--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: People don't scream or swear or pout or…" description: "\"People don't scream or swear or pout or sulk when there's compatibility. But most growth occurs when there's incompatibility. When it comes to resilien..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/726/ross-w-greene-17138_compatibility_people-don-t-scream-or-swear-or-pout-or_148170.jpg" --- # People don't scream or swear or pout or sulk when there's… ![“People don't scream or swear or pout or sulk when there's compatibility. But most growth occurs when there's incompatibility. When it comes to resilience, when it comes to pulling yourself up when you've fallen down, you don't learn those things when things are going well. You learn those things…” quote by Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/726/ross-w-greene-17138_compatibility_people-don-t-scream-or-swear-or-pout-or_148170.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/726/ross-w-greene-17138_compatibility_people-don-t-scream-or-swear-or-pout-or_148170.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/726/ross-w-greene-17138_compatibility_people-don-t-scream-or-swear-or-pout-or_148170.jpg) > “People don't scream or swear or pout or sulk when there's compatibility. But most growth occurs when there's incompatibility. When it comes to resilience, when it comes to pulling yourself up when you've fallen down, you don't learn those things when things are going well. You learn those things when you're struggling.” [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Growth and resilience develop through struggle, not ease; challenges teach coping and perseverance. **In simple terms:** Hard times teach resilience, not smooth sailing. Key Takeaway Seek challenges to build resilience. Themes resilience growth adversity learning self‑improvement Mood determined hopeful reflective Type personal psychological When to use this quote - overcoming setbacks - learning from failure - building grit Key Concepts psychology of coping personal development Questions to Reflect On - What balance of challenge and support works for you? - How do you recover after a setback? A Different Perspective Too much struggle can cause burnout. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Compatibility](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/compatibility/) [Growth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/growth/) [Incompatibility](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/incompatibility/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Resilience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/resilience/) [Struggle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/struggle/) ## Related quotes > [When there's a good fit between skills and expectations, there's what we call compatibility, and we would expect a good outcome. When there's a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/when-there-s-a-good-fit-between-skills-and-expectations-there-s-what/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) > [“Together, we form a necessary paradox; not a senseless contradiction.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/criss-jami/together-we-form-a-necessary-paradox-not-a-senseless-contradiction/) [Criss Jami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/criss-jami/) > [“You were only there to be a healer. A fixer. To prepare them for the next love. Not yours.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darnell-lamont-walker/you-were-only-there-to-be-a-healer-a-fixer-to-prepare-them-for-the/) [Darnell Lamont Walker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darnell-lamont-walker/) > [While it is true that science, to the extent of its grasp of causative connections, may reach important conclusions as to the compatibility and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-einstein/while-it-is-true-that-science-to-the-extent-of-its-grasp-of-causative/) [Albert Einstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-einstein/) > [Normally if you're dating, you're looking for compatibility, and then the moment that there's incompatibility, you're like, "Well, swipe left on that, let's just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ian-bogost/normally-if-you-re-dating-you-re-looking-for-compatibility-and-then/) [Ian Bogost](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ian-bogost/) > [“Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. It comes from gratitude for what’s good in our lives and from leaning…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheryl-sandberg/resilience-comes-from-deep-within-us-and-from-support-outside-us-it-3/) [Sheryl Sandberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheryl-sandberg/) > [“Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. It comes from gratitude for what’s good in our lives and from leaning…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheryl-sandberg/resilience-comes-from-deep-within-us-and-from-support-outside-us-it/) [Sheryl Sandberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheryl-sandberg/) > [“Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. It comes from gratitude for what’s good in our lives and from leaning…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheryl-sandberg/resilience-comes-from-deep-within-us-and-from-support-outside-us-it-2/) [Sheryl Sandberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheryl-sandberg/) > [Growth occurs when individuals confront problems, struggle to master them, and through that struggle develop new aspects of their skills, capacities, views about life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-rogers/growth-occurs-when-individuals-confront-problems-struggle-to-master/) [Carl Rogers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-rogers/) > [“Upward growth occurs in cycles that build upon each other in an ascending spiral of capacity and understanding. They are often not easy, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-g-scott/upward-growth-occurs-in-cycles-that-build-upon-each-other-in-an/) [Richard G. Scott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-g-scott/) > [I like to believe in the good in people. But we're all going to screw up from time to time. It just happens. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judy-smith/i-like-to-believe-in-the-good-in-people-but-we-re-all-going-to-screw/) [Judy Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judy-smith/) > [Spiritual growth thrives in the midst of our problems, not in their absence. Spiritual growth occurs in the trenches of life, not in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-yaconelli/spiritual-growth-thrives-in-the-midst-of-our-problems-not-in-their/) [Mike Yaconelli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-yaconelli/) > [Productivity growth, however it occurs, has a disruptive side to it. In the short term, most things that contribute to productivity growth are very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-yellen/productivity-growth-however-it-occurs-has-a-disruptive-side-to-it-in/) [Janet Yellen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-yellen/) > [“Growth occurs unabated free of obstacles.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-wohl/growth-occurs-unabated-free-of-obstacles/) [Phil Wohl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-wohl/) > [A reminder that often our best shot at finding lasting love comes from the personal growth that occurs in the aftermath of a painful…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/a-reminder-that-often-our-best-shot-at-finding-lasting-love-comes/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Ross W. Greene > [School is very demanding these days.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/school-is-very-demanding-these-days/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) > [“Half of teachers leave the profession within their first four years, and kids with behaviour challenges and their parents are cited as one of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/half-of-teachers-leave-the-profession-within-their-first-four-years/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) > [A lot of parents aren't exactly sure how to go about solving a problem with a kid in a way that's mutually satisfactory -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/a-lot-of-parents-aren-t-exactly-sure-how-to-go-about-solving-a/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) > [We never get to see that our kid is capable of solving problems on her own. We never start to build up the faith…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/we-never-get-to-see-that-our-kid-is-capable-of-solving-problems-on/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) > [When there's a good fit between skills and expectations, there's what we call compatibility, and we would expect a good outcome. When there's a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/when-there-s-a-good-fit-between-skills-and-expectations-there-s-what/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) > [Be your kid's collaborative partner, but also be a collaborative partner with the folks at school. Schools can be pretty unilateral too. Show them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/be-your-kid-s-collaborative-partner-but-also-be-a-collaborative/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) > [“Challenging behavior occurs when the demands and expectations being placed upon a child outstrip the skills he has to respond adaptively.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/challenging-behavior-occurs-when-the-demands-and-expectations-being/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) > [“Whether a kid is sulking, pouting, whining, withdrawing, refusing to talk, crying, spitting, screaming, swearing, running out of the classroom, kicking, hitting, destroying property,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/whether-a-kid-is-sulking-pouting-whining-withdrawing-refusing-to-talk/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) > [“The school discipline program isn’t working for the kids who aren’t doing well and isn’t needed by the kids who are.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/the-school-discipline-program-isn-t-working-for-the-kids-who-aren-t/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) > [“A kid shouldn't need a diagnosis to access help.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/a-kid-shouldn-t-need-a-diagnosis-to-access-help/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) > [If a solution isn't mutually satisfactory, it's not going to stick.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/if-a-solution-isn-t-mutually-satisfactory-it-s-not-going-to-stick/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) > [People still look askance at a kid in the supermarket who's pitching a fit and think the parent is not sufficiently in control or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/people-still-look-askance-at-a-kid-in-the-supermarket-who-s-pitching/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) > [The idea that we can take this lump of clay and mold it into a form of our choosing is absolutely ludicrous.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/the-idea-that-we-can-take-this-lump-of-clay-and-mold-it-into-a-form/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) > [We have forgotten that those skills on the more positive side of human nature have to be taught, have to be modeled, have to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/we-have-forgotten-that-those-skills-on-the-more-positive-side-of/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) > [It's a whole lot more productive to be in problem-solving mode than it is to be in behavior modification mode.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/it-s-a-whole-lot-more-productive-to-be-in-problem-solving-mode-than/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) [Explore all 38 Ross W. Greene quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) ## More Compatibility quotes > [Music creates order out of chaos: for rhythm imposes unanimity upon the divergent, melody imposes continuity upon the disjointed, and harmony imposes compatibility upon…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yehudi-menuhin/music-creates-order-out-of-chaos-for-rhythm-imposes-unanimity-upon/) [Yehudi Menuhin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yehudi-menuhin/) > [Chemistry does not guarantee compatibility.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-chan/chemistry-does-not-guarantee-compatibility/) [Amy Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chan/) > [In Italy there are 5 million legal migrants. They're integrated, and they're welcome. The problem of the Muslim presence is increasingly worrying. There are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matteo-salvini/in-italy-there-are-5-million-legal-migrants-they-re-integrated-and/) [Matteo Salvini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matteo-salvini/) > [“Together, we form a necessary paradox; not a senseless contradiction.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/criss-jami/together-we-form-a-necessary-paradox-not-a-senseless-contradiction/) [Criss Jami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/criss-jami/) > [Marriage probably originated as a straightforward food-for-sex deal among foraging primates. Compatibility was not a big issue, nor, of course, was there any tension…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-ehrenreich/marriage-probably-originated-as-a-straightforward-food-for-sex-deal/) [Barbara Ehrenreich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-ehrenreich/) > [“Summer and Winter were not supposed to fall in love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-kagawa/summer-and-winter-were-not-supposed-to-fall-in-love/) [Julie Kagawa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-kagawa/) > [our greatest compatibility was in how we complemented each other's neuroses.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-drescher/our-greatest-compatibility-was-in-how-we-complemented-each-other-s/) [Fran Drescher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-drescher/) > [Finding a programmer to work with if you don't already know one will be a challenge. Merely judging if a programmer is exceptional vs.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-livingston/finding-a-programmer-to-work-with-if-you-don-t-already-know-one-will/) [Jessica Livingston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-livingston/) > [My idea of compatibility these days is making sure our liver and kidneys are a match ...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trae-barnard/my-idea-of-compatibility-these-days-is-making-sure-our-liver-and/) Trae Barnard > [Yes, I remember the bombings. Yes, I remember, because - yes, I remember being in air raid shelters. Even though I was evacuated because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-collins/yes-i-remember-the-bombings-yes-i-remember-because-yes-i-remember/) [Joan Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-collins/) > [I always cringe when a male friend of mine, who's very fixated on women, puts "compatibility" at the top of his list of attributes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-ellroy/i-always-cringe-when-a-male-friend-of-mine-who-s-very-fixated-on/) [James Ellroy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-ellroy/) > [When there's a good fit between skills and expectations, there's what we call compatibility, and we would expect a good outcome. When there's a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/when-there-s-a-good-fit-between-skills-and-expectations-there-s-what/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) > [“I began to think that he had just the right measure of unhappiness and dissatisfaction with life to be someone I could get along…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/catherine-lacey/i-began-to-think-that-he-had-just-the-right-measure-of-unhappiness/) [Catherine Lacey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/catherine-lacey/) > [“I don't think I'm compatible with life, nor life with me! One of us has got to go, but the question is which one?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-lowe/i-don-t-think-i-m-compatible-with-life-nor-life-with-me-one-of-us-has/) Martha Lowe > [“Most people do not have a problem with you thinking for yourself, as long as your conclusions are the same as or at least…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/most-people-do-not-have-a-problem-with-you-thinking-for-yourself-as/) [Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/) [Browse all 62 Compatibility quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/compatibility/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "People don't scream or swear or pout or sulk when there's compatibility. But most growth occurs when there's incompatibility. When it comes to resilience, when it comes to pulling yourself up when you've fallen down, you don't learn those things when things are going well. You learn those things when you're struggling.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ross W. Greene" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/people-don-t-scream-or-swear-or-pout-or-sulk-when-there-s/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Compatibility" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/people-don-t-scream-or-swear-or-pout-or-sulk-when-there-s/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/726/ross-w-greene-17138_compatibility_people-don-t-scream-or-swear-or-pout-or_148170.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/726/ross-w-greene-17138_compatibility_people-don-t-scream-or-swear-or-pout-or_148170.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/726/ross-w-greene-17138_compatibility_people-don-t-scream-or-swear-or-pout-or_148170.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“People don't scream or swear or pout or sulk when there's compatibility. But most growth occurs when there's…” — Ross W. Greene", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Ross W. Greene", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "People don't scream or swear or...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/people-don-t-scream-or-swear-or-pout-or-sulk-when-there-s/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/people-don-t-scream-or-swear-or-pout-or-sulk-when-there-s/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```