--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I resolved to come right to the point…" description: "\"“I resolved to come right to the point. \"Hello,\" I said as coldly as possible, \"we've got to talk.\" \"Yes, Bob,\" he said quietly, \"what's on your mind?\"..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d00/robert-b-oxnam-273290_alcoholic_i-resolved-to-come-right-to-the-point-he_2651704.jpg" --- # I resolved to come right to the point. "Hello," I said as… ![“I resolved to come right to the point. "Hello," I said as coldly as possible, "we've got to talk." "Yes, Bob," he said quietly, "what's on your mind?" I shut my eyes for a moment, letting the raging frustration well up inside, then stared angrily at the psychiatrist. "Look, I've been religious…” quote by Robert B. Oxnam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d00/robert-b-oxnam-273290_alcoholic_i-resolved-to-come-right-to-the-point-he_2651704.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d00/robert-b-oxnam-273290_alcoholic_i-resolved-to-come-right-to-the-point-he_2651704.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d00/robert-b-oxnam-273290_alcoholic_i-resolved-to-come-right-to-the-point-he_2651704.jpg) > ““I resolved to come right to the point. "Hello," I said as coldly as possible, "we've got to talk." "Yes, Bob," he said quietly, "what's on your mind?" I shut my eyes for a moment, letting the raging frustration well up inside, then stared angrily at the psychiatrist. "Look, I've been religious about this recovery business. I go to AA meetings daily and to your sessions twice a week. I know it's good that I've stopped drinking. But every other aspect of my life feels the same as it did before. No, it's worse. I hate my life. I hate myself." Suddenly I felt a slight warmth in my face, blinked my eyes a bit, and then stared at him. "Bob, I'm afraid our time's up," Smith said in a matter-of-fact style. "Time's up?" I exclaimed. "I just got here." "No." He shook his head, glancing at his clock. "It's been fifty minutes. You don't remember anything?" "I remember everything. I was just telling you that these sessions don't seem to be working for me." Smith paused to choose his words very carefully. "Do you know a very angry boy named 'Tommy'?" "No," I said in bewilderment, "except for my cousin Tommy whom I haven't seen in twenty years..." "No." He stopped me short. "This Tommy's not your cousin. I spent this last fifty minutes talking with another Tommy. He's full of anger. And he's inside of you." "You're kidding?" "No, I'm not. Look. I want to take a little time to think over what happened today. And don't worry about this. I'll set up an emergency session with you tomorrow. We'll deal with it then." Robert This is Robert speaking. Today I'm the only personality who is strongly visible inside and outside. My own term for such an MPD role is dominant personality. Fifteen years ago, I rarely appeared on the outside, though I had considerable influence on the inside; back then, I was what one might call a "recessive personality." My passage from "recessive" to "dominant" is a key part of our story; be patient, you'll learn lots more about me later on. Indeed, since you will meet all eleven personalities who once roamed about, it gets a bit complex in the first half of this book; but don't worry, you don't have to remember them all, and it gets sorted out in the last half of the book. You may be wondering -- if not "Robert," who, then, was the dominant MPD personality back in the 1980s and earlier? His name was "Bob," and his dominance amounted to a long reign, from the early 1960s to the early 1990s. Since "Robert B. Oxnam" was born in 1942, you can see that "Bob" was in command from early to middle adulthood. Although he was the dominant MPD personality for thirty years, Bob did not have a clue that he was afflicted by multiple personality disorder until 1990, the very last year of his dominance. That was the fateful moment when Bob first heard that he had an "angry boy named Tommy" inside of him. How, you might ask, can someone have MPD for half a lifetime without knowing it? And even if he didn't know it, didn't others around him spot it? To outsiders, this is one of the most perplexing aspects of MPD. Multiple personality is an extreme disorder, and yet it can go undetected for decades, by the patient, by family and close friends, even by trained therapists. Part of the explanation is the very nature of the disorder itself: MPD thrives on secrecy because the dissociative individual is repressing a terrible inner secret. The MPD individual becomes so skilled in hiding from himself that he becomes a specialist, often unknowingly, in hiding from others. Part of the explanation is rooted in outside observers: MPD often manifests itself in other behaviors, frequently addiction and emotional outbursts, which are wrongly seen as the "real problem." The fact of the matter is that Bob did not see himself as the dominant personality inside Robert B. Oxnam. Instead, he saw himself as a whole person. In his mind, Bob was merely a nickname for Bob Oxnam, Robert Oxnam, Dr. Robert B. Oxnam, PhD.”” [Robert B. Oxnam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-b-oxnam/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A therapist reveals that inner anger is personified as a separate identity, highlighting the complexity of dissociative disorders and the need for compassionate self‑inquiry. **In simple terms:** Inner anger can feel like another person inside you. Key Takeaway Recognize and address inner conflicts. Themes mental health identity psychology therapy self‑awareness Mood empathetic introspective hopeful Type Alcoholic:1 Alcoholism:1 Alters:1 Close friends:0 Dissociative-identity-disorder:1 Fifteen years:0 Hate my life:1 Hate myself:1 Inside and outside:1 Last year:0 Little time:0 Mental health:1 Mental illness:1 Mpd:1 Multiple personalities:1 Multiple personality:0 Personality disorder:1 Psychiatrist:0 Psychology:1 Split personality:1 Survivor:0 Talking:0 Therapy:1 Thirty years:0 Years ago:0 Middle Adulthood:0 Close Friend:0 Said Coldly:0 Got Talk:0 Personality Passage:0 Therapists Explanation:0 When to use this quote - counseling sessions - self‑reflection - support groups - personal healing Key Concepts dissociative identity disorder inner child work psychodynamic therapy Questions to Reflect On - How do you identify inner voices? - What steps help integrate fragmented selves? A Different Perspective Complex disorders may resist simple explanations. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Alcoholic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alcoholic/) [Alcoholism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alcoholism/) [Alters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alters/) [Close Friend](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/close-friend/) [Close friends](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/close-friends/) [Dissociative-identity-disorder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dissociative-identity-disorder/) [Fifteen years](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fifteen-years/) [Got Talk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/got-talk-1281461/) [Hate my life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate-my-life/) [Hate myself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate-myself/) [Inside and outside](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inside-and-outside/) [Last year](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/last-year/) [Little time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/little-time/) [Mental health](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mental-health/) [Mental illness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mental-illness/) [Middle Adulthood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/middle-adulthood-217404/) [Mpd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mpd/) [Multiple personalities](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/multiple-personalities/) [Multiple personality](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/multiple-personality/) [Personality disorder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/personality-disorder/) [Personality Passage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/personality-passage-2355803/) [Psychiatrist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychiatrist/) [Psychology](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychology/) [Said Coldly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/said-coldly-331346/) [Split personality](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/split-personality/) [Survivor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/survivor/) [Talking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/talking/) [Therapists Explanation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/therapists-explanation-2355804/) [Therapy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/therapy/) [Thirty years](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thirty-years/) [Years ago](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/years-ago/) ## Related quotes > [Success is becoming in middle adulthood what you dreamed to be in late childhood.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nassim-nicholas-taleb/success-is-becoming-in-middle-adulthood-what-you-dreamed-to-be-in/) [Nassim Nicholas Taleb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nassim-nicholas-taleb/) > [ I got to talk to people like Mel \[Lewis\] and Milt Hilton and Benny Carter and Clark Terry and... Jay McShann. I just found… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-gordon/i-got-to-talk-to-people-like-mel-lewis-and-milt-hilton-and-benny/) [Jon Gordon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-gordon/) > [If you're not out living, then you've got nothing to talk about.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/g-eazy/if-you-re-not-out-living-then-you-ve-got-nothing-to-talk-about/) [G-Eazy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/g-eazy/) > [It's botherin' me, man. You know, you can't say this, you can't say that, I'm like, well, how am I gonna talk about the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-lawrence/it-s-botherin-me-man-you-know-you-can-t-say-this-you-can-t-say-that-i/) [Martin Lawrence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-lawrence/) > [We don't got to talk to each other off the court. As long as we talk on the court, on the defensive end, that's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tristan-thompson/we-don-t-got-to-talk-to-each-other-off-the-court-as-long-as-we-talk/) [Tristan Thompson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tristan-thompson/) > [“If you want to change people's minds, you've got to talk to their elephants.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-haidt/if-you-want-to-change-people-s-minds-you-ve-got-to-talk-to-their/) [jonathan haidt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-haidt/) > [I respect Koulibaly a lot and we got to talk to each other, to understand what kind of person he is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/giorgio-chiellini/i-respect-koulibaly-a-lot-and-we-got-to-talk-to-each-other-to/) [Giorgio Chiellini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/giorgio-chiellini/) > [I can't make every decision for you. I don't have 14 timeouts. You guys got to get together and talk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-popovich/i-can-t-make-every-decision-for-you-i-don-t-have-14-timeouts-you-guys/) [Gregg Popovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-popovich/) > [You can't just eat good food. You've got to talk about it too.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kurt-vonnegut/you-can-t-just-eat-good-food-you-ve-got-to-talk-about-it-too/) [Kurt Vonnegut](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kurt-vonnegut/) > [“Sometimes how you talk is all you got. Even if your talk is wrong.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-z-danielewski/sometimes-how-you-talk-is-all-you-got-even-if-your-talk-is-wrong/) [Mark Z. Danielewski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-z-danielewski/) > [“Oh, it’s a little worse than that,” he said, nettled. “It makes you the illegitimate son of the senior Republican senator from South Dakota.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-palmer/oh-it-s-a-little-worse-than-that-he-said-nettled-it-makes-you-the/) [Diana Palmer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-palmer/) > [“You’re toying with one of my people,” she said coldly, watching impassively as he lifted her hand to his mouth. “You never used to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvia-day/you-re-toying-with-one-of-my-people-she-said-coldly-watching/) [Sylvia Day](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvia-day/) > [“If you’re as intelligent as I think, you’ll back away and give him time to examine his true desires. He’s so busy fulfilling everyone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shelby-reed/if-you-re-as-intelligent-as-i-think-you-ll-back-away-and-give-him/) [Shelby Reed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shelby-reed/) > [Don’t be afraid,” she said, coldly, “ as far as love may go she may be worthy of you. It must have taken a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gaskell/don-t-be-afraid-she-said-coldly-as-far-as-love-may-go-she-may-be/) [Elizabeth Gaskell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gaskell/) > [“How inappropriate,’ Lila said coldly. ‘Who’d ever dream of showing up at a dance in a wheelchair? What does she think she’s going to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francine-pascal/how-inappropriate-lila-said-coldly-who-d-ever-dream-of-showing-up-at/) [Francine Pascal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francine-pascal/) ## More Alcoholic quotes > [“I'm an alcoholic, Tara.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jaci-burton/i-m-an-alcoholic-tara/) [Jaci Burton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jaci-burton/) > [“Alcoholism is a choice... not a life sentence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-norman/alcoholism-is-a-choice-not-a-life-sentence/) [David Norman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-norman/) > [If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-sedaris/if-you-decide-on-having-an-alcoholic-at-your-party-make-sure-it-s-a/) [Amy Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-sedaris/) > [I started drinking when I was like 15, and by the time I was 19 everybody knew I was an alcoholic. So I would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/felipe-esparza/i-started-drinking-when-i-was-like-15-and-by-the-time-i-was-19/) [Felipe Esparza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/felipe-esparza/) > [Booze is my escape from reality,If your a drinker,You understand,I'm a Alcoholic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/becka-miller/booze-is-my-escape-from-reality-if-your-a-drinker-you-understand-i-m/) [Becka Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/becka-miller/) > [There are plenty of alcoholics who can be magnificent when drunk: it does not make them any less alcoholic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ingrid-bengis/there-are-plenty-of-alcoholics-who-can-be-magnificent-when-drunk-it/) [Ingrid Bengis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ingrid-bengis/) > [“Medical research has revealed that in about one-tenth of the population, the liver processes alcohol differently, releasing a chemical messenger that creates the craving…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kaylie-jones/medical-research-has-revealed-that-in-about-one-tenth-of-the/) [Kaylie Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kaylie-jones/) > [“The alcoholic retains the ability to condemn his addiction and advise those not subject to it to avoid succumbing to the liquid poison. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pitigrilli/the-alcoholic-retains-the-ability-to-condemn-his-addiction-and-advise/) [Pitigrilli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pitigrilli/) > [When a woman drinks it's as if an animal were drinking, or a child. Alcoholism is scandalous in a woman, and a female alcoholic…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marguerite-duras/when-a-woman-drinks-it-s-as-if-an-animal-were-drinking-or-a-child/) [Marguerite Duras](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marguerite-duras/) > [In Stratford you either turn into an alcoholic or you better write.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-plummer/in-stratford-you-either-turn-into-an-alcoholic-or-you-better-write/) [Christopher Plummer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-plummer/) > [I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. 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He is very much the actor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-w/more-than-most-people-the-alcoholic-leads-a-double-life-he-is-very/) [Bill W](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-w/) > [“He’s downed four drinks in the short time it took for me to get myself together and find him. Either he’s shaken by something…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-ee/he-s-downed-four-drinks-in-the-short-time-it-took-for-me-to-get/) [Susan Ee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-ee/) [Browse all 303 Alcoholic quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alcoholic/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I resolved to come right to the point. \"Hello,\" I said as coldly as possible, \"we've got to talk.\" \"Yes, Bob,\" he said quietly, \"what's on your mind?\" I shut my eyes for a moment, letting the raging frustration well up inside, then stared angrily at the psychiatrist. \"Look, I've been religious about this recovery business. I go to AA meetings daily and to your sessions twice a week. I know it's good that I've stopped drinking. But every other aspect of my life feels the same as it did before. No, it's worse. I hate my life. I hate myself.\" Suddenly I felt a slight warmth in my face, blinked my eyes a bit, and then stared at him. \"Bob, I'm afraid our time's up,\" Smith said in a matter-of-fact style. \"Time's up?\" I exclaimed. \"I just got here.\" \"No.\" He shook his head, glancing at his clock. \"It's been fifty minutes. You don't remember anything?\" \"I remember everything. I was just telling you that these sessions don't seem to be working for me.\" Smith paused to choose his words very carefully. \"Do you know a very angry boy named 'Tommy'?\" \"No,\" I said in bewilderment, \"except for my cousin Tommy whom I haven't seen in twenty years...\" \"No.\" He stopped me short. \"This Tommy's not your cousin. I spent this last fifty minutes talking with another Tommy. He's full of anger. And he's inside of you.\" \"You're kidding?\" \"No, I'm not. Look. I want to take a little time to think over what happened today. And don't worry about this. I'll set up an emergency session with you tomorrow. We'll deal with it then.\" Robert This is Robert speaking. Today I'm the only personality who is strongly visible inside and outside. My own term for such an MPD role is dominant personality. Fifteen years ago, I rarely appeared on the outside, though I had considerable influence on the inside; back then, I was what one might call a \"recessive personality.\" My passage from \"recessive\" to \"dominant\" is a key part of our story; be patient, you'll learn lots more about me later on. Indeed, since you will meet all eleven personalities who once roamed about, it gets a bit complex in the first half of this book; but don't worry, you don't have to remember them all, and it gets sorted out in the last half of the book. You may be wondering -- if not \"Robert,\" who, then, was the dominant MPD personality back in the 1980s and earlier? His name was \"Bob,\" and his dominance amounted to a long reign, from the early 1960s to the early 1990s. Since \"Robert B. Oxnam\" was born in 1942, you can see that \"Bob\" was in command from early to middle adulthood. Although he was the dominant MPD personality for thirty years, Bob did not have a clue that he was afflicted by multiple personality disorder until 1990, the very last year of his dominance. That was the fateful moment when Bob first heard that he had an \"angry boy named Tommy\" inside of him. How, you might ask, can someone have MPD for half a lifetime without knowing it? And even if he didn't know it, didn't others around him spot it? To outsiders, this is one of the most perplexing aspects of MPD. Multiple personality is an extreme disorder, and yet it can go undetected for decades, by the patient, by family and close friends, even by trained therapists. Part of the explanation is the very nature of the disorder itself: MPD thrives on secrecy because the dissociative individual is repressing a terrible inner secret. The MPD individual becomes so skilled in hiding from himself that he becomes a specialist, often unknowingly, in hiding from others. Part of the explanation is rooted in outside observers: MPD often manifests itself in other behaviors, frequently addiction and emotional outbursts, which are wrongly seen as the \"real problem.\" The fact of the matter is that Bob did not see himself as the dominant personality inside Robert B. Oxnam. Instead, he saw himself as a whole person. In his mind, Bob was merely a nickname for Bob Oxnam, Robert Oxnam, Dr. Robert B. Oxnam, PhD.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Robert B. Oxnam" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-b-oxnam/i-resolved-to-come-right-to-the-point-hello-i-said-as-coldly-as/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Alcoholic" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-b-oxnam/i-resolved-to-come-right-to-the-point-hello-i-said-as-coldly-as/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d00/robert-b-oxnam-273290_alcoholic_i-resolved-to-come-right-to-the-point-he_2651704.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d00/robert-b-oxnam-273290_alcoholic_i-resolved-to-come-right-to-the-point-he_2651704.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d00/robert-b-oxnam-273290_alcoholic_i-resolved-to-come-right-to-the-point-he_2651704.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I resolved to come right to the point. \"Hello,\" I said as coldly as possible, \"we've got to talk.\" \"Yes…” — Robert B. 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