--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: He will choose you, disarm you with his…" description: "\"“He will choose you, disarm you with his words, and control you with his presence. He will delight you with his wit and his plans. He will show you a g..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/966/robert-d-hare-29849_deceive_he-will-choose-you-disarm-you-with-his-w_2322268.jpg" --- # He will choose you, disarm you with his words, and control… ![“He will choose you, disarm you with his words, and control you with his presence. He will delight you with his wit and his plans. He will show you a good time but you will always get the bill. He will smile and deceive you, and he will scare you with his eyes. And when he is through with you, and…” quote by Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/966/robert-d-hare-29849_deceive_he-will-choose-you-disarm-you-with-his-w_2322268.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/966/robert-d-hare-29849_deceive_he-will-choose-you-disarm-you-with-his-w_2322268.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/966/robert-d-hare-29849_deceive_he-will-choose-you-disarm-you-with-his-w_2322268.jpg) > ““He will choose you, disarm you with his words, and control you with his presence. He will delight you with his wit and his plans. He will show you a good time but you will always get the bill. He will smile and deceive you, and he will scare you with his eyes. And when he is through with you, and he will be through with you, he will desert you and take with him your innocence and your pride. You will be left much sadder but not a lot wiser, and for a long time you will wonder what happened and what you did wrong. And if another of his kind comes knocking on your door, will you open it? -From an essay signed "A psychopath in prison”” [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A manipulative person uses charm, wit, and intimidation to control others, then abandons them, leaving lasting emotional damage. **In simple terms:** Manipulators charm then hurt, leaving victims hurt and confused. Key Takeaway Recognize and protect yourself from charismatic manipulators. Themes manipulation psychopathy trust betrayal emotional harm Mood cautious reflective defensive Type warning psychological advice When to use this quote - personal relationships - workplace - online dating - friendships - family dynamics Key Concepts psychopathy coercive control emotional abuse deception power dynamics Questions to Reflect On - How can you set boundaries with charismatic individuals? - What signs indicate someone is using manipulation rather than genuine affection? A Different Perspective Even aware of manipulation, victims may still feel responsible or doubt their judgment. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Prison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/prison/) [Psychopath](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychopath/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) ## Related quotes > [Not all psychopaths are in prison - some are in the boardroom.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/not-all-psychopaths-are-in-prison-some-are-in-the-boardroom/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [“Good people are rarely suspicious: they cannot imagine others doing things they themselves are incapable of doing; usually they accept the undramatic solution as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/good-people-are-rarely-suspicious-they-cannot-imagine-others-doing/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [“The most debilitating characteristic of even the most well-behaved psychopath is the inability to form a workable team.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/the-most-debilitating-characteristic-of-even-the-most-well-behaved/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [Many psychopaths describe the traditional treatment programmes as finishing schools where they hone their skills. Where they find out that there are lots of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/many-psychopaths-describe-the-traditional-treatment-programmes-as/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [Measurement and categorization are, of course, fundamental to any scientific endeavor, but the implications of being able to identify psychopaths are as much practical…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/measurement-and-categorization-are-of-course-fundamental-to-any/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [People tend to think of psychopaths as criminals. In fact, the majority of psychopaths aren't criminal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/people-tend-to-think-of-psychopaths-as-criminals-in-fact-the-majority/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [All the reading in the world cannot immunize you from the devastating effects of psychopaths. Everyone, including the experts, can be taken in, conned,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/all-the-reading-in-the-world-cannot-immunize-you-from-the-devastating/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [Psychopaths view any social exchange as a ‘feeding opportunity,’ a contest or a test of wills in which there can be only one winner.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/psychopaths-view-any-social-exchange-as-a-feeding-opportunity-a/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [Psychopaths are social predators, and like all predators, they are looking for feeding grounds. Wherever you get power, prestige and money, you will find…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/psychopaths-are-social-predators-and-like-all-predators-they-are/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [A psychopath can tell what you're thinking but what they don't do is feel what you feel. These are people without a conscience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/a-psychopath-can-tell-what-you-re-thinking-but-what-they-don-t-do-is/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [Psychopaths have a grandiose self-structure which demands a scornful and detached devaluation of others, in order to ward off their envy toward the good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/psychopaths-have-a-grandiose-self-structure-which-demands-a-scornful/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [Too many people hold the idea that psychopaths are essentially killers or convicts. The general public hasn't been educated to see beyond the social…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/too-many-people-hold-the-idea-that-psychopaths-are-essentially/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [Language and words for psychopaths are only word deep; there is no emotional colouring behind it. A psychopath can use a word like, ‘I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/language-and-words-for-psychopaths-are-only-word-deep-there-is-no/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [“Looks sure can be deceiving: not every ‘ugly’ person is a ‘bad’ person (or is guilty of whatever it is that they are accused…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/looks-sure-can-be-deceiving-not-every-ugly-person-is-a-bad-person-or/) [Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/) > [I stagnated in prison a long time, and I have wasted most of my life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-gilmore/i-stagnated-in-prison-a-long-time-and-i-have-wasted-most-of-my-life/) [Gary Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-gilmore/) ## More by Robert D. Hare > [Language and words for psychopaths are only word deep; there is no emotional colouring behind it. A psychopath can use a word like, ‘I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/language-and-words-for-psychopaths-are-only-word-deep-there-is-no/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [Too many people hold the idea that psychopaths are essentially killers or convicts. The general public hasn't been educated to see beyond the social…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/too-many-people-hold-the-idea-that-psychopaths-are-essentially/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [There are certainly more people in the business world who would score high in the psychopathic dimension than in the general population. You'll find…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/there-are-certainly-more-people-in-the-business-world-who-would-score/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [Psychopaths have a grandiose self-structure which demands a scornful and detached devaluation of others, in order to ward off their envy toward the good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/psychopaths-have-a-grandiose-self-structure-which-demands-a-scornful/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [A psychopath can tell what you're thinking but what they don't do is feel what you feel. These are people without a conscience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/a-psychopath-can-tell-what-you-re-thinking-but-what-they-don-t-do-is/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [Psychopaths are social predators, and like all predators, they are looking for feeding grounds. Wherever you get power, prestige and money, you will find…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/psychopaths-are-social-predators-and-like-all-predators-they-are/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [Psychopaths view any social exchange as a ‘feeding opportunity,’ a contest or a test of wills in which there can be only one winner.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/psychopaths-view-any-social-exchange-as-a-feeding-opportunity-a/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [All the reading in the world cannot immunize you from the devastating effects of psychopaths. Everyone, including the experts, can be taken in, conned,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/all-the-reading-in-the-world-cannot-immunize-you-from-the-devastating/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [Science cannot progress without reliable and accurate measurement of what it is you are trying to study. The key is measurement, simple as that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/science-cannot-progress-without-reliable-and-accurate-measurement-of/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [For most of us even the imagined threat of criticism functions to control our behavior. We are haunted to some degree by questions about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/for-most-of-us-even-the-imagined-threat-of-criticism-functions-to/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [People tend to think of psychopaths as criminals. In fact, the majority of psychopaths aren't criminal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/people-tend-to-think-of-psychopaths-as-criminals-in-fact-the-majority/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [Measurement and categorization are, of course, fundamental to any scientific endeavor, but the implications of being able to identify psychopaths are as much practical…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/measurement-and-categorization-are-of-course-fundamental-to-any/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [Many psychopaths describe the traditional treatment programmes as finishing schools where they hone their skills. Where they find out that there are lots of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/many-psychopaths-describe-the-traditional-treatment-programmes-as/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [I always said that if I wasn't studying psychopaths in prison, I'd do it at the stock exchange.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/i-always-said-that-if-i-wasn-t-studying-psychopaths-in-prison-i-d-do/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) > [“The most debilitating characteristic of even the most well-behaved psychopath is the inability to form a workable team.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hare/the-most-debilitating-characteristic-of-even-the-most-well-behaved/) [Robert D. Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) [Explore all 18 Robert D. Hare quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hare/) ## More Deceive quotes > [We deceive ourselves when giving respect to the person for whom we have surrendered ourselves, when we respectively expect them to be as we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/we-deceive-ourselves-when-giving-respect-to-the-person-for-whom-we/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [“She knows she's deceiving herself about that, but she prefers to deceive herself. She desperately needs to believe such pure joy is still possible.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/she-knows-she-s-deceiving-herself-about-that-but-she-prefers-to/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [“To recklessly excuse a failure is to believe that I’ve effectively erased it from the story of my life, when I’ve actually imprinted it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-d-lounsbrough/to-recklessly-excuse-a-failure-is-to-believe-that-i-ve-effectively/) [Craig D. Lounsbrough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-d-lounsbrough/) > [A woman one loves rarely suffices for all our needs, so we deceive her with another whom we do not love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/a-woman-one-loves-rarely-suffices-for-all-our-needs-so-we-deceive-her/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [“Looks sure can be deceiving: not every ‘ugly’ person is a ‘bad’ person (or is guilty of whatever it is that they are accused…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/looks-sure-can-be-deceiving-not-every-ugly-person-is-a-bad-person-or/) [Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/) > [“When people say they do not care what others thing of them, for the most part they deceive themselves”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-somerset-maugham/when-people-say-they-do-not-care-what-others-thing-of-them-for-the/) [W. Somerset Maugham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-somerset-maugham/) > [Nothing is so easy as to deceive oneself; for what we wish, we readily believe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demosthenes/nothing-is-so-easy-as-to-deceive-oneself-for-what-we-wish-we-readily/) [Demosthenes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demosthenes/) > [No, it's not that they're bad. It's that they're obliged to pretend they're good. They've been brought up to deceive and be cunning, to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-fuentes/no-it-s-not-that-they-re-bad-it-s-that-they-re-obliged-to-pretend/) [Carlos Fuentes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-fuentes/) > [“In my opinion, a lie is a physical act, verbal statement, or omission, deliberately designed to deceive another of the truth.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-craig/in-my-opinion-a-lie-is-a-physical-act-verbal-statement-or-omission/) [David Craig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-craig/) > [“When you slice the truth too thin, you deceive.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eileen-wilks/when-you-slice-the-truth-too-thin-you-deceive/) [Eileen Wilks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eileen-wilks/) > [Those who try to achieve success without hard work ultimately deceive themselves-or worse-deceive others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-cook/those-who-try-to-achieve-success-without-hard-work-ultimately-deceive/) [Tim Cook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-cook/) > [Even when they are trying to deceive the voters, the Democrats are incompetent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-hilton/even-when-they-are-trying-to-deceive-the-voters-the-democrats-are/) [Steve Hilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-hilton/) > [Trust the story ... the storyteller may dissemble and deceive, the story can't: the story can only ever be itself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-robertson/trust-the-story-the-storyteller-may-dissemble-and-deceive-the-story/) [James Robertson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-robertson/) > [Oh, what a tangled web we weave...when first we practice to deceive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/oh-what-a-tangled-web-we-weave-when-first-we-practice-to-deceive/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [We often shed tears that deceive ourselves after deceiving others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francois-de-la-rochefoucauld/we-often-shed-tears-that-deceive-ourselves-after-deceiving-others/) [Francois de La Rochefoucauld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francois-de-la-rochefoucauld/) Browse all 340 Deceive quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“He will choose you, disarm you with his words, and control you with his presence. 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