--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I spent so much time telling myself that…" description: "\"I spent so much time telling myself that this wasn't home that I started to believe it,\" she said carefully. \"Belonging has always been tough for me.\" ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/497/sarah-addison-allen-810_believe_i-spent-so-much-time-telling-myself-that_454098.jpg" --- # I spent so much time telling myself that this wasn't home… ![“I spent so much time telling myself that this wasn't home that I started to believe it," she said carefully. "Belonging has always been tough for me." I can be your home," he said quietly. "Belong to me.” quote by Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/497/sarah-addison-allen-810_believe_i-spent-so-much-time-telling-myself-that_454098.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/497/sarah-addison-allen-810_believe_i-spent-so-much-time-telling-myself-that_454098.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/497/sarah-addison-allen-810_believe_i-spent-so-much-time-telling-myself-that_454098.jpg) > “I spent so much time telling myself that this wasn't home that I started to believe it," she said carefully. "Belonging has always been tough for me." I can be your home," he said quietly. "Belong to me.” [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A character’s sense of not belonging leads her to create a personal sanctuary, offering belonging to another. **In simple terms:** Finding home inside yourself lets you welcome others. Key Takeaway Build inner belonging to share with others. Themes belonging identity home Mood introspective empathetic Type literary inspirational When to use this quote - therapy - friendship circles - community building Key Concepts Self‑acceptance mutual support Questions to Reflect On - What does “home” mean to you? - How can you help others feel belonging? A Different Perspective May oversimplify complex trauma. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Belonging](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/belonging/) [Home](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/home/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) ## Related quotes > [“Belong has always been tough for me." "I can be your home," he said quietly. "Belong to me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/belong-has-always-been-tough-for-me-i-can-be-your-home-he-said/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) > [My identity was a big issue when I was a teenager, and I had a lot of questions, like: 'Who am I?' 'Who do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hiam-abbass/my-identity-was-a-big-issue-when-i-was-a-teenager-and-i-had-a-lot-of/) [Hiam Abbass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hiam-abbass/) > [“Nothing belongs to itself anymore. These trees are yours because you once looked at them. These streets are yours because you once traversed them.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kamand-kojouri/nothing-belongs-to-itself-anymore-these-trees-are-yours-because-you/) [Kamand Kojouri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kamand-kojouri/) > [“How could a person not belong in the only place she ever lived?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tracy-l-higley/how-could-a-person-not-belong-in-the-only-place-she-ever-lived/) Tracy L. Higley > [“Before, I wanted to say: "I found love!" But now, I want to say: "I found a person. And he belongs to me and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-joybell-c/before-i-wanted-to-say-i-found-love-but-now-i-want-to-say-i-found-a/) [C. JoyBell C](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-joybell-c/) > [“Of this, I am actually certain. After collecting thousands of stories, I’m willing to call this a fact: A deep sense of love and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/of-this-i-am-actually-certain-after-collecting-thousands-of-stories-i/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“Scatter?” Tate said. “Why? We stay here. Why go anywhere else?” “Because we’ll never know how great this place is until we leave it,”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melina-marchetta/scatter-tate-said-why-we-stay-here-why-go-anywhere-else-because-we-ll/) [Melina Marchetta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melina-marchetta/) > [“Funny thing about belonging to two worlds: Sometimes you feel like you belong in zero.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-henry/funny-thing-about-belonging-to-two-worlds-sometimes-you-feel-like-you/) [Emily Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-henry/) > [“Because if you don't have someone to run out of town once in a while, how are you going to know you yourself belong…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-bachman/because-if-you-don-t-have-someone-to-run-out-of-town-once-in-a-while/) [Richard Bachman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-bachman/) > [I think what hurts the most is that I just really want to belong. I want to stand inside the circle of other people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-think-what-hurts-the-most-is-that-i-just-really-want-to-belong-i/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [She would do anything, anything to belong to his son after a lifetime of belonging to no one at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-destefano/she-would-do-anything-anything-to-belong-to-his-son-after-a-lifetime/) [Lauren DeStefano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-destefano/) > [It's funny," she said, with a strange hitch in her voice, "but I never wanted to be tied to anyone. Never wanted to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larissa-ione/it-s-funny-she-said-with-a-strange-hitch-in-her-voice-but-i-never/) [Larissa Ione](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larissa-ione/) > [“I've always tried to make a home for myself, but I have not felt at home in myself. I've worked hard at being the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/i-ve-always-tried-to-make-a-home-for-myself-but-i-have-not-felt-at/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [Caring what others think about us is normal. The desire to belong is basic to human nature. But in order to feel like you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rhonda-britten/caring-what-others-think-about-us-is-normal-the-desire-to-belong-is/) [Rhonda Britten](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rhonda-britten/) > [“Once we belong thoroughly to ourselves and believe thoroughly in ourselves, true belonging is ours.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/once-we-belong-thoroughly-to-ourselves-and-believe-thoroughly-in/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) ## More by Sarah Addison Allen > [“It feels like he's taken your heart, doesn't it?…Like he's reached in and pulled it out from you. And I bet he smiles like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/it-feels-like-he-s-taken-your-heart-doesn-t-it-like-he-s-reached-in/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) > [“Sitting at the old patio table she’d cleared of leaves, she smiled and leaned back. The stars looked twisted in the limbs of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/sitting-at-the-old-patio-table-she-d-cleared-of-leaves-she-smiled-and/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) > [Nothing is really broke, so it's not like I can fix it. I just have to keep trying to find what I'm looking for.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/nothing-is-really-broke-so-it-s-not-like-i-can-fix-it-i-just-have-to/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) > [Sometimes people who had been together for a long time got to imagining that things used to be better, even when they weren't.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/sometimes-people-who-had-been-together-for-a-long-time-got-to/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) > [“There was such a feeling of peace around them, it was soft and pink and smelled of butter.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/there-was-such-a-feeling-of-peace-around-them-it-was-soft-and-pink/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) > [“The two giant oaks in the front yard looked like flustered ladies caught mid-curtsy, their starched green leaf-dresses swaying in the wind.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/the-two-giant-oaks-in-the-front-yard-looked-like-flustered-ladies/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) > [Men. You can't live with them, you can't shoot them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/men-you-can-t-live-with-them-you-can-t-shoot-them/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) > [“After awhile, all the men wanted his opinion, and all the girls were in love with him. He made certain of it. Because he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/after-awhile-all-the-men-wanted-his-opinion-and-all-the-girls-were-in/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) > [People adapt. People change. You can grow where you're planted.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/people-adapt-people-change-you-can-grow-where-you-re-planted/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) > [“She wasn’t sure exactly when it happened when she had realized that she could only make one of them happy. She only knew that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/she-wasn-t-sure-exactly-when-it-happened-when-she-had-realized-that/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) > [I'll give you one day at a time, Claire. But remember, I'm thousands of days ahead already.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/i-ll-give-you-one-day-at-a-time-claire-but-remember-i-m-thousands-of/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) > [“She opened her eyes slowly and saw that a pale lavender moth had come to a rest on the back of her hand. She…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/she-opened-her-eyes-slowly-and-saw-that-a-pale-lavender-moth-had-come/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) > [How could someone with a life this full feel this empty?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/how-could-someone-with-a-life-this-full-feel-this-empty/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) > [“Her life was monotonous, but it kept her out of trouble.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/her-life-was-monotonous-but-it-kept-her-out-of-trouble/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) > [“She knew him in that way you can only know a person you remember as a child, like if you cracked away the adult…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/she-knew-him-in-that-way-you-can-only-know-a-person-you-remember-as-a/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) [Explore all 362 Sarah Addison Allen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) ## More Believe quotes > [I actually think acting is a form of self-hypnosis. You have to be hyper, hyper aware of what's going on around you. You have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julianne-moore/i-actually-think-acting-is-a-form-of-self-hypnosis-you-have-to-be/) [Julianne Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julianne-moore/) > [Some people still believe you should just fall in line with what's going on - and that's scary. It makes a mockery of freedom…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-robison/some-people-still-believe-you-should-just-fall-in-line-with-what-s/) [Emily Robison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-robison/) > [The truth seems to be that propaganda on its own cannot force its way into unwilling minds; neither can it inculcate something wholly new;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-hoffer/the-truth-seems-to-be-that-propaganda-on-its-own-cannot-force-its-way/) [Eric Hoffer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-hoffer/) > [Resist discouragement by speaking His Word over your future. Keep standing. Keep hoping; keep believing because He is working behind the scenes. He's going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joel-osteen/resist-discouragement-by-speaking-his-word-over-your-future-keep/) [Joel Osteen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joel-osteen/) > [I can't believe that I'm sitting in meetings with Steven Spielberg, Tom Hanks, and Annette Bening. I want to take on that responsibility to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-ross-williams/i-can-t-believe-that-i-m-sitting-in-meetings-with-steven-spielberg/) [Roger Ross Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-ross-williams/) > [There is no such word as item girl in the dictionary. People have created this word and I don't believe that I am an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shefali-zariwala/there-is-no-such-word-as-item-girl-in-the-dictionary-people-have/) [Shefali Zariwala](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shefali-zariwala/) > [I understand that it's the music that keeps me alive... That's my lifeblood. And to give that up for, like, the TV, the cars,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruce-springsteen/i-understand-that-it-s-the-music-that-keeps-me-alive-that-s-my/) [Bruce Springsteen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruce-springsteen/) > [I don't really like too much credit. I know nobody's going to believe this, but I'd rather be able to score goals and nobody…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bradley-wright-phillips/i-don-t-really-like-too-much-credit-i-know-nobody-s-going-to-believe/) [Bradley Wright-Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bradley-wright-phillips/) > [“What I have a problem with is not so much religion or god, but faith. When you say you believe something in your heart…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penn-jillette/what-i-have-a-problem-with-is-not-so-much-religion-or-god-but-faith/) [Penn Jillette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penn-jillette/) > [Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/bush-reiterated-his-stand-to-conservatives-opposing-his-decision-on/) [Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/) > [Never underestimate the power of the human mind to believe what it wants to believe, no matter the conflicting evidence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-herbert/never-underestimate-the-power-of-the-human-mind-to-believe-what-it/) [Brian Herbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-herbert/) > [To believe in love, to be ready to give up anything for it, to be willing to risk your life for it, is the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonardo-dicaprio/to-believe-in-love-to-be-ready-to-give-up-anything-for-it-to-be/) [Leonardo DiCaprio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonardo-dicaprio/) > [That's why I don't generally talk about endorsements because I don't believe we have to tell people who to vote for.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-luther-king-iii/that-s-why-i-don-t-generally-talk-about-endorsements-because-i-don-t/) [Martin Luther King III](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-luther-king-iii/) > [Mankind have been slow to believe that order reigns in the universe-that the world is a cosmos and a chaos.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-a-garfield/mankind-have-been-slow-to-believe-that-order-reigns-in-the-universe/) [James A. Garfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-a-garfield/) > [We instantly believe everything we think. Isn't that insane? It's good for us to explore the depravity of our minds, so we know we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/krishna-das/we-instantly-believe-everything-we-think-isn-t-that-insane-it-s-good/) [Krishna Das](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/krishna-das/) Browse all 47,704 Believe quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I spent so much time telling myself that this wasn't home that I started to believe it,\" she said carefully. \"Belonging has always been tough for me.\" I can be your home,\" he said quietly. \"Belong to me.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Sarah Addison Allen" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/i-spent-so-much-time-telling-myself-that-this-wasn-t-home-that-i/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Believe" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/i-spent-so-much-time-telling-myself-that-this-wasn-t-home-that-i/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/497/sarah-addison-allen-810_believe_i-spent-so-much-time-telling-myself-that_454098.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/497/sarah-addison-allen-810_believe_i-spent-so-much-time-telling-myself-that_454098.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/497/sarah-addison-allen-810_believe_i-spent-so-much-time-telling-myself-that_454098.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I spent so much time telling myself that this wasn't home that I started to believe it,\" she said carefully…” — Sarah Addison Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Sarah Addison Allen", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "I spent so much time telling...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/i-spent-so-much-time-telling-myself-that-this-wasn-t-home-that-i/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/i-spent-so-much-time-telling-myself-that-this-wasn-t-home-that-i/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```