--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Shame is a difficult thing. People…" description: "\"“Shame is a difficult thing. People certainly try to shame me for being fat. When I am walking down the street, men lean out of their car windows and s..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28b/roxane-gay-520_shame_shame-is-a-difficult-thing-people-certai_2130649.png" --- # Shame is a difficult thing. People certainly try to shame… ![“Shame is a difficult thing. People certainly try to shame me for being fat. When I am walking down the street, men lean out of their car windows and shout vulgar things at me about my body, how they see it, and how it upsets them that I am not catering to their gaze and their preferences and…” quote by Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28b/roxane-gay-520_shame_shame-is-a-difficult-thing-people-certai_2130649.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28b/roxane-gay-520_shame_shame-is-a-difficult-thing-people-certai_2130649.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28b/roxane-gay-520_shame_shame-is-a-difficult-thing-people-certai_2130649.png) > ““Shame is a difficult thing. People certainly try to shame me for being fat. When I am walking down the street, men lean out of their car windows and shout vulgar things at me about my body, how they see it, and how it upsets them that I am not catering to their gaze and their preferences and desires. I try not to take these men seriously because what they are really saying is, “I am not attracted to you. I do not want to fuck you, and this confuses my understanding of my masculinity, entitlement, and place in this world.” It is not my job to please them with my body. It”” [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Public shaming based on body size reveals deeper issues of masculinity, entitlement, and societal expectations, urging self‑validation over external judgment. **In simple terms:** Body shaming exposes gender and power dynamics. Key Takeaway Prioritize self‑worth over others’ insults. Themes body image shaming masculinity entitlement social norms Mood defiant reflective empowered Type critical motivational When to use this quote - street harassment - social media criticism - body positivity movements - personal empowerment Key Concepts power dynamics identity self‑acceptance Questions to Reflect On - How can individuals resist internalizing shaming? - What broader cultural shifts are needed to end body‑based harassment? A Different Perspective Changing societal attitudes is a slow, collective effort. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Masculinity Entitlement](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/masculinity-entitlement-4389805/) [Shame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shame/) [Shame Difficult](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shame-difficult-4389806/) [Shame Fat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shame-fat-3168571/) [Understanding Masculinity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/understanding-masculinity-4389807/) ## Related quotes > [“When I am walking down the street, men lean out of their car windows and shout vulgar things at me about my body, how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/when-i-am-walking-down-the-street-men-lean-out-of-their-car-windows/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“Fat shaming is real, constant, and rather pointed. There are a shocking number of people who believe they can simply torment fat people into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/fat-shaming-is-real-constant-and-rather-pointed-there-are-a-shocking/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“Shame is the deepest of the “negative emotions,” a feeling we will do almost anything to avoid. Unfortunately, our abiding fear of shame impairs…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/shame-is-the-deepest-of-the-negative-emotions-a-feeling-we-will-do/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“He stopped at an intersection, panting, rubbing at the twinge in his hamstrings, looking around, though he knew no cars were coming in either…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-mina/he-stopped-at-an-intersection-panting-rubbing-at-the-twinge-in-his/) [Denise Mina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-mina/) > [My influences are jazz, blues, European classical music; they are rock music and pop music. So many kinds of music. World music from different…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rokia-traore/my-influences-are-jazz-blues-european-classical-music-they-are-rock/) [Rokia Traore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rokia-traore/) > [Most readers, then and now, have at some time experienced the humiliation of being told that their occupation is reprehensible.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alberto-manguel/most-readers-then-and-now-have-at-some-time-experienced-the/) [Alberto Manguel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alberto-manguel/) > [“There's something energizing about getting what you want, even if that something is shame.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/riley-sager/there-s-something-energizing-about-getting-what-you-want-even-if-that/) [Riley Sager](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/riley-sager/) > [ I guarantee you \[Hillary Clinton\] is smoking in humiliation over the idea that she needs to heal and that \[Donald\] Trump's the guy to… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rush-limbaugh/i-guarantee-you-hillary-clinton-is-smoking-in-humiliation-over-the/) [Rush Limbaugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rush-limbaugh/) > [Telling a story of illness, one pulls a thread through a narrow opening flanked on one side by shame and the other by trivia.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-griffin/telling-a-story-of-illness-one-pulls-a-thread-through-a-narrow/) [Susan Griffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-griffin/) > [“Build a bridge over shame by teaching kids about sexual abuse. Give them a chance to run to us should they encounter it. Be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-byers-ruch/build-a-bridge-over-shame-by-teaching-kids-about-sexual-abuse-give/) [Carolyn Byers Ruch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-byers-ruch/) > [Mine would be, "We will stand together, he and I. One in victory, one in shame. Only then can I truly own the power…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/mine-would-be-we-will-stand-together-he-and-i-one-in-victory-one-in/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [For some reason, we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/geneen-roth/for-some-reason-we-are-truly-convinced-that-if-we-criticize-ourselves/) [Geneen Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/geneen-roth/) > [The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/the-books-that-the-world-calls-immoral-are-the-books-that-show-the/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [It's a shame that when you've actually lived some life and have something to write about, they're saying you're too old to come out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kt-tunstall/it-s-a-shame-that-when-you-ve-actually-lived-some-life-and-have/) [KT Tunstall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kt-tunstall/) > [“So she bowed her head and devoted herself to Beartown’s real traditional sports: shame and silence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fredrik-backman/so-she-bowed-her-head-and-devoted-herself-to-beartown-s-real/) [Fredrik Backman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fredrik-backman/) ## More by Roxane Gay > [“Human endurance fascinates me, probably too much because more often than not, I think of life in terms of enduring instead of living.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/human-endurance-fascinates-me-probably-too-much-because-more-often/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“Being useful was a balm.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/being-useful-was-a-balm/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [No woman or man is any one thing and the men in my stories, well, some of them are good and some of them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/no-woman-or-man-is-any-one-thing-and-the-men-in-my-stories-well-some/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“I was a daydreamer and I resented being pulled out of my daydreams to deal with the business of living.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/i-was-a-daydreamer-and-i-resented-being-pulled-out-of-my-daydreams-to/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [Feminism is, I hope, a way to a better future for everyone who inhabits this world. Feminism should not be something that needs a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/feminism-is-i-hope-a-way-to-a-better-future-for-everyone-who-inhabits/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [Fiction offers escape but it also interrogates the world we live in, whether the past, present or future.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/fiction-offers-escape-but-it-also-interrogates-the-world-we-live-in/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“I've noticed while cooking, how ingredients in their individual and naked state and be a bit repulsive but necessary, kind of like people.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/i-ve-noticed-while-cooking-how-ingredients-in-their-individual-and/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“I shouted, “This is not right,” knowing my words were useless. There’s no room for such distinctions in a country where too many people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/i-shouted-this-is-not-right-knowing-my-words-were-useless-there-s-no/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [Most of my favorite tweets go completely ignored but most of my favorite tweets are probably really lame or inside jokes between me and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/most-of-my-favorite-tweets-go-completely-ignored-but-most-of-my/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“What about other women of color? For Hispanic and Latina women, Indian women, Middle Eastern women, Asian women, their absence in popular culture is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/what-about-other-women-of-color-for-hispanic-and-latina-women-indian/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [There has been, and there will continue to be, vigorous discussions about race in America. I worry that little will come of these discussions…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/there-has-been-and-there-will-continue-to-be-vigorous-discussions/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [Writing, at its best and truest, can offer solace and salvation for both readers and writers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/writing-at-its-best-and-truest-can-offer-solace-and-salvation-for/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“I knew I was in love with The Hunger Games when I did not want to get off the treadmill”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/i-knew-i-was-in-love-with-the-hunger-games-when-i-did-not-want-to-get/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“Just because you survive something does not mean you are strong.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/just-because-you-survive-something-does-not-mean-you-are-strong/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“Celebrities understand the economy of thinness, and most of them are willing to participate in that economy, taking to social media, where they pose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/celebrities-understand-the-economy-of-thinness-and-most-of-them-are/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) [Explore all 503 Roxane Gay quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) ## More Shame quotes > [“So she bowed her head and devoted herself to Beartown’s real traditional sports: shame and silence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fredrik-backman/so-she-bowed-her-head-and-devoted-herself-to-beartown-s-real/) [Fredrik Backman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fredrik-backman/) > [It's a shame that when you've actually lived some life and have something to write about, they're saying you're too old to come out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kt-tunstall/it-s-a-shame-that-when-you-ve-actually-lived-some-life-and-have/) [KT Tunstall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kt-tunstall/) > [The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/the-books-that-the-world-calls-immoral-are-the-books-that-show-the/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [For some reason, we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/geneen-roth/for-some-reason-we-are-truly-convinced-that-if-we-criticize-ourselves/) [Geneen Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/geneen-roth/) > [Mine would be, "We will stand together, he and I. One in victory, one in shame. Only then can I truly own the power…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/mine-would-be-we-will-stand-together-he-and-i-one-in-victory-one-in/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Build a bridge over shame by teaching kids about sexual abuse. Give them a chance to run to us should they encounter it. Be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-byers-ruch/build-a-bridge-over-shame-by-teaching-kids-about-sexual-abuse-give/) [Carolyn Byers Ruch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-byers-ruch/) > [Telling a story of illness, one pulls a thread through a narrow opening flanked on one side by shame and the other by trivia.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-griffin/telling-a-story-of-illness-one-pulls-a-thread-through-a-narrow/) [Susan Griffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-griffin/) > [ I guarantee you \[Hillary Clinton\] is smoking in humiliation over the idea that she needs to heal and that \[Donald\] Trump's the guy to… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rush-limbaugh/i-guarantee-you-hillary-clinton-is-smoking-in-humiliation-over-the/) [Rush Limbaugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rush-limbaugh/) > [“There's something energizing about getting what you want, even if that something is shame.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/riley-sager/there-s-something-energizing-about-getting-what-you-want-even-if-that/) [Riley Sager](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/riley-sager/) > [Most readers, then and now, have at some time experienced the humiliation of being told that their occupation is reprehensible.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alberto-manguel/most-readers-then-and-now-have-at-some-time-experienced-the/) [Alberto Manguel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alberto-manguel/) > [My influences are jazz, blues, European classical music; they are rock music and pop music. So many kinds of music. World music from different…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rokia-traore/my-influences-are-jazz-blues-european-classical-music-they-are-rock/) [Rokia Traore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rokia-traore/) > [“He stopped at an intersection, panting, rubbing at the twinge in his hamstrings, looking around, though he knew no cars were coming in either…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-mina/he-stopped-at-an-intersection-panting-rubbing-at-the-twinge-in-his/) [Denise Mina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-mina/) > [“Shame is the deepest of the “negative emotions,” a feeling we will do almost anything to avoid. Unfortunately, our abiding fear of shame impairs…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/shame-is-the-deepest-of-the-negative-emotions-a-feeling-we-will-do/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“To shame our sins He blushed in blood; He closed His eyes to show us God; Let all the world fall down and know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernard-of-clairvaux/to-shame-our-sins-he-blushed-in-blood-he-closed-his-eyes-to-show-us/) [Bernard of Clairvaux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernard-of-clairvaux/) > [I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-swift/i-never-wonder-to-see-men-wicked-but-i-often-wonder-to-see-them-not/) [Jonathan Swift](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-swift/) [Browse all 4,033 Shame quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shame/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Shame is a difficult thing. 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