--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: There's no misery in not being loved…" description: "\"There's no misery in not being loved, only in not loving.\" — Rod McKuen" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6be/rod-mckuen-9451_being-loved_there-s-no-misery-in-not-being-loved-onl_1033279.jpg" --- # There's no misery in not being loved, only in not loving. ![“There's no misery in not being loved, only in not loving.” quote by Rod McKuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6be/rod-mckuen-9451_being-loved_there-s-no-misery-in-not-being-loved-onl_1033279.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6be/rod-mckuen-9451_being-loved_there-s-no-misery-in-not-being-loved-onl_1033279.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6be/rod-mckuen-9451_being-loved_there-s-no-misery-in-not-being-loved-onl_1033279.jpg) > “There's no misery in not being loved, only in not loving.” [Rod McKuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Love’s absence isn’t painful; the pain lies in the inability to love. **In simple terms:** Not being loved isn’t the problem; not loving is. Key Takeaway Cultivate love within yourself. Themes love loneliness self-awareness relationships emptiness Mood introspective poignant Type poetic philosophical When to use this quote - romantic relationships - friendships - self-care - therapy Key Concepts Existentialism psychology human connection Questions to Reflect On - How can you practice love without expecting it? - What barriers prevent you from loving others? A Different Perspective Focusing solely on being loved may ignore personal growth. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Being loved](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-loved/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Loving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loving/) [Misery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/misery/) ## Related quotes > [“Theres no misery in not being loved, only in not loving”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/theres-no-misery-in-not-being-loved-only-in-not-loving/) [Rod McKuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) > [If they knew how misery loved me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fall-out-boy/if-they-knew-how-misery-loved-me/) [Fall Out Boy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fall-out-boy/) > [If there is anything better than to be loved it is loving.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-there-is-anything-better-than-to-be-loved-it-is-loving/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“That was the strange thing about misery: it loved company.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nash-summers/that-was-the-strange-thing-about-misery-it-loved-company/) [Nash Summers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nash-summers/) > [“Misery loved company, but damnation needed it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-connolly/misery-loved-company-but-damnation-needed-it/) [John Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-connolly/) > [Dance, this is the way they'd love If they knew how misery loved me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fall-out-boy/dance-this-is-the-way-they-d-love-if-they-knew-how-misery-loved-me/) [Fall Out Boy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fall-out-boy/) > [The most memorable people in your life will be the people who loved you when you were not loving yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-most-memorable-people-in-your-life-will-be-the-people-who-loved/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I don’t feel less loved or less loving because I’m not married.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nia-long/i-don-t-feel-less-loved-or-less-loving-because-i-m-not-married/) [Nia Long](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nia-long/) > [You loved him first, but I'm loving last ,dont worry I'll love him for you too .](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanine-santiago/you-loved-him-first-but-i-m-loving-last-dont-worry-i-ll-love-him-for/) Jeanine Santiago > [“That's how I knew I loved her so much, because not loving her didn't make any sense once I'd known what it felt like.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-corey-whaley/that-s-how-i-knew-i-loved-her-so-much-because-not-loving-her-didn-t/) [John Corey Whaley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-corey-whaley/) > [“So She had to satisfy herself with the idea of love-loving the loving of things whose existence she didn't care at all about. Love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/so-she-had-to-satisfy-herself-with-the-idea-of-love-loving-the-loving-2/) [Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/) > [Happiness is not about being loved, it's about loving someone else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-gere/happiness-is-not-about-being-loved-it-s-about-loving-someone-else/) [Richard Gere](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-gere/) > [“And I was happy...and devastatingly sad too. It was hard, watching someone you had once loved, loving someone else, and loving them more than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/s-c-stephens/and-i-was-happy-and-devastatingly-sad-too-it-was-hard-watching/) [S.C. Stephens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/s-c-stephens/) > [“Brod's life was a slow realization that the world was not for her, and that for whatever reason, she would never be happy and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/brod-s-life-was-a-slow-realization-that-the-world-was-not-for-her-and-3/) [Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/) > [“So she had to satisfy herself with the idea of love – loving the loving of things whose existence she didn’t care at all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/so-she-had-to-satisfy-herself-with-the-idea-of-love-loving-the-loving/) [Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/) ## More by Rod McKuen > [Even when you feel you've reached the end or edge of life, hold on. Life itself will ultimately take care of you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/even-when-you-feel-you-ve-reached-the-end-or-edge-of-life-hold-on/) [Rod McKuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) > [It seems to me that it's every man's obligation to make what contribution he can. You live each day as best you can. That,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/it-seems-to-me-that-it-s-every-man-s-obligation-to-make-what/) [Rod McKuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) > [“How can we be sure of anything the tide changes. The wind that made the grain wave gently yesterday blows down the tress tomorrow.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/how-can-we-be-sure-of-anything-the-tide-changes-the-wind-that-made/) [Rod McKuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) > [Love is a sweet thing caught a momentand held in a golden eye.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/love-is-a-sweet-thing-caught-a-momentand-held-in-a-golden-eye/) [Rod McKuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) > [I have never known a cat that couldn't quiet me down just by walking slowly past my chair.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/i-have-never-known-a-cat-that-couldn-t-quiet-me-down-just-by-walking/) [Rod McKuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) > [“I have fallen in love with the world And I am aware that I have chosen the most dangerous lover of them all.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/i-have-fallen-in-love-with-the-world-and-i-am-aware-that-i-have/) [Rod McKuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) > [The world needs writers. We will always be necessary. There are few professions that can claim that distinction.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/the-world-needs-writers-we-will-always-be-necessary-there-are-few/) [Rod McKuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) > [“These long years later it is worse for I remember what it was as well as what it might have been.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/these-long-years-later-it-is-worse-for-i-remember-what-it-was-as-well/) [Rod McKuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) > [I can't understand people who give up and commit suicide. If I have a bad day, I figure tomorrow will be better. And even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/i-can-t-understand-people-who-give-up-and-commit-suicide-if-i-have-a/) [Rod McKuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) > [“I went back to look for you. Not understanding the language of hello, I thought I’d speak it just the same.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/i-went-back-to-look-for-you-not-understanding-the-language-of-hello-i/) [Rod Mckuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) > [“Crowded rooms and lonesome tunes and very little sky.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/crowded-rooms-and-lonesome-tunes-and-very-little-sky/) [Rod McKuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) > [Be gentle with me, new love. Treat me tenderly. I need the gentle touch, the soft voice, the candlelight after nine. There's been so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/be-gentle-with-me-new-love-treat-me-tenderly-i-need-the-gentle-touch/) [Rod McKuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) > [“Sometimes I think people were meant to be strangers. Not to get to know one another, not to get close enough to damage the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/sometimes-i-think-people-were-meant-to-be-strangers-not-to-get-to/) [Rod McKuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) > [“Love is a sweet thing caught a moment and held in a golden eye.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/love-is-a-sweet-thing-caught-a-moment-and-held-in-a-golden-eye/) [Rod McKuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) > [“Theres no misery in not being loved, only in not loving”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/theres-no-misery-in-not-being-loved-only-in-not-loving/) [Rod McKuen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) [Explore all 72 Rod McKuen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/) ## More Being loved quotes > [I want everyone to meet you. Youre my favorite person of all time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mercy-pheona/i-want-everyone-to-meet-you-youre-my-favorite-person-of-all-time/) [Mercy Pheona](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mercy-pheona/) > [At least with pets, and for all I know, people too, intelligence and quick-wittedness have nothing to do with a talent for being loved,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/at-least-with-pets-and-for-all-i-know-people-too-intelligence-and/) [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) > [When you are in real love; you forget about any bills or problems that may have for a minute, because all that matters that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/london-mond/when-you-are-in-real-love-you-forget-about-any-bills-or-problems-that/) [London Mond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/london-mond/) > [He said that in a way being loved is like being told you never have to die.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-findley/he-said-that-in-a-way-being-loved-is-like-being-told-you-never-have/) [Timothy Findley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-findley/) > [How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-barrett-browning/how-do-i-love-thee-let-me-count-the-ways-i-love-thee-to-the-depth-and/) [Elizabeth Barrett Browning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-barrett-browning/) > [Love is a strong emotion. We are willing to throw our lives away even if it means only being loved a little bit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/love-is-a-strong-emotion-we-are-willing-to-throw-our-lives-away-even/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [There cannot be a sense of abundance or the experience of prosperity without appreciation. You cannot find beauty unless you appreciate beauty. You cannot…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-r-miller/there-cannot-be-a-sense-of-abundance-or-the-experience-of-prosperity/) [William R. Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-r-miller/) > [Work is its own cure. You have to like it better than being loved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marge-piercy/work-is-its-own-cure-you-have-to-like-it-better-than-being-loved/) [Marge Piercy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marge-piercy/) > [Mature love is loving, not being loved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/mature-love-is-loving-not-being-loved/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [I used to think being loved was the greatest thing to think about, but now I know love is never satisfied just thinking about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-goff/i-used-to-think-being-loved-was-the-greatest-thing-to-think-about-but/) [Bob Goff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-goff/) > [You can never love a girl who isn't being loved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-can-never-love-a-girl-who-isn-t-being-loved/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-david-tripp/love-is-willing-self-sacrifice-for-the-good-of-another-that-does-not/) [Paul David Tripp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-david-tripp/) > [But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-keller/but-to-be-fully-known-and-truly-loved-is-well-a-lot-like-being-loved/) [Timothy Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-keller/) > [You cannot experience the fullness of your authentic self or life when you live to avoid hurt. You will never know the joy of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iyanla-vanzant/you-cannot-experience-the-fullness-of-your-authentic-self-or-life/) [Iyanla Vanzant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iyanla-vanzant/) > [I'm tired of living unable to love anyone. I don't have a single friend - not one. And, worst of all, I can't even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/haruki-murakami/i-m-tired-of-living-unable-to-love-anyone-i-don-t-have-a-single/) [Haruki Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/haruki-murakami/) [Browse all 209 Being loved quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-loved/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "There's no misery in not being loved, only in not loving.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Rod McKuen" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/there-s-no-misery-in-not-being-loved-only-in-not-loving/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Being loved" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/there-s-no-misery-in-not-being-loved-only-in-not-loving/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6be/rod-mckuen-9451_being-loved_there-s-no-misery-in-not-being-loved-onl_1033279.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6be/rod-mckuen-9451_being-loved_there-s-no-misery-in-not-being-loved-onl_1033279.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6be/rod-mckuen-9451_being-loved_there-s-no-misery-in-not-being-loved-onl_1033279.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There's no misery in not being loved, only in not loving.” — Rod McKuen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Rod McKuen", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-mckuen/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "There's no misery in not being...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/there-s-no-misery-in-not-being-loved-only-in-not-loving/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-mckuen/there-s-no-misery-in-not-being-loved-only-in-not-loving/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```