---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: After that [father's death] I never cried…"
description: "\"After that [father's death] I never cried with any real conviction, nor expected much of anyone's God except indifference, nor loved deeply without fea..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09c/russell-baker-2930_age_after-that-father-s-death-i-never-cried_1710179.png"
---

#  After that \[father's death\] I never cried with any real…

![“After that &#91;father's death&#93; I never cried with any real conviction, nor expected much of anyone's God except indifference, nor loved deeply without fear that it would cost me dearly in pain. At the age of five I had become a skeptic and began to sense that any happiness that came my way might be…” quote by Russell Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09c/russell-baker-2930_age_after-that-father-s-death-i-never-cried_1710179.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09c/russell-baker-2930_age_after-that-father-s-death-i-never-cried_1710179.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09c/russell-baker-2930_age_after-that-father-s-death-i-never-cried_1710179.png)

> “After that \[father's death\] I never cried with any real conviction, nor expected much of anyone's God except indifference, nor loved deeply without fear that it would cost me dearly in pain. At the age of five I had become a skeptic and began to sense that any happiness that came my way might be the prelude to some grim cosmic joke.”

[Russell Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The loss of a parent can shatter faith and intensify fear of love, leading to deep skepticism and emotional guardedness.

**In simple terms:** Father’s death caused doubt and guarded love.

Key Takeaway

Acknowledge grief, seek trust.

Themes

loss faith fear skepticism

Mood

somber reflective

Type

literary psychological

When to use this quote

- therapy
- grief counseling
- spiritual exploration
- artistic expression

Key Concepts

existential crisis emotional resilience

Questions to Reflect On

- How does grief shape your belief system?
- Can vulnerability coexist with self‑protection?

A Different Perspective

Skepticism may block healing.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Age](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/age/) [Conviction](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conviction/) [Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) [Faith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/faith/) [Father](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/father/) [Father'S Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/father-s-death/) [Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) [Indifference](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/indifference/) [Jokes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/jokes/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [Skeptic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/skeptic/)

## Related quotes

> [“It seems to me, that you people spend a great deal of time talking about honour, but strip away the high sounding words and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-gemmell/it-seems-to-me-that-you-people-spend-a-great-deal-of-time-talking/)

[David Gemmell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-gemmell/)

> [It's hard for anyone to say that they chose to put their parent in a home rather than give up a large part of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arlene-phillips/it-s-hard-for-anyone-to-say-that-they-chose-to-put-their-parent-in-a/)

[Arlene Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arlene-phillips/)

> [“Two years ago," she says, "I was afraid of spiders, suffocation, walls that inch slowly inward and trap you between them,getting thrown out of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/two-years-ago-she-says-i-was-afraid-of-spiders-suffocation-walls-that/)

[Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/)

> [My father's death when I was eighteen and his struggles as a Jewish immigrant provided me with the raw material, but for a long…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-schultz/my-father-s-death-when-i-was-eighteen-and-his-struggles-as-a-jewish/)

[Philip Schultz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-schultz/)

> [I began writing 'The Cold Song' in the months following my father's death, when I felt this sense of loss, disappearance, of being right…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linn-ullmann/i-began-writing-the-cold-song-in-the-months-following-my-father-s/)

Linn Ullmann

> [“Trust me, Mr. Maxwell.” No more Christian name familiarity for him! “Greyden Kane has never had to ‘overwhelm’ anyone.” He was overwhelming enough on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathryn-smith/trust-me-mr-maxwell-no-more-christian-name-familiarity-for-him/)

[Kathryn Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathryn-smith/)

> [“Emma dropped the letter. The first thing she felt was a sinking in her stomach and a trembling in her knees; then, a sense…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jorge-luis-borges/emma-dropped-the-letter-the-first-thing-she-felt-was-a-sinking-in-her/)

[Jorge Luis Borges](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jorge-luis-borges/)

> [“Now I know grief is a whetstone that sharpens all your love, all your happiest memories, into blades that tear you apart from within.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/claudia-gray/now-i-know-grief-is-a-whetstone-that-sharpens-all-your-love-all-your/)

[Claudia Gray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/claudia-gray/)

> [“Words are Hamlet's constant companions, his weapons, and his defenses. ... And yet, words also serve as Hamlet's prison. He analyzes and examines every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carla-lynn-stockton/words-are-hamlet-s-constant-companions-his-weapons-and-his-defenses/)

Carla Lynn Stockton

> [She said that her father's death had been the hardest thing in her life. "We are all children until our fathers die.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-bank/she-said-that-her-father-s-death-had-been-the-hardest-thing-in-her/)

[Melissa Bank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-bank/)

> [I'm not interested in using my father's death as some touch point for why I've become an actor - it's grossly opportunistic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cate-blanchett/i-m-not-interested-in-using-my-father-s-death-as-some-touch-point-for/)

[Cate Blanchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cate-blanchett/)

> [After my father's death, nothing could touch me any more.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elie-wiesel/after-my-father-s-death-nothing-could-touch-me-any-more/)

[Elie Wiesel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elie-wiesel/)

> [My father's death took me to a place I had never been and a place I had never left. In his absence, I've had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gustavo-perez-firmat/my-father-s-death-took-me-to-a-place-i-had-never-been-and-a-place-i/)

[Gustavo Perez Firmat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gustavo-perez-firmat/)

> [ \[On her father's death:\] Gone was the person who had known me better than anyone else on earth and who had loved and admired… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-brody/on-her-father-s-death-gone-was-the-person-who-had-known-me-better/)

[Jane Brody](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-brody/)

> [I had hated these ponies for the part they played in my father's death but now I realized the notion was fanciful, that it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-portis/i-had-hated-these-ponies-for-the-part-they-played-in-my-father-s/)

[Charles Portis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-portis/)

## More by Russell Baker

> [Unpleasant questions are being raised about Mother's Day. Is this day necessary? . . . Isn't it bad public policy? . . . No…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/unpleasant-questions-are-being-raised-about-mother-s-day-is-this-day/)

[Russell Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/)

> [The people who are always hankering loudest for some golden yesteryear usually drive new cars.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/the-people-who-are-always-hankering-loudest-for-some-golden/)

[Russell Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/)

> [In writing, punctuation plays the role of body language. It helps readers hear you the way you want to be heard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/in-writing-punctuation-plays-the-role-of-body-language-it-helps/)

[Russell Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/)

> [Kingsley Amis was one of a trio of brilliant comic novelists who made English literature sparkle in the twentieth century.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/kingsley-amis-was-one-of-a-trio-of-brilliant-comic-novelists-who-made/)

[Russell Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/)

> [Life seemed to be an educator's practical joke in which you spent the first half learning and the second half learning that everything you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/life-seemed-to-be-an-educator-s-practical-joke-in-which-you-spent-the/)

[Russell Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/)

> [I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/i-gave-up-on-new-poetry-myself-30-years-ago-when-most-of-it-began-to/)

[Russell Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/)

> [After two years studying what rewrite men did with the facts I phoned them, I knew that journalism was essentially a task of stringing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/after-two-years-studying-what-rewrite-men-did-with-the-facts-i-phoned/)

[Russell Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/)

> [American foreign policy had still not recovered from its victory over communism when George W. Bush and Condoleezza Rice took over at the White…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/american-foreign-policy-had-still-not-recovered-from-its-victory-over/)

[Russell Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/)

> [Anything that isn't opposed by about 40 percent of humanity is either an evil business or so unimportant that it simply doesn't matter.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/anything-that-isn-t-opposed-by-about-40-percent-of-humanity-is-either/)

[Russell Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/)

> [When you're the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope diamond.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/when-you-re-the-only-pea-in-the-pod-your-parents-are-likely-to-get/)

[Russell Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/)

> [Serious journalism need not be solemn.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/serious-journalism-need-not-be-solemn/)

[Russell Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/)

> [Ireland really is my problem; the breaking point of the huge suppuration which all British and all European society now is](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/ireland-really-is-my-problem-the-breaking-point-of-the-huge/)

[Russell Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/)

> [Journalism talk is part of the nonstop background noise of American life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/journalism-talk-is-part-of-the-nonstop-background-noise-of-american/)

[Russell Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/)

> [An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/an-educated-person-is-one-who-has-learned-that-information-almost/)

[Russell Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/)

> [The best discussion of trouble in boardroom and business office is found in newspapers' own financial pages and speeches by journalists in management jobs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/the-best-discussion-of-trouble-in-boardroom-and-business-office-is/)

[Russell Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/)

[Explore all 145 Russell Baker quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/)

## More Age quotes

> [I need a bath." He chuckled. "You smell of smoke, as do I." The duke turned, leaning heavily on his cane. "Jameson, open the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-hawkins/i-need-a-bath-he-chuckled-you-smell-of-smoke-as-do-i-the-duke-turned/)

[Karen Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-hawkins/)

> [While we've youth in our hearts, we can never grow old.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-wendell-holmes-jr/while-we-ve-youth-in-our-hearts-we-can-never-grow-old/)

[Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-wendell-holmes-jr/)

> [It's easier to change a law than an age-old mentality. Deep down, many prejudices, many hostilities, many fears persist. But if we take a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dacia-maraini/it-s-easier-to-change-a-law-than-an-age-old-mentality-deep-down-many/)

[Dacia Maraini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dacia-maraini/)

> [When I first started writing, when I was 15, I would go to work with people and they would tell me my lyrics were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sabrina-claudio/when-i-first-started-writing-when-i-was-15-i-would-go-to-work-with/)

[Sabrina Claudio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sabrina-claudio/)

> [Real people speak in my books about the main events of the age, such as the war, the Chernobyl disaster, and the downfall of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/svetlana-alexievich/real-people-speak-in-my-books-about-the-main-events-of-the-age-such/)

[Svetlana Alexievich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/svetlana-alexievich/)

> [As a child I was very involved with sports and I knew at age 9 that I wanted to be an Olympic champion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marion-jones/as-a-child-i-was-very-involved-with-sports-and-i-knew-at-age-9-that-i/)

[Marion Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marion-jones/)

> [If there is any period one would desire to be born in, is it not the age of Revolution; when the old and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/if-there-is-any-period-one-would-desire-to-be-born-in-is-it-not-the/)

[Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/)

> [By making conscious choices in our behavior and where we focus our attention, we can transform our experience of our body, decrease our biological…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/by-making-conscious-choices-in-our-behavior-and-where-we-focus-our/)

[Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/)

> [I am just enjoying the dream of being Milan coach at the age of 40.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gennaro-gattuso/i-am-just-enjoying-the-dream-of-being-milan-coach-at-the-age-of-40/)

[Gennaro Gattuso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gennaro-gattuso/)

> [Age is an accumulation of life and loss. Adulthood is a series of lines crossed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/age-is-an-accumulation-of-life-and-loss-adulthood-is-a-series-of/)

[Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/)

> [I calculated that if I live up to the age of 80, then I end up using 450 toothbrushes in my life. All that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dia-mirza/i-calculated-that-if-i-live-up-to-the-age-of-80-then-i-end-up-using/)

[Dia Mirza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dia-mirza/)

> [Why is wisdom so fair? Why is beauty so wise? Because all else is temporary, while beauty and wisdom are the only real and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vera-nazarian/why-is-wisdom-so-fair-why-is-beauty-so-wise-because-all-else-is/)

[Vera Nazarian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vera-nazarian/)

> [It was only when I went to acting school that I was like, "You are absolutely such a pigheaded freak show that you thought…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/giles-matthey/it-was-only-when-i-went-to-acting-school-that-i-was-like-you-are/)

[Giles Matthey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/giles-matthey/)

> [That old man dies prematurely whose memory records no benefits conferred. They only have lived long who have lived virtuously.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-brinsley-sheridan/that-old-man-dies-prematurely-whose-memory-records-no-benefits/)

[Richard Brinsley Sheridan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-brinsley-sheridan/)

> [We have started to make music at age seven. That was a hard work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-kaulitz/we-have-started-to-make-music-at-age-seven-that-was-a-hard-work/)

[Bill Kaulitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-kaulitz/)

[Browse all 18,948 Age quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/age/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "After that [father's death] I never cried with any real conviction, nor expected much of anyone's God except indifference, nor loved deeply without fear that it would cost me dearly in pain. At the age of five I had become a skeptic and began to sense that any happiness that came my way might be the prelude to some grim cosmic joke.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Russell Baker"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/after-that-father-s-death-i-never-cried-with-any-real-conviction-nor/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Age"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/after-that-father-s-death-i-never-cried-with-any-real-conviction-nor/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09c/russell-baker-2930_age_after-that-father-s-death-i-never-cried_1710179.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09c/russell-baker-2930_age_after-that-father-s-death-i-never-cried_1710179.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09c/russell-baker-2930_age_after-that-father-s-death-i-never-cried_1710179.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“After that [father's death] I never cried with any real conviction, nor expected much of anyone's God except…” — Russell Baker",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Russell Baker",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-baker/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "After that [father's death] I never...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/after-that-father-s-death-i-never-cried-with-any-real-conviction-nor/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-baker/after-that-father-s-death-i-never-cried-with-any-real-conviction-nor/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
