---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Children would struggle desperately to…"
description: "\"“Children would struggle desperately to feel love for their parents. Rather than hate a parent, in fact, they'd choose to hate themselves. Love and vio..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/845/ryu-murakami-8219_abuse_children-would-struggle-desperately-to-f_2908500.jpg"
---

#  Children would struggle desperately to feel love for their…

![“Children would struggle desperately to feel love for their parents. Rather than hate a parent, in fact, they'd choose to hate themselves. Love and violence became so intertwined for them that when they grew up and got into relationships, only hysteria could set their hearts at ease.” quote by Ryū Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/845/ryu-murakami-8219_abuse_children-would-struggle-desperately-to-f_2908500.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/845/ryu-murakami-8219_abuse_children-would-struggle-desperately-to-f_2908500.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/845/ryu-murakami-8219_abuse_children-would-struggle-desperately-to-f_2908500.jpg)

> ““Children would struggle desperately to feel love for their parents. Rather than hate a parent, in fact, they'd choose to hate themselves. Love and violence became so intertwined for them that when they grew up and got into relationships, only hysteria could set their hearts at ease.””

[Ryū Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Children deprived of love may internalize self‑hate, leading to violent, unstable adult relationships.

**In simple terms:** Lack of love leads to self‑hate and violent relationships.

Key Takeaway

Heal early emotional wounds to break cycles of violence.

Themes

family trauma self‑hate violence psychological development relationship patterns

Mood

tragic reflective

Type

psychological educational

When to use this quote

- therapy
- parenting programs
- school counseling
- support groups

Key Concepts

attachment theory intergenerational trauma emotional neglect

Questions to Reflect On

- How can early interventions prevent self‑hate?
- What role does societal support play in healing?

A Different Perspective

The quote may overgeneralize complex family dynamics.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Abuse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abuse/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate/) [Hate Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate-love/) [Hate Parent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate-parent-4175782/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love Parents](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-parents/) [Love Violence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-violence-332886/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Parents Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parents-hate-875533/)

## Related quotes

> [You are the best thing in my life, And I'm the best thing in your life, we love each other but are parents, hate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rea-leigh-white/you-are-the-best-thing-in-my-life-and-i-m-the-best-thing-in-your-life/)

[Rea -leigh White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rea-leigh-white/)

> [If you love with violence and you hate with violence, there's nothing that can be questioned. People say, 'Oh, you'd better work through your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlie-sheen/if-you-love-with-violence-and-you-hate-with-violence-there-s-nothing/)

[Charlie Sheen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlie-sheen/)

> [“Morality is violence. An invisible violence at first. Love is a supreme violence, hidden deep in the darkness of our atoms. When a stream…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/etel-adnan/morality-is-violence-an-invisible-violence-at-first-love-is-a-supreme/)

[Etel Adnan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/etel-adnan/)

> [We live in a world where we have to hide to make love, while violence is practiced in broad daylight.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-lennon/we-live-in-a-world-where-we-have-to-hide-to-make-love-while-violence/)

[John Lennon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-lennon/)

> [“It’s easy to fight,” Jasper said sternly. And then his tone softened again. “What’s not easy , and what’s necessary, is to love. If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christa-avampato/it-s-easy-to-fight-jasper-said-sternly-and-then-his-tone-softened/)

[Christa Avampato](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christa-avampato/)

> [We are now living in a world where we've got to hide to love. But violence, evil and hatred are practice publicly. We live…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sessah-odai-sadick/we-are-now-living-in-a-world-where-we-ve-got-to-hide-to-love-but/)

[Sessah-Odai Sadick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sessah-odai-sadick/)

> [Love is also a violence, and cannot be undone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simon-van-booy/love-is-also-a-violence-and-cannot-be-undone/)

[Simon Van Booy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simon-van-booy/)

> [The more I tour the world, the more I see that people are just like me. They love violence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jorge-masvidal/the-more-i-tour-the-world-the-more-i-see-that-people-are-just-like-me/)

[Jorge Masvidal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jorge-masvidal/)

> [“Violence. My body has learned to love violence, and my mind imagines terrible things”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/d-s-wrights/violence-my-body-has-learned-to-love-violence-and-my-mind-imagines/)

[D.S. Wrights](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/d-s-wrights/)

> [I just love violence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-toney/i-just-love-violence/)

[James Toney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-toney/)

> [Few people love with the violence they hate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/norm-macdonald/few-people-love-with-the-violence-they-hate/)

[Norm MacDonald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/norm-macdonald/)

> [Love and violence-not to conquer one with the other but to live with both, that's what I've learned. Each pulling me a different way.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-johnson/love-and-violence-not-to-conquer-one-with-the-other-but-to-live-with/)

[Denis Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-johnson/)

> [Without love, violence will change the world; it will change it into a more violent one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/without-love-violence-will-change-the-world-it-will-change-it-into-a/)

[William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

> [If you love with violence and you hate with violence there is nothing that can be questioned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlie-sheen/if-you-love-with-violence-and-you-hate-with-violence-there-is-nothing/)

[Charlie Sheen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlie-sheen/)

> [The love of violence is an aspect of our humanity. Even the weak wish to be strong primarily so they can wield the whip.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-simmons/the-love-of-violence-is-an-aspect-of-our-humanity-even-the-weak-wish/)

[Dan Simmons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-simmons/)

## More by Ryū Murakami

> [“People who love horror films are people with boring lives... when a really scary movie is over, you're reassured to see that you're still…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/people-who-love-horror-films-are-people-with-boring-lives-when-a/)

[Ryu Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

> [“Even when you're talking to them face to face you have this feeling of not connecting, as if the words just pass through them.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/even-when-you-re-talking-to-them-face-to-face-you-have-this-feeling/)

[Ryū Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

> [“Of course, I'm not sure there is such a thing as a real self. You could ransack your innards looking for the real you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/of-course-i-m-not-sure-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-real-self-you-could/)

[Ryū Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

> [“The feeling that the world was at my feet and the feeling that I alone was cut off from the world, the sense of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/the-feeling-that-the-world-was-at-my-feet-and-the-feeling-that-i/)

[Ryū Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

> [“Everybody wants to talk about themselves, and everybody wants to hear everybody else's story, so we take turns playing reporter and celebrity.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/everybody-wants-to-talk-about-themselves-and-everybody-wants-to-hear/)

[Ryu Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

> [“Only time can heal wounds as deep as that—a lot of time—and all you can really do is place yourself in its hands and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/only-time-can-heal-wounds-as-deep-as-that-a-lot-of-time-and-all-you/)

[Ryū Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

> [“What these young men feared and hated more than anything else was being spoken to by people they hadn't met, or having to explain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/what-these-young-men-feared-and-hated-more-than-anything-else-was/)

[Ryū Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

> [“There in that pool stained with green blood, he had learned two things: one was that all the pain stopped when you stopped fighting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/there-in-that-pool-stained-with-green-blood-he-had-learned-two-things/)

[Ryū Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

> [“The song was the late Ishihara Yujiro’s “Rusty Knife,” and Sakaguchi’s singing was so bad that it gave the lyric a strange new pathos…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/the-song-was-the-late-ishihara-yujiro-s-rusty-knife-and-sakaguchi-s/)

[Ryū Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

> [“But for all we’ve lost, hope is in fact one thing we Japanese have regained. The great earthquake and tsunami have robbed us of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/but-for-all-we-ve-lost-hope-is-in-fact-one-thing-we-japanese-have/)

[Ryū Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

> [“Yeah, he'd said, maybe it's just my idea, but really it always hurts, the times it don't hurt is when we just forget, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/yeah-he-d-said-maybe-it-s-just-my-idea-but-really-it-always-hurts-the/)

[Ryū Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

> [“A person without self-confidence is incapable of being independent, and people who are dependent on their partners always create unhappiness. Always.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/a-person-without-self-confidence-is-incapable-of-being-independent/)

[Ryū Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

> [“We sat side by side on the swings. The creaking sound they made seemed sexier to me than a Jimi Hendrix guitar solo.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/we-sat-side-by-side-on-the-swings-the-creaking-sound-they-made-seemed/)

[Ryū Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

> [“Who hasn't wanted to die at one time or another?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/who-hasn-t-wanted-to-die-at-one-time-or-another/)

[Ryū Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

> [“Yeah. He wants to be a…what do you call those guys?” “A sommelier?” “Right. Said he wanted to see your collection.” “At fifteen he’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/yeah-he-wants-to-be-a-what-do-you-call-those-guys-a-sommelier-right/)

[Ryū Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

[Explore all 82 Ryū Murakami quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

## More Abuse quotes

> [I wrote when I was a young teen, but I didn't put an eye on the available markets until I was seventeen. The next…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-reed/i-wrote-when-i-was-a-young-teen-but-i-didn-t-put-an-eye-on-the/)

[Robert Reed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-reed/)

> [Amongst the financial Twitterati, the term 'muppets' has come to describe any client used and abused by some financial predator. I've adopted the term…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barry-ritholtz/amongst-the-financial-twitterati-the-term-muppets-has-come-to/)

[Barry Ritholtz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barry-ritholtz/)

> [Being nice is okay,but don't allow anybody to abuse it...try to fight for your self when you know your on the right way...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/being-nice-is-okay-but-don-t-allow-anybody-to-abuse-it-try-to-fight/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“Build a bridge over shame by teaching kids about sexual abuse. Give them a chance to run to us should they encounter it. Be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-byers-ruch/build-a-bridge-over-shame-by-teaching-kids-about-sexual-abuse-give/)

[Carolyn Byers Ruch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-byers-ruch/)

> [It is sure that those are most desirous of honour or glory who cry out loudest of its abuse and the vanity of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/baruch-spinoza/it-is-sure-that-those-are-most-desirous-of-honour-or-glory-who-cry/)

[Baruch Spinoza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/baruch-spinoza/)

> [“The sole reason I stand to open it up now is that lots of people who are in pain just like I was, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-dsouza/the-sole-reason-i-stand-to-open-it-up-now-is-that-lots-of-people-who/)

[Patricia Dsouza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-dsouza/)

> [Democracy must be built through open societies that share information. When there is information, there is enlightenment. When there is debate, there are solutions.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/atifete-jahjaga/democracy-must-be-built-through-open-societies-that-share-information/)

[Atifete Jahjaga](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/atifete-jahjaga/)

> [I have a theory that all abuse, no matter what kind of abuse it is, is foremost an assault on the mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-westover/i-have-a-theory-that-all-abuse-no-matter-what-kind-of-abuse-it-is-is/)

[Tara Westover](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-westover/)

> [“Blaming therapy, social work and other caring professions for the confabulation of testimony of 'satanic ritual abuse' legitimated a programme of political and social…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-salter/blaming-therapy-social-work-and-other-caring-professions-for-the/)

[Michael Salter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-salter/)

> [Finally, the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-cumming/finally-the-scariest-thing-about-abuse-of-any-shape-or-form-is-in-my/)

[Alan Cumming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-cumming/)

> [“Research on organised abuse emphasises the diversity of organised abuse cases, and the ways in which serious forms of child maltreatment cluster in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-salter/research-on-organised-abuse-emphasises-the-diversity-of-organised/)

[Michael Salter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-salter/)

> [“Stand up for yourself. Never give any one permission to abuse you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lailah-gifty-akita/stand-up-for-yourself-never-give-any-one-permission-to-abuse-you/)

[Lailah Gifty Akita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lailah-gifty-akita/)

> [All governments should be pressured to correct their abuses of human rights.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-stallman/all-governments-should-be-pressured-to-correct-their-abuses-of-human/)

[Richard Stallman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-stallman/)

> [“Words are free. It does not mean you should abuse them. Be kind with them. They will mirror your actions.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hadinet-tekie/words-are-free-it-does-not-mean-you-should-abuse-them-be-kind-with/)

[Hadinet Tekie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hadinet-tekie/)

> [My illness is one often characterized by dramatic overspending - in my case through frenzied shopping sprees, credit card abuse, excessive hoarding of unnecessary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-behrman/my-illness-is-one-often-characterized-by-dramatic-overspending-in-my/)

[Andy Behrman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-behrman/)

[Browse all 3,113 Abuse quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abuse/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“Children would struggle desperately to feel love for their parents. Rather than hate a parent, in fact, they'd choose to hate themselves. Love and violence became so intertwined for them that when they grew up and got into relationships, only hysteria could set their hearts at ease.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Ryū Murakami"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/children-would-struggle-desperately-to-feel-love-for-their-parents/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Abuse"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/children-would-struggle-desperately-to-feel-love-for-their-parents/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/845/ryu-murakami-8219_abuse_children-would-struggle-desperately-to-f_2908500.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/845/ryu-murakami-8219_abuse_children-would-struggle-desperately-to-f_2908500.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/845/ryu-murakami-8219_abuse_children-would-struggle-desperately-to-f_2908500.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Children would struggle desperately to feel love for their parents. Rather than hate a parent, in fact…” — Ryū Murakami",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Ryū Murakami",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“Children would struggle desperately to feel...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/children-would-struggle-desperately-to-feel-love-for-their-parents/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/children-would-struggle-desperately-to-feel-love-for-their-parents/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
