--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: You couldn't just pick and choose at will…" description: "\"You couldn't just pick and choose at will when someone depended on you, or loved you. It wasn't like a light switch, easy to turn on or off. If you wer..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14c/sarah-dessen-110_choose_you-couldn-t-just-pick-and-choose-at-wil_269469.png" --- # You couldn't just pick and choose at will when someone… ![“You couldn't just pick and choose at will when someone depended on you, or loved you. It wasn't like a light switch, easy to turn on or off. If you were in, you were in. Out, you were out.” quote by Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14c/sarah-dessen-110_choose_you-couldn-t-just-pick-and-choose-at-wil_269469.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14c/sarah-dessen-110_choose_you-couldn-t-just-pick-and-choose-at-wil_269469.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14c/sarah-dessen-110_choose_you-couldn-t-just-pick-and-choose-at-wil_269469.png) > “You couldn't just pick and choose at will when someone depended on you, or loved you. It wasn't like a light switch, easy to turn on or off. If you were in, you were in. Out, you were out.” [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Commitment to others is binary; you either are present or absent, and you cannot toggle affection at will. **In simple terms:** You must be fully there for those who rely on you. Key Takeaway Never half‑commit; be reliable. Themes responsibility relationships trust Mood serious reflective Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - family caregiving - friendship support - romantic partnership - teamwork Key Concepts binary commitment emotional availability Questions to Reflect On - How do you balance personal limits with others' expectations? - When is it healthy to step back? A Different Perspective People may need flexibility, but this view ignores nuanced boundaries. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Light](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/light/) [Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship/) ## Related quotes > [“You couldn’t just pick and choose at will when someone depended on you, or loved you. It wasn’t like a light switch, easy to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/you-couldn-t-just-pick-and-choose-at-will-when-someone-depended-on-2/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [To Stay Focused in Life: You can't know everyone You can't do everything You can't go everywhere We have to pick and choose between…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-c-maxwell/to-stay-focused-in-life-you-can-t-know-everyone-you-can-t-do/) [John C. Maxwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-c-maxwell/) > [I pick and choose. I dont get shit confused. I got a small circle, Im not with different crews.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/drake/i-pick-and-choose-i-dont-get-shit-confused-i-got-a-small-circle-im/) [Drake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/drake/) > [We have to pick and choose between good and a little bit better.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-c-maxwell/we-have-to-pick-and-choose-between-good-and-a-little-bit-better/) [John C. Maxwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-c-maxwell/) > [So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/so-we-pick-and-choose-who-we-want-to-remain-close-to-and-once-we-ve/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Pick and choose sit and lose all you different crews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gorillaz/pick-and-choose-sit-and-lose-all-you-different-crews/) [Gorillaz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gorillaz/) > [I don't pick and choose. I've never really had an qualms about who I fight next.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-whittaker/i-don-t-pick-and-choose-i-ve-never-really-had-an-qualms-about-who-i/) [Robert Whittaker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-whittaker/) > [Only sometimes when we pick and choose among the rules we discover later that we have set aside something precious in the process.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/helen-simonson/only-sometimes-when-we-pick-and-choose-among-the-rules-we-discover/) [Helen Simonson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/helen-simonson/) > [I thank God I'm in a position where I can pick and choose - there are some roles I don't play.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mr-t/i-thank-god-i-m-in-a-position-where-i-can-pick-and-choose-there-are/) [Mr. T](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mr-t/) > [As a football player, you have to learn to pick and choose your battles and what to gamble.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/micah-parsons/as-a-football-player-you-have-to-learn-to-pick-and-choose-your/) [Micah Parsons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/micah-parsons/) > [I definitely pick and choose what I put out and what I want people to know.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/skai-jackson/i-definitely-pick-and-choose-what-i-put-out-and-what-i-want-people-to/) [Skai Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/skai-jackson/) > [I think you have to pick and choose what is most important to tell the story.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-wilson/i-think-you-have-to-pick-and-choose-what-is-most-important-to-tell/) [Patrick Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-wilson/) > [I pick and choose when I like to have my moments.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caeleb-dressel/i-pick-and-choose-when-i-like-to-have-my-moments/) [Caeleb Dressel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caeleb-dressel/) > [In life you have to pick and choose your battles, it's easy to forget not to be at war with YOURSELF.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/in-life-you-have-to-pick-and-choose-your-battles-it-s-easy-to-forget/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I pick and choose what I want to do at any given time, and what not to do, importantly. My agents, I won't hear…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-mcdonagh/i-pick-and-choose-what-i-want-to-do-at-any-given-time-and-what-not-to/) [Martin McDonagh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-mcdonagh/) ## More by Sarah Dessen > [Sometimes a question can hurt more than an answer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/sometimes-a-question-can-hurt-more-than-an-answer/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [“if i were a book i would be so open”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/if-i-were-a-book-i-would-be-so-open/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [Harder to get in than out, like so little else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/harder-to-get-in-than-out-like-so-little-else/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [“At times, I found myself questioning his very existence, even though I knew I had, in fact, spotted him, with my own eyes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/at-times-i-found-myself-questioning-his-very-existence-even-though-i/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [You don't have to say it out loud. I already know why you like me.' 'You do, huh?' 'Yep.' He wrapped his arms around…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/you-don-t-have-to-say-it-out-loud-i-already-know-why-you-like-me-you/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/no-relationship-is-perfect-ever-there-are-always-some-ways-you-have/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [When you had to do something, you had to do it. And eventually, if you were lucky, you did it well.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/when-you-had-to-do-something-you-had-to-do-it-and-eventually-if-you/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [the truth about forever is that it is happening right now](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/the-truth-about-forever-is-that-it-is-happening-right-now/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [I jammed my hand in my jacket pocket, bracing myself fo the next hit, and fel something. Something grainy and samll, sticking to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/i-jammed-my-hand-in-my-jacket-pocket-bracing-myself-fo-the-next-hit/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [I had no illusions about love anymore. It came, it went, it left casualties or it didn't. People weren't meant to be together forever,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/i-had-no-illusions-about-love-anymore-it-came-it-went-it-left/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [“But maybe that isn't so bad. You can't love anyone that way more than once in a lifetime. It's too hard and it hurts…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/but-maybe-that-isn-t-so-bad-you-can-t-love-anyone-that-way-more-than/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [This was just one night, one chance to vary and see where it took me. The fireflies were probably already out: maybe it wasn’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/this-was-just-one-night-one-chance-to-vary-and-see-where-it-took-me/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [call it chicken salad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/call-it-chicken-salad/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [“For me, however, it was a mix of the two, this constant push and pull. I loved it here. But I'd been in that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/for-me-however-it-was-a-mix-of-the-two-this-constant-push-and-pull-i/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [I think whenever a writer is really enjoying themselves and liking what they are doing, that shows on the page.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/i-think-whenever-a-writer-is-really-enjoying-themselves-and-liking/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) [Explore all 1,251 Sarah Dessen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) ## More Choose quotes > [Everyone needs someone to love, and I choose you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/everyone-needs-someone-to-love-and-i-choose-you/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [When you have a choice, choose happy!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pancho-barnes/when-you-have-a-choice-choose-happy/) Pancho Barnes > [You dont choose your life; it chooses you. Theres no point asking why life has reserved certain joys or griefs, you just accept them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/you-dont-choose-your-life-it-chooses-you-theres-no-point-asking-why/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [If somebody asks me to choose a biopic, it would be Narain Karthikeyan because I love racing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naga-chaitanya/if-somebody-asks-me-to-choose-a-biopic-it-would-be-narain-karthikeyan/) [Naga Chaitanya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naga-chaitanya/) > [“Either you soften your ego, or the world will do it for you. Choose!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bert-mccoy/either-you-soften-your-ego-or-the-world-will-do-it-for-you-choose/) [Bert McCoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bert-mccoy/) > [I'm aware of who I am and I'm comfortable with who I choose to date.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shibani-dandekar/i-m-aware-of-who-i-am-and-i-m-comfortable-with-who-i-choose-to-date/) [Shibani Dandekar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shibani-dandekar/) > [No actor wants to choose - they just want all of the options available to them all the time; we tend to be pretty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gillian-jacobs/no-actor-wants-to-choose-they-just-want-all-of-the-options-available/) [Gillian Jacobs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gillian-jacobs/) > [If you choose to work at a larger company over a smaller company, you are more likely to be higher paid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-sweet/if-you-choose-to-work-at-a-larger-company-over-a-smaller-company-you/) [Julie Sweet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-sweet/) > [You can't choose what stays and what stays away.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/florence-welch/you-can-t-choose-what-stays-and-what-stays-away/) [Florence Welch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/florence-welch/) > [It's only a thought and a thought can be changed. Choose good ones.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wayne-dyer/it-s-only-a-thought-and-a-thought-can-be-changed-choose-good-ones/) [Wayne Dyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wayne-dyer/) > [People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime...so you gotta choose who is good for you! Be wise, be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/people-come-into-your-life-for-a-reason-a-season-or-a-lifetime-so-you/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I'm not opposed - we manufacture a lot of socks in North Carolina - I just choose not to wear them. It's a Southern…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-burr/i-m-not-opposed-we-manufacture-a-lot-of-socks-in-north-carolina-i/) [Richard Burr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-burr/) > [Having too many options is bad. I want one person, just one. Not a whole bunch to choose from,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roderickthefirst/having-too-many-options-is-bad-i-want-one-person-just-one-not-a-whole/) RoderickTheFirst > [If I could be anyone, I'd choose the lead singer of Arcade Fire, Win Butler.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-kardashian/if-i-could-be-anyone-i-d-choose-the-lead-singer-of-arcade-fire-win/) [Rob Kardashian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-kardashian/) > [People are as happy as they choose to be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-ford/people-are-as-happy-as-they-choose-to-be/) [Henry Ford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-ford/) Browse all 3,851 Choose quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You couldn't just pick and choose at will when someone depended on you, or loved you. It wasn't like a light switch, easy to turn on or off. If you were in, you were in. 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