--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: we “are married, or have been, or plan to…" description: "\"“we “are married, or have been, or plan to be, or suffer from not being.”\" — Rebecca Traister" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/65b/rebecca-traister-4925_marriage_we-are-married-or-have-been-or-plan-to-b_392963.jpg" --- # we “are married, or have been, or plan to be, or suffer… ![“we “are married, or have been, or plan to be, or suffer from not being.” quote by Rebecca Traister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/65b/rebecca-traister-4925_marriage_we-are-married-or-have-been-or-plan-to-b_392963.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/65b/rebecca-traister-4925_marriage_we-are-married-or-have-been-or-plan-to-b_392963.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/65b/rebecca-traister-4925_marriage_we-are-married-or-have-been-or-plan-to-b_392963.jpg) > ““we “are married, or have been, or plan to be, or suffer from not being.”” [Rebecca Traister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-traister/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. She highlights the fluidity of relationships, suggesting that being in a partnership is a spectrum rather than a fixed state. **In simple terms:** Relationships are fluid, not fixed. Key Takeaway Accept relationship ambiguity. Themes relationships identity society fluidity Mood thoughtful analytical Type philosophical reflective When to use this quote - dating - marriage counseling - friendship - self‑reflection Key Concepts social constructs personal autonomy gender roles Questions to Reflect On - Do you define your relationship status? - How does societal pressure affect your view of partnership? A Different Perspective Some may view fluid relationships as unstable. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) ## Related quotes > [Maybe I'm completely different from everyone else. 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When I was on my way to the event today, Carolyn texted me and told me that Steve and Eve got…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linda-morrisx/but-there-s-more-when-i-was-on-my-way-to-the-event-today-carolyn/) Linda Morrisx > [Apuleius married a rich widow, then wrote \_The Golden Ass\_.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-abbey/apuleius-married-a-rich-widow-then-wrote-the-golden-ass/) [Edward Abbey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-abbey/) > [Unmarried couples should get married - that's an excellent tax avoidance measure, if a bit drastic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-whiting/unmarried-couples-should-get-married-that-s-an-excellent-tax/) John Whiting ## More by Rebecca Traister > [“..the expectations of Republican Motherhood – in which women’s obligations were the instilling of civic virtue in offspring and the moral maintenance of their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-traister/the-expectations-of-republican-motherhood-in-which-women-s/) [Rebecca Traister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-traister/) > [“Andrea Dworkin famously commented that “Marriage as an institution developed from rape as a practice.” In”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-traister/andrea-dworkin-famously-commented-that-marriage-as-an-institution/) [Rebecca Traister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-traister/) > [Changing professional expectations and technological tools have created an impossibility of balancing work and life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-traister/changing-professional-expectations-and-technological-tools-have/) [Rebecca Traister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-traister/) > [I'd spent my whole adult life considering myself an independent entity, my life filled by work and friends and family. Suddenly I had a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-traister/i-d-spent-my-whole-adult-life-considering-myself-an-independent/) [Rebecca Traister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-traister/) > [The lack of marriage is being blamed for almost every social ill - whether it's gun violence, whether it's poverty, whether it's the dropping…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-traister/the-lack-of-marriage-is-being-blamed-for-almost-every-social-ill/) [Rebecca Traister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-traister/) > [“Friedan also didn’t consider the population of American women who were already altering marriage patterns,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-traister/friedan-also-didn-t-consider-the-population-of-american-women-who/) [Rebecca Traister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-traister/) > [After Emancipation, black women married earlier and more often because they were legally free to do so for the first time, and that was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-traister/after-emancipation-black-women-married-earlier-and-more-often-because/) [Rebecca Traister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-traister/) > [Throughout America's history, the start of adult life for women - whatever else it might have been destined to include - had been typically…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-traister/throughout-america-s-history-the-start-of-adult-life-for-women/) [Rebecca Traister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-traister/) > [“In his 1873 Sex in Education; or A Fair Chance for the Girls, Harvard professor Edward Clarke argued that the female brain, if engaged…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-traister/in-his-1873-sex-in-education-or-a-fair-chance-for-the-girls-harvard/) [Rebecca Traister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-traister/) > [By the time Clinton graduated from Yale Law School, many people, including her boyfriend Bill, believed she could, and should, embark on a political…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-traister/by-the-time-clinton-graduated-from-yale-law-school-many-people/) [Rebecca Traister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-traister/) > [In 2013, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, around 64 percent of mothers with children under six worked.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-traister/in-2013-according-to-the-bureau-of-labor-statistics-around-64-percent/) [Rebecca Traister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-traister/) > [Since the late 19th century, the median age of first marriage for women had fluctuated between 20 and 22. 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