--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I have never been married. I don't know…" description: "\"I have never been married. I don't know if I will ever marry, though I hope to. When I am asked why I have not married, I explain that my parents have ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/357/roxane-gay-520_am_i-have-never-been-married-i-don-t-know-i_2263198.png" --- # I have never been married. I don't know if I will ever… ![“I have never been married. I don't know if I will ever marry, though I hope to. When I am asked why I have not married, I explain that my parents have been happily married for 42 years. The bar feels so very high for that kind of commitment.” quote by Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/357/roxane-gay-520_am_i-have-never-been-married-i-don-t-know-i_2263198.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/357/roxane-gay-520_am_i-have-never-been-married-i-don-t-know-i_2263198.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/357/roxane-gay-520_am_i-have-never-been-married-i-don-t-know-i_2263198.png) > “I have never been married. I don't know if I will ever marry, though I hope to. When I am asked why I have not married, I explain that my parents have been happily married for 42 years. The bar feels so very high for that kind of commitment.” [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. High parental marriage longevity sets an intimidating benchmark, causing personal doubt about committing to marriage. **In simple terms:** Parental marriage sets a high bar. Key Takeaway Assess personal values separate from parental examples. Themes marriage expectations self‑worth Mood thoughtful hopeful Type advice personal development When to use this quote - dating - career planning - therapy - family discussions Key Concepts social comparison commitment anxiety cultural norms Questions to Reflect On - What defines a healthy partnership for you? - How can you set personal relationship standards? A Different Perspective Individual choices may differ from parental models. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [42 Years](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/42-years-443835/) [Am](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/am/) [Asked](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/asked/) [Asked Married](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/asked-married-1271224/) [Bar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bar/) [Been](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/been/) [Commitment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/commitment/) [Ever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ever/) [Explain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/explain/) [Feels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feels/) [Happily](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/happily/) [Happily married](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/happily-married/) [High](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/high/) [Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hope/) [I am](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/i-am/) [Kind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kind/) [Know](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/know/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Married](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/married/) [Married 42](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/married-42-5216012/) [Married Explain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/married-explain-5216013/) [Marry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marry/) [Never](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/never/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Parents](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parents/) [Though](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/though/) [Very](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/very/) [Why](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/why/) [Will](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/will/) [Years](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/years/) ## Related quotes > [My parents have been married for 42 years. Their marriage has been - from what I can see - a happy one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/my-parents-have-been-married-for-42-years-their-marriage-has-been/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“I--" She swallowed, perhaps summoning her courage, then continued, "I would not lie to you and say that I did not want this." "Me,"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julia-quinn/i-she-swallowed-perhaps-summoning-her-courage-then-continued-i-would/) [Julia Quinn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julia-quinn/) > [A survey asked married women when they most want to have sex. 84 per cent of them said right after their husband is finished.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/a-survey-asked-married-women-when-they-most-want-to-have-sex-84-per/) [Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/) > [We really didn't talk a whole lot about relationships. I believe I asked if he had ever been married, and he said no.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-peterson/we-really-didn-t-talk-a-whole-lot-about-relationships-i-believe-i/) [Scott Peterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-peterson/) > [I'm happily married.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/javier-bardem/i-m-happily-married/) [Javier Bardem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/javier-bardem/) > [I've had an absolutely charmed life in every aspect of it. I do for my job what I would do for a hobby if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-base/i-ve-had-an-absolutely-charmed-life-in-every-aspect-of-it-i-do-for-my/) [Graeme Base](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-base/) > [When you end up happily married, even the failed relationships have worked beautifully to get you there.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julia-roberts/when-you-end-up-happily-married-even-the-failed-relationships-have/) [Julia Roberts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julia-roberts/) > [“Married and Happily Married are two different things.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pratik-akkawar/married-and-happily-married-are-two-different-things/) [Pratik Akkawar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pratik-akkawar/) > [I was very happily married and never broke my vows.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-duryea/i-was-very-happily-married-and-never-broke-my-vows/) [Dan Duryea](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-duryea/) > [I am happily married to a wonderful man. He is not in the business.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erin-moran/i-am-happily-married-to-a-wonderful-man-he-is-not-in-the-business/) [Erin Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erin-moran/) > [I'm from a big family; I have four younger siblings. My parents are still happily married together. I grew up moving around a lot,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-greczyn/i-m-from-a-big-family-i-have-four-younger-siblings-my-parents-are/) [Alice Greczyn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-greczyn/) > [Great sex is why we're so happily married!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terri-irwin/great-sex-is-why-we-re-so-happily-married/) [Terri Irwin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terri-irwin/) > [I found the happiest woman in America is between 50 and 55, is happily married, has made significant progress in her career, and lives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-sheehy/i-found-the-happiest-woman-in-america-is-between-50-and-55-is-happily/) [Gail Sheehy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-sheehy/) > [I’m happily married. I’ve got more than enough to eat at home.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-ford/i-m-happily-married-i-ve-got-more-than-enough-to-eat-at-home/) [Rob Ford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-ford/) > [I've been happily married to Chris for almost 20 years.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jamie-lee-curtis/i-ve-been-happily-married-to-chris-for-almost-20-years/) [Jamie Lee Curtis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jamie-lee-curtis/) ## More by Roxane Gay > [“Human endurance fascinates me, probably too much because more often than not, I think of life in terms of enduring instead of living.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/human-endurance-fascinates-me-probably-too-much-because-more-often/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“Being useful was a balm.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/being-useful-was-a-balm/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [No woman or man is any one thing and the men in my stories, well, some of them are good and some of them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/no-woman-or-man-is-any-one-thing-and-the-men-in-my-stories-well-some/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“I was a daydreamer and I resented being pulled out of my daydreams to deal with the business of living.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/i-was-a-daydreamer-and-i-resented-being-pulled-out-of-my-daydreams-to/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [Feminism is, I hope, a way to a better future for everyone who inhabits this world. Feminism should not be something that needs a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/feminism-is-i-hope-a-way-to-a-better-future-for-everyone-who-inhabits/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [Fiction offers escape but it also interrogates the world we live in, whether the past, present or future.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/fiction-offers-escape-but-it-also-interrogates-the-world-we-live-in/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“I've noticed while cooking, how ingredients in their individual and naked state and be a bit repulsive but necessary, kind of like people.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/i-ve-noticed-while-cooking-how-ingredients-in-their-individual-and/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“I shouted, “This is not right,” knowing my words were useless. There’s no room for such distinctions in a country where too many people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/i-shouted-this-is-not-right-knowing-my-words-were-useless-there-s-no/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [Most of my favorite tweets go completely ignored but most of my favorite tweets are probably really lame or inside jokes between me and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/most-of-my-favorite-tweets-go-completely-ignored-but-most-of-my/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“What about other women of color? For Hispanic and Latina women, Indian women, Middle Eastern women, Asian women, their absence in popular culture is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/what-about-other-women-of-color-for-hispanic-and-latina-women-indian/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [There has been, and there will continue to be, vigorous discussions about race in America. I worry that little will come of these discussions…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/there-has-been-and-there-will-continue-to-be-vigorous-discussions/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [Writing, at its best and truest, can offer solace and salvation for both readers and writers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/writing-at-its-best-and-truest-can-offer-solace-and-salvation-for/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“I knew I was in love with The Hunger Games when I did not want to get off the treadmill”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/i-knew-i-was-in-love-with-the-hunger-games-when-i-did-not-want-to-get/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“Just because you survive something does not mean you are strong.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/just-because-you-survive-something-does-not-mean-you-are-strong/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) > [“Celebrities understand the economy of thinness, and most of them are willing to participate in that economy, taking to social media, where they pose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/celebrities-understand-the-economy-of-thinness-and-most-of-them-are/) [Roxane Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) [Explore all 503 Roxane Gay quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/) ## More Am quotes > [I don't own designer clothes, or a sports car, or a huge house, but I am seeing the world, experiencing amazing things, and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roz-savage/i-don-t-own-designer-clothes-or-a-sports-car-or-a-huge-house-but-i-am/) [Roz Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roz-savage/) > [I think I am against stereotype. Generally, Asian guys are more quiet - they study and have a good work ethic. Generally, I have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bobby-lee/i-think-i-am-against-stereotype-generally-asian-guys-are-more-quiet/) [Bobby Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bobby-lee/) > [I am not a depressive person at all, but I reflect a lot on my life, and life in general, from the perspective of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/i-am-not-a-depressive-person-at-all-but-i-reflect-a-lot-on-my-life/) [Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/) > [Any incarnation of 'Batman' I am delighted to do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-west/any-incarnation-of-batman-i-am-delighted-to-do/) [Adam West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-west/) > [I am tired of our characters being so incomplete. When do we ever save the day in a film? When does a Latino actor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esai-morales/i-am-tired-of-our-characters-being-so-incomplete-when-do-we-ever-save/) [Esai Morales](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esai-morales/) > [I am confident when I take the penalty otherwise I would pass for somebody else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruno-fernandes/i-am-confident-when-i-take-the-penalty-otherwise-i-would-pass-for/) [Bruno Fernandes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruno-fernandes/) > [I am on sabbatical as of right now, been too busy to think of about my OWN needs as of late.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-diamond/i-am-on-sabbatical-as-of-right-now-been-too-busy-to-think-of-about-my/) [Jim Diamond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-diamond/) > [I am strongly opposed to any form of amnesty, including, especially, executive amnesty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-scalise/i-am-strongly-opposed-to-any-form-of-amnesty-including-especially/) [Steve Scalise](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-scalise/) > [I am no different from a lot of people. I am concerned for the future of my children and concerned for the future of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-barnes/i-am-no-different-from-a-lot-of-people-i-am-concerned-for-the-future/) [John Barnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-barnes/) > [I won't be managing the Mets. I am closing the door on managing the Mets and probably everybody else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-torre/i-won-t-be-managing-the-mets-i-am-closing-the-door-on-managing-the/) [Joe Torre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-torre/) > [I know who I am. I know what I represent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alex-cora/i-know-who-i-am-i-know-what-i-represent/) [Alex Cora](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alex-cora/) > [I am fortunate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruth-westheimer/i-am-fortunate/) [Ruth Westheimer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruth-westheimer/) > [I will support my party when they are right on an issue, but am not afraid to stand up to party bosses who are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darlene-senger/i-will-support-my-party-when-they-are-right-on-an-issue-but-am-not/) [Darlene Senger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darlene-senger/) > [Acting is what I do with who I am.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-walter/acting-is-what-i-do-with-who-i-am/) [Harriet Walter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-walter/) > [I am a big outliner. For my adult book, 'The Visibles,' I did not outline, and it took me two years to write because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sara-shepard/i-am-a-big-outliner-for-my-adult-book-the-visibles-i-did-not-outline/) [Sara Shepard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sara-shepard/) [Browse all 9,589 Am quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/am/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I have never been married. I don't know if I will ever marry, though I hope to. When I am asked why I have not married, I explain that my parents have been happily married for 42 years. The bar feels so very high for that kind of commitment.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Roxane Gay" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/i-have-never-been-married-i-don-t-know-if-i-will-ever-marry-though-i/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Am" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/i-have-never-been-married-i-don-t-know-if-i-will-ever-marry-though-i/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/357/roxane-gay-520_am_i-have-never-been-married-i-don-t-know-i_2263198.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/357/roxane-gay-520_am_i-have-never-been-married-i-don-t-know-i_2263198.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/357/roxane-gay-520_am_i-have-never-been-married-i-don-t-know-i_2263198.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have never been married. I don't know if I will ever marry, though I hope to. When I am asked why I have…” — Roxane Gay", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Roxane Gay", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxane-gay/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "I have never been married. I...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/i-have-never-been-married-i-don-t-know-if-i-will-ever-marry-though-i/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxane-gay/i-have-never-been-married-i-don-t-know-if-i-will-ever-marry-though-i/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```