--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: All growth is costly. It involves the…" description: "\"“All growth is costly. It involves the leaving behind of an old way of being in the world. Often it involves, at least for a time, leaving behind the o..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/72a/robert-kegan-23287_growth_all-growth-is-costly-it-involves-the-lea_1745326.jpg" --- # All growth is costly. It involves the leaving behind of an… ![“All growth is costly. It involves the leaving behind of an old way of being in the world. Often it involves, at least for a time, leaving behind the others who have been identified with that old way of being. The two-year-old's 'No" is really a repudiation of his own old way of being. Seen from…” quote by Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/72a/robert-kegan-23287_growth_all-growth-is-costly-it-involves-the-lea_1745326.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/72a/robert-kegan-23287_growth_all-growth-is-costly-it-involves-the-lea_1745326.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/72a/robert-kegan-23287_growth_all-growth-is-costly-it-involves-the-lea_1745326.jpg) > ““All growth is costly. It involves the leaving behind of an old way of being in the world. Often it involves, at least for a time, leaving behind the others who have been identified with that old way of being. The two-year-old's 'No" is really a repudiation of his own old way of being. Seen from the point of view of his evolution, his declaration is really to his old self, which had been embedded in the world. ... To discover basic limitations in one's whole way of knowing can be by itself an anxious and difficult experience; but it is the creation of the new other in the process which makes it also a potentially shameful experience.”” [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Personal growth requires abandoning familiar identities and relationships, which can be painful and shame‑inducing as we confront our own limitations. **In simple terms:** Growth means letting go of old selves, which can be hard. Key Takeaway Embrace discomfort as a sign of transformation. Themes growth identity discomfort transformation Mood reflective hopeful Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - career transitions - parenting challenges - midlife crisis - educational change Key Concepts psychology developmental theory self‑concept Questions to Reflect On - What parts of your identity are you most reluctant to release? - How can you seek support while redefining yourself? A Different Perspective Growth can isolate you from supportive circles, making the process lonely. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Creation New](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/creation-new-1120531/) [Growth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/growth/) [Growth Costly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/growth-costly-1556317/) [Knowing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knowing/) [Old self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/old-self/) [Point of view](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/point-of-view/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) ## Related quotes > [It's hard to find a way forward. When you're 18 it happens in huge chunks every day, but after 20 years, growth is much more costly.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-taylor/it-s-hard-to-find-a-way-forward-when-you-re-18-it-happens-in-huge/) [James Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-taylor/) > [“All transitions involve leaving a consolidated self behind before any new self can take its place. At the 4-5 shift this means abandoning -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/all-transitions-involve-leaving-a-consolidated-self-behind-before-any/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) > [“Emergence from embeddedness involves a kind of repudiation, an evolutionary re-cognition that what before was me is not-me. This we see, too, on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/emergence-from-embeddedness-involves-a-kind-of-repudiation-an/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) > [“American culture quite naturally provides these ideological supports to those it favors and elects as fellow participants in the social and psychological institutions which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/american-culture-quite-naturally-provides-these-ideological-supports/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) > [Among the many acts of gratitude we owe to God, it may be accounted one to study and contemplate the perfections and beauties of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-edwards/among-the-many-acts-of-gratitude-we-owe-to-god-it-may-be-accounted/) [Jonathan Edwards](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-edwards/) > [“Believers themselves are the point of continuity between creation and the new creation.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-vandrunen/believers-themselves-are-the-point-of-continuity-between-creation-and/) [David VanDrunen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-vandrunen/) > [. . . what humanity most desperately needs is not the creation of new worlds but the recreation in terms of human comprehension of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/archibald-macleish/what-humanity-most-desperately-needs-is-not-the-creation-of-new/) [Archibald MacLeish](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/archibald-macleish/) > [“defines domestication as “the human creation of a new form of plant or animal—one that is identifiably different from its wild ancestors and extant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-christian/defines-domestication-as-the-human-creation-of-a-new-form-of-plant-or/) [David Christian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-christian/) > [The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-jung/the-creation-of-something-new-is-not-accomplished-by-the-intellect-2/) [Carl Jung](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-jung/) > [On the third day the friends of Christ coming at daybreak to the place found the grave empty and the stone rolled away. In…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-k-chesterton/on-the-third-day-the-friends-of-christ-coming-at-daybreak-to-the/) [Gilbert K. Chesterton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-k-chesterton/) > [Innovation is the creation of the new, or the re-arranging of the old in a new way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-vance/innovation-is-the-creation-of-the-new-or-the-re-arranging-of-the-old/) [Mike Vance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-vance/) > [Wherefore give all diligence to the Spirit's motion and leadings, what it moves against, and what it leads to; for now will God make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-nayler/wherefore-give-all-diligence-to-the-spirit-s-motion-and-leadings-what/) [James Nayler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-nayler/) > [“How does a copy become more than a copy? Is art the creation of something new and original, or simply the continuous enlargement, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madeleine-thien/how-does-a-copy-become-more-than-a-copy-is-art-the-creation-of/) [Madeleine Thien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madeleine-thien/) > [There is a case for saying that the creation of new aesthetic forms has been the most fundamentally productive of all forms of human…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-zachary-young/there-is-a-case-for-saying-that-the-creation-of-new-aesthetic-forms/) [John Zachary Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-zachary-young/) > [I study theology in the works of creation and find in it new reasons for adoring the creator.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-potocki/i-study-theology-in-the-works-of-creation-and-find-in-it-new-reasons/) [Jan Potocki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-potocki/) ## More by Robert Kegan > [Successfully functioning in a society with diverse values, traditions and lifestyles requires us to have a relationship to our own reactions rather than be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/successfully-functioning-in-a-society-with-diverse-values-traditions/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) > [“The struggle of the sexes to know each other, to see each other, and to communicate deeply - a struggle which may be more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/the-struggle-of-the-sexes-to-know-each-other-to-see-each-other-and-to/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) > [“Although I have suggested that American culture tends to favor the side of independence over the side of inclusion (and I would extend that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/although-i-have-suggested-that-american-culture-tends-to-favor-the/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) > [It is not change that causes anxiety; it is the feeling that we are without defenses in the presence of what we see as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/it-is-not-change-that-causes-anxiety-it-is-the-feeling-that-we-are/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) > [“But what can be found can also be lost. The process of differentiation, creating the possibility of integration, brings into being the lifelong theme…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/but-what-can-be-found-can-also-be-lost-the-process-of-differentiation/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) > [“If you want to understand another person in some fundamental way you must know where the person is in his or her evolution...the way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/if-you-want-to-understand-another-person-in-some-fundamental-way-you/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) > [“While the emergence from embeddedness in the interpersonal frees one from the subjectivity of constructing one's morality on the bases of arbitrary affections and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/while-the-emergence-from-embeddedness-in-the-interpersonal-frees-one/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) > [“Depression characterized by the 'threat-to' orientation lodges itself in one side of the proposition. Doing so does not eliminate doubt, it only places it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/depression-characterized-by-the-threat-to-orientation-lodges-itself/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) > [“It is easy for us to delude ourselves into thinking that our notions of the healthy person are unbiased by our particular circumstances or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/it-is-easy-for-us-to-delude-ourselves-into-thinking-that-our-notions/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) > [“Instead of regarding them as things that just need to go away, we look at the behaviors as a precious resource, valuable information that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/instead-of-regarding-them-as-things-that-just-need-to-go-away-we-look/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) > [“A writer has to strain to make the reader recover the process in the words 'human being'; we talk about 'a being' and 'beings.'…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/a-writer-has-to-strain-to-make-the-reader-recover-the-process-in-the/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) > [“Emergence from embeddedness involves a kind of repudiation, an evolutionary re-cognition that what before was me is not-me. This we see, too, on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/emergence-from-embeddedness-involves-a-kind-of-repudiation-an/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) > [Learning is the making of meaning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/learning-is-the-making-of-meaning/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) > [“How do we help people (whether individuals or groups) to make their third column commitments visible? We begin by surfacing the biggest fears that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/how-do-we-help-people-whether-individuals-or-groups-to-make-their/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) > [“Kohlberg's stage 4 is essentially the psychological birth of ideology, which is a meaning system that is above all factional - that is, it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kegan/kohlberg-s-stage-4-is-essentially-the-psychological-birth-of-ideology/) [Robert Kegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) [Explore all 26 Robert Kegan quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kegan/) ## More Growth quotes > [My coach, Robert Allen, helped me a lot. He had more influence on my growth as a player than anyone else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lamarcus-aldridge/my-coach-robert-allen-helped-me-a-lot-he-had-more-influence-on-my/) [LaMarcus Aldridge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lamarcus-aldridge/) > [“…progress isn't necessarily about change but about things turning out as we want them to”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-hogan/progress-isn-t-necessarily-about-change-but-about-things-turning-out/) [Phil Hogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-hogan/) > [Advances in technology will continue to reach far into every sector of our economy. Future job and economic growth in industry, defense, transportation, agriculture,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-bond/advances-in-technology-will-continue-to-reach-far-into-every-sector/) [Christopher Bond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-bond/) > [During human progress, every science is evolved out of its corresponding art.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herbert-spencer/during-human-progress-every-science-is-evolved-out-of-its/) [Herbert Spencer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herbert-spencer/) > [“I urge you: don't cut short these thought-trains of yours. Follow them through to their end. Your thoughts and your feelings. Follow them through…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-m-coetzee/i-urge-you-don-t-cut-short-these-thought-trains-of-yours-follow-them/) [J.M. Coetzee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-m-coetzee/) > [“Economic growth continued by means of a succession of new products which found growing and ultimately massive demand. Some of the new products were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-a-hudson/economic-growth-continued-by-means-of-a-succession-of-new-products/) [Edward A. Hudson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-a-hudson/) > [“To engage in dialogue is to serve others via whatever is real inside you; to engage in debate is to ultimately serve the illusions…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oli-anderson/to-engage-in-dialogue-is-to-serve-others-via-whatever-is-real-inside/) [Oli Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oli-anderson/) > [If you learn something that changes you, you've made progress. If you learn something that changes others, you've helped change the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lanie-lane/if-you-learn-something-that-changes-you-you-ve-made-progress-if-you/) [Lanie Lane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lanie-lane/) > [“SILENT LIKE SLEEP You appear by my side, silent like sleep. Soft hair, a little wild. No fear, gentle like a calm river. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-goddard/silent-like-sleep-you-appear-by-my-side-silent-like-sleep-soft-hair-a/) [Donna Goddard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-goddard/) > [Friendship, "the wine of life," should, like a well-stocked cellar, be continually renewed; and it is consolatory to think, that although we can seldom…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-boswell/friendship-the-wine-of-life-should-like-a-well-stocked-cellar-be/) [James Boswell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-boswell/) > [Change is inevitable but personal growth is a choice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-proctor/change-is-inevitable-but-personal-growth-is-a-choice/) [Bob Proctor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-proctor/) > [He who is content with what has been done is an obstacle in the path of progress.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/helen-keller/he-who-is-content-with-what-has-been-done-is-an-obstacle-in-the-path/) [Helen Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/helen-keller/) > [“There is no growth without risk. There is always something to be gained from any experience. It is up to us to interpret our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/truth-devour/there-is-no-growth-without-risk-there-is-always-something-to-be/) [Truth Devour](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/truth-devour/) > [Create an environment for people to fail, to learn, and to grow. Their creativity and productivity will increase.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/create-an-environment-for-people-to-fail-to-learn-and-to-grow-their/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [You have to improve; that's how you develop.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-gustafsson/you-have-to-improve-that-s-how-you-develop/) [Alexander Gustafsson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-gustafsson/) [Browse all 9,113 Growth quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/growth/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“All growth is costly. 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