---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: But she stopped herself. That wouldn't…"
description: "\"“But she stopped herself. That wouldn't make it right. You didn't forgive because it was the only choice you thought you had. That didn't make it forgi..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07a/sarah-addison-allen-810_cheating_but-she-stopped-herself-that-wouldn-t-ma_979030.png"
---

#  But she stopped herself. That wouldn't make it right. You…

![“But she stopped herself. That wouldn't make it right. You didn't forgive because it was the only choice you thought you had. That didn't make it forgiveness, that made it desperation. She'd always been too desperate about Jake. Always.” quote by Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07a/sarah-addison-allen-810_cheating_but-she-stopped-herself-that-wouldn-t-ma_979030.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07a/sarah-addison-allen-810_cheating_but-she-stopped-herself-that-wouldn-t-ma_979030.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07a/sarah-addison-allen-810_cheating_but-she-stopped-herself-that-wouldn-t-ma_979030.png)

> ““But she stopped herself. That wouldn't make it right. You didn't forgive because it was the only choice you thought you had. That didn't make it forgiveness, that made it desperation. She'd always been too desperate about Jake. Always.””

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The passage reflects on misguided forgiveness, showing that choosing the easy path can lead to desperation rather than true reconciliation.

**In simple terms:** Forgiveness must be genuine, not just a convenient choice.

Key Takeaway

Seek authentic resolution, not just convenience.

Themes

forgiveness desperation choice relationship dynamics

Mood

introspective thoughtful

Type

philosophical emotional

When to use this quote

- Personal relationships
- counseling sessions
- self‑reflection journals

Key Concepts

Moral psychology emotional honesty conflict resolution

Questions to Reflect On

- Are you forgiving for peace or out of desperation?
- What does true forgiveness require?

A Different Perspective

Forgiveness can be complicated by personal motives and fear.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Cheating](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cheating/) [Desperate Jake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desperate-jake-1930414/) [Desperation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desperation/) [Didn Forgive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/didn-forgive-1503694/) [Forgive Choice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgive-choice-1930412/) [Forgiveness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiveness/) [Forgiveness Desperation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiveness-desperation-1930411/) [Make Forgiveness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/make-forgiveness-1930416/)

## Related quotes

> [“I have a childlike conviction that the sufferings will be healed and smoothed over, that the whole offensive comedy of human contradiction will disappear…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fyodor-dostoyevsky/i-have-a-childlike-conviction-that-the-sufferings-will-be-healed-and/)

[Fyodor Dostoyevsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fyodor-dostoyevsky/)

> [“So all I have is the knowledge that I saw! That I saw without being afraid and without turning away, and that I didn’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-smiley/so-all-i-have-is-the-knowledge-that-i-saw-that-i-saw-without-being/)

[Jane Smiley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-smiley/)

> [“Maybe I let other people influence how I saw Jesus. Maybe since they didn't forgive me, I thought He wouldn't either.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-g-stevens/maybe-i-let-other-people-influence-how-i-saw-jesus-maybe-since-they/)

[Amanda G. Stevens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-g-stevens/)

> [But people didn't forgive you for doing what felt right-that was the last thing they forgave you for.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chad-harbach/but-people-didn-t-forgive-you-for-doing-what-felt-right-that-was-the/)

[Chad Harbach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chad-harbach/)

> [Just show him that I didn't need his apology, I guess. Show him that I was okay. Better than okay. I was happy, in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kelley-armstrong/just-show-him-that-i-didn-t-need-his-apology-i-guess-show-him-that-i/)

[Kelley Armstrong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kelley-armstrong/)

> [For we did makeup. But we didn't forgive each other. And we didn't take steps. And it got to be too late and we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-munro/for-we-did-makeup-but-we-didn-t-forgive-each-other-and-we-didn-t-take/)

[Alice Munro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-munro/)

> [If I didn't forgive the people who took me into the barracks and beat me unconscious over a period of days during the period…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gerry-adams/if-i-didn-t-forgive-the-people-who-took-me-into-the-barracks-and-beat/)

[Gerry Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gerry-adams/)

> [She'd assumed she'd be married and have kids by this age, that she would be grooming her own daughter for this, as her friends…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/she-d-assumed-she-d-be-married-and-have-kids-by-this-age-that-she/)

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

> [“He could make her forget that it was desperation. He could make her forget everything. And this small room couldn't contain what they had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/he-could-make-her-forget-that-it-was-desperation-he-could-make-her/)

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

> [The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/the-mass-of-men-lead-lives-of-quiet-desperation-what-is-called/)

[Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/)

> [In exams, we look up for inspiration, down for desperation, left and right for information.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nishan-panwar/in-exams-we-look-up-for-inspiration-down-for-desperation-left-and/)

[Nishan Panwar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nishan-panwar/)

> [“Who among us does not move through life with the hidden sense, maybe even quiet desperation, that we are destined for more?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-bregman/who-among-us-does-not-move-through-life-with-the-hidden-sense-maybe/)

[Peter Bregman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-bregman/)

> [Lol, the thirst on SQ is serious.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maher/lol-the-thirst-on-sq-is-serious/)

[Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maher/)

> [The thing about living alone is that it gives you a lot of time to think. You don't necessarily reach any conclusions, because wisdom…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/the-thing-about-living-alone-is-that-it-gives-you-a-lot-of-time-to/)

[Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/)

> [“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-was-ambitious-and-desperate-to-direct-my-first-film-so-i/)

[Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/)

## More by Sarah Addison Allen

> [“It feels like he's taken your heart, doesn't it?…Like he's reached in and pulled it out from you. And I bet he smiles like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/it-feels-like-he-s-taken-your-heart-doesn-t-it-like-he-s-reached-in/)

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

> [“Sitting at the old patio table she’d cleared of leaves, she smiled and leaned back. The stars looked twisted in the limbs of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/sitting-at-the-old-patio-table-she-d-cleared-of-leaves-she-smiled-and/)

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

> [Nothing is really broke, so it's not like I can fix it. I just have to keep trying to find what I'm looking for.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/nothing-is-really-broke-so-it-s-not-like-i-can-fix-it-i-just-have-to/)

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

> [Sometimes people who had been together for a long time got to imagining that things used to be better, even when they weren't.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/sometimes-people-who-had-been-together-for-a-long-time-got-to/)

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

> [“There was such a feeling of peace around them, it was soft and pink and smelled of butter.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/there-was-such-a-feeling-of-peace-around-them-it-was-soft-and-pink/)

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

> [“The two giant oaks in the front yard looked like flustered ladies caught mid-curtsy, their starched green leaf-dresses swaying in the wind.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/the-two-giant-oaks-in-the-front-yard-looked-like-flustered-ladies/)

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

> [Men. You can't live with them, you can't shoot them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/men-you-can-t-live-with-them-you-can-t-shoot-them/)

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

> [“After awhile, all the men wanted his opinion, and all the girls were in love with him. He made certain of it. Because he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/after-awhile-all-the-men-wanted-his-opinion-and-all-the-girls-were-in/)

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

> [People adapt. People change. You can grow where you're planted.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/people-adapt-people-change-you-can-grow-where-you-re-planted/)

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

> [“She wasn’t sure exactly when it happened when she had realized that she could only make one of them happy. She only knew that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/she-wasn-t-sure-exactly-when-it-happened-when-she-had-realized-that/)

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

> [I'll give you one day at a time, Claire. But remember, I'm thousands of days ahead already.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/i-ll-give-you-one-day-at-a-time-claire-but-remember-i-m-thousands-of/)

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

> [“She opened her eyes slowly and saw that a pale lavender moth had come to a rest on the back of her hand. She…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/she-opened-her-eyes-slowly-and-saw-that-a-pale-lavender-moth-had-come/)

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

> [How could someone with a life this full feel this empty?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/how-could-someone-with-a-life-this-full-feel-this-empty/)

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

> [“Her life was monotonous, but it kept her out of trouble.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/her-life-was-monotonous-but-it-kept-her-out-of-trouble/)

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

> [“She knew him in that way you can only know a person you remember as a child, like if you cracked away the adult…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/she-knew-him-in-that-way-you-can-only-know-a-person-you-remember-as-a/)

[Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

[Explore all 362 Sarah Addison Allen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/)

## More Cheating quotes

> [Where I grew up, learning was a collective activity. But when I got to school and tried to share learning with other students that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-giroux/where-i-grew-up-learning-was-a-collective-activity-but-when-i-got-to/)

[Henry Giroux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-giroux/)

> [Being faithful shouldn't be challenging, cheating should. Too bad its the other way around though.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/being-faithful-shouldn-t-be-challenging-cheating-should-too-bad-its/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [If you leave someone for another person, don't be surprised if that person leaves you for someone else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-you-leave-someone-for-another-person-don-t-be-surprised-if-that/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [The one thing I absolutely hate about social media are the people who abuse it. Whenever I see a person who constantly posts negative…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jazmin-garcia/the-one-thing-i-absolutely-hate-about-social-media-are-the-people-who/)

[Jazmin Garcia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jazmin-garcia/)

> [They have no right to complain! If women were cool with knowing their man is cheating on them then they have no right to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-williams/they-have-no-right-to-complain-if-women-were-cool-with-knowing-their/)

[Eric Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-williams/)

> [Sometimes it's better to shut up and leave me alone then pester me constantly because I am a human and I have feelings too…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tamika-leeigh/sometimes-it-s-better-to-shut-up-and-leave-me-alone-then-pester-me/)

[Tamika-leeigh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tamika-leeigh/)

> [I dont play when it comes to being unfaithful. You cheat, you get no second chance & you lost the best thing that ever…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-dont-play-when-it-comes-to-being-unfaithful-you-cheat-you-get-no/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [It's not the cheating. It's the hunger...The hunger for an alternative, and the refusal to accept a life of unhappiness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-winslet/it-s-not-the-cheating-it-s-the-hunger-the-hunger-for-an-alternative/)

[Kate Winslet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-winslet/)

> [“To keep myself from harming or calling N and to stave off the rage and despair, I focus on my extraordinary son, drink midrange…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzanne-finnamore/to-keep-myself-from-harming-or-calling-n-and-to-stave-off-the-rage/)

[Suzanne Finnamore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzanne-finnamore/)

> [Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/here-is-your-government-at-work-a-congressman-from-colorado-said-he/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [Cheaters are like fruit flies. They taste each fruit from time to time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teejay-david/cheaters-are-like-fruit-flies-they-taste-each-fruit-from-time-to-time/)

[Teejay David](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teejay-david/)

> [Cheating is like eating fast food. You do it, you enjoy it, and then you end up feeling like shit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/cheating-is-like-eating-fast-food-you-do-it-you-enjoy-it-and-then-you/)

[Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/)

> [One of two things when the guy you're dating isn't really ready to commit. He's an a\*\*hole and he's cheating on you; bottom line…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-catherwood/one-of-two-things-when-the-guy-you-re-dating-isn-t-really-ready-to/)

[Michael Catherwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-catherwood/)

> [If you can't count, they can cheat you. If you can't read, they can beat you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toni-morrison/if-you-can-t-count-they-can-cheat-you-if-you-can-t-read-they-can-beat/)

[Toni Morrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toni-morrison/)

> [“For me, it´s sloth," I say. "Hedonistic sloth and escapism.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzanne-finnamore/for-me-it-s-sloth-i-say-hedonistic-sloth-and-escapism/)

[Suzanne Finnamore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzanne-finnamore/)

[Browse all 1,488 Cheating quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cheating/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“But she stopped herself. That wouldn't make it right. You didn't forgive because it was the only choice you thought you had. That didn't make it forgiveness, that made it desperation. She'd always been too desperate about Jake. Always.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Sarah Addison Allen"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/but-she-stopped-herself-that-wouldn-t-make-it-right-you-didn-t/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Cheating"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/but-she-stopped-herself-that-wouldn-t-make-it-right-you-didn-t/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07a/sarah-addison-allen-810_cheating_but-she-stopped-herself-that-wouldn-t-ma_979030.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07a/sarah-addison-allen-810_cheating_but-she-stopped-herself-that-wouldn-t-ma_979030.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07a/sarah-addison-allen-810_cheating_but-she-stopped-herself-that-wouldn-t-ma_979030.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“But she stopped herself. That wouldn't make it right. You didn't forgive because it was the only choice you…” — Sarah Addison Allen",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Sarah Addison Allen",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“But she stopped herself. That wouldn't...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/but-she-stopped-herself-that-wouldn-t-make-it-right-you-didn-t/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/but-she-stopped-herself-that-wouldn-t-make-it-right-you-didn-t/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```