-for-the_665734.png"
---

#  Writing about sex is a challenge for the same reason sex…

![“Writing about sex is a challenge for the same reason sex is a challenge. Because it’s complicated. Because it doesn’t always make sense and it isn’t always perfect and it’s sometimes awful and it’s sometimes hilarious. But underneath all the clever wordplay, it’s about hope. Hope that someone will…” quote by Sarah MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16e/sarah-maclean-1164_good-sex_writing-about-sex-is-a-challenge-for-the_665734.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16e/sarah-maclean-1164_good-sex_writing-about-sex-is-a-challenge-for-the_665734.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16e/sarah-maclean-1164_good-sex_writing-about-sex-is-a-challenge-for-the_665734.png)

> ““Writing about sex is a challenge for the same reason sex is a challenge. Because it’s complicated. Because it doesn’t always make sense and it isn’t always perfect and it’s sometimes awful and it’s sometimes hilarious. But underneath all the clever wordplay, it’s about hope. Hope that someone will see us, and accept us, and perhaps — after all that — choose us. It’s the barest we will ever be. The barest a character will ever be. That’s why it’s difficult. As for what makes a good sex scene, a romance novelist would have told you that when done well and with a skilled hand, the best sex scenes can at once arouse and empower. Sex on the page gives readers the freedom to explore their own sexuality, their own pleasures, their own identities. With hope. And without judgment.””

[Sarah MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Sex scenes reveal vulnerability and hope, offering readers a judgment‑free exploration of identity.

**In simple terms:** Sex writing shows true selves.

Key Takeaway

Write honest, hopeful intimacy.

Themes

vulnerability hope identity sexuality expression

Mood

introspective inspirational

Type

advice creative.

When to use this quote

- novel writing
- romance genre
- creative workshops
- editorial feedback

Key Concepts

intimacy empowerment authenticity narrative risk

Questions to Reflect On

- What does authentic intimacy look like in your work?
- How can you avoid clichés?

A Different Perspective

Balancing arousal with empowerment can be tricky.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Good sex](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/good-sex/) [Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hope/)

## Related quotes

> [When writing sex scenes, there is often no pleasing anyone, except perhaps the writer herself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lynn-coady/when-writing-sex-scenes-there-is-often-no-pleasing-anyone-except/)

[Lynn Coady](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lynn-coady/)

> [I have even taught classes on writing about sex, and I've looked closely at different writers' sex scenes. On the level of craft I've…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/k-m-soehnlein/i-have-even-taught-classes-on-writing-about-sex-and-i-ve-looked/)

[K. M. Soehnlein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/k-m-soehnlein/)

> [Writers have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/writers-have-problems-writing-sex-scenes-because-writing-one-really/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

> [“Describe us as a sex," was her challenge. "Sphinxes without secrets.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/describe-us-as-a-sex-was-her-challenge-sphinxes-without-secrets/)

[Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/)

> [“Anyone can write good sex scenes. All you need is some basic knowledge of anatomy, the right vocabulary and some choice reading material. Experience…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/claire-kent/anyone-can-write-good-sex-scenes-all-you-need-is-some-basic-knowledge/)

[Claire Kent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/claire-kent/)

> [“Women need a reason to have sex; men need only a place.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-demille/women-need-a-reason-to-have-sex-men-need-only-a-place/)

[Nelson DeMille](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-demille/)

> [“Women need a reason to have sex, while men just need an angle”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-stern/women-need-a-reason-to-have-sex-while-men-just-need-an-angle/)

[Josh Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-stern/)

> [Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/women-need-a-reason-to-have-sex-men-just-need-a-place/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [The cultural ban on having sex with your friends is an inevitable offshoot of a societal belief that the only acceptable reason to have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dossie-easton/the-cultural-ban-on-having-sex-with-your-friends-is-an-inevitable/)

[Dossie Easton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dossie-easton/)

> [The only reason I'd ever get a sex change operation is to see what it's like to be right all the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-wilson/the-only-reason-i-d-ever-get-a-sex-change-operation-is-to-see-what-it/)

[Brian Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-wilson/)

> [“And then, for some masochistic and stupid reason, we had sex again.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taylor-jenkins-reid/and-then-for-some-masochistic-and-stupid-reason-we-had-sex-again/)

[Taylor Jenkins Reid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taylor-jenkins-reid/)

> [God gave women butt-holes for a reason, and that reason is for sex. Sorry ladies, they're Gods rules not mine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/god-gave-women-butt-holes-for-a-reason-and-that-reason-is-for-sex/)

[Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/)

> [There used to be a joke that women need a reason to have sex, while men only need a place. Does policy reflect that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rush-limbaugh/there-used-to-be-a-joke-that-women-need-a-reason-to-have-sex-while/)

[Rush Limbaugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rush-limbaugh/)

> [“I tried to think of a good reason as to why I had a sex book down my pants, but my brain refused to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-larochelle/i-tried-to-think-of-a-good-reason-as-to-why-i-had-a-sex-book-down-my/)

[David LaRochelle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-larochelle/)

> [“I had a dream about you last night. I was writing a ‘Sex for dummies-Christians That Secretly What to be Porn Stars- 1st edition.’…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/crystal-hudson/i-had-a-dream-about-you-last-night-i-was-writing-a-sex-for-dummies/)

[Crystal Hudson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/crystal-hudson/)

## More by Sarah MacLean

> [“You think my feelings toward you apathetic? You think you bore me?” “Don’t I?” He shook his head slowly, continuing toward her, stalking her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/you-think-my-feelings-toward-you-apathetic-you-think-you-bore-me-don/)

[Sarah MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/)

> [I never met Colleen McCullough; if I had, I probably would have cried and made a fool of myself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/i-never-met-colleen-mccullough-if-i-had-i-probably-would-have-cried/)

[Sarah MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/)

> [He raked his fingers through his hair. "She doesn't need me." Ralston smirked. "You are laboring under that mistaken impression that it is their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/he-raked-his-fingers-through-his-hair-she-doesn-t-need-me-ralston/)

[Sarah MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/)

> [“Do you love him?' Isabel paused at the question ... She caught a glimpse of herself in a long looking glass, noting her shape…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/do-you-love-him-isabel-paused-at-the-question-she-caught-a-glimpse-of/)

[Sarah MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/)

> [I practice loving-kindness meditation, which cultivates compassion and equanimity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/i-practice-loving-kindness-meditation-which-cultivates-compassion-and/)

[Sarah MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/)

> [“She told herself that she was happy to meet her executioner.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/she-told-herself-that-she-was-happy-to-meet-her-executioner/)

[Sarah MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/)

> [“What do I win?” she whispered in his ear. He grinned. “What would you like?” “You.” So simple. So perfect. “I am yours,” he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/what-do-i-win-she-whispered-in-his-ear-he-grinned-what-would-you-like/)

[Sarah MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/)

> [By the time I was 10 or 12, I had discovered the lure of the romance genre - and the dusty copy of 'The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/by-the-time-i-was-10-or-12-i-had-discovered-the-lure-of-the-romance/)

[Sarah MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/)

> [You plan to be a challenge, do you?" Juliana smiled angelically. "I agreed to remain, my lord. Not to remain silent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/you-plan-to-be-a-challenge-do-you-juliana-smiled-angelically-i-agreed/)

[Sarah MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/)

> [“She leveled Penelope with a look. “Penelope, you must think, darling! When your father dies! What then?” Lord Needham looked up from his pheasant.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/she-leveled-penelope-with-a-look-penelope-you-must-think-darling-when/)

[Sarah MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/)

> [And... as long as they need me, it's easier to forget that I am alone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/and-as-long-as-they-need-me-it-s-easier-to-forget-that-i-am-alone/)

[Sarah MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/)

> [In books by women and for women, it should come as no surprise that heroines are the heroes of the action, finding themselves, their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/in-books-by-women-and-for-women-it-should-come-as-no-surprise-that/)

[Sarah MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/)

> [“She did not know how long he stood caressing her before he lifted her hand to his lips and pressed his mouth to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/she-did-not-know-how-long-he-stood-caressing-her-before-he-lifted-her/)

[Sarah MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/)

> [As winter approaches - bringing cold weather and family drama - we crave page-turners, books made for long nights and tryptophan-induced sloth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/as-winter-approaches-bringing-cold-weather-and-family-drama-we-crave/)

[Sarah MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/)

> [No doubt, much of the joy of a great romance is the moment when these stoic heroes crack open and reveal themselves to their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/no-doubt-much-of-the-joy-of-a-great-romance-is-the-moment-when-these/)

[Sarah MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/)

[Explore all 278 Sarah MacLean quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/)

## More Good sex quotes

> [Good sex is better than any sleeping pill. Couples who fall asleep after tend to get a perfect night's sleep.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/good-sex-is-better-than-any-sleeping-pill-couples-who-fall-asleep/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“There was… uh, in my book, you know,” her legs moved against his and she finished so low he barely heard her, “a really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-ashley/there-was-uh-in-my-book-you-know-her-legs-moved-against-his-and-she/)

[Kristen Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-ashley/)

> [“Good sex is the basis of any truly civilized society.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gil-a-waters/good-sex-is-the-basis-of-any-truly-civilized-society/)

Gil A. Waters

> [Good sex won't keep a bad relationship!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-t/good-sex-won-t-keep-a-bad-relationship/)

W T

> [Don't make a good sex confusing you with a real love, cause in the real love ,you get great pleasure without sex](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/blackson-beats/don-t-make-a-good-sex-confusing-you-with-a-real-love-cause-in-the/)

Blackson Beats

> [Good sex doesn't fix relationship problems; it just covers it up temporarily.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/good-sex-doesn-t-fix-relationship-problems-it-just-covers-it-up/)

[SONYA PARKER](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [Sex is good, sex is fine, Doggystyle &amp; 69, Just for fun or getting paid, Everyone loves getting laid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sex-is-good-sex-is-fine-doggystyle-69-just-for-fun-or-getting-paid/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“I have no desire to sleep with you. I want to fuck you. And there is no such thing as perfectly good sex.  If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-marie-moning/i-have-no-desire-to-sleep-with-you-i-want-to-fuck-you-and-there-is-no/)

[Karen Marie Moning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-marie-moning/)

> [“All good sex comes with a side order of inappropriate laughter.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lily-morton/all-good-sex-comes-with-a-side-order-of-inappropriate-laughter/)

[Lily Morton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lily-morton/)

> [Sex won't make him love you. A guy can love your good sex, and still not love you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/sex-won-t-make-him-love-you-a-guy-can-love-your-good-sex-and-still/)

[SONYA PARKER](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [Good sex is a mystery. Perhaps humping and pumping is not a mystery, but good sex is a mystery, and how human beings become…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erica-jong/good-sex-is-a-mystery-perhaps-humping-and-pumping-is-not-a-mystery/)

[Erica Jong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erica-jong/)

> [I've had good sex with somebody and just kind of been afterward - "Wow." Once they started opening their mouth and showing their true…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brody-jenner/i-ve-had-good-sex-with-somebody-and-just-kind-of-been-afterward-wow/)

[Brody Jenner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brody-jenner/)

> [I'm not really much of a shopper. I have to say that I'd definitely prefer good sex. What makes good sex? Oh my god.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristin-davis/i-m-not-really-much-of-a-shopper-i-have-to-say-that-i-d-definitely/)

[Kristin Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristin-davis/)

> [Sex is hard to write about because you lose the universal and succumb to the particular. We all have our different favorites. Good sex…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-amis/sex-is-hard-to-write-about-because-you-lose-the-universal-and-succumb/)

[Martin Amis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-amis/)

> [“The heart wants what the heart wants, and mine wants good company in the form of my best friend and good sex in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lilliana-anderson/the-heart-wants-what-the-heart-wants-and-mine-wants-good-company-in/)

[Lilliana Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lilliana-anderson/)

[Browse all 80 Good sex quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/good-sex/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“Writing about sex is a challenge for the same reason sex is a challenge. Because it’s complicated. Because it doesn’t always make sense and it isn’t always perfect and it’s sometimes awful and it’s sometimes hilarious. But underneath all the clever wordplay, it’s about hope. Hope that someone will see us, and accept us, and perhaps — after all that — choose us. It’s the barest we will ever be. The barest a character will ever be. That’s why it’s difficult. As for what makes a good sex scene, a romance novelist would have told you that when done well and with a skilled hand, the best sex scenes can at once arouse and empower. Sex on the page gives readers the freedom to explore their own sexuality, their own pleasures, their own identities. With hope. And without judgment.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Sarah MacLean"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/writing-about-sex-is-a-challenge-for-the-same-reason-sex-is-a/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Good sex"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/writing-about-sex-is-a-challenge-for-the-same-reason-sex-is-a/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16e/sarah-maclean-1164_good-sex_writing-about-sex-is-a-challenge-for-the_665734.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16e/sarah-maclean-1164_good-sex_writing-about-sex-is-a-challenge-for-the_665734.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16e/sarah-maclean-1164_good-sex_writing-about-sex-is-a-challenge-for-the_665734.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Writing about sex is a challenge for the same reason sex is a challenge. Because it’s complicated. Because…” — Sarah MacLean",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Sarah MacLean",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-maclean/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“Writing about sex is a challenge...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/writing-about-sex-is-a-challenge-for-the-same-reason-sex-is-a/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-maclean/writing-about-sex-is-a-challenge-for-the-same-reason-sex-is-a/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
