--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: You have to be in accountable…" description: "\"You have to be in accountable relationships across race. Accountable means that they're authentic, they're sustained, and that you do talk about racism..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd3/robin-diangelo-10183_accountable_you-have-to-be-in-accountable-relationsh_2820186.jpg" --- # You have to be in accountable relationships across race… ![“You have to be in accountable relationships across race. Accountable means that they're authentic, they're sustained, and that you do talk about racism, and you are able to be given feedback.” quote by Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd3/robin-diangelo-10183_accountable_you-have-to-be-in-accountable-relationsh_2820186.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd3/robin-diangelo-10183_accountable_you-have-to-be-in-accountable-relationsh_2820186.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd3/robin-diangelo-10183_accountable_you-have-to-be-in-accountable-relationsh_2820186.jpg) > “You have to be in accountable relationships across race. Accountable means that they're authentic, they're sustained, and that you do talk about racism, and you are able to be given feedback.” [Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Accountable relationships across race require authenticity, sustained dialogue, and openness to feedback on racism. **In simple terms:** Authentic, ongoing cross‑racial dialogue with feedback. Key Takeaway Foster honest, lasting cross‑racial conversations. Themes race accountability dialogue feedback Mood serious encouraging Type educational reflective When to use this quote - workplace training - community meetings - educational workshops - personal relationships Key Concepts anti‑racism social justice Questions to Reflect On - How can you maintain safety in these talks? - What strategies reduce defensiveness? A Different Perspective Such conversations can trigger defensiveness or conflict. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Authentic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/authentic/) [Race](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/race/) [Racism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/racism/) [Relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationships/) ## Related quotes > [“In the CPS model, holding a kid accountable means that the kid is participating in a process in which he’s identifying and articulating his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ross-w-greene/in-the-cps-model-holding-a-kid-accountable-means-that-the-kid-is/) [Ross W. Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ross-w-greene/) > [“To be accountable means that we are willing to be responsible to another person for our behavior and it implies a level of submission…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wayde-goodall/to-be-accountable-means-that-we-are-willing-to-be-responsible-to/) [Wayde Goodall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wayde-goodall/) > [If I have no idea how my race shapes me, I am probably not going to be open to any feedback about how your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-diangelo/if-i-have-no-idea-how-my-race-shapes-me-i-am-probably-not-going-to-be/) [Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) > [We all have to hold each other accountable and point that behavior out to each other in a kind way. I guess what I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-elizabeth-ellis/we-all-have-to-hold-each-other-accountable-and-point-that-behavior/) [Mary Elizabeth Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-elizabeth-ellis/) > [If you're going to give people authority and hold them responsible and ultimately accountable for their performance, you've got to get out of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/randy-lerner/if-you-re-going-to-give-people-authority-and-hold-them-responsible/) [Randy Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/randy-lerner/) > [There are multi-scatterings of various and associated issues and concerns, but it all boils down to accountable people versus those unwilling to be accountable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-nugent/there-are-multi-scatterings-of-various-and-associated-issues-and/) [Ted Nugent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-nugent/) > [If you can't hold yourself accountable and get your job done then you're not going to be successful.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danny-amendola/if-you-can-t-hold-yourself-accountable-and-get-your-job-done-then-you/) [Danny Amendola](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danny-amendola/) > [It means a lot. It means I'm accountable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/champ-bailey/it-means-a-lot-it-means-i-m-accountable/) [Champ Bailey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/champ-bailey/) > [We will make government more accountable. We will cut fraud, waste and abuse in our budget. But we will not do it by leaving…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-e-james/we-will-make-government-more-accountable-we-will-cut-fraud-waste-and/) [John E. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-e-james/) > [When you're in a relationship, please believe that you are held accountable for every feeling felt, word spoken, and heart broken.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/raghib-clitso/when-you-re-in-a-relationship-please-believe-that-you-are-held/) [Raghib Clitso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/raghib-clitso/) > [I am formally accountable to the steering board of the PIC, and I meet with nine ambassadors from the PIC every week. I have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paddy-ashdown/i-am-formally-accountable-to-the-steering-board-of-the-pic-and-i-meet/) [Paddy Ashdown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paddy-ashdown/) > [I'm against unanswerable concentrations of power, whether that be government or private industry or religious figures - anybody who is not accountable to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-suarez/i-m-against-unanswerable-concentrations-of-power-whether-that-be/) [Daniel Suarez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-suarez/) > [Be aware and hold the government accountable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohit-chauhan/be-aware-and-hold-the-government-accountable/) [Mohit Chauhan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohit-chauhan/) > [I don't have a boss or PR person, so I'm accountable to no one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-sacca/i-don-t-have-a-boss-or-pr-person-so-i-m-accountable-to-no-one/) [Chris Sacca](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-sacca/) > [If China someday gains a more fair, just, and accountable system of government, it will be due to the hard work and efforts of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-mackinnon/if-china-someday-gains-a-more-fair-just-and-accountable-system-of/) [Rebecca MacKinnon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-mackinnon/) ## More by Robin DiAngelo > [We whites who position ourselves as liberal often opt to protect what we perceive as our moral reputationsrather than recognize or change our participation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-diangelo/we-whites-who-position-ourselves-as-liberal-often-opt-to-protect-what/) [Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) > [Denying that race matters is irrational in the face of segregation and all of the other forms of obvious racial inequity in society... Maintaining…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-diangelo/denying-that-race-matters-is-irrational-in-the-face-of-segregation/) [Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) > [White people are very wily when it comes to race. We will do everything that we can to get out from under the idea…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-diangelo/white-people-are-very-wily-when-it-comes-to-race-we-will-do/) [Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) > [This is what I have learned: Any white person living in the United States will develop opinions about race simply by swimming in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-diangelo/this-is-what-i-have-learned-any-white-person-living-in-the-united/) [Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) > [Most white people cannot answer the question, 'What does it mean to be white?' with any depth or complexity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-diangelo/most-white-people-cannot-answer-the-question-what-does-it-mean-to-be/) [Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) > [A fundamental but very challenging part of my work is moving white people from an individual understanding of racism - i.e. only some people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-diangelo/a-fundamental-but-very-challenging-part-of-my-work-is-moving-white/) [Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) > [For a lot of white people, just suggesting that being white has meaning will trigger a deep, defensive response. And that defensiveness serves to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-diangelo/for-a-lot-of-white-people-just-suggesting-that-being-white-has/) [Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) > [Whites often respond defensively when linked to other whites as a group or 'accused' of collectively benefiting from racism, because as individuals, each white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-diangelo/whites-often-respond-defensively-when-linked-to-other-whites-as-a/) [Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) > [As a social concept, 'white' is profound in its meaning. It means people who either come from or appear to come from Europe, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-diangelo/as-a-social-concept-white-is-profound-in-its-meaning-it-means-people/) [Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) > [This is one of the most effective adaptations of racism over time - that we can think of racism as only something that individuals…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-diangelo/this-is-one-of-the-most-effective-adaptations-of-racism-over-time/) [Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) > [Like a nontechnical user trying to understand a technical problem, our racial illiteracy limits our ability to have meaningful conversations about race.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-diangelo/like-a-nontechnical-user-trying-to-understand-a-technical-problem-our/) [Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) > [Human beings can only make sense of the world through the lens they were socialized to make sense of it through.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-diangelo/human-beings-can-only-make-sense-of-the-world-through-the-lens-they/) [Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) > [White people in North America live in a social environment that protects and insulates them from race-based stress. This insulated environment of racial protection…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-diangelo/white-people-in-north-america-live-in-a-social-environment-that/) [Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) > [“It has taken me many years of intensive study and practice to be able to recognize and articulate how I am shaped by being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-diangelo/it-has-taken-me-many-years-of-intensive-study-and-practice-to-be-able/) [Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) > [White consciousness is deeply anti-black, and that's for progressives and conservatives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-diangelo/white-consciousness-is-deeply-anti-black-and-that-s-for-progressives/) [Robin DiAngelo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) [Explore all 67 Robin DiAngelo quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-diangelo/) ## More Accountable quotes > [If China someday gains a more fair, just, and accountable system of government, it will be due to the hard work and efforts of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-mackinnon/if-china-someday-gains-a-more-fair-just-and-accountable-system-of/) [Rebecca MacKinnon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-mackinnon/) > [I don't have a boss or PR person, so I'm accountable to no one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-sacca/i-don-t-have-a-boss-or-pr-person-so-i-m-accountable-to-no-one/) [Chris Sacca](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-sacca/) > [Be aware and hold the government accountable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohit-chauhan/be-aware-and-hold-the-government-accountable/) [Mohit Chauhan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohit-chauhan/) > [I'm against unanswerable concentrations of power, whether that be government or private industry or religious figures - anybody who is not accountable to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-suarez/i-m-against-unanswerable-concentrations-of-power-whether-that-be/) [Daniel Suarez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-suarez/) > [I am formally accountable to the steering board of the PIC, and I meet with nine ambassadors from the PIC every week. I have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paddy-ashdown/i-am-formally-accountable-to-the-steering-board-of-the-pic-and-i-meet/) [Paddy Ashdown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paddy-ashdown/) > [When you're in a relationship, please believe that you are held accountable for every feeling felt, word spoken, and heart broken.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/raghib-clitso/when-you-re-in-a-relationship-please-believe-that-you-are-held/) [Raghib Clitso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/raghib-clitso/) > [We will make government more accountable. We will cut fraud, waste and abuse in our budget. But we will not do it by leaving…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-e-james/we-will-make-government-more-accountable-we-will-cut-fraud-waste-and/) [John E. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-e-james/) > [It means a lot. It means I'm accountable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/champ-bailey/it-means-a-lot-it-means-i-m-accountable/) [Champ Bailey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/champ-bailey/) > [If you can't hold yourself accountable and get your job done then you're not going to be successful.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danny-amendola/if-you-can-t-hold-yourself-accountable-and-get-your-job-done-then-you/) [Danny Amendola](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danny-amendola/) > [There are multi-scatterings of various and associated issues and concerns, but it all boils down to accountable people versus those unwilling to be accountable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-nugent/there-are-multi-scatterings-of-various-and-associated-issues-and/) [Ted Nugent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-nugent/) > [If you're going to give people authority and hold them responsible and ultimately accountable for their performance, you've got to get out of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/randy-lerner/if-you-re-going-to-give-people-authority-and-hold-them-responsible/) [Randy Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/randy-lerner/) > [We all have to hold each other accountable and point that behavior out to each other in a kind way. I guess what I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-elizabeth-ellis/we-all-have-to-hold-each-other-accountable-and-point-that-behavior/) [Mary Elizabeth Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-elizabeth-ellis/) > [“The mistakes you make now count. Not for everything, and not forever. But they do matter, and they shape you...make your choices well. Because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/the-mistakes-you-make-now-count-not-for-everything-and-not-forever/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [In the church we have to deliberately let ourselves be transparent and accountable to others. We're a family.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-keller/in-the-church-we-have-to-deliberately-let-ourselves-be-transparent/) [Timothy Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-keller/) > [I feel like I'm held more accountable to stay healthy now because now I'm a role model to young girls to not have eating…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demi-lovato/i-feel-like-i-m-held-more-accountable-to-stay-healthy-now-because-now/) [Demi Lovato](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demi-lovato/) Browse all 351 Accountable quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You have to be in accountable relationships across race. 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